Multiple Selves

Ephesians 4:17-32

Duck, Duck, Dylan

Dylan making duck sounds. Mix of emotions. Pride. Amusement. Annoyance. Anger. Fear… that I am going to end up tossing him out of the car. And the other kids are in the car, so Logan is now trying to toss him out of the car. Arabelle is frustrated because she can’t make the duck sound. But she’s trying and it sounds like she’s dry heaving.

And I would never beat my children. I would never slam on the brakes, spinning the car around in a circle, screaming like a banshee until they all close their face-holes. I would never do that.

But… I understand certain impulses, certain temptations, that just might lead someone to that point.

How do I, as a “Christian”, act more like Jesus and less like a terrible person?

Behavior Modification

We are going to talk about behavior modification. And there is a place for it in Christian life.

I want to carefully set the stage, and we will see these ideas come straight out of the text. I want to be careful because Christianity is actually famous for “behavior modification” in some negative ways.

Behavior modification is changing out actions to be more moral – i.e. more like Jesus.

Behavior modification is internally focused, inside ourselves and inside our church community.

If you are a non-believer here this morning, not sure about the whole Jesus thing, you are off the hook. This passage has nothing to say about getting all people in general to live slightly more moral lives. Sinners don’t need slightly less sin, they need freedom and forgiveness from sin through Jesus.

It speaks to the saint about living more like a saint. It speaks to the Jesus follower about looking and living more like Jesus. This is a call to holy living, but it only extends to those who have already been made holy in Jesus.

That said, to those of you who know Jesus, you are called, commanded in our text today, to live consistent with your new life in Jesus. Let’s read…

Multiple Selves

Ephesians 4:17-19

17 So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. 18 They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. 19 Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed.

The Gentile Self

Gentile means outsider – “not Israelite” and is used here in contrast to the believer. Separated from the life of God.

Lost all sensitivity. Like a leper that simply cannot feel anymore.

It is all about sensation. They have lost some sense, all “sensitivity” and so seek sensuality. Anything to feel something. To acquire sensation.

When we use words like impurity and “greed” this sounds bad. If we put it in more acceptable cultural language we might get something like

“I want to experience the world and all the pleasure, adventure and excitement it offers.”

“Live life to the fullest. Seize the day for tomorrow we die.”

If this life is all there is, if there is no after-life and after-light, separated from God because they believe there is no God, darkened in understanding because they believe there is nothing there to understand…

This way of life makes all the sense in the world. This is why we should not expect people who don’t believe in Jesus to try to live like Jesus; that is, to live according to our moral code. It is nice when they do, it makes it easier for us when they do… but we should not be surprised when they don’t. The most natural thing is for people apart from God to seek sensuality: find whatever pleasure they can out of life… because that is the best that they know.

HOWEVER….

The New Self

Ephesians 4:20-24

20 That, however, is not the way of life you learned 21 when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. 22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

Literally “when you learned Christ”.

When you “learned Christ” a change came about. You heard, you were taught, you believed, and you were “made new in the attitude of your minds.”

Literally, made new in the “spirit of your minds.” Or maybe “by the Spirit in your minds.”

You were made new. A new self, a new persona, a new way of thinking and living and being, created to be like God in righteousness and holiness. You were made new…

And then given this responsibility, to put off your old self and put on the new.

Living out the implications of the dramatic change that has occurred within. This creation of the new self is accomplished but the putting off of the old self and putting on of the new self is described as an ongoing process.

So you are not creating a new righteous self as you live. You have been recreated as a new righteous self and you choose to put that new self on, to live consistent with the new. Day by day by day.

Multiple Personality Syndrome?

So you have these two selves described here. One is the old self, the only self you had before encountering Jesus, and it is full of desires and temptations and thoughts… it is like it’s own whole person. It was the only you that was.

Then you encountered Jesus, you responded to His grace by faith, and this miracle took place: a new self created within you. This one is capable of true righteousness and holiness. A whole new mind, a new way of living. This is your re-created self, and it will be fully realized in Resurrection but you are commanded here to lean into, to live into and live out that new self.

Here is the hard time I have with this text:

I experience one self. That is, I have a continuous, unified experience of my own desires.

So the two distinct selves may be the spiritual reality, but I experience a muddled confusing entangled know of emotions and desires, attractions and ideas and temptations and ambitions. So I do both good and bad things, righteous and unrighteous, and I do both with mixed motives and intentions.

I hear Dylan quacking and I feel all the things: good, bad and ugly.

Paul is describing a spiritual reality… but I think it also a tremendously useful practical exercise. That we can take this idea of “two selves” as An exercise of imagination that echoes the spiritual reality.

As I proceed to maturity, I learn to recognize the desires within me and I sort them into their appropriate selves. And I practice living out the new self.

Your New Self

How does this break down in practical terms?

You learn about Jesus, what he taught, how he lived, and you build a picture of what true life looks life: true righteousness and holiness.

You are convicted of sinful and stupid behavior. Something not consistent with Christ-like living.

Here is where you have opportunity. You have the opportunity to go back into the patterns of shame and wretchedness… “I am a terrible person because I did this!” But that isn’t consistent with your new self either. Instead…

Identify the mix of emotions and temptations that led to the sinful or stupid action. Parse out old self vs. new self stuff. This is an imaginative exercise that reflects the inner reality.

Identify the reward. You wouldn’t be doing it if you weren’t getting something out of it. What is that reward? Pleasure? Satisfaction? Attention? What is that reward, and what is the ultimate version of it? Usually the pleasure or attention or satisfaction we get from sinful and stupid behavior is a pale reflection of true righteousness and holiness.

