Have A Heart

You don’t notice anything about me because…

You don’t care.

Have we ever heard or used that phrase?

The wife to the husband, “If your car got scratched, you’d notice. You don’t notice my hair cut because you don’t care.”

Husband to the wife, “If the car was one of your precious finger nails you’d take care of it. You scratched the car because you don’t care.”

In both of these scenarios we have accusations being made.

If we stop and listen, we will hear what lies underneath the problem.

In both of these scenarios there is hurt, pain, and frustration.

What both the husband and wife are asking is for the other person to care about what they care about.

They are asking for compassion.

Compassion is something that should be a motivating factor in the lives of believers.

Why? Because compassion motivated our Lord.

I think we can all agree that motivation is important.

Over and over again in the gospels we have Jesus speaking or acting because “He was moved with compassion.”

Tonight, as we wrap up our study on communication, I want us to really stop and think about our motivation in dealing with one another.

Do we have hearts of compassion?

The bottom line is that we need to care about one another.

As we begin, let’s look at a Biblical example of how ugly it can get when we don’t care for others.

Go with me to 1 Kings 12:3-17.

1 Kings 12:3-17

1 Kings 12:3–17 NKJV

3 that they sent and called him. Then Jeroboam and the whole assembly of Israel came and spoke to Rehoboam, saying, 4 “Your father made our yoke heavy; now therefore, lighten the burdensome service of your father, and his heavy yoke which he put on us, and we will serve you.” 5 So he said to them, “Depart for three days, then come back to me.” And the people departed. 6 Then King Rehoboam consulted the elders who stood before his father Solomon while he still lived, and he said, “How do you advise me to answer these people?” 7 And they spoke to him, saying, “If you will be a servant to these people today, and serve them, and answer them, and speak good words to them, then they will be your servants forever.” 8 But he rejected the advice which the elders had given him, and consulted the young men who had grown up with him, who stood before him. 9 And he said to them, “What advice do you give? How should we answer this people who have spoken to me, saying, ‘Lighten the yoke which your father put on us’?” 10 Then the young men who had grown up with him spoke to him, saying, “Thus you should speak to this people who have spoken to you, saying, ‘Your father made our yoke heavy, but you make it lighter on us’—thus you shall say to them: ‘My little finger shall be thicker than my father’s waist! 11 And now, whereas my father put a heavy yoke on you, I will add to your yoke; my father chastised you with whips, but I will chastise you with scourges!’ ” 12 So Jeroboam and all the people came to Rehoboam the third day, as the king had directed, saying, “Come back to me the third day.” 13 Then the king answered the people roughly, and rejected the advice which the elders had given him; 14 and he spoke to them according to the advice of the young men, saying, “My father made your yoke heavy, but I will add to your yoke; my father chastised you with whips, but I will chastise you with scourges!” 15 So the king did not listen to the people; for the turn of events was from the Lord, that He might fulfill His word, which the Lord had spoken by Ahijah the Shilonite to Jeroboam the son of Nebat. 16 Now when all Israel saw that the king did not listen to them, the people answered the king, saying: “What share have we in David? We have no inheritance in the son of Jesse. To your tents, O Israel! Now, see to your own house, O David!” So Israel departed to their tents. 17 But Rehoboam reigned over the children of Israel who dwelt in the cities of Judah.

Rehoboam lost the kingdom because he only cared about himself.

He had no compassion for the people.

He had no care for them at all.

He wanted to look good.

He wanted to show that he was better than his dad.

He missed his primary task, to care for the people placed under his authority.

He did not have a heart of compassion.

Now go with me to Matthew 23:37-39.

Matthew 23:37-39

We are going to learn three lessons about what it means to have a heart of compassion.

Lesson #1…

A Heart Of Compassion Is Caring vv. 37-38

Matthew 23:37–38 NKJV

37 “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the one who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing! 38 See! Your house is left to you desolate;

This almost seems contradictory.

Jerusalem had killed the prophets and those sent to her!

The servants of God sent to bring Israel out of rebellion were consistently attacked.

The nation of Israel resisted and rejected the Lord over and over again.

They even rejected Christ Himself when He came!

And yet…

Jesus wants to comfort them!

Do we desire to comfort others?

What about when they reject us?

In v. 38 Jesus shows His care for the fact that Israel has suffered the consequences of their rejection.

Do we sometimes secretly rejoice when other face consequences?

Especially when they have done something mean to us? Something that hurt us?

Jesus doesn’t do that.

Jesus cares.

His care is expressed in His desire to comfort.

