Frenemies (2)

James 4:1-6

Big idea: The pleasure-seeking life creates conflict within us and among us, it cripples our prayer life, and betrays our jealous God.

Seek first the Kingdom of God... and all these things will be given to you as well.

Desire Gone Wild

Here is a savage selfish beast. It cares about nothing but its own desires. It feeds upon its host without mercy or compassion. It shrieks and screams at the slightest need. It its time it dominates and controls families, houses, the schedule, turning day and night itself around.

The Beast. The Baby.

The baby is a creature of desire. It knows and responds to warmth and cold, hunger and thirst, sleepiness and stinkiness. The Baby cries out until its desires are met, and then it is on to the next desire. The baby is a creature of desire.

We are creatures of desire. We get a little more sophisticated as we get older. We may even get a little less selfish. But we are still creatures of desire.

I want foot, I want water. I desire shade on a hot day, or working air conditioning as I drive home when it's in the 90s. We desire comfort. We desire recreation. We desire good company, laughter, joy. We desire purpose to form and give meaning to our lives and actions.

Now these things are natural, that is part of how we are created. Yet desire is something that is easily and always twisted within us. It grows all out of proportion and it reaches in the wrong direction.

Two types of wisdom.

This week we are picking up our series in James. It has been a while.

Throughout James, we have picked up this theme: Kingdom teaching requires Kingdom living which requires Kingdom loving.

The repeated word there is Kingdom. All the way back, James is calling us to Kingdom life, and to whole hearted, whole-minded Kingdom life. James says that the Kingdom life absolutely has to be reflected in our actions. There is no such thing as faith that does not break out in action.

Through chapter three, this is clearly illustrated in the tongue. The tongue has immense power for good or evil, and we reveal whether we have Kingdom or godly wisdom or earthly wisdom.

In the church and in the lives of believers we must seek divine wisdom that is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Earthly wisdom is marked with self-centered envy and selfish ambition that creates conflict in human relationships.

Our peace with others demonstrates our godly wisdom.

But there are two types of wisdom, there are two Kingdoms. There is that which competes in teaching, competes in life, offers its own brand of life.

Today, in James 4, James turns his attention to this other Kingdom, the world and the compromises we make with it.

James 4:1-6

What causes fights and quarrels among you?

Good question. What does cause fights and quarrels among us? James has already addressed some of the favoritism among them, he knows there is in-fighting. This is common in groups of people everywhere, it is common in churches, so what causes it?

Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? 2 You desire but do not have, so you kill.

That escalated quickly. That guy has pumpkin pie, I don't... KILL HIM! Now I have pie. Wow.

You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight.

Verse 1-2a say this same idea a few different ways. It is kind of controversial. Why do you fight amongst yourselves? You fight because of your desires.

I have been reflecting on desire this week.

Desires "that battle within you" literally says "soldiering among your limbs." You are like the baby, ruled by your desires... except you also know there isn't enough to go around. You know that some of your desires are not going to be fulfilled, unless you can be the first... or the loudest... or the strongest.

Let's add to that, you have a whole mess of competing and complicated desires. You might even want two opposing things at the same time. My mouth wants the pie... but my gut has had too much. You know what it's like to have a battle within you.

Let's add to that, the whole world knows you have these seething desires and latching on to them is the easiest way to manipulate and control you. So let's make you hungry so we can sell you a 2lb burger. Let's magnify your sexual desire so we can sell you new pants.

Whatever I want you to do, if I can connect with some desire you already have, stoke up the flame of that desire until you can't stand it, then you will buy my product, vote for me, or kill for pie. When dozens or hundreds or thousands of influencers are attempting to do this to you at the same time...

Does it ever feel like a battle within yourself?

Verse 1-2 says the reason you Christians, you disciples of Christ, maybe just you humans, the reason you fight amongst yourselves is because your desires battle within you.

Is that an oversimplification? All fights and quarrels? Unsatisfied desires warring within us.

And, you ridiculous people... all this dissatisfaction is unnecessary:

2b You do not have because you do not ask God. 3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

You weren't created to have desires because God is sadistic. You were created to have desires that God could fulfill them. The Baby is hungry, the Mom is ready to provide food.

But something is broken, something is disconnected such that you don't seek satisfaction of your desires in the one place, in the one Person from which satisfaction is possible.

This pleasure-seeking is killing our prayer life. We either don't ask or we go begging to God like a vending machine. It's all for our selfish desires.

This is a whole school of thought, by the way. From this Greek word here in James we get the word "hedonism" which argues that pleasure is what it's all about. Maximize your own pleasure, that is all there is to life. We certainly know people who are functionally living this way, and some of you may have caught their latest theme song at the VMAs this week.

and God says this is a big deal?

4 You adulterous people,

don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.

Enemy of God. That is some harsh language. Especially next to "friend" of the world. Calm down, God, we are just friends.

It sounds like a super dramatic pre-teen girl. "If you're going to be friends with Jessica, you are dead to me! You are totes enemy #1."

Friendship with the world -> desires gone wild

So what is the connection here? What connects "friendship with the world" to "desires battling within you?" James turns to this topic "friendship with the world" as if he is now addressing the underlying issue.

Fights and quarrels: symptom of your desires battling within you.

Empty or fruitless prayer life: symptom of a silent or manipulative relationship with God.

Underlying both of these: friendship with the world.

