EVERYONE NEEDS A NICK

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Everyone needs a nick

Well, he was born in March of 1985 to Chris and Charlene Swan. The middle of 3 siblings, and the only boy, Nick always had sought a life of adventure growing up. As he grew older, he would go on to soon faithfully serve his country in the US Army where he would serve 6 years with heroism and dedication. Nick would go on to have a family of his own, while in the the military, he would meet his wife Steph. They would go on to marry after he came home from being deployed in Iraq. they would have children settle down in Northeast New Hampshire and nick would begin to serve as a manager at an electrical supply store.

Nick enjoys time with family and friends, he loves a good bonfire, hanging out at the beach and lighting off fireworks from time to time and investing in the lives of students, what’s most impressive is his personality. You see, Nick went on to give his heart to the Lord in 2015. After having a dream one night, Nick realized that God asking him to surrender his life to the Lord. In time, Nick would go on to develop his love for the Lord, he would begin attending Crown Collegewhere he would pursue a degree in Christian Ministry, he would go on to start serving as a volunteer at Journey Church in Conway New Hampshire, where he was impactful in the lives of youth and the families that attended the church.

This morning, to you, Nick is a stranger. Other then the details that I’ve briefly shared with you, no one here this morning (other than my family) knows Nick Swan. This picture (show here) is the first picture you’ve ever seen of Nick, his background is new to you, his story is new to you and yet, he’s been significantly impactful in my life.

Nick has been there when my lights wouldn’t turn on in my house and I needed help fixing the problem. Nick has been there when my on demand water heater stopped working and he saved me hundreds of dollars by fixing the issue, nick has helped me move stuff to the local dump when just before moving I had quite a bit of random things that had to be thrown away, nick has been there when I ran out fuel for the generator and he let me borrow fuel and heaters to keep my family warm from the new England cold, nick has been there as my right hand guy at youth group through leading games, teaching lessons and covering for me when I was absent. And perhaps less important by effort, but equally important by impact, nick has been there for me in conversation. He’s the type of guy that you can trust, that you can call at anytime of the night, that is there when you need him… Nick is a friend, but really so much more.

If asked about during a phone interview for a job hire, I wouldn’t be able to explain his strengths and quality of character in just a few minutes. And for the sake of your time this morning, I’ll limit my time of talking about him now… but friends, his impact, nonetheless has been indiscernible. He’s the type of person that I would do anything for. Our relationship is mutual, he has my back and I have his. And although I never had a brother by blood, Nick would be the closest thing.

Here's my point this morning. Everyone… needs a Nick. And listen, you need to be a nick to someone else.

If you have your bibles with you this morning, turn with me for a moment to 1 Samuel 18. And as you’re turning there. We’re going to primarily look at someone in scripture that you are familiar with. We’re primarily going to look at the story of David and Jonathan and see how this type of godly friendship is what the Lord has in store for us this morning.

You see Moses had Aaron, Joshua had Caleb, Naomi had Ruth, David had Jonathan, Jesus had Peter, James and John. And this morning friend… you need a nick.

Perhaps another title would be that Everyone needs a friend. By the way, Next week, we’ll see - everyone needs a mentor. Key people that God puts in our lives!

If you have your bibles turn with me to 1 Samuel 18, and as you’re turning there, there are 3 sermon points we’ll uncover together this morning.

1. A Nick Is a friend. 2. Someone you can rely on (dependable / trust) 3. Grieves with you. (By the way this started as 5 points, and really it could be that and more… but I felt like these 3 were the ones I needed to cover today.)

As you’re turning to 1 Samuel 18, I want to unpack the events which surround our story this morning.

For the sake of this message, there are 2 main characters. One of course is David, who you’ll recall was the youngest of his 7 brothers, who was a shepherd, a warrior, as we recall from David and Goliath, and ultimately God has chosen him to be the next king, as David is a man after God’s own heart.

The 2nd character by the name of Jonathan. Jonathan, you’ll remember was the oldest son of King Saul, naturally as the oldest son, he’s the rightful heir to the throne. Like David, we’re told that Jonathan is strong, he’s a determined warrior who’s victorious on the battlefield. But he doesn’t use his strength or status as the king’s son to Lord it over David, instead he’s a friend and comrade to David.

