Family - Jesus, Mary, and John

Please turn to John 19:17.

See if you can guess some of these famous last words—from famous characters—last week we looked at famous last words from movies—this week these are reported famous last words from famous people in history. real people.

first one… from a famous person in history. He said this “I’m bored with it all.”

—Winston Churchill — it is recorded that he said this before slipping into a coma, and he died 9 days later at the age of 90.

here’s another one—after a friend bought this person on their death bed 12 bottles of win as a gift, this person said, “Pity, pity, too late!”

—answer—the composer Beethoven

another one, “I’m going to the bathroom to read...”

—Elvis Presley…he said this to his fiance early in the morning at his mansion in Graceland...

“I go to prepare a place for you...”— Harriet Tubman famous conductor on the Under ground railroad

here is another one… “I am with you always to the end of the age.”

some of those may not matter very much but some do.

Jesus also famously said that out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.

last words can matter immensely.

And as we are in the Easter season, we are focusing on the last words of Jesus.

and how many statements are recorded in the 4 Gospels—how many statements are recorded that Jesus said while hanging from the cross?

Answer 7...

So far---we have, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”

and last week, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.”

today, we see another one.

Please stand; I am actually going to start at verse 17.

John 19:17–27 NIV

17 Carrying his own cross, he went out to the place of the Skull (which in Aramaic is called Golgotha). 18 There they crucified him, and with him two others—one on each side and Jesus in the middle. 19 Pilate had a notice prepared and fastened to the cross. It read: jesus of nazareth, the king of the jews. 20 Many of the Jews read this sign, for the place where Jesus was crucified was near the city, and the sign was written in Aramaic, Latin and Greek. 21 The chief priests of the Jews protested to Pilate, “Do not write ‘The King of the Jews,’ but that this man claimed to be king of the Jews.” 22 Pilate answered, “What I have written, I have written.” 23 When the soldiers crucified Jesus, they took his clothes, dividing them into four shares, one for each of them, with the undergarment remaining. This garment was seamless, woven in one piece from top to bottom. 24 “Let’s not tear it,” they said to one another. “Let’s decide by lot who will get it.” This happened that the scripture might be fulfilled that said, “They divided my clothes among them and cast lots for my garment.” So this is what the soldiers did. 25 Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. 26 When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman, here is your son,” 27 and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.

look at verses 26-27 for this last statement.

John 19:26–27 NIV

26 When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman, here is your son,” 27 and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.

what do we learn from Jesus’ last words here? Why do they matter?

I want to look at 4 different relationships we see here—4 different relationships and thus I think 4 different lessons we learn.

Relationship #1--Jesus’ relationship with his mom: what does Jesus’ relationship with his mom teach us?

Here it is: Jesus’ relationship with his mother teaches us/reminds us to honor our parents.

This is amazing about Jesus on the cross, he is hanging there, bleeding, in tremendous pain, bearing the sin of the world...

and he pleads for our forgiveness

he saves the criminal on the cross—today you will be with me in paradise

and now he is providing for his mother…a place for her to be once Jesus dies.

most of us if we were on the cross, even if we are in minor pain, we are not focused on others but ourselves. (paper cut…ouch…) but Jesus is...

you may wonder—well—where is Joseph—Mary’s husband? Jesus’ earthly father. The Bible is pretty silent about this; by the time Jesus is an adult and started his ministry—we read of accounts of his mother Mary but not Joseph, so we assume that Joseph has died and Mary is a widow.

and in that culture, as a female and a widow, you relied heavily upon others. There was no social security or retirement plan; no medicare. and as a woman especially you relied on your husband for your income. Jesus probably was the bread winner as a carpenter for Mary during some of his adult life.

now where are his brothers? why didn’t they take care of Jesus. well, we know that they did not always look favorably upon Jesus—and at this point may not have been in the Jerusalem area (but in Capernaum, another city)

so this is a pretty touching moment..that Jesus while providing the sacrifice for our sins in our place so we can be forgiven, while He is providing us a spiritual eternal home, his providing a physical home in the near future for his mom to live with the apostle John to take care of her.

I think Jesus is even showing us the value of honoring our parents.

one of the 10 commandments in the OT is this.

Exodus 20:12 NIV

12 “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

and it is repeated in the NT

Ephesians 6:1–2 NIV

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—

Ephesians 6:3 NIV

3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”

now certainly not all of us are parents, but all of us are or have been children. and this command applies to us.

and certainly, our relationship with our parents change over time.