What does being friends with the world have to do with my battling desires? Unpacking that phrase, when I am friends with something, I am looking for some sort of fulfillment or pleasure out of that company. We have things in common, we have a good time together. When the Bible uses "world" or "cosmos" in this negative sense, it is always used to contrast the things of God.

The world is the collection of all things in rebellion to God.

So to be friends with the world is to look for pleasure from something outside of or even opposed to God. We might see then the connection to earlier verses.

You have these desires gone wild, soldiering within you, and it is causing you to not even look to God to meet your desires or, when you do, to do so in a manipulative selfish way.

I think this is the key: You have been looking in all the wrong places.

You have been seeking the fulfillment of desire from the world. And far from fulfilling your desire, it is in the world's interest to magnify those desires, to twist them into something else, to use your every desire as a handle to manipulate, control and enslave you.

You have been looking in the wrong places. Looking for pleasure. Looking for fulfillment.

Desire is a mixed bag. Some are easy to see: hunger, thirst, comfort, sexual desire.

Some are subtle but drive us: our desire for purpose... for security... for meaning, for love, for identity.

What would it mean, in our relationship with God, to look elsewhere to fulfill our desires.

Enemies of God

What would that look like in one of my relationships? I think, as a Father, there are certain rites of passage that are MINE. Teaching my kids to ride on two-wheels. The thrill of running alongside them. Their nervousness as I let go... but I'm still there to catch them as they wobble. Their thrill as they start to get it, as they gain confidence... and then they are off and just flying.

That was their pleasure... but it was my moment to give them.

I think... what if Logan had skipped right over me and asked someone else. And I had to watch all of that unfold from the outside... What a loss. Especially if they weren't doing it right, letting him fall and crash, trading the joy and freedom of the bike for fear and blood and pain.

That is what God feels when we turn to the world to fulfill our desires.

What else might it look like? James uses a word at the top of verse 4. You adulterous people.

James draws on God's language through the Old Testament, especially through the prophets, of God being the loving husband and His people an adulterous wife.

I felt I had to imagine this, to put myself in God's shoes here. The loving husband and the adulterous wife. Just imagining it is painful.

Having wooed and won my wife. Having loved her and building a home and a life with her. Having loved her well, with attention and wisdom, having provided for her.

To watch, almost in slow motion, as my wife chooses another. First she confides in another man. Depends on another man. She seeks out and has fun with another man. She has sex with another man. She seeks pleasure and fulfills desire with another until our marriage relationship is in absolute tatters.

And she says "I'm just friends." "We are just friends." Even as we start putting our relationship back together, do you think I am okay with her getting together with him once a week. "We are just friends."

5 Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us?

Our God is a jealous God. He shaped you, He crafted you, He breathed life into you, He designed you for a purpose, He loved you from the first, He paid the price to redeem you... in every way that you could be His you are His. And you and I say "Yes, Lord... we are yours."

In every way that you could be His you are His.

And we are adulterous people.

But I say: I just want to play over here a bit. I just want a little bit on the side. I actually want a lot a bit on the side.

You're going to give me heaven, great, but in the meantime I want a little fame and fortune. I want financial security any way I can get it. I want my friends to be impressed by the car I drive. I want to look good, I want to be beautiful. I want to be happy and I will take whatever makes me feel happy. I just want to experience pleasure and, frankly God, you are too slow.

The pleasure seeking life creates conflict within us and among us, it cripples our prayer life, and betrays our jealous God.

Where is your other foot

You are here in church this morning. You have at least a foot in the Kingdom of God. You are interested. For those of you who have put their faith in Jesus Christ, you have more than a foot in, you have jumped in. New life, new creation, born again, dead to the world, alive to Christ, all of that.

But... we need to look carefully. James is writing to people in the church here... where is your other foot. Do you have a foot sneaking back into the world? Do you have a hand reaching out into the world to snag just a bit of pleasure, just a bit of purpose from that other marketplace?

Are you trying to stay friends with the world? Just a little bit?

Do I ever look outside of God for pleasure in my life?

Do I ever look outside the gifts of God for pleasure?

I am still wrestling with this one. What one person enjoys as a gift of God is perhaps still a worldly temptation for me. It is easy when we are in the category of sin to recognize worldly pleasures, but the ways we maintain friendships with the world can be subtle.

How much of my security is in my God and how much is in my bank account balance?

How many of my entertainment choices do I really see as gifts from God?

How many of the conflicts we have had with others were because you desired, I desired, and did not have?

What would look different if we brought those desires before God and say "this has gone wild. My appetite for food, sex, recognition, respect, security... my desire has gone wild. I have searched in all the wrong places.

Teach me to desire rightly. Right magnitude, right direction.

Teach me to desire rightly, to desire from You.

Or in the words of Jesus.

Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Could we even reject any pleasure or purpose that you cannot identify as the gift of God?

Reject any pleasure or purpose that you cannot identify as the gift of God.

Can we really be that weird?

Can we really be that single-minded? That Kingdom focused? That King focused?

Can we really be that weird?

It starts here:

6 But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:

“God opposes the proud

but shows favor to the humble.”

May we recognize our double-mindedness and repent. We need more grace.

Recognize that we keep turning back to our old friend, the world, seeking pleasure and purpose. We need more grace.

May we learn to desire rightly. We need more grace.

May we humbly, together, seek first His Kingdom.