How many clicks does it take?

Intro

Picture Perfect week 2.

When I was 19 I was hanging out at the house with friends.

Someone knocked on the door. Hello??

Another “friend” was at the door. Unexpected. Not a close friend, but a friend.

He said, Hey can we talk a min.. yeah sure.

I just wanted to let you know, I don’t really know why, but I’ve never liked you..... Sorry.

WHAT IS THE RIGHT RESPONSE THERE!!!??

There is a desire in us all to want to be liked.

And sometimes we put a lot of effort into it.

We want to look just right, be just right. Appear all together and perfect. Often all for what you will think, so that you might like me and if enough of you like me, maybe I will..

(I know deep early)

Could our picture perfect obsession be a deep need for approval?

For Acceptance. Affirmation. Validation.

YOU WILL LIVE FROM APPROVAL OR FOR IT.

The difference is monumental.

can I be honest??

I tend to be a people pleaser. Approval Seeker.

I really want you to like me.

It’s great to feel affirmed and validated by others!

But Let’s look at a verse together.

Proverbs 29:25

“Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety.”

When does this need for approval become a problem?

Because there’s nothing wrong with liking being liked!

when does it become dangerous ground?

A trap?

When other people’s opinions become my motivation for all my decisions and dictate my responses.

I make decisions to do and not do things because of what others may say or think.

What others thought will determine how I feel and determines my mood and outlook.

We easily become affirmation junkies and approval addicts.

I don’t just enjoy your positive thoughts, I need it and will change me to get it.

Our Current culture has create the conditions for the excessive need for approval. Exponentially worse than ever.

so much so, that everything I do is determined by what others will see and think.

Have you ever posted something and got discouraged because, “that should have had way more likes than that!”

Or, one semi-negative comment completely hijacks your thoughts...

How about deleted a post because it didn’t get enough engagement?!?

2019 Harvard Study by Trevor Haynes revealed that a social media notification releases dopamine along the reward pathways in your brain to make you feel good!

Becoming too dependent has the same effects as a habitual gambler or as someone with a substance abuse problem.

(Show dog Clicker pic)

This is a dog training method.

We are literally being trained to NEED the approval of others to function in our own lives.

How many clicks does it take..

We all deal with this at some level.

We have an innate and inmost desire for approval.

It’s there, and by design.

First thing God the Father said to Jesus as he began his ministry at his baptism.

Matthew 3:17 (NIV)

And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”

Jesus said the first thing that we will hear when we enter heaven.

Matthew 25:23 (NLT)

“The master said, ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!’

Apostle Paul.

1 Thessalonians 2:4

“For we speak as messengers approved by God to be entrusted with the Good News. Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts.”

Already Approved.

Galatians 1:10

“Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.”

He’s not living to please God trying to gain approval, but through an approval he’s already got.

YOU WILL LIVE FROM APPROVAL OR FOR IT. NOT BOTH.

You will either live constantly trying to feel approved, or living from a place knowing you are.

God’s approval isn’t something you Achieve it’s something you Receive.

You can never find outside of God what is only available in him.

But the enemy want to take any things God gives and corrupt and distort it.

He wants you to live to try and gain what you’ve already got.

But it’s never found fully anywhere. Not online. Not in friends. Not from Parents. Boss or even spouse.

Proverbs 29:25

“Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety.”

Fearing People - Living For Approval.

Trusting God - Living From it.

Fearing People - Always uncertainty, am I enough, do they like me, what if I’m rejected.

Trusting God - I am already loved, I am accepted no matter, I am approved. My affirmation is settled.

Warning Signs of Living FOR Approval: (become an approval addict)

Constantly feel like you have to earn, strive and try harder. Never enough.

Easily Offended. (fragile emotionally)

Insecure.

Self Centered. Other’s opinions motivated not others focused.

Fear and Shame.

Jealous.

Constantly anxious. Never really feeling at rest, at peace.

Need to impress. Even fabricate.

Prentending.

Hiding flaws. (confess and be healed)

Can’t say no.

Emotionally Numb (sought approval never got)

Signs of living FROM approval

Living knowing your approved, validated and affirmed already.

Confidence.

Authority (you’ll seek after approval or walk in authority, not both)

Secure.

Content.

Restful, still, peaceful (be still and know)

if you live for people’s acceptance, you will die from their rejection.

-Lacrae

John 7:37-38

“Anyone who is thirsty may come to me! Anyone who believes in me may come and drink! For the Scriptures declare, ‘Rivers of living water will flow from his heart.’ ””

When we drink, we will need a drink again and again and again.

Especially impactful in a time without bottled and running water.

IN Me you don’t have to keep searching, earning, you can be fully satisfied.

Approval of others is the drink of salt water.

When you drink it actually makes you more thirsty and dehydrated. and is actually toxic and destroying you.

Let’s overcome our approval addiction.

How can we being to live FROM approval and not FOR it?

1. Realize it’s a worship Problem

What am I living to please?

Other’s or God?

Which one is more important to me?

The root is worship.

Worship is what get’s my attention, intention and affection. And gives my affirmation.

Matthew 6:24

““No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and be enslaved to money.”

Money here in greek isn’t just money, it’s the pursuit, accumulation and trust in more. Need more.

You become more like what you worship.

2. Begin with Repentance.

Repent is heard as a negative term but is such a positive thing.

Acts 3:19 (NIV)

Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord,

It simply means, change your mind and turn around.

Change your mind about where you get your approval.

God forgive me of what has gotten my attention.

I turn back to you.

So that refreshing can come!

3. Know you’re already approved

Ephesians 2:10

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”

When you’re living for others’ approval other than God’s your settling for being a commodity rather than masterpiece.

In God you are already loved, accepted, affirmed.

You are his son or daughter.

You have to just receive it.

Not are they pleased, but God are you?

4. Practice Trust in God over Fear of man

Psalm 118:6-9

“The Lord is for me, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me? Yes, the Lord is for me; he will help me. I will look in triumph at those who hate me. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in people. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes.”

From approval - Fear of Man.

Makes you hid. from your flaws, your insecurities, from negative appearances.

For Approval - Trust In God.

Allow you to hid in. Find safety and refuge in him.

Test everyday, where is my trust, why am I feeling like this, What is my center...

Protect, everyday, my motives and my reactions.

Practice!

CONCLUSION

this is the difference in FROM APPROVAL or FOR APPROVAL.

(show video)

Which on are you??

have you been an approval addict?

You will live from or for, not both.

Choose carefully.

some marriages represented that your pretending.

some overextended and you don’t know why you can’t say no.

some numb.

some hiding in need of healing.