Breaking the Chains of Unforgiveness
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· 319 viewsSince Christ has forgiven you, we have the responsibility to forgive others.
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The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant
The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant
Matthew 18:21–35 (NKJV)
Introduction:
Around this time last year, our family made a life changing decision. Yep, that’s right. We finally decided to extend our family and we pulled the trigger and got ourselves a puppy. Featured on the screen, you’ll see she’s a sheltie. Isn’t she cute? And me wanting to be a good dad, gave my kids the honor of naming her. They came up with the genius idea of calling our new puppy, North. Do you know why? Because we’re living in North Carolina! But it didn’t take long before North became part of the St Louis clan.
But having puppy come with several responsibilities like walking them from time to time. When North got old enough, I bought a leash and attempted to go outside to walk her. But North wasn’t having it. Every time I tried to walk her, she tried to get away from the leash. So in order to resolve our disagreement, every time she would pull away, all I needed to do was yank the leash, which pulled her back so she couldn’t get free.
So that got me thinking. The leash I held in my hand, held her hostage, kept her bound, and she was unable to run away. She couldn’t break the chain. No matter how much she tried, she couldn’t wiggle her way out of it, bark her way out of it, or run her way out of it. She was stuck and bound. The more she tried, the harder it got.
You know in the same way, many of us, may find ourselves held hostage by a spiritual leash. Where the links on the chain are many. There’s the link of anger, the link of bitterness, the link of resentment, and the link of revenge. But no matter how many links are in the chain, they all boil down to one thing, unforgiveness.
Transition:
There are many of you sitting here today who are being held hostage to an offense that was caused by someone in your life, once upon a time. And if that chain isn’t broken, my fear is that you’ll never be able to experience the joy, peace, and freedom that can be only found in Jesus Christ. So today, I’ve tagged this sermon, “Breaking the Chains of Unforgiveness” because I believe that there are many people who need to be set free from the links of bitterness, anger, resentment, hurt, and pain that has controlled your life for far too long. And my prayer and hope is that God can speak to you today in a way that you simply cannot ignore. Whether you were the offended or the offender, God wants to set you free today.
d) So let’s turn to our text for this morning. If you have a Bible with you and I hope you do, please open them to Matthew 18:21-35. We will be reading from the NKJV. (Read Text)
e) I believe the Word of God is powerful, sufficient, and true, able to address the difficult and complex issues of our world and I believe that unforgiveness is an issue that’s plagued believers for quite some time. So, what does the Bible teach? I believe Matthew 18:21-35 has three elements that will help us wrestle with this difficult subject:
a. Element#1-The Problem of Unforgiveness (v.21-22)
a. Element#1-The Problem of Unforgiveness (v.21-22)
b. Element#2-The Parable of Unforgiveness (Depicted in 3 scenes) (v.23-34)
b. Element#2-The Parable of Unforgiveness (Depicted in 3 scenes) (v.23-34)
c. Element#3-The Penalty of Unforgiveness (v.35)
c. Element#3-The Penalty of Unforgiveness (v.35)
d. Then we will end this morning by providing you with some helpful tips so you can overcome unforgiveness and begin to break those chains that’s keeping you from experiencing freedom in Jesus Christ.
The Problem of Unforgiveness (v. 21-22)
The Problem of Unforgiveness (v. 21-22)
Matthew 18:21–22 (NKJV)
Matthew 18:21–22 (NKJV)
21Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”
21Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”
22Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.
22Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.
Before we look at unforgiveness, we need to understand forgiveness. Dr. Charles Stanley’s book The Gift of Forgiveness offers a helpful definition: He says, “Forgiveness is the act of setting someone free from an obligation to you that is a result of a wrong done against you.”
It’s the deliberate and intentional act of freeing someone from a debt that was owed to you. Forgiveness is when someone ceases to feel resentment for wrongs and offenses.
According to Charles Stanley, forgiveness has 3 elements:
1. There’s the injury…
2. Then there’s the debt that resulted from the injury
3. Then there’s the cancellation of the debt
In order for one to forgive, all 3 of those elements must be present.