(6:1) while we are younger. parents are to be a God-given gift, and authority to instruct us, discipline for us, model for us....they have more authority over us, and we honor them by obeying

when we honor our parents as young children and learn to honor them it is a model of the kind of honor we are to give God—our true heavenly Father—it teaches us to much about our relationship with God!

but as we get older and become adults—our obedience to them changes, but our honoring never does.

and i know that relationships with parents can be COMPLICATED especially as you get older. the older you get, you don’t always agree, or you may see things more clearly about your parents…in some ways we are all wounded from our imperfect parents…so how do we honor them…let me just suggest a couple of ways:

keep this in mind--

now, honor does mean you have to trust your parents...

honor does not mean you have to agree with your parents on everything...

honor does not mean that you have follow their advice...

it doesn’t mean you have to always like your parents...

how do you honor your parents, especially as you get older...

one is from Jesus—we provide for them as they get older in some way.

1 Timothy 5:3–4 NIV

3 Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need. 4 But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God.

1 Timothy 5:8 NIV

8 Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

so when we are younger, our parents provide for us—but as they get older, adult children provide for their parents—that’s biblical, and many other cultures often challenge us in this. we as Americans are not as good at this. (and i am not just talking financially or materially); how parents provided for us—we now provide for them.

another way we honor our parents is to forgive them. I can’t cover every situation—but no doubt—some of you have very little respect for your parents and have been wounded. Some of you may be very angry or bitter, and if you hold on to that, it will control you for a long time. even if you say “I will never be like my parents...” your parents are still controlling you because you are trying to be the opposite of them. now, the greater the offense, the more help you will need, perhaps from a friend or a pastor or counselor, but since Jesus hung on the cross, dying for his enemies like us, pleading for our forgiveness—if that is the center of our life—then the HS gives us supernatural resources to do this. when this happens, it frees you from the poison of bitterness; it frees you to still honor them...

other ways? pray for them, speak well of them publicly and privately, tell them you love them, and more. “You know dad, you really taught me how to fix things; or how to persevere; or how to love people.” seek their wisdom and advice...

the 2nd relationship we see here is this:

relationship #2 — Mary’s relationship with Jesus teaches us:

we read in John 19:25

John 19:25 NIV

25 Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene.

now there are probably 4 women here, and it is remarkable that Mary, his mom is there.

remember crucifixion was a horrible way to die. The Roman Empire had perfected this barbaric form of execution, where you slowly died hanging on a cross, dying of suffocation.

so can you imagine watching your son die—a horrible, brutal death. at this point, he had already been whipped; beaten, crown of thorns on his head; in some ways, Jesus might not have looked recognizable.

it is hard enough as a parent—if you see your child suffering in some way, or even in pain, you often want to help. I feel that way now with my kids—if it is my little girls—I want to jump in and rescue them.

but Mary could only watch as her son died on the cross.

and she stuck with him—amazing!

what do we learn—I don’t want to read into this passage too much—but even though Jesus is older, an adult—Mary is still concerned about her son. Parents—you never stop parenting, influencing, being concerned about your children. here is another way to put it—Parents—continue to support and influence your children, even as they get older.

yes, your relationship with your children changes…but you never stop caring for, being concerned about, and loving your children.

Mary, Jesus’ mom was with him until the end, even though she did not understand Jesus’ ministry.

yes Mary knew Jesus was different! an angel had appeared to here in Luke 1—and said you will have a baby, even as a virgin, the HS will enable this, he will save his people from their sins; she knew there was something special about Jesus!

we read earlier in John 2—at the wedding feast when Jesus turned water into wine—that it was Mary who urged Jesus to do something, but she didn’t quite understand.

in Luke 2—Simeon prophesied to Mary this about Jesus, her baby boy at the time:

Luke 2:34–35 NIV

34 Then Simeon blessed them and said to Mary, his mother: “This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, 35 so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too.”

that last phrase—I am sure a sword was piercing Mary’s soul as her son died, and she was confused.

most of the disciples at this point had run away from Jesus when he was arrested (except for the apostle John here) but Mary stuck near him (and these other women)

parents, how can you continue to love, support, help your children, even if they are adults and out of the house? even if you disagree with them and their lifestyle choices...

in fact, what might that look like?

certainly pray for them…you can always pray for them—even if you are not

contacting them…reaching out to them…breaking the ice with them...

but also about looking to Jesus as the Son.

