Leaving Christianity

And so I am profoundly thankful that all over the world, there are thousands of people coming to faith in Christ. And we celebrate that, but at the same time, it's also important to notice that there are some Christians that are deciding to not be Christians anymore. While there are so many people that are converting to Christ, there are some that we could say are deconverting away from Christ. And I'm not trying to make a theological statement of whether, whether they said, whether they did not say, what I'm saying is, there are people that unfortunately today, for any number of reasons, are saying, "I'm choosing not to follow Jesus". And as a pastor and as a dad, and as a person who loves so many people, this hits really, really close to home. And I'll try to explain without being too emotional, but we have six kids and people say, "You must love kids". And I say, "I do," but I love their Mama. And we have six kids, if you know what I'm saying. And we were home-educating our kids back before you had to do it. You know what I'm saying? Like, everybody had to, we did it back when it was weird. We did it back in the old days when you had to make your own butter, if you know what I'm saying. We did it back then. And some people say this at work, just so you know, that every one of my children, all six, every single one of 'em, all six graduated at the top of their class. It's a homeschool joke, but, nevertheless, they grew up with some of the best friends. I mean, I love these kids like my own. Some of 'em call me dad and they had this broad community and then our kids got involved in switch and made friends outside the homeschool community and in private schools and in public schools. And so there's all these kids that have grown up in my home, around my family. And many of them are faithfully serving Jesus today, but for some of them, somewhere along the way, they had questions and couldn't find the answers. They had hurts, like many of us do, and some of them faced some very real spiritual doubts. So rather than pursuing a growing relationship with Jesus, there were a few of these kids that I love so much, that are choosing to walk away from the faith. And I wanna talk about that today very directly. The title of today's message is "Leaving Christianity".

Father, we ask and pray today that by the power of Your Holy Spirit, in the same way that You draw people when we lift up Jesus, we pray that we would represent Him in all that we do. And because of Your goodness, through Your church, people would follow Your Son and lives would be changed. We pray this in Jesus' Name. And everybody said... Amen. Amen.

If we talk about people walking away from the faith, instead of shaming them or blaming them, I wanna talk about taking a little responsibility in the places that maybe we should. And today I wanna ask you to be open-minded and just consider how some of us as Christians might be getting things wrong, and perhaps with the help of God, how some of us can do things even better. And we're gonna look today at a very complicated guy that I love in the Bible, because I'm complicated at times, his name is Peter. And we're gonna look in Matthew 14, at a very powerful story, when Peter faced some doubts, as he did often in his life. If you don't know the context, Matthew 14, the disciples are out on a boat and Jesus walked up on water. If you could imagine this, the disciples, they're freaking out. They're going, "Oh my gosh, is it a ghost"? And Jesus's like, "No, it's just Me". It's Jesus walking out on water, and if you read the story in the gospel, verse 28, Peter cries out, "Lord, if it's You, tell me to come to You on the water". And Jesus said, "It's Me. Come". And Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. Now, let me give you a little spoiler alert. If you don't know what happens, Peter actually walked on water. Then, Peter sank into the water. And sometimes people criticize and go, "Oh, like he has such little faith". I'm like, "Come on, guys. He is the only one that got out of the boat and had the courage to walk on water". Can we give some love to Peter? That's cool. In the same way he had the faith to follow Jesus, we're gonna watch him struggle in his faith, just like some of those who are bolded up one time and then struggle in our faith at others. Scripture says he's walking on water but when he saw the wind, he was afraid and he began to sink and he cried out, "Lord, save me! And immediately Jesus reached out His hand and caught him. You of little faith," Jesus said, "why did you doubt"? I love that question. Why did you doubt? Can we have the courage today to take off the spiritual facade and get a little bit real here? I'm curious today at all of our church locations and those of you online. How many of you have had spiritual doubts? Would you raise your hand? Lift 'em up for a moment. Type it in the chat, if you want to, in the comment section, "I've had spiritual doubts". Just type it in there. And I wanna take a moment and say thank you, for your honesty. Thank you. Because there are some faith communities where people wouldn't have the courage to be that honest. Because they might feel afraid of being shamed or look down on or cast out because they don't have enough faith. I wanna give you my agenda today and I'm just gonna be real upfront. My