Righteousness is right relationship with God and others. This is love and attention and life abundant.

Holiness is being set apart for God’s special purpose. This is purpose and meaning and fulfillment.

Everything else is a pale substitute for abundant life that God creates for you and in you.

Choose a new behavior to replace the sinful or stupid behavior. One that is consistent with your new self: your Christ-like self in true righteousness and holiness. You can get help from your church community: ideas and accountability.

Put on the new self.

Dylan Duck Example

Practical. When Dylan is endlessly making a duck sound. The rage-desire to shove him out of the car, that is old-self. The anger may be fine, if I don’t sin in it. The result I want, the reward is peace and quiet. The new-self behavior might be a quick breath-prayer (God give me patience and inner peace) and a calm explanation to Dylan that he may quack 3 more times and then he is done. And if he quacks 4 times he will get a cute little duct tape sticker across his face.

That is a stupid example.

Hurt by a friend example

When someone I love has hurt me, a friend or family member. There is that within me that just wants to strike back, and the closer you are with someone, the more ammunition you have. I know what will really hurt my closest friends, my wife, my siblings… The old self wants to lash out in revenge, in bitterness, in retaliation. And I would get a kind of satisfaction out of that, a kind of justice… but what a hollow justice. An empty victory.

The new self forgives and forgives and forgives and seeks reconciliation. Because what do I really want? In every relationship what I really want is healing and reconciliation. I want love. That is righteousness. And so, whatever it takes to take off the old self with its anger and bitterness and rage and record of wrongs and all of that. Literally imagine this. I go get changed. I take off that self.

I put on the new. Now I am clothed in forgiveness. In patience. I still have the anger, but I am not going to sin in my anger. I can be mad, that’s just honest. I can be hurt and I can even share that anger and hurt with the one who hurt me at the right time. But my new-self, Christ-like Dusty will never use that anger and hurt as a weapon.

You are consciously replacing old habits with new habits. New-self habits replace old-self habits.

I’m not perfect and I don’t do this perfectly. You’re not perfect and you don’t do this perfectly. But we walk, step by step, learning to live as the new self that God has created within us.

How to Recognize the New Self – A Case Study

What follows in Ephesians 4 is like Case Studies in how to recognize the new self. More practical examples.

Not new rules. These are commands, but they are descriptive commands, examples of the new self. We will see how quickly they breakdown into silliness if we attempt to pull them out of their context and apply them as if they were new “Laws For the Christian”.

They give us pictures, snapshots, of how to discern the old and busted self from the new hotness self.

Ephesians 4:25-32

25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.

Truthfulness is fundamental to life in community. A few verses up we saw this, speaking the truth in love. This impulse is certainly characteristic of the new self and lies to the old self. Easy. The next one gets trickier.

26 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold.

I grew up trying to apply this literally, but we can see how it gets silly. The sun goes down today at 5:08 pm. What if someone punches me in the nose at 5:07? If I am still angry when the sun sets the devil gets to step on me!

No! It normalizes our anger. Yes, get angry, you will get angry, even the new self gets angry. But you don’t hold on to it and nurture it, you don’t let it fester day after day. You don’t let it drive you to sin, you seek forgiveness and reconciliation. That’s how the new self handles anger.

28 Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.

I work in IT. Sometimes I use my hands to type. But sometimes I stand behind Jep at work and tell him what to type. On those days, I am clearly sinning because I am not working with my hands!

Silly rule… but a clear description, an example of how the new self lives and thinks. The old self may be the seat of laziness, get what you can while you can in the easiest way you can. In contrast, the new self exerts itself, works hard, and not just for the enjoyment of working hard or reaping the benefits, but to be able to have enough to help those who need it.

Old lazy greedy self. New hard-working generous self.

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

“Unwholesome talk”. I heard this as a code for cursing growing up. Don’t say the “naughty” words.

This is not a reference to an arbitrary list of naughty words that change over time but speaks directly to the effect of your words.

Do your words tear others down or build them up? Do you use your words to manipulate others to get the better of them or to help them grow as best you can? Is the room better off because you opened your face?

30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

This is tightly linked to the preceding verse. The Holy Spirit throughout Ephesians is the Spirit of Unity. The One Spirit, binding the body together, and the Spirit of God is especially wounded or “grieved” when we tear one another down with our words.

31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

These are clear signs of the old self: bitterness, rage, anger, brawling, slander and malice. It isn’t that you won’t ever feel these things, it is that they belong to the old self. So you can, divine imagination, put them in that category.

And take off the old self. You feel the things, you have the temptations, you have the desires, you have the impulses. But you take off that self. Put it back in the closet. Better yet, mix your metaphors, nail it to the cross.

But when you identify things of new self: kindness, compassion, forgiveness in the model of Christ’s forgiveness. That you embrace. That you put on. You nurture and encourage that within yourself.

We – the New Selves

We, in the community help one another to do this.

And our community is then built and shaped because we are all doing this. Our habits change, and that feeds into our love for one another, our unity, and it makes greater love and community possible among us. Because we are actively and effectively dealing with behaviors that would divide us: unbridled anger, destructive language, malice and slander. And there is more to come.

We walk in the way of love and help one another to walk in the way of love.

So, let’s literally do this together. If you have an area of old self you are struggling with, bring it to a wise brother or sister here, in this room. We won’t be shocked and surprised… because we are sinners too.

If you are stuck, get help. This is a room full of people committed to doing exactly this: following Christ together and living together as His body. This is and has been our covenant together.

Final Summary – Walk in the Way of Love

Ephesians 5:1-2

1 Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children 2 and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.