Point 1. A nick is a friend

If you’re not there already, if you could turn with me to 1 Samuel 18. 1 When David had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan became one with the soul of David. Jonathan loved him as himself. 2 Saul took David that day, and would not let him return to his father’s house. 3 Then Jonathan made an agreement with David, because he loved him as himself. 4 Jonathan took off his long coat and gave it to David. He gave him his battle-clothes, his sword, his bow and his belt also. 5 David went everywhere that Saul sent him, and did well. Saul had him lead the men of war. And it was pleasing to all the people and to Saul’s servants.

6 When David returned from killing the Philistine, the women came out of all the cities of Israel, singing and dancing, to meet King Saul, playing songs of joy on timbrels. 7 The women sang as they played, and said, “Saul has killed his thousands, and David his ten thousands.” 8 Then Saul became very angry. This saying did not please him. He said, “They have given David honor for ten thousands, but for me only thousands. Now what more can he have but to be king?” 9 And Saul was jealous and did not trust David from that day on.

We realize for a moment that David has great success on the battlefield. That from slaying the philistines that he’s fighting against, to his reputation and fame with outsiders… David begins to gain momentum with everyone. By the way, this shouldn’t surprise us this morning as 1 Samuel 18:14 tells us: “In everything he did he had great success, because the LORD was with him.” And yet, despite this success. There’s a problem… as King Saul feels threatened. Now ultimately, we know this is of the Lord, and that David would go on to be the next king… but here in these pages, we start to see tension as King Saul begins to feel the effects of David’s success,

Yet notice in these moments, that Jonathan is there as a friend to David. The bible told us in verse 3 and 4 That 3 Then Jonathan made an agreement with David, because he loved him as himself.

Interestingly enough, the name Jonathan by definition means, “God has gifted". And in verse 4 we’re told: “4 Jonathan took off his long coat and gave it to David. He gave him his battle-clothes, his sword, his bow and his belt also.”

But what God gifted David with was far more than, a coat, battle-clothes and weapons… Listen, God gave David a friend, who was on the similar mission; on the same team.

You see these 2 have similar personalities, similar interest, a love for one another, and a love for the Lord.

I wonder this morning, who are those in your life that God has gifted you with? Who are those in your life that are sacrificial to you? Who has God has placed in your path that are on a similar mission, that if needed, would give you the shirt off their back? You see, here’s the distinction… there are many friends, that we have in this life, but how many are on the same mission.

You see, along these lines we start to talk of the value of shared Community, and to give an example, I’ve had the privilege of attending and even helping with my kid’s little league baseball and softball.

But to illustrate, I think of my daughter Taylor this morning…. You see, it’s one thing to say that you go to Kenton elementary school, this establishes a sense of community, but another is to say that you play softball for Kenton Little League, and still a deeper level of connection when you say that you go to Kenton elementary, that you play softball and you’re on the same team; the wildcats…

It works the same way with us this morning. Show of hand’s if you love the United States this morning… Keep your hands up if love the mid-west… Now, this is where it gets fun, keep your hands up if you love the state of Michigan. How about the Michigan wolvers?

Okay, we lost some on that one… How bout hands for those that love Ohio? How about those that love the buckeyes?

You see, here’s the point… the more we have in common, there is this tighter sense of community. In the case of Jonathan and David, we see that not only are they Israelites, not only are they fighting for the army, they’re also similar in age, they’re also family, and they’re also on the same team…

Friend, who is your Jonathan this morning? Who is your nick? Who is that person that God has brought you together with for a shared sense of purpose?

I’m reminded of Mark 10:9 is speaking of a relationship between a man and women… and it states: “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” and as I love my wife, and God brought us together with a shared loved and purpose… and while this is true, God also puts other Christians in our lives, that he desires us to have as friends, because ultimately we need them. And there’s a number of reasons for such friendships, but ultimately, we need them. I’m reminded of Ecclesiastes 4:12 that states: Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Friends, we need people like this in our lives, we need friends. Friends, do you have a person like that this morning? We need them in our lives. And if not, are we praying for someone like that today?