Peter’s question in verse 21 comes from Jesus’s teaching on Church discipline in verse 15 of the same chapter.
Look with me in verse 15, it reads, 15 “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.” At the core of Peter’s question was this idea of an offense/injury. He really wanted to know what to do if you were offended by someone and furthermore, how long should you put up with them? We’ve all experienced repeated offenders before (to some degree). Whether it’s a friend that’s dishonest or a family member that keeps borrowing money but never repaying, sometimes our patience runs thin. Regardless of what that may look like for you, we’ve either seen it or experienced it. I think we can relate a little to Peter’s question here.
Peter wanted to know if there was a limit or cap to forgiveness. Peter knew that the Rabbis of his day suggested that a person should forgive the offense of a brother up to 3 times. However, Peter thought he was being generous when he suggested 7 times. You see, the number 7 in the Bible represented completeness and was always understood in a positive way. But there are some problems that stick out here with his question:
1. You see, he assumed that in every conflict that resulted in wrongdoing in his life, he was going to be the victim. He was sure that he would be the offended party. “He asked Jesus, how many times shall he forgive his brother who sins against him?” In other words, if there was fault, then it was against him, not the other way around. That meant there was a level of pride in Peter that needed correction. He lacked humility and Jesus was about to help him see the error in his question.
2. Another issue in Peter’s question is when he asks Jesus, if there’s a limit or cap to how often one ought to forgive. Peter assumes that once you’ve forgiven the person 7 chances to get it right, then you no longer have to deal with that person anymore. Perhaps he thought Jesus would be pleased with him increasing the limit from 3 to 7. Although there are problems with Peter’s questions, I do think they are legitimate questions. Why? Because many people in our day have to deal with repeated offenses by the same individual all the time. Whether it’s a family member, a spouse, a best friend and etc. The offenses and/or debts that we find the most difficult to forgive are usually committed by the people who are the closest to us.
But Jesus shocks Peter when he replies by saying that a person ought to forgive not just seven times, but seventy times seven times. Jesus takes the gracious number offered by Peter and multiplies it by seventy. Meaning, if a brother or sister stole your fish or boat Peter, then you’d have to forgive him or her 490 times before you can move on. Can you imagine the look on Peter’s face! That was an impossible number to track. But Jesus was making a point: He wanted him to understand what forgiveness really meant from a divine perspective. If God graciously forgave our debt of sin and considered the matter settled, he expects us to do the same. But by the show of hands, how many people sitting here today can say with certainty the number of times they’ve sinned against God? What’s the number? How many times have we lied to him or made empty promises or made commitments to him only to go back and do our thing without even a shred of concern? The answer to that question is obviously no one. It’s impossible to keep a record of our offenses towards God, yet God in his rich mercy chooses to forgive the injury which resulted in a debt, and he cancelled it by sending His Son Jesus Christ to die on the cross for us. That’s love! And that is the Gospel! God chose to cancel our debt and erased the balance sheet of our past, present, and future sin because He loves us. Which is why the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13:5, “Love keeps no record of wrongs”.
Application: The underlying principle here is that Jesus wants us to get into the habit of forgiving others that many times when they have offended us. Because that’s what he does for us every single day.
God’s word says in Ephesians 2:4, that God is rich in mercy. He displays his mercy to us each day so we can in turn extend that to others. Family, forgiveness isn’t weakness. On the contrary, it’s courageous and it’s a reflection of God’s character! But fear not, God never leaves us on our own when we are faced with these problems. He grants us His strength to forgive even when we can’t do it on our own. Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” Family, that strength applies to all areas of weakness: if you’re feeling weak or inadequate to forgive, God can grant you the strength to do so through His Spirit.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (NKJV) says,
9And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
10Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
But let me be clear. This power is given to those who have submitted and surrendered to Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior. In order to experience forgiveness, you need to be forgiven and the only way to do that is by confessing your sins to Jesus, repenting and turning away from sin and trusting in Jesus as your Savior.
Family I don’t want you to be confused here. When it comes to the question of forgiveness, here’s what Jesus is not saying. Jesus is not advising careless or shallow forgiveness.
