The Responsibility of Relationships

Text: 1 Thessalonians 5:12-15

Theme: We are responsible and accountable for how we respond to our brothers in Christ.

Those of you who have regularly read through the letters of the Apostle Paul written to various 1st-century churches are familiar with the phrase “Finally my brothers ...” It means that the Apostle is about to wrap up his letter to the church. And when you read that word finally in Paul’s letters be prepared for a closing list of attitudes and behaviors that Christians should be striving for in their walk with Christ. Our text for the next four to five weeks is one of those passage where, in rapid succession, Paul lays out how believers ought to be living.

“But we request of you, brethren, that you appreciate those who diligently labor among you, and have charge over you in the Lord and give you instruction, 13 and that you esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Live in peace with one another. 14 We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone. 15 See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people. 16 Rejoice always; 17 pray without ceasing; 18 in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 19 Do not quench the Spirit; 20 do not despise prophetic utterances. 21 But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good; 22 abstain from every form of evil.” (1 Thessalonians 5:12–22, NASB95)

If each of us spent the rest of our live just attempting to flesh-out the attitudes and behaviors mentioned in these ten verses, our posterity for generations onward would be telling others of our virtuous life.

In vv. 12-22 of chapter five, Paul gives the Thessalonian Christians some final instructions on living while they wait for the Lord's return. It’s solid advise for the church even today!

While you’re waiting for the appearance of God’s Kingdom on earth, Live Responsibly in Relationship with Other Believers.

While you’re waiting for Jesus to come again, Pray Without Ceasing.

While you’re waiting for the 2nd Advent, Be Enthusiastically joyful.

While you’re waiting for that Glorious Day, Respond to the Gospel.

While you’re waiting for the Day of the Lord, Keep Far, Far Away from Evil.

These are the major themes in Paul’s final instructions to the believers in Thessalonica. This morning, let’s consider the first, Live Responsibly in Relationship with Other Believers. With that topic in mind, let me outline for you this morning, three specific groups of people within the Body of Christ, and how we are to relate to them.

Relating to Church Leaders

Relating to Church Members

Relating to Church Members in Difficulty

I. WE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR HOW WE RELATE WITH CHURCH LEADERS

“But we request of you, brethren, that you appreciate those who diligently labor among you, and have charge over you in the Lord and give you instruction, 13 and that you esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Live in peace with one another.” (1 Thessalonians 5:12–13, NASB95)

1. one of the most important relationships in the church is the relationship between church members and their congregational leaders

2. sadly, some of the most serious and persistent problems in the church today revolve around a congregation’s relationship with its leaders

a. how do church members relate to their pastor, the church staff, deacons and other elected leaders?

b. how should the church respond to these various leaders?

A. THE APOSTLE SPEAKS TO QUALIFICATIONS THAT EARN RESPECT v. 12

1. 1st, a church leader earns respect by diligently laboring among the flock of God

a. the word labor here refers to hard, manual work which requires exhausting toil and produces sweat

b. spiritual leadership is difficult and weighted with responsibility

1) whether it's a pastor's relationship to his congregation ...

2) whether it's a Sunday School teacher's relationship to their class ...

3) whether it's a deacon's relationship to his families ...

c. all are to be hard-working servants of the church

2. 2nd, a church leader earns respect by exercising charge over the flock of God in the Lord

a. in a Baptist Church, when we call a Pastor or staff member, or elect those from among the congregation to positions of leadership, we are in essence giving them a certain measure of authority over the life of the church

b. we are committing to such people the responsibility for the congregation’s spiritual well-being and the advancement of God’s Kingdom in our community

“Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.” (Hebrews 13:17, ESV)

1) watching over the flock of God ought to be a joy

2) sadly, as some of you know from your own experience, watching over the flock of God, can also lead to groaning

3) the word groaning here in Hebrews 13:17 means to sign often and deeply

ILLUS. It’s what Jesus does every time the disciples just don’t ‘get it’

c. the phrase exercising charge over in 1 Thes. 5:12, comes from a word that implies a protectorship or guardianship

1) the implication is that church leaders are to be shepherds and not CEOs, ministers and not bosses

ILLUS. Sadly, I’ve seen churches in our own association wither and die under the leadership of pastors who believed their authority should go unchallenged, that their word was law, and if you disagreed with them you were the problem, and had to be forced out.

