What is going on?

Daniel 5:21 “He was also driven away from mankind, and his heart was made like that of animals, and his dwelling place was with the wild donkeys. He was given grass to eat like cattle, and his body was drenched with the dew of heaven, until he recognized that the Most High God is ruler over the realm of mankind, and that He sets over it whomever He wishes.”

Has anyone been so lost in your own mind that you see no way out?

Been so paralyzed with anxiety and/or depression that you cannot make the simplest of decisions?

Been so lost that you were OK if God took you?

I used to read about King Nebuchadnezzer and think “man I am glad that is not me becoming unbalanced. What must he feel like being brought so low.” I had to only wait for my 46th year to find out. In a 12 week period I made it to work only half the time. I ended in the ER 5 times. Convinced that I was dying, having a heart attack, my chest was pounding, I couldn’t breath. Terrified. Out of my mind. By the time I reached the ER the only solution was Lorazepam. The week of July 4th was probably the worse. While on “vacation” in Breckenridge I couldn’t function at all. The family, including in-laws, went out and about. I couldn’t make it out of the room. I would either be crying, shaking, or asleep from exhaustion with maybe 1 or 2 hours of clarity a day. By the end of the week Heather, Nathan, and I ended up in the Denver VA ER. This was early in the process of figuring out what was going on. It was also the point where the VA determined I had a chemical imbalance. Based on the experience of the week, the doctors figured out that I had been riding a panic wave all week long.

Today we are going to talk about:

Panic and depression

How to deal with it

How to help someone else deal with it

Triangles

Love as an action

Superheroes

Let’s pray

Our Lord, guide my words so that I speak only what You desire. Calm my spirit Lord, You alone know the depths that I fell and the emotion that comes back talking about this subject. The rawness of that time for my family, especially Heather, and me. Open our hearts so that we will hear, understand, and be motivated to love with action.

Amen

Is this relevant to me???

You might be thinking “this is not going to happen to me.” However, statistically you will have a panic attack or know someone that will. We are going to touch on not only ideas to help yourself but how you can help someone else.

Before we go any farther let me present some definitions so we are using the same terms. Keep in mind I am not a therapist, psychologists, or psychiatrist. My definitions are simple and not full of medical/therapist language (for any of those out there that are forgive me):

Definitions:

Stress: worried about everyday things. Am I going to make the deadline at work? Am I going to make it to my child's activity on time?

Anxiety: Builds on stress. I am not going to make the deadline, what is my boss going to do? I am going to miss the activity, what will my child think of me? This can last for a while.

Panic: your mind now decides it is going to take you on a wild ride physically and mentally. I’m a failure. I cannot do anything correctly. My boss is going to fire me. My child hates me. I can’t catch my breath, my chest hurts, I’m having a heart attack. Usually panic attacks last 20 to 30 minutes. The main difference between anxiety and panic is moving from a possibility/questions to certain/foregone conclusion that it is going to happen

A side effect are some superpowers. One can manipulate time. Things will slow down or speed up. For example: The family was at the top of Hancock Tower, in Boston, on the observation deck. A panic attack set in. By the time we got in the elevator and down to the first floor I was in full panic. My son goes through the revolving door. Its been a while since he went through one. So being a kid he does not exit and just goes around. Now I am standing in front of the revolving door trying to get in, stutter stepping. What I see is a door moving as fast as a blender, with my son inside going around yelling Yippee!!!!!! I eventually gave up after what I thought was about a minute and went to a normal door.

Panic disorder: multiple panic attacks.

You are not alone...

Studies show that that each year 1 in 10 American adults have at least one panic attack and 1/3 American adults have one in their lifetime. So there is probably more than one person in this group that experienced a panic attack, or knows someone that had a panic attack. Panic disorder affects 2-3% of all adult Americans. Good news and bad news for everyone here… I am one of those. But that means there are probably 2 or 3 more in this room.

Anxiety and panic treatments are virtually identical. Panic is just one of many subsets of anxiety. So I am using panic to mean both for the remainder of the discussion. Mostly because I am the one talking and I can do things like that.

Knowing that lots of people have panic attacks, does it give you comfort?

Why do you think we don’t talk about it?

The Bible teaches that life is not to be done solo. Adam and Eve, David and Jonathan, Moses and Aaron, Naomi and Ruth, Paul and Timothy. There is no one verse I can point that clearly says do not do life alone. But the concept is throughout all of scripture. Think of the Formula 1 racing. Sorry that is the one sport I do not miss a single telecast. The other sports are just to fill in weekends when there are no races. For those that are curious it is the champain version of NASCAR. The drivers are not out there by themselves. They have a whole team working with them. The same applies in life. You need a person/team. One, or more, that knows you and can tell something is “off” just by looking at or hearing you. A person with permission to call attention when you are too wrapped up to see for yourself.

Triangle

Just like a F1 team needs a Team Prinicple, we need one. The Team Prinicple is God. God, others, and ourselves form a perfect triangle. Think of them as the corners of an equal sided triangle. The top corner is spiritual, loving God. One corner is external, loving others. The third corner is internal, loving yourself. We must keep all the sides equal. So how does this work?