We too should desire to comfort.

We can accomplish this with words, actions, and attitudes.

Comfort is hard, especially when the one we are offering it to is rejecting us.

The picture in my mind is of a little child that is hurt, you go to pick them up and they push you away.

That rejection makes us want to let them go.

That is the exact wrong reaction.

A heart of compassion and care reaches out regardless of personal rejection.

Now, this doesn’t mean you force your compassion on someone.

That’s where we are headed next.

But let’s talk about this for a minute.

In our relationships, there is conflict.

Conflict is inevitable.

A heart of compassion is able to put our own desires and hurts aside in order to reach out to the other person.

That is not easy to do!

And yet, it is Biblical.

Underneath all our communication there must be compassion and care.

That care for others is going to change how we talk.

It will impact our tone, our word choice, and our persistence.

We need to pray that God would give us love and care for one another.

3 lessons about what it means to have a heart of compassion.

Lesson #1: A Heart Of Compassion Is Caring.

Lesson #2…

A Heart Of Compassion Is Patient vv. 37-39

Matthew 23:37–39 NKJV

37 “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the one who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing! 38 See! Your house is left to you desolate; 39 for I say to you, you shall see Me no more till you say, ‘Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord!’ ”

Jesus wanted to offer comfort and care, but they were not willing.

They were not willing.

However, Jesus is patient.

Jesus knows that the pain they endure, the trials, hardships, and struggles are going to drive them back to Him.

There is going to come a day when they turn to Him.

There is coming a day when every knee will bow (Phil. 2:9-11).

They are going to see Jesus again.

This is the opposite of our attitude.

When someone rejects us, we want to write them off.

We don’t want to give them a second chance!

That’s not how Jesus is and we are called to be like Jesus.

According to 2 Peter 3:9, He is long-suffering. Not willing for any to perish.

Again, we are called to be like Jesus.

Paul told the Galatians that he was laboring for Christ to be formed in them (Gal. 4:19).

Here is my point.

Jesus is patient with us, therefore, we need to be patient with one another.

We endure rejection, we endure discomfort, we endure because we love them.

That wayward child?

Be patient.

Keep loving them, keep pursuing them, keep your eyes and your arms open.

Be ready to welcome them home.

That spouse who frustrates you so much?

Be patient.

Love them, speak kindly to them, let them know your love and care.

Chase them down.

That friend who you love, but the relationship has gotten strained?

Don’t give up!

Be patient with them.

Have a heart of compassion.

What does Jesus do with those who oppose Him?

Jesus lovingly, tenderly, and persistently draws them to Himself.

A heart of compassion and patience never lets go of hope.

I have a friend who told me a story about his parents.

They had gotten into a huge argument, a regular shouting match.

Things were said, and it turned out that the dad was in the wrong.

He went up to the mom and put his arms around her.

She kept hitting his chest, she was so mad.

He just kept saying, “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

Over and over and over he said it, until finally, the message got through and they held one another and cried.

That is a heart of compassion and patience.

We hold on, we love, and we wait for the breakthrough.

That brings us to our third and final lesson.

3 lessons about what it means to have a heart of compassion.

Lesson #1: A Heart Of Compassion Is Caring.

Lesson #2: A Heart Of Compassion Is Patient.

Lesson #3…

A Heart Of Compassion Is Open v. 39

Matthew 23:39 NKJV

39 for I say to you, you shall see Me no more till you say, ‘Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord!’ ”

There are three words I want to focus on here.

“till you say”

There is an important lesson here.

Jesus will gather them.

Despite their rejection, despite the pain they have brought Him, Jesus is open to them coming back to Him.

In our relationships, when trust has been broken, when the relationship has been damaged, we have to be open to restoration.

Do we really want to have a better marriage?

We have to be open to it.

We have to be open to doing the personal work and the teamwork necessary to get there!

Do we really want to have a better relationship with our kids?

We have to be open to it!

We have to be willing to admit our faults and failures and work on doing better!

Do we really want to restore that friendship?

It starts with being open to the restoration.

Here’s the thing.

Restoration takes time. But restoration is always worth it.

A heart of compassion and openness is willing to put in the work.

Are we willing to put in the work?

Do we have hearts of compassion?

We must care.

We must be patient.

We must be open.

All of this necessitates a heart of love and compassion.

If we want to restore broken relationships, this has to be underneath it all.

If we want to communicate well, this has to be the foundation.

Communication sits on the foundation of love.

CHALLENGE:

I will have the right attitude and do the work necessary to communicate with compassion.