goal, it is not an easy goal. I'm gonna talk to two different groups of people. It's hard enough to talk to one. I'm gonna try to talk to two. The first group I wanna talk to directly, is those of you that are currently having some faith doubts. And this is not unusual, most great believers do. And I wanna remind you that your doubts don't disqualify your faith. Just because you're doubting now, it doesn't mean you're not a believer, and real faith isn't the absence of doubts. Real faith pushes through the doubts to even a deeper faith. So I wanna talk to those of you that may have some unsettledness in your spiritual life right now. And then I wanna talk to the rest of you, and those would be those who are ready to help others through their doubts. And I hope that this is you. Instead of being the type of people that look down at others and go, "Oh, they must not have really been a Christian," or, "Oh, they must have sin in their life," instead of having that kind of stupid, negative, hateful, judgmental attitude, we wanna be posture to show the love, the grace of God, to help those who may be struggling, 'cause you may be struggling one day and you probably struggled somewhere in the past. So to both groups of people, to those who perhaps are struggling or wanna help someone who is struggling, I wanna remind you that doubt is not the enemy of faith. What is doubt? Doubt is often an invitation to a deeper faith. I hope you hear this. I hope you feel it. That just because you doubt, it doesn't mean you're losing faith. Doubt can be an invitation to pursue Jesus, to grow even into a deeper faith. And Jesus asked the question, "Peter, why do you doubt"? Why do you doubt? So if you do have some spiritual doubts occasionally, let me ask you this: why? Why? It's really interesting to dissect and discern your doubts. Why would you doubt? Can I be honest with you again this week? I told you last week about a moment of doubt. That's easy. I wanna tell you today about a season of doubt. Not a moment, but a season. And Amy remembers it well. We were just married and I left a business job making, it was a lot of money back then, for a ministry job making not much money at all, paying my own seminary. Working full time in ministry, driving once a week to go to seminary. And oddly enough, and I know this will confuse some of you, but it's true. It was in seminary that I started to doubt. Wow. I had a New Testament professor who was brilliant, well respected. And this professor did not believe that the New Testament or the Bible was inspired by God. Yes, this was in seminary, and he would tell us every week why he did not believe the Bible was the Word of God. And every week, I would get in my red Geo Prizm... Suffering for the glory of God, right? And I would drive home, and I would cry out to God: "Are You really there? Is this really true? Can I trust Your Bible? Am I gonna devote my life to serving someone that I'm not even sure is real"? And it wasn't just a moment, it wasn't just a semester, it was a season of wondering, is this all really true? What do you doubt? Just think about it. If you do, why? I interviewed dozens of people in preparation for this and then just in my pastoral experience, I'll tell you the main reasons that I came across. One of the reasons is that people just have questions they can't answer. They find some apparent contradiction. The Bible says this here and then it says this here, and I just can't reconcile it and so that seems like too big of a deal. I talked to one person that said, "I came across an article then another article, then another article that said, 'Science actually contradicts the Bible.' And how could I serve a God that says this but science says something different"? I talked to one college student that has some friends from another country and one of his friends is a great guy who's a Buddhist, and he said, "The exclusive claims of Jesus just seem like too much". I mean, this is a good guy. How can Jesus be the only way to God when there are so many other people around the world who sincerely believe something different? Why do you doubt? There's a big group of people that doubt because they can't reconcile how a good God could allow so much pain and suffering in this world. How could there be like innocent children and civilians suffering in Ukraine? What about little girls that are trafficked their whole life? What about innocent babies around the world that die in extreme poverty because they can't even get a meal? And sometimes it's not just the big things out there. Sometimes it's the personal things, like, I prayed and prayed and prayed for my loved one to be healed of cancer and I knew that God would do it and He didn't. Or I for my parents' marriage and they ended up divorcing. Or, I just wanted to go to that school and I got turned down, God, where are You? Sometimes it's just an issue that doesn't seem fair. For a lot of people though, I came across, they doubt because there is some type of a severe wound, a hurt, that they can't resolve. And you know the story a Christian leader that you love and respect lets you down. It's the youth pastor that's so amazing that you find out has this dark sexual secret. It's the dad who loves Jesus and then ends up loving other women besides just loving your mom. And one person said this and this really got