2) there is a reason why pastoral ministry is called the shepherding ministry

ILLUS. An ancient Israelite shepherd would go before his sheep to lead them; he would not drive the sheep from behind them. Church leaders should lead the people of God in the same way: feeding, protecting, and guiding them.

d. the qualification for church leadership is the character and ministry of Jesus

1) it is in the Lord

a) Christian leaders should also remember that they have been given responsibility for tending a flock that belongs to God, not to themselves

2) leaders are not to exercise their authority like dictators, potentates or prima donnas

ILLUS. Remember Diotrephes? He’s the reason the Apostle John writes his third Epistle. Here was a church leader who had asserted a heavy-handed leadership over a congregation to its harm. The Apostle describes him as one who likes to put himself first. This, of course, is the anthesis of biblical church leadership.

a) Diotrephes was not overseeing the church in the Lord

b) congregational leadership must always, always, always be expressed in the Lord

3) if we could distill the style of our Lord’s leadership into a single essence, that essence would be servanthood

4) church leaders should diligently labor to be servants to the flock of God “shepherd the flock of God that is among you, ... not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock.” (1 Peter 5:2–3, ESV)

3. 3rd, a church leader earns respect by admonishing or giving us instruction

a. one of the high callings of a pastor or teacher or spiritual leader in the church is to help others in the congregation to grow in their faith, and in their relationship with the Lord

b. spiritual growth comes primarily by preaching, teaching, and modeling the Word of God

1) this implies that members need to display a teachable spirit toward their leaders

ILLUS. Henry David Thoreau once wrote, "It takes two to speak the truth — one to speak, and another to hear."

c. and spiritual growth comes by admonishing, and instructing those who are not measuring up to the fulness of Christ

B. THE APOSTLE SPEAKS TO OUR RESPONSE TO CHURCH LEADERS

1. 1st, we are to respect and appreciate them for their hard work among us

a. church work, whether it be teaching a class of 5th & 6th graders, keeping the church clean from week-to-week, or visiting the sick can be hard work

ILLUS. Hospital visitation with Bob Moles.

1) church work can be physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting work

2) if you don't think so, just talk to anyone here who has worked in Vacation Bible School!

b. you need to respect and express appreciation to those who labor among you in your respective congregations

c. church members can often be insensitive to the basic psychological need we all have to feel appreciated for our labor — especially our volunteer labor

ILLUS. When Linda and I lived in Adrian, we had young adult woman who was asked to serve as chairperson of the Hostess Committee. Her chief responsibility was organizing fellowship meals and the annual Senior High School Baccalaureate Dinner. Michelle had grown up in the church. When she was asked to serve she was excited about taking over the responsibility because she had some fresh ideas that she wanted to implement. Well, this was a Baptist Church, and Michelle should have known that Baptists don’t often deal with change well. Every time Michelle did something, one of the “more mature” and “wiser” ladies of the church would approach her and say, “Ya know, Michelle, we know you mean well, but this is how you ought to do this.” Translation: “We’ve never done it that way before, and we’re never doing it that way again!” And these same ladies were so surprised when Michelle decided not to chair the Hostess Committee the next year.

d. while the majority of church workers labor for the Lord's sake, and not for public acknowledgment, a thank you for a job well done can go a long way in motivating a person to further Christian service

“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11, ESV)

2. 2nd, we are to esteem them highly in love v. 13

a. the NIV says Hold them in the highest regard in love ...

1) this is the more literal translation

b. those who serve in the Body of Christ need to receive affectionate recognition for the labor they are providing

c. the only time many church workers ever hear anything about their service is when someone thinks they didn't "do it right" or "the way it's always been done before"

1) I think this is one of the main reasons why churches loose so many valuable workers year-after-year

2) we fail to love them and value what they are doing

d. to esteem someone means to value the worth of that person to the organization

1) for some reason we have come to believe that if a person is truly humble about their place of service that we shouldn't spoil their spiritualness by affirming them in what they are doing

2) after all, they're simply doing what they are supposed to be doing, right?

e. the Apostle Paul understood that those who labor in the Lord's work need affirmation by those around them

1) they need to believe that those whom they serve feel that their labor has some eternal significance to it