Matthew 22:37–39 “And He said to him, “ ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’”

Jesus tells us three things in these verses. The love used here is ἀγαπάω (agapaō). ἀγαπάω is a love causing action. This is different than ἀγάπη (agape) which is love with no action. To love, with action, God, we must love, with action, others. To love, with action, others, we must love, with action, ourselves. To love, with action, ourselves, we must love, with action, God. If any one side is greater than the others, then the TWO remaining aspects are off.

Love with action requires loving ourselves. We need to understand there is a difference between self love and loving yourself. Self love is bad, that is focusing love with action inward. Self love is seeking how do I get the best for me. Loving ourselves is good. It means accepting how God made us. Accepting how God made others. This requires looking at others as God looks at them: made in His imagine, for His exact purpose, and say how do I love with action you.

I am not suggesting that I live life all the time with my triangle in balance. In fact, on any given day, I am probably out of balance in some way. My hope is that at my promotion to glory, the triangle will reflect a life in balance. A life loving, with action, God, others, and myself.

Hebrews 12:1–2 “Therefore, since we also have such a great cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let’s rid ourselves of every obstacle and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let’s run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking only at Jesus, the originator and perfecter of the faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

How is your triangle?

How can focusing on one part of the Triangle be a bad thing? Can spending too much time on God be bad? Can spending too much time on others be bad?

How does love with action and mental health go together?

So, you are probably now wondering what does all this have to do with mental health? A person’s mind must be in balance to ἀγαπάω (love with action). When one is full anxiety/panic/depression action is not possible.

I remember one weekend, at the start of the manifestation, when I was to be a leader at one of Covenet Men’s meeting. Heather was gone so it was just Katelyn , Nathan, and myself. I got out of bed, dressed, determined to come. I made it as far as the sofa downstairs. Then the only thing I could think was “Is the door unlocked, just in case EMT has to come into the house. Is my phone close by in case I have to call 911? What will happen if I die and the kids need to deal with this.” In that moment I could not love with action others. I could not come to the fellowship of believers. I did not love with action my children. They had to “fend” for themselves and take care of me. I definitely did not love with action my wife who was gone on a weekend with a friend that lived in CA. Instead of having a relaxing time she was at a minimum stressed and probably anxious about what was happening back at home.

So it is important to take care of yourself mentally. That way you can ἀγαπάω (love with action) others.

Every time I hit panic attacks the side of my triangle stretched. I was the focus. Panic causes changes to your body. Your body is triggering the fight or flight response we all have. When we are in that mode love with action is the last thing on your mind. Your instincts are in play. The only way to combat, non-medical causes, panic is by retraining your instincts. Takes a lot of time and is full of as many set backs as progress. The only difference between medical and non-medcial panic treatment is the introduction of medication to help.

Brain 2.0

What are some things you can do to retrain your mind?

We need to hold fast to the promises found in God’s Word.

We need to pray.

We need other’s to help.

Another triangle....

Knowing scripture is a great defense against panic. It renews ones mind. These are scriptures I use when I struggle.

Isaiah 26:3 ““The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, Because he trusts in You.”

Philippians 4:6–7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and pleading with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”

Hebrews 13:5–6 “Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever abandon you,” so that we confidently say, “The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What will man do to me?””

1 Peter 5:6–7 “Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, so that He may exalt you at the proper time, having cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares about you.”

Pray is just as important. Talking to God is vital. Asking God to show you what is causing the panic is important. There is no magical formula to pray. Talk to God as the loving creator of the universe. The pray may only be “God, HELP” while in the moment. That is OK.

You need someone else you can call day or night. I have a friend that knows he can call me whenever. He does. You don’t need to know what to do. When he calls me I take time to figure out when he is (did it just start, is he in the middle, or is he towards the end). I do not launch into a “Lord take this burden off my friend for You are the great healer” type prayer. Unless he asks. Take the time to figure out what they need, not how you want to help. I use humor to lighten the circumstances. Saying goofing things like “You know you don’t have to have a panic attack to call and breath heavily into my ear. You can do that anytime.” But that takes knowing the person on an intimate level.

The very worse thing to do is start telling them you need to turn it over to God. In my mind, that is the Christian version of what is the least action I can take to get away because I am uncomfortable. Chances are that if they are Christians they already now that and all you did is just validate what the panic is already telling them. They are a failure.

With the upcoming Men’s retreat I am reminded of two people who helped me through a panic attack. Josh just finished teaching. We broke into small group discussions. About half way through I started climbing up the panic attack ladder. In God’s timing, Josh (a retired cop and US Marine) joined my group and sat across me in the circle. Once I figured out I was losing the battle, a got Josh’s attention. Wordlessly I communicated he needed to take over. He saw what was happening. He left the group immediately, because the group was discussing something (that to this day I have no idea what) no one noticed him leaving and coming back. Steve came and collected me to take me outside. We just stood there staring up at the stars. I collected myself and went back to join the group. No one noticed anything, while I thought there is no way this just went unnoticed. They assumed that Steve needed help with something related to the retreat. That only worked becasue those two knew me more than just at a surface level.