3rd relationship: John’s relationship with Mary, and the women’s relationships with one another

look at these other women in John 19:25

John 19:25 NIV

25 Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene.

so Mary, Jesus’ mom, Jesus’ aunt (who may be the apostle John’s mom?), and then Mary the wife of Clopas and Mary Magdalene. we don’t know a lot about these women.

we know from Luke 8:2

Luke 8:2 NIV

2 and also some women who had been cured of evil spirits and diseases: Mary (called Magdalene) from whom seven demons had come out;

John 19:26–27 NIV

26 When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman, here is your son,” 27 and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.

look at John’s relationship with Mary. Mary was not her biological mother, nor was John, Mary’s biological mother. and yet since they are both attached to Jesus Christ, they are family.

this passage teaches us what true family is.

and that, yes our genetic family is still important, our biological family is important—as parents, children...

but we part of a bigger family.

if Jesus is your Lord and Savior—He is your king—then you have lots of brothers and sisters in Christ.

we see this here—because Mary and John—not biologically related—Jesus said here is your mother, John, and here is your son, Mary.

as part of the family of God, you have a deeper set of relationships—the blood of Christ!

i know that family life is complicated. we know this in our biological families!! it is not always easy to get along;

but if you follow Christ, one of the things you gain is a new family. so if you family is complicated one of the beautiful things we get is a new family united by the blood of Christ!

and yes, I know that a church family—being a part of that is complicated too—but we have the incredible resources with Jesus at our head to love one another, encourage one another, support one another, pray for one another, take care of one another.

Jesus said it like this: Mark 10:29-31

Mark 10:29–31 NIV

29 “Truly I tell you,” Jesus replied, “no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel 30 will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age: homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields—along with persecutions—and in the age to come eternal life. 31 But many who are first will be last, and the last first.”

Jamie and I have experienced this. We have lived in a few different places—and every place we have moved—every city or town we move into—if we are part of a church family—we instantly a huge network of brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, moms and dads, in Christ who help us, take care of us, are there for us, and we can be there for them, too.

do you have that spiritual family and connection...

the last relationship we see—is everyone’s relationship with Jesus.

they are all near the cross because of Jesus

and all have had to come to grips with who Jesus is.

even Mary—though she was often confused about who Jesus was…eventually she understand that Jesus Christ is the Messiah, the Savior.

that Jesus is more than her son.

Luke 1:32-34 - the angel said to Mary

Luke 1:32–34 NIV

32 He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, 33 and he will reign over Jacob’s descendants forever; his kingdom will never end.” 34 “How will this be,” Mary asked the angel, “since I am a virgin?”

Mary, even though she was Jesus’ mom had to realize that Jesus was her Savior and Lord?

that Jesus was her Savior?

Mary Magdalene saw the power of Jesus as he cast our 7 demons from her...

these other Mary’s experienced Jesus power...

and I love how John describes himself...

John 19:26–27 NIV

26 When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman, here is your son,” 27 and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.

the disciple whom Jesus loved...

that’s often how John describes himself. i used to think that he was bragging “I’m the disciple that Jesus loves…nana nana boo-boo.”

no—I don’t think that.

instead of saying his name—John is telling us his primary identity. he is identified by the love of Jesus. The thing that matters the most in his life—is that Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so...

and as Jesus hung on the cross—giving his last words—Jesus was demonstrating the incredible love for us. Romans 5:8—Mike Smith’s favorite verse—aka Radar’s favorite verse---from Brianna’s Hope...

Romans 5:8 NIV

8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

and Christ was uttering words that demonstrated his love for us

“forgive us...”

“today you will be with me in paradise...”

“mother, here is your son. son, your mother..”

when you know how much God loves you through Christ, when you have trust in Jesus to forgive you of your sins and have a relationship with God…that will enable all the other relationships we talked about.

that will enable you to truly honor your parents. even if your parents are the worst parents in the world—your identity is not in what your parents think of you or how they treated you or failed to do so—but Jesus loves you.

it will enable you as parents to truly love your children—even the difficult ones while they are under your roof, and as they get older.

and even though we as parents long to see our kids reflect us in a positive way—right? why is it when my kids do well at school, or in a competition, I feel pride? they are reflecting me?

even if they do not reflect me, and make poor choices…I am freed from that being my identity because Jesus loves me and I can truly parent them.

and if you know the love of Jesus—that frees you to love others in the church well.

loving your church family is complicated. we have massive expectations from our church family, and let’s face it, we constantly let each other down. but when you experience the love of Jesus—that frees you to truly love your church family warts and all and let them love you.

response…what is God calling you to do today?

parents...

children...

spiritual family...

do you know the massive love of Jesus....