Family

Intro

Much of human existence is dictated by the strong “togetherness” force originating in that most basic of social organisations, the family.

That force, opposite from the “individuality force,” automatically and instinctually pulls us together in a family and, emotionally defines what that family is. It sticks us together, absorbing part of each self, demanding we be there for the group. Togetherness is the force that tries to pull one

The Togetherness Fusions: No matter how we may try to deny it, or cut off from it, the family, determines a great deal about us, both our weaknesses and our strengths.

To that family as well as our reactions to it and principles learned there, we are indebted for much that is good or great about ourselves. On the other hand, the same forces went into creating the patterns we wish were different, those that get us into trouble.

Family Relationship Patterns

When a family member becomes stressed, just like the cows, everyone feels anxious. And the tendencies toward fusions (herding instinct) become more pronounced.

The fusions, while they solve the problem of being alone and in danger, are themselves uncomfortable, adding to the anxiety.

So family members may try to resolve their anxious feelings by adopting certain well-known postures toward each other. These postures, then, are actual evidence of relationship fusions, or loss of self into the group (stuck-togetherness). Togetherness (or fusion) in relationships, though an attempt to resolve anxiety, actually creates anxiety of its own, thus adding to the overall difficulty.

(Gilbert, Roberta M. (2011-10-17T23:58:59.000). The Eight Concepts of Bowen Theory . Leading Systems Press. Kindle Edition.)