Illustration: We see this happen all the time with kids. Something goes down between two kids that got in a scuffle or a fight, one never wants to say “I’m sorry” where the other person is expecting it.
When my kids get into it with each other, I try to find out what happened by asking them who started it. When I find out who the culprit was, I ask them to apologize which is usually followed by some vague superficial apology of “I’m sorry.” Where you can’t even hear if they said it. When I ask them to say it like they mean it, they usually say it louder but with a facial expression of “seriously dad” written all over their face. And do they really mean it? They typically don’t.
But Jesus is not advocating for a form of superficial forgiveness. It was based on the instructions he gave in Matthew 18:15-20 (the section that precedes our text).
Warren Wiersbe wrote, “If a brother is guilty of a repeated sin, no doubt he would find strength and power to conquer that sin through the encouragement of his loving and forgiving brethren. If we condemn a brother, we bring out the worst in him. But if we create an atmosphere of love and forgiveness, we can help God bring out the best in him.”
Illustration: But I realize that’s easier said than done. Some offenses are very difficult to forgive like betrayal, infidelity, or abuse. And I also recognize that there are a lot of things that happen to people that are real, painful, and traumatic. Only the victim can truly know the depth of that hurt and pain. Which is precisely why this subject of unforgiveness is not easy to talk about. That’s the problem with unforgiveness! But I believe it’s precisely why Jesus took the time to teach Peter and the disciples how to be set free from the bondage of unforgiveness. What Jesus is saying here is not only difficult, it’s radical!
· Transition: Which is why Jesus needed to teach his disciples in a way they would understand by using a parable. This leads us to our second element of the passage this morning:
The Parable of Unforgiveness (v. 23-34)
The Parable of Unforgiveness (v. 23-34)
Matthew 18:23–34 (NKJV)
23Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.
23Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.
24And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.
24And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.
25But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made.
25But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made.
26The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, ‘Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’
26The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, ‘Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’
27Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.
27Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.
28“But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’
28“But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’
29So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’
29So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’
30And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt.
30And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt.
31So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done.
31So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done.
32Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me.
32Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me.
33Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’
33Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’
34And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.
34And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.
A parable is a story. They are not based on a historical event that occurred at some point in the past. As Dr. Stephen Smith (Baptist Seminary Professor) pointed out, though these stories never took place, the theology behind them are in fact true. The Parables of Jesus came from the very imagination of God. So, the story of the unforgiving servant came from the imagination of Christ. And the best way to break down the parable is by viewing them like a scene in a movie:
The story that is depicted in 3 scenes:
· Scene 1- has 2 characters: A king and a servant who is in debt. The king decided to collect his money from his servant who owed him a large amount of money. He owed 10,000 talents. Just to give you an idea, 10K talents was equivalent to 150,000 years’ worth of wages. In today’s currency, that could have ranged from several million to one trillion dollars.
To acquire just one talent, one had to work at least 15 years. When the king saw that the servant could not pay the debt, he commanded him to be sold along with his family and children so that he could recoup a portion of what was owed. Being sold into slavery was a common practice for those who owed a debt that could not be repaid. One would have to voluntarily give themselves into indentured servitude to pay off the debt. With this reality in front of him, the servant goes down to his knees and practically begs the king to give him more time. “Have patience with me, I will repay you everything I owe.” But here’s the problem. There was no way for the servant to come up with that amount of money without a miracle or some divine intervention. But scene 1 ends with an “Oh snap” moment! You know what I’m talking about. It’s those moments in a movie where you’re sitting at the edge of your seat and something in the scene shocks you and you’re like, Oh snap! Did that just happen? Well, Jesus has an “Oh snap” moment by ending the scene with a king that went from throwing a man and his entire family into slavery and voluntarily choosing to waive the debt. The parable reveals an attribute of Christ here: He was compassionate and forgiving. The Greek word for compassion in this verse literally means to take pity. This is consistent with the emotions we often find in Christ in the book of Matthew and throughout the gospel writings.
· Scene 2- Now the very next scene, one would imagine that the servant would be thrilled, right! Who wouldn’t be happy if one day they owed millions of dollars and the next day they’re debt free?