2. A Nick is someone you can rely on.

In 1 Samuel 19 we see Saul is determined to Kill David. That Saul’s emotions and jealousy have gotten the best of him, and he goes out of his way to pursue David. Ch. 20, Continues 20 Then David fled from Naioth at Ramah and went to Jonathan and asked, “What have I done? What is my crime? How have I wronged your father, that he is trying to kill me?” 2 “Never!” Jonathan replied. “You are not going to die! Look, my father doesn’t do anything, great or small, without letting me know. Why would he hide this from me? It isn’t so!”

3 But David took an oath and said, “Your father knows very well that I have found favor in your eyes, and he has said to himself, ‘Jonathan must not know this, or he will be grieved.’ Yet as surely as the Lord lives and as you live, there is only a step between me and death.” 4 Jonathan said to David, “Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do for you.”

You see, Saul is determined to Kill David. But listen… Jonathan had David’s back you see in verse 4 we’re told. Jonathan explains: “Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do for you.” You see Jonathan knew that despite his birth right as the oldest in the family, that ultimately it was David who was supposed to be king. And we see this sense of loyalty and commitment from Jonathan to David, where ultimately Jonathan has his back.

You see these 2 had a covenant established between them and Jonathan would go on to warn David of his Father’s intentions to ultimately kill him… Which we won’t read now but I would encourage you to read up on your own… but here’s the point, David could trust Jonathan, David could depend on Jonathan and Jonathan had David’s back.

You see, I came across an article earlier this week regarding friends on Facebook. Can I tell you, and some of you I’m sure have many more… but I have 650 friends on Facebook supposedly, and yet few of them I even talk to. This article explains:

Are your friends on Facebook actually your friends? According to an appeals court in Florida, "[l]legally, Facebook friends aren't necessarily your friends."

The court dove into this question because of a judge who may have been required to recuse herself from a case—because an attorney involved in that case was friends with the judge on Facebook. However, the court ruled that a recusal was not necessary, as "Facebook data mining and algorithms lead to people accepting friend requests from people they hardly know or who they are only acquainted with in professional circles."

This issue isn't quite finished yet, though, as a Palm Beach appeals court ruled differently on the "friend" definition—meaning "the question over the true meaning of social media friendship could eventually be decided by the Florida Supreme Court."

You see, you may have 1,000 friends on Facebook… but how many friends would say, whatever you want me to do, I’ll do for you? How many friends do you have that you could call at any given moment and they would be there for you? How many friends would give you the shirt of their back? Church, these are the types of relationships that Christ desires for us on a daily basis.

There’s a saying that says “when the going get’s tough, the tough get going…” But I would say, when the going get’s tough… the friend is right there. This friend has that persons back. And this is the type of person in the trenches with you, that you can rely on!

You see friends, Proverbs 17:17 tells us: A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. Friends, life is difficult… Church, I would ask do you have people like this in your life? People that are praying for you and that are lifting you up to our Father on a daily basis? We need them.

3. Grieves with you. (Emotionally)

Later in chapter 20, we see that Jonathan has more on the line then just his material possessions… you see his loyalty to David has potentially cost him relationship with his father Saul. We’re told that: 30 Saul’s anger flared up at Jonathan and he said to him, “You son of a perverse and rebellious woman! Don’t I know that you have sided with the son of Jesse to your own shame and to the shame of the mother who bore you? 31 As long as the son of Jesse lives on this earth, neither you nor your kingdom will be established. Now send someone to bring him to me, for he must die!”

32“Why should he be put to death? What has he done?” Jonathan asked his father. 33 But Saul hurled his spear at him to kill him. Then Jonathan knew that his father intended to kill David (can you imagine that? Your own father trying to kill you?) 34 Jonathan got up from the table in fierce anger; on that second day of the feast he did not eat, because he was grieved at his father’s shameful treatment of David.

35 In the morning Jonathan went out to the field for his meeting with David. He had a small boy with him, 36 and he said to the boy, “Run and find the arrows I shoot.” As the boy ran, he shot an arrow beyond him. 37 When the boy came to the place where Jonathan’s arrow had fallen, Jonathan called out after him, “Isn’t the arrow beyond you?” 38 Then he shouted, “Hurry! Go quickly! Don’t stop!” The boy picked up the arrow and returned to his master. 39 (The boy knew nothing about all this; only Jonathan and David knew.) 40 Then Jonathan gave his weapons to the boy and said, “Go, carry them back to town.”

