Breaking Up Is Hard To Do (2)

Taco Bell Betrayal

Taco Bell betrayed me. Twice.

I had eaten taco bell for dinner that evening. I was with my cousins, a whole van full of kids, where else can you feed a whole van full of kids for like $5? (This was in the mid 90s).

Later that evening, something starts hurting inside of me. Like… bad. And I start itching… like everywhere.

I decide, you know what will make me feel better? A really hot shower. Anyone every had an allergic reaction? What’s the worst thing you can do?

So I get out of the shower and my entire body has become one giant hive. My aunt takes one look and takes me to the hospital. On the way there I start wheezing because the inflammation has spread to my airways and we arrive at the hospital just in time for them to save my life.

How long should I wait before trusting in “the Bell” again? How many times did I say Taco Bell betrayed me? Twice. I trusted them again, again they poisoned me… this time we tried Benadryl earlier in the process and it didn’t progress so far.

When should I trust Taco Bell again again?

When is the right time?

Some would say “never again!”

Some would say “can’t you find room in your heart for $0.99 cent tacos?”

And some would say “Taco Bell is gross, you are better off without it.

This is a judgment call. It isn’t a moral decision. It isn’t exactly a matter of right and wrong (though if I eat Taco Bell and die, it was definitely so-very wrong).

And that is why Taco Bell is exactly like my friend John Mark.

John Mark on the First Missionary Journey

Remember my friend John Mark? He accompanied Paul and Barnabus on their first missionary journey. He was the young disciple, there to assist the older two with all the things. The dream team. And they worked their way across the island of Cyprus and sailed to the mainland.

But when they got there… something happened. And Mark turned around, peaced out, and sailed all the way back home to Jerusalem to mommy Mary (she had a big house in Jerusalem we read about earlier in Acts).

It barely gets a mention back in chapter 13. Just that it happened.

But after the Jerusalem Council and everyone is back home, Paul gets travel fever again.

Acts 15:36 ESV

And after some days Paul said to Barnabas, “Let us return and visit the brothers in every city where we proclaimed the word of the Lord, and see how they are.”

Yay, new mission trip! Coming off the high of the Jerusalem Council, a win for grace, a win for Gentiles everywhere. Paul is eager to bring the good news to all the churches, not just Antioch. And, since email and Skype aren’t a thing yet, he is wondering how all those young church plants are doing. Time to reassemble the dream team, and he calls up his buddy Barnabus.

Barnabus who stood up for him in Jerusalem when the apostles there were too afraid of him to include him in community.

Barnabus who thought of him when he arrived in Antioch and pulled him in to the ministry of teaching and leading the church. Barnabus who Paul traveled for more than a year with facing adversity, stoning, “remember that time they worshiped us as gods?”

Barnabus who traveled with him down to Jerusalem and back twice!

The dream team duo who have served together for years and years. Obviously we are going to go on this check-in soon-to-be-become second missionary trip together!

Acts 15:37–38 ESV

Now Barnabas wanted to take with them John called Mark. But Paul thought best not to take with them one who had withdrawn from them in Pamphylia and had not gone with them to the work.

John Mark hears about another missionary trip and he wants in. Or Barnabus, son of encouragement, wants to give him the chance to redeem himself. And, after all, aren’t we all about grace and forgiveness and second chances?

Let’s bring the boy, it will be good for him. I think he learned his lesson, and now he is a few years older. Let’s encourage him and disciple him and show him how it’s done.

But Paul… he “thought best” not to. This guy wasn’t up to the challenge last time, he said he was and then he bailed on us. It isn’t about “unforgiveness”, it is a judgment call, it is a matter of trust, it is about the high standard we are going to hold our leaders to, our missionaries. Not to mention that we are going to be counting on him out there… and I need a team I know I can count on. Last time I got stoned!

Paul doesn’t think he should go on this trip.

Note that this is not a moral issue. It isn’t a question of righteousness or of doctrine (like the matter at hand in the Jerusalem Council). This is a judgment call, whether to trust this particular dude at this particular point in time with this particular responsibility.

But Barnabus strongly thinks they should.

Paul strongly thinks they should not.

Who is Right?

Let’s vote. How many think Paul was right to hold to a high standard for this trip and not let Mark on the trip?

How many think Barnabus was right to give John Mark a second chance?

I think our answers say more about who we are. Maybe you’ve taken one of those Myers Briggs test, measure whether you are more a Thinker vs. Feeler… or Judging vs. Perceiving?

Thinker vs. Feeler

Barnabus is more of a “feeler”, he prioritizes relationship with people, sometimes even at the expense of truth. That is a danger for “feelers.” Remember when the “circumcision party” came to town in Antioch and it wasn’t just Peter who was swayed by them to the Jews-only table. Barnabus fell into that trap too.

Paul is maybe more of a truth-at-any-cost guy. He was a warrior for the unadulterated gospel, and he flat out says in Galatians “I don’t care what anyone says, if they preach a different gospel ignore them, I don’t care about the approval of men, I work for God alone.” (in other words, I don’t care what you think)! I know plenty of people who love Jesus but kind of hate Paul.

Both have dangers. Both have needed strengths. Here, in two great and wise men, those differences clash… irreconcilably.