Illustration: We see this all the time on social media when someone works hard to become debt free. They hold up signs and wants the world to know they’re no longer in bondage to the government (federal student loans) or to credit card companies or a mortgage.
But the servant does something entirely different here. He doesn’t throw a feast nor does he go back home to share the great news with his family! No, the scene opens with an image of a mad man looking for one of his debtors all over town. When he finds one, he then commands him to pay him back. The amount that was owed however was only 100 denarii. Now, a denarii was worth one day’s worth of wages. Meaning, if someone owed 100 denarii, they would have to work for 100 days to pay back the debt. That equates to 3.5 months as opposed to 150,00 years. But here’s the turning point in the scene: When the servant finds the man who owed him, the text says that he seized him, grabbed him by the throat and began to choke him, shouting, “Pay back what you owe!” Can you imagine a debt collector today, coming to your house as opposed to blowing up your phone and doing this to you!
Jesus continues the story by showing us the irony: The man fell to the ground and began to plead with him and said to the servant the same thing the servant said in the previous scene, “Please have patience with me and I will repay you what I owe.” Perhaps the servant thought those same words were a lie, because he too more than likely lied about being able to pay back the debt. But the servant is unwilling to do so and has him thrown into prison until the debt can be repaid.
Application Point: You see, this act of unforgiveness reveals something about the heart. The heart is deceitful and wicked and only God really knows it. But it also reveals something else, although we want grace (second chance) and mercy (not getting what we deserve) for ourselves, we don’t want that for others. I heard a pastor say it like this: “We’re promiscuous with extending grace to ourselves, but celibate when it comes to extending that same grace to others.”
Family, it doesn’t matter how big you smile or what we say, we can fool each other, but we can’t fool God. He sees the intentions and the motives of our hearts. An ungrateful heart equates to an unforgiving attitude.
The implications of this are huge. Jesus teaches his disciples in Matthew 6:14-15 (NKJV), “14For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
I think there’s a lot of us who aren’t experiencing joy in Christ because we’ve got a spirit of unforgiveness we’re dealing with. An ungrateful heart equates to an unforgiving attitude.
Illustration: We see this all the time with people who get promoted, completes a degree, gets new car or home, birth of a child, lands that nice job or marriage. Instead of being happy and rejoicing for them and with them, sometimes there’s jealousy, bitterness which leads to sinful and critical statements. What’s in our hearts, eventually comes out in our speech. The reluctance of the servant to extend the same mercy and love that he just received displays a heart issue that only God can cure. Which brings us to scene 3.
Scene 3- In verse 31, the story reveals a group of men who witnessed the egregious act and runs right to the king. When they get back to the palace, they say King, you won’t believe this. The servant you just forgave earlier today, just choked the life out of some guy for owing him only 100 denarii. He had him thrown into prison instead of doing what you did. Can you believe it? So, the king is furious at this point and calls the man back to his court to inquire as to what his servants just shared with him. The king immediately calls the servant back and yells, “You wicked servant! How could you do what you did?” I just canceled your debt because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have done the same with your servants? The king immediately hands him over to the jailers to torture him until he paid back all that was owed.
So, what was the point of the parable? I think the point Jesus is making here is pretty clear. The king in the parable is God and the servant is you and me. You see, we were in debt to God and owed him a large amount. Our sin was too much for us to pay through any acts of good works. The penalty of our sin was death (Romans 6:23) but the gift of God was Christ Jesus. He chose to forgive us the day we asked him to do so, by confessing our sin and submitting to Him as Lord.
The servant and the man in the story are depictions of brothers and sisters in Christ. If God forgave us, then we too should learn from that example and forgive others who are indebted to us. Showing them the same mercy that we received can have a profound impact in their lives which in turn reveals the character and love of God. But when we refuse to forgive, we keep that person hostage in our hearts and in turn it prevents us from experiencing the joy that can truly be found in Jesus. That’s the point of the parable. Jesus wants us to be free! He wants us to experience joy!
a) But it’s important to note that the parable deals with forgiveness between brothers and sisters in Christ, not between lost sinners and God.
b) The parable is not about salvation. The parable illustrates the power of forgiveness. It’s not about salvation. Salvation is based solely on the grace of Jesus Christ and when he gifts us with grace, it is unconditional and irrevocable according to Romans (there are no take-backs with God).