to me. One person said, "For me, the reason I doubt, is because what I read in scripture, I don't see it in the church". It's an interesting question. Why do you doubt? And Jesus asks Peter this question. For years, this little portion of the scripture bothered me: oh, ye of little faith. Why do you doubt? I saw it as an accusation. But then as I matured in my faith, and learned more about the character and the nature of Jesus, and I thought about, Jesus is always loving. He's always full of grace. He's always compassionate. I think I've been reading that question the wrong way. And I asked myself, when Jesus said, "Why did you doubt"? What if this question isn't an accusation, but an invitation? What if it's not something that's condemning him, but something that's wanting to encourage him? Instead of saying like, "Hey, why did you doubt"? What did Jesus not do? Jesus didn't sit back and say, "Well, go ahead and sink there you loser no-faith-guy. That'll teach you. Sink there! There, let's see you sink to the bottom". No, what did Jesus do? He reached out His hand. Someone who is loving, reaches out their hand. And when Peter was drowning in his doubt, Jesus came to him and met him in his doubt. I think Jesus was smiling. I think Jesus was inviting. I think He's like, "Hey Peter, why'd you doubt, bro? What's up, man. I'm on the water. You can be on the water. Why'd you doubt Me? Remember the loaves and the fishes? Remember the water and the wine. Remember the eyes that can now see and the ears that can now hear. Hey, why'd you doubt? Hey, don't have little faith. What if..." From a loving Savior. This wasn't an accusation, but an invitation. And that's why whenever you start to doubt or someone you love starts to doubt, you don't panic. It's not a time to panic. It's a time to process. It's a time to dialogue. It's a time to say, "Hey, let's talk through it. Let's explore. Let's keep pushing into Jesus". And the problem is, if we as Christians don't handle the doubt moment well, when someone asks a question, when someone is hurt, if we don't handle the moment well, they may feel like we are judging them in an accusatory mode. And unintentionally, we may push people away. And when pushed away, there are many people today are doing what we call now deconstructing. Deconstructing. Quick question. How many of you are aware of what spiritual deconstruction is? Raise your hand. Okay. Fair number of you. Those of you online, I'm just curious, so I wanna see. I'm gonna go back and look online, type it in. Yes. I'm aware. No, I'm not aware. Whatever. I wanna know. Spiritual deconstruction. What is deconstruction? I'm glad you ask. Okay. This is a controversial and emotionally charged subject in the culture today. It's not a new idea, maybe a new term, but not a new idea. It's something that's been around for a long time, but it's controversial because of many reasons. One reason is there's a lot of different approaches and there's no single definition to what deconstruction is. I'm gonna tell you just my posture on it so that we as a church can be positioned to love people well and invite them rather than accuse them. In my opinion, and this is my opinion, and many people would disagree. In my opinion, there is a healthy way to deconstruct and there's a dangerous way to deconstruct. Deconstruction done poorly can hurt people, even the one who is deconstructing. Someone may be hurt by Christians and so we're deconstructing, and it's easy to be hurt by a few Christians and get bitter at all of them. All of them. You don't get hurt at one restaurant bad service and boycott all of them? We might do that with Christians, right? Or maybe one church let us down so we write off all churches. Or sometimes we'll write off our parents. Sometimes we end up hating ourselves. And that's why some pastors preach against it. "Oh, they weren't really saved in the first place. Oh, they didn't really know Jesus in the first place. Oh, if they really had faith in Jesus, then they wouldn't be doing this deconstruction stuff". And that's what they'll tend to do. I would say very respectfully to my peers, and we talk about this openly, that I believe you have a lack of understanding. Because, done well, there can actually be spiritual progress. And I would say, here's my definition of deconstruction done well. This is my definition. What is it? It's a sincere examination of your beliefs, to let go of what is untrue, so you can hold on to what is true. It's a sincere spiritual journey to say, "Is there anything you hear that's contrary to God's heart"? If this is contrary to God's heart, let's let go of it so that we can embrace what is true to His heart. In fact, I would argue that deconstruction done well can be a form of discipleship, where you're actually growing closer to Jesus. You could make an argument that Jesus at times may have helped people deconstruct. Oh, pastor, you're getting into dangerous territory. Matthew 5, Jesus said, "You've heard it said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.'" That sounds good, right? Love those who are nice to you, and if they're mean, slit their tires when they're not looking. That sounds right. But Jesus says this. Jesus says, "But I tell you..." Even though you've heard it said, even though you believed it to be true, but I tell