Their disagreement is “sharp.” Sharp disagreement, paraxusmos (where we get paroxysm - a sudden attack or violent expression of emotion). It was maybe even heated, certainly passionate.

It is "sharp” enough that they both stick to their opinions. So strong, in fact, that neither of them feels that they can budge or compromise on the matter, and so...

Acts 15:39 ESV

And there arose a sharp disagreement, so that they separated from each other. Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away to Cyprus,

The duo breaks up. The dream team is separated. Barnabus feels so strongly that Mark needs a second chance, he takes him with him and sails away to Cyprus.

Paul is just as bull-headed:

Acts 15:40 ESV

but Paul chose Silas and departed, having been commended by the brothers to the grace of the Lord.

Might be an indication that the church was in support of Paul here since it doesn’t say that “Barnabus and Mark” were “commended by the brothers.” But we don’t want to read too much into that.

Paul and Silas went...

Acts 15:41 ESV

And he went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches.

Smart people disagree. People of sound spirit and wise judgment come to different judgments. And wise and brilliant people sometimes take those conclusions “too far.”

So… who was right?

God Wins in Paul

Maybe Paul was right. He assembles a great team with Silas. And his trip goes awesome. From initially a check-in with church plants, it becomes the Second Missionary Journey and he is going to break into new territory, maybe he had that extra time because Barnabus took on the Cyprus leg of the journey. And on the way, he picks up a new and awesome young disciple.

Acts 16:1–3 ESV

Paul came also to Derbe and to Lystra. A disciple was there, named Timothy, the son of a Jewish woman who was a believer, but his father was a Greek. He was well spoken of by the brothers at Lystra and Iconium. Paul wanted Timothy to accompany him, and he took him and circumcised him because of the Jews who were in those places, for they all knew that his father was a Greek.

Note: Paul is willing to circumcise Timothy for the sake of the gospel… he has (and will with Titus) absolutely refuse if someone tries to require it before the gospel.

And look at Timothy’s dedication, in contrast to John Mark who went home early, Timothy is willing to be circumcised as an young adult just to remove a potential objection Jews he wants to help preach to might have.

God is winning through Paul’s journey.

And the trip there is like a victory lap.

Acts 16:4–5 ESV

As they went on their way through the cities, they delivered to them for observance the decisions that had been reached by the apostles and elders who were in Jerusalem. So the churches were strengthened in the faith, and they increased in numbers daily.

And it goes on. So was Paul right and Barnabus wrong.

God Wins in Barnabus

Barnabus goes on his mission trip to Cyprus and we don’t hear much about how it goes. But after this division from Paul, we know that their relationship isn’t broken. Paul writes to the Corinthians after the second missionary journey of Barnabus

1 Corinthians 9:6 ESV

Or is it only Barnabas and I who have no right to refrain from working for a living?

The tone there is of a fellow missionary, a fellow worker, an ongoing close association. Partners again.

But was Barnabus right about John-Mark?

Paul later writes to his mentee, Timothy, and at the end of his days he writes for Timothy to send some help.

2 Timothy 4:11 ESV

Luke alone is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is very useful to me for ministry.

Who’s helpful now? John

Mark i

s.

Mark became useful to Paul, but also may have served all of us. Long church tradition says that this John Mark is the very Mark who took down Peter’s testimony as “The Gospel According to Mark.”

God Wins

So who wins? God wins.

Here, Division becomes multiplication.

Two mission trips instead of one. Division but not divorce.

At the time, I bet this was incredibly painful and they agonized over these decisions. Certainly this must have shaped John Mark’s life. Paul obviously remembered it and told it to Luke, who brought to us with all its ambiguity.

In the moment, this was monumental and painful and likely felt like lives and the whole mission, and maybe the whole Kingdom rested on getting this right.

But with the advantage of seeing the whole story of God, the whole lives of these men play out… we see that God wins on every front.

If Satan thought he won a march breaking up the Paul-and-Barnabus band… that was a short lived victory. God is just winning on both paths.

Is the lesson then “fight with your friends, God will make it awesome”!??

Kind of. It isn’t that the outcome didn’t matter or that their decision didn’t matter. I think they each did what wisdom demanded of them, and it shaped their lives, the mission of the church, and the Kingdom.

The only clear emphasis is that, despite the "breakup", God does good things in/through everyone involved. Hence "God wins."

God uses the thinker.

God uses the feeler.

God uses the division between the two.

God uses John Mark and God uses Timothy.

Or, we could say “God works all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.”

And if that conclusion sounds familiar, it is because this theme repeats again and again in the book of Acts. Through the work of messy humans like you and me, God is accomplishing his work. Even through confusion, even through ambiguity, even through “sharp disagreement”, He turns division into multiplication.

... but that's a good word. In our murky, messy, complicated stories, in the end we are going to look back and see how "God wins" even through this. Because we know the ending of the story. And we know the character of the Author. He works "all things together..."

Which says, in the midst of your current crises. Your heavy decision. Your disagreement with your friend, with your wife, with your coworker...

It isn’t that your decision doesn’t matter, that it doesn’t have consequences, that it isn’t difficult and painful and even scary.

But God will make the beautiful out of the ashes. There is a Kingdom victory down the road… because there always is and there always will be. The one who knows the beginning and the end has looked at the end and said “I win, and those who are mine, they win.”

John 16:33 ESV

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”