Wiersbe notes, “To make God’s forgiveness a temporary thing is to violate the very truth of Scripture.”
Family, when someone sins against us no matter how grave, harsh or bad it may seem, it pales in comparison to what we’ve done to God. If we truly understood the value of God’s forgiveness, it would radically transform the way we approach forgiveness to others.
Transition: This leads us to the 3rd & final element in the text:
The Penalty of Unforgiveness (v.35)
The Penalty of Unforgiveness (v.35)
Look with me in verse 35, 35“So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.”
In order to understand this verse, we have to look at the 3 stages of the unforgiving servant:
1. He was a debtor
2. He was a creditor
3. He was a prisoner
Ø He was a debtorin the first scene when he owed the king 10,000 talents which equated to 150,000 years’ worth of wages.
o He was a creditorin the second scene when he was owed 100 denarii, which equated to 100 days’ worth of wages.
o But then he became a prisonerin the third scene when he refused to extend the same grace, mercy, and forgiveness that he had just received for himself.
The third stage of the servant being a prisoner shows us that though he was released from prison, he put himself back in.
Application Point: I think many of us do this unintentionally. We put ourselves back into the prison that God just released us from. That’s why in verse 35, Jesus shows us the penalty of unforgiveness. If we never get to the place where we can forgive others, the penalty of that is being in a perpetual state of unforgiveness (bondage).
Illustration/Story: Dr. Charles Stanley helped paint a great picture of this concept when he explained the similarities that exist between a real-life hostage situation and our hearts.
He said, “When a person is taken hostage on the international scene, the abductors usually want something; it may be money, weapons, or the release of prisoners. The message they send, in essence is, “if you give us what we want, we will give you back what we have taken.” There’s always some type of condition, a ransom of some sort.
“When individuals refuse to forgive others for a wrong done to them, they are saying the same thing. But instead of holding people hostage until they get their demands, they withhold love, acceptance, respect, service, kindness, patience, or whatever the others value.The message they send is this: ‘Until I feel you have repaid me for the wrong done to me, you will not have my acceptance.’
Therein lies the problem. The person who really loses at the end is you. Unforgiveness prevents you from walking consistently in the Spirit. And if you’re not walking by the Spirit of God, that means that you’re walking according to your flesh and when we do that, most of our actions, decisions, and deeds will be out of line with God’s word and His will.
Family, unforgiveness traps us in the abyss of our own pain and hurt and keeps us there. We’ll never be able to experience God’s peace and freedom when we keep holding on to that offense. Like I often hear in the military, “Hurt people, hurt people.”
But let me be clear, in the cases of serious offenses that have legal implications, forgiveness does not mean we forget, nor does it mean there won’t be consequences; however, forgiveness does mean letting go of the hurt, pain, and the offense and putting it into God’s hands.
Warren Wiersbe said, “The world’s worst prison is the prison of an unforgiving heart. If we refuse to forgive others, then we are only imprisoning ourselves and causing our own torment.” I think that’s what Jesus was really teaching here in verse 35. How many of us can really say that we feel so much better when we keep carrying that weight of unforgiveness around? At some point, it’ll wear you down & keep you down.
Listen to me, if you want freedom today, give it to Jesus.
If you want joy today, give it to Jesus.
If you want peace today, give it to Jesus.
Family, some of the most miserable people in the faith are people who have not only experienced true hurt, but they’ve also chosen to hold on to them. They fail to realize that the pain/hurt prevents them from enjoying the gifts that can be found in fellowship in both, present and future relationships. Unforgiveness doesn’t only affect us, it spills over into other relationships.