That is all well and good but I need help now!!!!

When one finds yourself, or you come across someone, in the midst of a panic attack slow down their breathing. Say the Lord’s prayer as you breathe in and out and start over again. Have them keep repeating unitl they are coming down. The Lord’s Prayer is get.

Matthew 6:9–12 ““Pray, then, in this way: ‘Our Father, who is in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. ‘Your kingdom come. Your will be done, On earth as it is in heaven. ‘Give us this day our daily bread. ‘And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”

If you do it right you will start calming after the first round. If you do it wrong and hyper ventilate you will pass out, but the panic attack is over either way.

Deep breathing has a significant effect in the moment of a panic attack. Lots of medical brain chemical stuff that works magic. You are praying and at the same time providing the benefits of deep breathing. When the moment is gone, and the time is right, talk about what happened with your friend. Find the cause and deal with the cause. Be prepared that the person might not know. You might need therapy and that is ok. I’ve come to realize, after talking to people, that more of us should have at least one annual therapy tune up. If you don’t think that then you are not really listening to some of the things people say. You might, as in my case, need medication to help manage panic and depression.

Why is it difficult to admit one needs therapy?

Is it bad to seek medical help for mental concerns? Why do Christians struggle with seeking help for mental problems but not for broken bones?

Superheroes

A word about the people having to deal with us. We must remember that others are impacted by our panic attacks. People who care for and love us go through the experience with us. However they have no easy medication path to recover. The focus becomes helping the person with panic. The superheros are left to their own devices.

Heather is my superhero. The first two years struggling with my panic attack was awful more so for her. Where I would have medication that brought me down to reality, and sometimes a little farther than relaity, she would be left at the top getting down herself. I cannot really talk about the help superheros need, other than just to say don’t forget them. They are struggling with a person’s panic/depression in a different way. They need to be told over and over they did not cause the panic/depression.

Depression

Panic and depression can go hand in hand. They can also be independent. When combined with panic, depression is the emotional feeling that you are less than because of panic. Need to go back to the triangle… is your triangle out of balance? I bet it is. Do you realize that depression is no different then pride. You are still focused on yourself, just in a negative manner. Another thing those with depression can beat themself up about later.

Generally, we are talking non-medical reasons, depression comes from not understanding how God sees you.

Psalm 42:5–6 “Why are you in despair, my soul? And why are you restless within me? Wait for God, for I will again praise Him For the help of His presence, my God. My soul is in despair within me; Therefore I remember You from the land of the Jordan And the peaks of Hermon, from Mount Mizar.”

For me this is a difficult concept to grasp. Intellectually I understand the concepts; being able to live them out is the challenge. Through medication I am at the point where I do not always look down on myself. There are times when I do not think I am worthy of anything. But I hold on to the truth of the Bible, hoping and praying that the idea becomes reality for me one day. On average when this happens it lasts a day or two.

What are somethings that cause you depression?

God’s view of you and others

God breathed His self into you at birth.

Genesis 2:7 “Then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and the man became a living person.”

At the time of your birth God breathed into you. Think about that a moment. If you are a germaphobe don’t think too hard or long though. How incredible that the creator of all you see, took time to breath life into you.

Psalm 139:13 “For You created my innermost parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb.”

He put you together at the most basic level. There is nothing about you that God does not already know. Does God know my chemical imbalance? Sure does. Do I know why God created me this way? Sure don’t. Does it bug me? Sure does. Will me understanding change anything? Sure wont. I will have ups and downs regarding these questions until I am promoted to glory.

Genesis 1:27 “So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”

God created you based on Himself. God said I want a relationship with one of my creations. So I’ll make them like me. I don’t get how that works based on how diverse we all are but wicked cool.

These are just some of the verses that should help you understand how important and valuable you are. The creator of everything knows how you will look and the actions you will take. While the world says look at the size of the earth compared to the universe, we are insignificant. We should counter with look at the size of the earth compared to the universe, how incredible that the God who made all this knows me and calls me His child!

We need to be surrounded by people who see us as God does. Those are friends with which we need to cling. The world is going to beat you up and spit you out, then it is going to start jumping up and down on you. Be strong for yourself and others.

Romans 15:1–3 “Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength, and not just please ourselves. Each of us is to please his neighbor for his good, to his edification. For even Christ did not please Himself, but as it is written: “The taunts of those who taunt You have fallen on me.””

Once again, revisit the triangle. Unless we properly understand how God sees us, we cannot ἀγαπάω.

I know this is a heavy subject but it is important. Panic/Depression impacts more people than we think. If we do not start the conversation people are going to struggle on their own for no reason. I hope that you now believe the importance of ἀγαπάω. That you will do regular “triangle” checks. That you will look for those to ἀγαπάω and not worry about I do not know what to do. Just be there, that sometimes is all ἀγαπάω requires.

1 Thessalonians 5:23–24 “Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be kept complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will do it.”