you, "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you". You believed you should hate those who are mean, but My kingdom values say you love them too. And five different times, in Matthew 5, Jesus said, "You have heard it said, but I say to you"... Essentially what He was saying is, you thought this was true, but I'm here to tell you that's not what is true, here is what is actually true. And you see Jesus do this with other disciples. You see Him do it with Peter over and over again. A great example is in Matthew 16, where Jesus announced to Peter and the others, He said, "Hey, I'm gonna have to go to Jerusalem where I'm gonna suffer and I'm gonna be killed. But the good news is, I'm gonna be raised back to life". And Peter went, "Nah, not gonna let it happen. That's not my plan". Peter said, "You're gonna be a conquering King, not a dying Messiah". And Jesus wasn't having anything of that wrong belief. And Jesus said to Peter, "You do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns". What was Jesus doing? He was discipling. He was teaching. You could say, with this lens, you could say He was deconstructing Peter's wrong beliefs about Jesus as Messiah, and saying, "Peter, you thought I was gonna be a conquering King, but I came to be a suffering servant". Wow. You thought I would achieve victory through conquest, but I will achieve victory through sacrifice. Wow. Hey, let's just let go of what isn't true so we can hold on to what is true. So how do you build your belief system? And the answer is, the B-I-B-L-E. Now that's the book for me. You believe with the Bible, right? Yeah. If I'm right say right. Amen. You build your beliefs over the Bible. Oh, do you? You don't. You really don't. You build your belief system based on how your church teaches the Bible. 'Cause if you haven't been around much, let me tell you, some of us teach it with a different flare. And you build your belief system based on how your family interprets the Bible, or how your community interprets the Bible. And no matter how smart you are, no matter how many theological degrees you have, no matter how good you are on Twitter, at pointing out everybody else's errors, you bring your own filters every time you read the Bible. You can't read it without your own filters. You read it through your family background. You read it through how you were raised. You read it through where you were raised. You read it through the type of church you were raised in or no church at all. Even the way your parents voted might influence how you read it or don't read it. And you pick up beliefs as you go. And the good news is, many of your beliefs about God are true and biblical and God honoring. But because we are all flawed people, not everything that you pick up along the way is true. I'll give you an example. You wanna have example? I mean, this is gonna be funny to you, but this is true. I grew up in a United Methodist Church and we talked about like Jesus and God, and that's about it. Then I became a Christian and immediately went to a hyper charismatic church. Has anybody ever been to a hyper charismatic church? Okay. At that church, you're introduced to, not the Holy Spirit, but the Holy Ghost, somebody. The Holy Ghost. And what I wanna tell you is, this was a great church. And I learned so much at this church. I learned about the Holy Spirit, that the Holy Spirit is your comforter. I didn't know that. That He's your guide. That He convicts you. That He gives you spiritual power. That He gives you spiritual gifts. That He gives you fruits of the Spirit; love, joy, peace, but, this was a great church. We had a guest speaker that came in one time and taught us about the Holy Ghost gun. I'd never heard of the Holy Ghost gun. But this guest speaker said, you can shoot people with a Holy Ghost gun. And he would shoot people with this gun and this very charismatic church, they would fall to the ground. And I thought that was amazing. Until I realized the Holy Ghost gun's not in the Bible. Oh, I wish it were in the Bible. I wish I could shoot some of you with the Holy Ghost gun. It would be so much fun. But this was a great church. But that guest speaker told us something that wasn't in the Bible. Then I went to a small group, and in that small group, they talked about speaking in tongues, which, if you never heard of speaking in tongues, you've never heard someone do it, it's pretty cool. It sounds like some. And it's a spiritual language with a gift given by God, reconnect with God, and when done in church, there should be an interpreter and it can a powerful spiritual experience when done according to scripture. And at this small group with very sincere people that taught me a lot of things, they also taught me the way you speak in tongues, is to push on someone's belly, and then say, "I shot a pecan down," or, "You stole all my Honda," real fast, as they push on your belly. "I shot a pecan down. You stole my Honda". And so I did that when I met Amy because she didn't speak in tongues. So I pushed on her belly and I told her to talk about my Honda. True story. Dear God, somebody helped me get good theology. This was a great church. And these were great people, but there's no Holy Ghost gun and you don't need a Honda to speak in tongues. And so, as you go through life, you read a Bible, you pick up things. And some people add things. And we have our