2) it is dangerous when a church family takes their leaders for granted and fails to pray for them, work with them, and encourage them (commend you S.S. teacher)

3. We Are Responsible for How We Relate With Church Leaders

II. WE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR HOW WE RELATE WITH THE BROTHER IN THE PEW

"... Live in peace with each other." (1 Thessalonians 5:13)

1. Paul's thought structure here is very abrupt

a. he turns our attention toward the person sitting next to us, or across the aisle, and commands us to live in peace with each other

b. suddenly, almost as an afterthought, Paul sneaks in this pointed admonition "Oh, and while you're at it, get along with each other, too."

ILLUS. William Hendriksen, in his commentary on 1 Thessalonians, writes that the Apostle Paul is telling the church members to stop your carping at one another.

c. in this verse live in peace is a verb

1) it’s in the imperative mood which means it’s a command

2) it’s in the plural which means it’s every member’s responsibility

3) it’s in the present tense which means do it now

2. too often our attitude is, “Well, I’ll live at peace if she will.”

a. no, that’s not the command

1) Paul commands you to be at peace with your fellow believer weather-or-not they reciprocate

2) much of the dissension in modern churches is traceable to church members disobeying these commands

A. THERE ARE THREE KINDS OF PEOPLE IN THE CHURCH

1. there are those who pitch in and do the work of the church

2. there are those who cop out, and watch while others do the work of the church

3. there are those who habitually gripe about the first two groups no matter what they do or don't do

4. live at peace among yourselves is a relevant statement for the church today

a. nothing is more vital to a church's ministry than an inward harmony and unity among the people of God

"being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." (Ephesians 4:3, NASB95)

1) that doesn't mean that we will always agree on everything that comes before the church

2) it does mean that we will choose to love and fellowship with the one we disagree with

b. a church that gains a reputation for strife and quarreling all but destroys it's ability to proclaim the gospel of Christ

5. people will not respond to a message of forgiveness and redemption from a congregation that does not practice it

B. PEACE REIGNS IN A CONGREGATION WHEN THERE IS GENUINE ACCEPTANCE OF ONE ANOTHER

1. in v. 14 the Apostle Paul writes, be patient with all men

a. non of us has yet matured into the fulness of the stature of Christ

b. we are all still in the process of becoming what God intends for us to be

c. until that time arrives, we need to have patience with each other and forgive one another when we fail to live up to expectations

1) in other words — cut the other believer some slack!

ILLUS. I love the bumper stickers you used to see that said, "Be patient, God ain't finished with me yet!"

d. at times, we all need an extra measure of patience

1) working with people — even Christian people — is a long-term project

e. the people in the church around us do not always respond in ways that we think they should or measure up to our expectations

2. at such times, we need to work all the harder at living in peace with each other

3. We Are Responsible for How We Relate with the Brother in the Pew

III. WE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR HOW WE HOW WE RELATE WITH THOSE IN SPIRITUAL DIFFICULTY

“We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone. 15 See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people.” (1 Thessalonians 5:14–15, NASB95)

1. building a new church building today is a very costly undertaking

2. but building a genuine Christian fellowship within a Body of Believers is even more costly

3. in vv. 14-15 the Apostle Paul outlines some of the steps involved in building a durable fellowship of believers

A. WE ARE TO ADMONISH THE UNRULY

1. the word unruly or idle in some translations is better translated as disorderly, and originally described a soldier who would not keep rank but insisted on marching his own way

a. this is the guy whose always out-of-step with everyone else!

b. what the Apostle is saying is that we are to warn the troublemakers

1) evidently some of the Thessalonian believers — spiritually speaking — were like insubordinate, undisciplined, and disorderly soldiers — they were spiritual goldbricks

ILLUS. In the U.S. Army the term goldbrick is slang that refers to a soldier who feigns illness or injury in order to get out of work or service. The word has since expanded in usage to refer to any person who avoids or tries to get out of his or her assignment.

c. the Apostle Paul is referring to those believers in the church who have neglected their congregational duty, while enjoying the benefits of the church at the expense of others

2. may I make a painful observation?— the church today is full of spiritual free-loaders

a. these are people who want all the benefits of church life, but who want none of the responsibilities that enable the church to carry out it's ministry

1) Tithing? That's someone else's responsibility

2) Serving? Teaching? Ministering? That's what the paid staff is for!