41 After the boy had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together—but David wept the most. 42 Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.’” Then David left, and Jonathan went back to the town.[b]

I want us to turn our attention for the last few moments this morning is to verses 41 and 42. We understand that when Jonathan shot the arrow beyond the boy, this was a key moment in their friendship. You see, Ultimately, this was a key moment in David’s life. As David be unwelcomed back to the palace ultimately have to spend an uncertain amount of time, living really as a fugitive until Saul gave up the hunt for David.

And what I want us to see is that when one hurt, the other one hurt. You see ultimately aside from 1 Samuel 23:16 which indicates: And Saul’s son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God. Aside from this time… this would be the last time that David and Jonathan would be together… their relationship was about to change in a big way. Going back to verse 41 for a moment, we were told.

You see, in these moments I can help but think of a movie like apollo 13, or another good movie with an ending. Movies, where the main characters have been so committed to mission at hand… and yet, now in these moments, they say their final goodbyes.

And yet friends, though it seemed like the script was over. God wasn’t done with David’s life. God was about to secure David as King. Moreso, if you trace back the lineage of Jesus, both on Mary’s side and on Joseph’s side, you’ll recall that David was in the family tree on both sides both with Mary and Joseph to Jesus, great, great, great Grandfather with roughly 1,000 years between the 2… but make no mistake about it, both as king, as a father, and as a friend, and most importantly as the ancestor to Jesus… David plays a key role, and God isn’t done with His life.

But ultimately, when we look at this story, we see that there is a true bond, which words seem to fail at describing, and it’s a mutual relationship that only God could bring together.

It’s funny, The New York Times recently featured an article exploring our current confusion about friendship. "Ask people to define friendship—even [experts who research friendship]—and you'll get an uncomfortable silence followed by "er" or "um."

"Friendship is difficult to describe," said Alexander Nehamas, a professor of philosophy at Princeton, who in his latest book, "On Friendship," spends almost 300 pages trying to do just that. "It's easier to say what friendship is not and, foremost, it is not instrumental." It is not a means to obtain higher status, wrangle an invitation to someone's vacation home, or simply escape your own boredom. Rather, Mr. Nehamas said, friendship is more like beauty or art, which … is "appreciated for its own sake."

Ronald Sharp, a professor who teaches a course on the literature of friendship added, "It's not about what someone can do for you, it's who and what the two of you become in each other's presence … The notion of doing nothing but spending time in each other's company has, in a way, become a lost art. People are so eager to maximize efficiency of relationships that they have lost touch with what it is to be a friend."

You see friends, I think so often, we don’t fully value what we had, until we lost it…

There are many of us this morning, who have had loved ones, whether family members or close friends, who have passed away… and sometimes, only in looking back… do we truly value what we had.

You see, I think in these moments… there was an element of uncertainty of what the future would hold for the two. David knew ultimately that the Lord had chosen him to be king… but in these moments, where would their relationship go? What would take place in between this moment, and the future.

Friend’s, do we have these sorts of relationships in our lives this morning?

I’m going to call Lisa forward at this time and she’s coming up, just want to read one last verse to us.

You see, I’m reminded of Proverbs 18:24 which tells us: One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Friends, I’m grateful this morning from my friendship to Nick. And I pray that you have a Nick of your own. But ultimately there is no comparison to our relationship with Christ.

So often, there are relationships in our lives, that we don’t truly value until it’s to late. And yet, the day Is not over… we still have today to consider our relationships with others and think of the type of friends that we have, and the type of friend that we are.

Want to challenge us with three things this morning.

1. Do you have a Nick? Do you have people in your life that you’re extremely close with? A best friend?

You see the night before Jesus was crucified, he would wash his disciples’ feet… and he would stress the importance of loving each other. He would say: 34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”Are we doing this in our own lives?

2. There are a lot of people hurting in this world. People that need a friend… are you making yourself available to the least of these? Are you going out of your way to be a nick to someone else?

3. Where is your relationship with Christ? You see, God puts important people, close friends in our path… but listen, ultimately, our relationship with Christ comes first.

Pray