extremes. We have our narrow little things, and you know what, like some of you, I mean, it's all over the place. I mean, I could go on for hours. I mean, I apologize to pick on these things that may not be your things, but some of you, you can't go to movies or you can't dance. Or in some places you have to name it and claim it and see it and be it and blabbing and grab it. Or you have to vote blue if you're a Christian or you have to vote red if you're a Christian, and those other people probably aren't Christians, or you can't date in some Christian culture, or you can't listen to secular music in some culture, or you can't wear pants. And I may be clear and say that's women, men have to wear pants, but women, just so you know, just so I'll be clear, and women have to wear dresses, or maybe no makeup or no instruments in some place or instruments in some places. And if you don't have 'em, then you don't have the Holy Ghost, but if you do have 'em at some places, you have the devil. And you have to be baptized this way and you have to have communion every single week. You have to pray for an hour. And when I grew up, you had to say, "Amen" at the end of your prayers or you die and go to hell where the worm never dies and there's weeping and gnashing of teeth. And I could go on for hours. And one day you wake up, and you recognize that everything you believe about God may not be true. And when you discover parts of what you believe are not true, you don't have to leave the faith. You don't have to leave the faith. You let go of what's not true and you hold on to what is true. I'll give you an example. We have six children, four daughters, and three of my four daughters have health challenges. Heartbreaking. We found out years later, that for their whole childhood, they grew up in two rooms, side by side, infested with very dangerous mold, toxic substance that is not good for you. So what did we do? We deconstructed it. We tore out the bad and we rebuilt with the good. That's what we did. Just to be clear, our whole house wasn't bad. Just parts. So we didn't burn down the house. We just took out the parts that were not good. When you discover that something that you believe isn't true, you just unbelieve, you work to unbelieve, a sincere exploration to unbelieve what isn't true and hold on and pursue what is true. So how do you build your belief system? What you do, do it through the Bible. And you try to come to the Bible with the most sincere objective view to hear the heart of a loving God. And how do you do that? Because it can be confusing. My most simple advice for you, is to always read the Bible through the lens and love of Jesus. If you are stuck, if you have questions, just go to the gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, and live there. The Son of God, Jesus. Just live there. Look at how He loved. Look at who He loved. Look at how He treated the outcast, the lonely, the filthy, the sinners, the least of these. And you read the Bible through the lens of Jesus's love. And then one day you recognize, ah, I gotta be right. I gotta be right. I gotta be right. You recognize, yeah, as Christians, our real goal isn't just to be right. Our real goal is to be loving, just like Jesus was loving. And so let me go back to my agenda. Two groups of people. For those of you that are doubting, and maybe some of you, you're considering leaving the faith, or you love someone who is doubting or considering leaving the faith. Remember Peter, if you will. In many ways, Peter doubted. Peter denied. One commentary, I dunno if I agree or not. One commentary said he actually deconverted. And this was the argument: Three different times, not once, not twice, but three times, he did not have the faith to believe that Jesus was the Son of God and denied Him for his own selfish benefit. What was going on spiritually there? I can't name it. Was it a momentary doubt? Was it a full on denial? I don't know. But what I can tell you, is what Jesus did, how Jesus responded. In the same way that Jesus went to a doubting Thomas, Jesus initiated. In the same way that Jesus extended His hand to a sinking Peter, that same Jesus went to Peter after his doubts, after his denial, and three times, Peter denied Jesus. And three times, Jesus forgave him. "Do you love Me? Feed My sheep. Do you love Me? Feed My sheep. Do you love Me? Feed My sheep". And Peter would've known the story that when one sheep gets away, the Good Shepherd leaves the 90 and nine to go for the one, just like He might be coming for you today. And who did God choose to preach at Pentecost, the day that 3000 people were saved? Peter, whose faith was built after doubt. Proving that doubt is not the enemy of faith, but doubt is often an invitation into a deeper faith. And 30 years later, if you could imagine this, 30 years after he's forgiven by Jesus, Peter writes this: "For you were like sheep going astray, but now you've returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls". Who better to say this than a lost sheep who is rescued by the hand of Jesus in his doubts? Jesus knew first hand, the love, the grace, the mercy, that the Good Shepherd wasn't a conquering King, but a suffering servant who laid down His life. I can deal with the rest of the junk if I can just have that Jesus. That's how good He is, and that's why I follow Him.

