Dating

Intro: This is going to be difficult, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t timely or unnecessary

Why do we date?

Examples

I want to convince you of something that every other source outside of the church will tell you is wrong. I want to tell you that the purpose of your dating life should be to find someone to marry.

Stats on Dating

Dating doesn’t lead to ultimate flourishing.

A university of Georgia study explains, “Non-dating students had similar or better interpersonal skills than their more frequently dating peers...teachers rated the non-dating students significantly higher for social skills and leadership skills than their dating peers. Students who didn't date were also less likely to be depressed. Teachers' scores on the depression scale were significantly lower for the group that reported no dating. Additionally, the proportion of students who self-reported being sad or hopeless was significantly lower within this group as well.”

Respect Your Parent’s Wishes on Dating

Ephesians 6:1-3 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.”

How to honor your parents within the context of dating

If they tell you not to date, then don’t date!

If you find yourself wanting to date someone, don’t just hide it, talk to your parents about it

They might not love it, but they will understand it.

And, if they respond with a “no” still, trust that they are doing this with the goal of your flourishing, and continue the conversation

There is a caveat for this

If your parents are calling you to sin, that is a time to politely disobey

This does not mean that you don’t respect them, rather, it means that you are incredibly respectful, but that you don’t compromise your faith in what you do.

Develop Boundaries in Dating

Have proper boundaries in dating

Don’t have the foundation of your relationship be physical affection

That isn’t the purpose of a relationship

You will always have to go further.

Dopamine pathways story

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 “Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

None of what the Bible saying love is is dependent on physical affection!

Don’t have sex before marriage

Hebrews 13:4 “Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”

Sex is reserved for marriage

Mark 10:6-9 ““But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, and the two shall become one flesh; so they are no longer two, but one flesh. “What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.””

Marriage is a beautiful thing, it is the joining of two souls together, and the specifics of marriage are beautiful

But, when you take the beautiful things of marriage and take them out of the context of an immensely committed relationship, you remove all boundaries that were put in place for your benefit!

Why do we need boundaries?

Teenage girls who are sexually active are 3.5X as likely to be depressed most of the time, and teenage boys who are sexually active are over 2X as likely to be depressed most of the time.

Doctor of adolescent medicine Meg Meeker writes, “Teenage sexual activity routinely leads to emotional turmoil and psychological distress. Sexual permissiveness leads to empty relationships, to feelings of self-contempt and worthlessness. All, of course, precursors to depression.”

Finally, because it runs against the will of God.

Our Satisfaction in Jesus

John 4:7–24 NASB95

There came a woman of Samaria to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give Me a drink.” For His disciples had gone away into the city to buy food. Therefore the Samaritan woman said to Him, “How is it that You, being a Jew, ask me for a drink since I am a Samaritan woman?” (For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.) Jesus answered and said to her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, ‘Give Me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water.” She said to Him, “Sir, You have nothing to draw with and the well is deep; where then do You get that living water? “You are not greater than our father Jacob, are You, who gave us the well, and drank of it himself and his sons and his cattle?” Jesus answered and said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will thirst again; but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.” The woman said to Him, “Sir, give me this water, so I will not be thirsty nor come all the way here to draw.” He said to her, “Go, call your husband and come here.” The woman answered and said, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You have correctly said, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; this you have said truly.” The woman said to Him, “Sir, I perceive that You are a prophet. “Our fathers worshiped in this mountain, and you people say that in Jerusalem is the place where men ought to worship.” Jesus said to her, “Woman, believe Me, an hour is coming when neither in this mountain nor in Jerusalem will you worship the Father. “You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews. “But an hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshipers. “God is spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.”

This woman made relationships the object of her life, and she was ashamed, alone, and empty.

She found herself filled up because of her relationship with Jesus

You don’t need to date to be valued

If you are dating, don’t think they will solve you

Be serious about dating, it’s a serious thing to consider