What’s the issue with unforgiveness?
o Unforgiveness robs us of the life God intends for us. Being in a perpetual state of unforgiveness leads to a life filled with bitterness, instead of blessings.
o Hebrews 12:14-15 warns us to make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root rises up to cause trouble and defile many.”
o Unforgiveness can also be an opening for the enemy to derail us and deter us from experiencing true joy, peace, and freedom in Jesus. (Colossians 2:5-11)
But you may have some questions here.
o Some of you may be asking, what about those types of offenses that are simply too much where it’s impossible to forgive? The Bible teaches us in Romans 12:16-19, “Live in harmoy with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: It is mine to avenge; I will repay, says the Lord.”
In other words, let God take care of those who have wronged you. Your job is to let it go but trust that you’re letting it go into the hands of a merciful and just God.
Okay Pastor Pierre. I hear you. But am I expected to forget the hurt that was caused? Family, forgiveness doesn’t equate to forgetting. But what we’re really doing when we choose to forgive is to release a person from their indebtedness to us. We relinquish the right to seek personal revenge and place it in God’s hands. We choose to say with God’s help, we will not hold this person’s wrongdoing against them. That doesn’t mean that we need to necessarily let that person back into our lives or even get to the point of trusting them fully. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that we’re supposed to act like nothing ever happened to us, but it does mean that we recognize that amazing grace has been given to us and that we have no right to hold someone else’s wrongdoing over their head.
You see, the Bible calls us to forgive one another:
Paul says in Ephesians 4:32, to “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you.”
I know forgiveness is difficult so I’m not going to pretend that it isn’t. But I honestly believe that many people will go through this life even as Christians, miserable and purposeless because they continue to hold on to that hurt, pain, or offense for years. If you only knew the joy that could fill your heart if you only let it go and placed it in the hands of Almighty Jesus.
Application Points:
So how do we break the chains of unforgiveness?
Dr. Charles Stanley offers a few steps to forgiveness that can help us be free from the chains of unforgiveness:
Before we understand how to forgive, we need to understand that forgiveness is not:
1. Justifying, understanding, or explaining why the person acted toward you as he or she did.
2. Just forgetting about the offense and trusting time to take care of it.
3. Asking God to forgive the person who hurt you.
4. Asking God to forgive you for being angry or resentful against the person who offended you.
5. Denying that you were really hurt; like saying to yourself, there are others who have suffered more.
Instead do these 3 things:
Acknowledge: Acknowledge that the hurt, pain, or offense exists, and it is real. You matter to Jesus and he wants you to be free.
Acknowledge: Acknowledge that the hurt, pain, or offense exists, and it is real. You matter to Jesus and he wants you to be free.
Ask: Ask God for help. Ask the Holy Spirit to bring to your mind all the people you need to forgive and the events you need to forgive them for.
Ask: Ask God for help. Ask the Holy Spirit to bring to your mind all the people you need to forgive and the events you need to forgive them for.
Take your time and don’t rush through it. As you pray, the Lord will reveal those people to you. When he does, write them down no matter how small the offense may seem. Once you’ve done that, write out everything you can recall that the person has done to hurt you. Don’t hold back the emotions that come with those confessions.
Act: Once the Holy Spirit reveals that to you, act.
Act: Once the Holy Spirit reveals that to you, act.
Act of your own will to forgive that person once and for all. Even when you don’t feel like forgiving, let me encourage you to do so. God will help you every step of the way, but you have to trust Him.
1. Act by releasing the person from the debt you feel is owed to you for the offense. Say out loud, “You are free and forgiven.”
2. When you’ve done all that, I invite you to pray. Pray for healing, pray for strength, pray for joy, pray for God’s continued guidance to help you through every offense, every betrayal, every heart break, every broken relationship that may be a result from having a spirit of unforgiveness.
b) If you truly believe that you’ve done that, pray this prayer of faith with me:
o Lord Jesus, by faith, I receive your unconditional love and acceptance in the place of this hurt, and I trust you to meet all my needs. I take authority over the Enemy, and in the name of Jesus, I take back the ground I have allowed Satan to gain in my life because of my attitude toward that individual. Right now, I give this ground back to you, Lord Jesus Christ, to whom it rightfully belongs. Amen.
c) If you’ve prayed that prayer, my hope is that you can understand that joy is around the corner. As you head into this new week, let me invite you to let God repair those broken relationships and let God fill your heart with supernatural joy that can only come from Him.