ILLUS. Some time ago I watched a show on the History Channel about the Iditerod Sled Dog Race that is held in Alaska each year. They were interviewing one of the dog mushers who was describing the difference between dogs. He told the interviewer, “You have to know your dogs well, because sometimes you’ll get what we call a ‘dishonest dog’. These are the huskies who learn how to ‘fake it’. They pretend they are working hard by leaning against the harness without really pulling.” 3) makes ya wonder how many ‘dishonest dogs’ we have in the church!

3. the Apostle says such people who refuse to do their part deserve a note of disapproval and are to be admonished to mend their ways

B. WE ARE TO ENCOURAGE THE TIMID

ILLUS. We know that trials and tribulations that came with conversion to Christ were discouraging some of the believers in Thessalonica. These believers needed encouragement. The word encourage in vs. 14 means to speak kindly to someone.

1. some members of a local congregation need just the opposite of admonishment

a. they need a quiet word of encouragement

b. some believers call for more time and attention than others

1) they can sometimes be regarded as a burden sometimes taking an inordinate amount of a church leader’s time

2) those folks can be frustrating

ILLUS. Isn’t it interesting that in the Old Testament, that when Israel came out of Egypt the people’s rate of march was set, not by the strongest, but by the weakest among them?”

2. the word timid in this passage means short of soul

a. it refers those who are fainthearted people and tend to become easily discouraged

b. they need some encouragement

1) there are some in the church, who if they just got some encouragement, would make wonderful teachers

2) there are some in the church, who if they just got some encouragement, would become powerful evangelists and testifyers of the faith

3) there are some in the church, who if they just got some encouragement, would surrender to preach, or teach, or go to the mission field

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, ... but let us encourage one another ... ” (Hebrews 10:23–25, NIV)

3. I think many Christians are “dying on the vine” for lack of encouragement from other believers

a. Proverbs 15:23 says, “A man has joy in an apt answer, And how delightful is a timely word.”

1) isn’t that true?

2) it’s a delightful thing to receive a timely and encouraging word

C. WE ARE TO HELP THE WEAK

1. this is a reference to those who are spiritually weak

a. these are the members of our congregation who have not yet learned to lean on the Lord as much as they should for their spiritual needs

1) until they do, they need strong support from other believers

2. the verb help in this passage can be literally translated; “Hold fast to the weak!”

a. we are not to let them fall

b. we are to stand by those who are facing a difficult crisis

3. nothing tests a believer’s faith like a crisis or difficult circumstance

a. we are not always up to the test

b. sometimes we need the help of others who are strong in the faith to stand by us until the crisis is past

ILLUS. With the price of gas so high these days, the novel idea of car-pooling has reemerged. We need to take a lesson and begin carepooling.

D. WE ARE TO BE PATIENT WITH EVERYONE

1. within the fellowship of the local church, we find all kinds of people

a. many of them are, by nature, quite incompatible

b. they would never be found grouped together anywhere else

1) in the fellowship of the church, doctors, lawyers, and professionals rub shoulders with plumbers, clerks, and shop hands

2) cultured socialites sit down with farmers and fishermen

3) people of opposite temperaments seek to work together for the cause of Christ

4) converted thieves, harlots, and drug addicts fellowship with saved housewives, policemen, and school teachers

5) rich and poor, black and white, young and old all find themselves united by the mystical bonds of Christ

2. we are patient with each other because we are all bound together by a common faith, the blood of Christ, and the baptizing work of the Holy Spirit

3. We Are Responsible for How We How We Relate with Those in Spiritual Difficulty

Faithful living involves many different relationships. It involves relationships with church leaders, and with fellow believers — some of whom have some real needs in their lives. We need to strive to mature in all of these relationships.

I like the definition of the church given by theologian Andrew Kirk:

What the New Testament means by the Church is not an institution which owns property, performs rites and organizes meetings, or even one that plans strategies to evangelize unreached people. Rather, it is a group of ordinary people who, because they are experiencing the immense grace of a compassionate God, are learning how to overcome hostility between people, forgive and trust one another, share what they have and encourage one another in wholesome and joyous relationships.