So Father, we ask today that by the power of Your Holy Spirit, You would do a healing work today.

Wherever you're praying, those of you online, all of our churches, I'm gonna look for two groups of people and then a third. Those of you right now that, and I just want you to be honest in this season right now, you might have some real, some hurts, some situations that don't seem fair, some questions you can't seem to answer, you've got some spiritual stuff, some doubts. Would you raise your hands right now? Raise 'em up right now. Raise 'em up, raise 'em up. Those of you online, you can type in the chat: "I've got spiritual questions". You might say, "I've got spiritual hurts," whatever it is. Now, for those of you that are followers of Jesus and you want love those people and help those people, would you raise your hands right now. You can type that in the chat: "I wanna help. I wanna love".

God, thank You so much that we get to be Your body. That none of us are perfect and all of us need each other. And so I thank You that right now in this very imperfect church, we're Your body. And some of Your body is hurting right now, in the very same way I was hurting in seminary when I didn't know if I could trust You. And I thank you that Your church was there to help me process. I thank You that You gave me an invitation, that it wasn't an accusation and I didn't feel shamed. God, I thank You that right now, in our small groups, in our live groups, in our discussions, in our time between services, in our church, we can be a safe place to ask hard questions. I pray God for those who may be doubting, that they would recognize it, that doubt doesn't deny their faith. And God, we don't shame. We just keep pursuing You. We just keep showing back up. And as best we can, we keep searching and trusting and following You. And God, if there are some things along the way, we picked up some things that are not true, that are harmful, that are far from Your heart, God, give us the wisdom in a healthy community, to remove those things, to not believe them. So we can believe what is true. And Father, I pray there will be healing in community. In the same way we could be a blessing to help others heal, help us to have the faith to open up our lives and let them in to talk about the real things. Help us all to heal and grow closer to You in community.

As you keep praying today, some of you may doubt God. Some of you may doubt His involvement for you. Does He love you? And let me tell you what, there will never be a day where I'll be able to prove it to you. At some point, you're gonna have to either reject it or believe it by faith. And let me tell you clearly, it takes some faith. It takes some faith. The Bible says that we are saved not by our own efforts, not by our religious works, but only by grace through faith. And it takes faith. Let me tell you where you'll be putting your faith. You'll be putting your faith in a God who says He loves you. Who created you. And even when we stepped away from Him, even when we walked away from His ways, He continued to love us so much that He sent His Son Jesus, the perfect Son of God who was without sin, who died on a cross, became sin for us. God's son, God's son. That's how much He loved you. And God raised Him from the dead so that anyone that, and this includes you, doesn't matter what you've done, doesn't matter how big your doubts are, doesn't matter how dark your life is, anyone who calls on that name, the name of Jesus, that name that's that name, that name Jesus, who calls on Him, your sins would be forgiven and you would be made new. Listen, it's gonna take faith. Faith. You're saved, you're changed, you're new, not by religion, not by getting it right, not by perfect theology, but by faith in Jesus. This is Him. Here's the Son of God. He is so good. When you put your faith there, if you will, you'll be different. You'll be new. All of our churches, wherever you're watching, those of you, you're ready to take the step of faith. Peter got out of the boat. He walked on water. He took the step of faith. Wherever you are, I need His grace. I need His forgiveness. Today, by faith, I give my life to Him. If that's you, lift your hands high now. All over the place, lift them up. Oh, come on, somebody. Lift them. Right. Man, we thank God for you and all of our churches. Oh my gosh. Somebody worship God. We have people all over online. Just type in the comments section, "By faith, I give my life to Jesus". Just type it in, "By faith, I give my life to Jesus," and we're gonna pray. Would you just pray with me:

Father. Forgive my sins. Save me. I surrender. Be first, Jesus. Fill me with Your Spirit. So I can follow You. My life is not my own. Thank You for new life. By faith I give you mine. In Jesus' Name, I pray.