Hope is A Choice You Can Make

Show Video — Trading Bitterness for Peace

Life can turn tragic pretty quickly…21 years have passed since the terrorist attack on 9/11, but think with me how fast that day turned tragic for so many people…

the day began as an ordinary day…and then in a matter of hours thousands died…authorities say that 2,977 people died that day, including those on the airplanes and the pentagon. To this day, they are still working to identify the remains of others. It is said that 40%, or 1,106 people remain unidentified.

When life this side of heaven hits you hard like that, you find yourself at a crossroad…two paths to take…one path leads to anger and bitterness, the other to hope and peace…like Sujo in the video, you have to decide which path you are going to take...

with that in mind, please open your Bible to the book of Ruth...

Last week we started a new series entitled There is Always Hope…this is a verse by verse study of the book of Ruth…

Historical Setting

We discovered this story takes place “in the days when the judges governed”…

That was a dark time for the nation of Israel…it was a very difficult period for Israel because of the continued pattern of rebellion

Judges ends with a very sad commentary on the time… Judges 21:25 - In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did what was right in his own eyes.

Ruth is an actual historical account that happened in real time with real people. The narrator of the story gives us this account as God’s spokesman, giving us the details that are important and leaving out those that are not. It was an important detail to know that this was taking place during that dark time in Israel.

As I said, there are real people involved in this story.

a woman named Naomi, and her husband Elimelech and their two sons…Unhealthy and Puny...

they leave the city of Bethlehem in the land of Judah (House of Bread and Praise) and go to sojourn in the land of Moab because of a significant famine…

Physical famine — can imagine if everyone was doing that which is right in their own eyes there was no limit to the ends they would take to get food…they are no different than you and I would be in that situation…gotta eat, so do whatever is necessary to get food for you and your family.

Even worse than a physical famine, there was also a …

Spiritual famine — no pursuit of righteousness, no seeking after God and his kingdom principles, if it felt good to you, just do it!

This was not only true for Naomi and her family, it was true of the nation Israel.

All of which is pointing to this central theme of emptiness

Life for Naomi turned worse and it turned quickly.

The writer doesn’t tell us anything of what happened between the time they left Bethlehem and arrived in Moab…in just a few short words the narrator tells us Elimelech dies, and then after 10 years of marriage, her sons die…so by the end of verse 5, you have a woman who has lost her husband and her two sons, and she is left with two daughters - in - law… (in present day situations, this is where some would begin to insert mother-in-law jokes and all sorts of negative in-law thoughts arise)

So you have three women in the matter of a short time are widows…death is never easy…whether it is a spouse or children, but in that time, in that culture, the loss of your husband was a very significant loss!

What are they going to do now…is there any reason to hope? Will God provide?

We also learned last week that the ladies heard that God had provided food for His people back in Bethlehem, so they decided to go back there

but somewhere along the way [the text doesn’t say exactly where and when], Naomi sits down with her 2 Moabite daughters in law and tells them to go back to Moab, to be with their people, in their land, with their gods…

and she makes it clear in verse 9, that’s your best hope—finding a man to marry…- and it doesn’t matter what he believes, or who he worships…because the God of Israel has obviously abandoned me, and abandoned us…so we’re on our own…and the most logical thing to do is to find a man, and right now any old man will do…

Since this is mother’s day, let’s just pause for a moment and think about that counsel…from a mother - in - law to her widowed daughters - in - law…

they have been married to her sons for 10 years…remember her sons names, Unhealthy and Puny…so there is no doubt these women had a lot on their plates in taking care of their sickly husbands, her sons…and now they come to this place and they are probably asking Naomi for some insight and wisdom into what to do, how to handle this situation...

Listen to her counsel…forget about the last 10 years of your life, go back to your own people, go back to your own homes, to your own idolatrous faith, go find a man of your own people, regardless of who he worships or what he believes, my God is not big enough to solve our problems, so go back to yours!

Moms, what counsel are you going to give or are you giving to your children regarding the potential person they are going to marry? What counsel are you presently giving or planning to give to your children about how to view life and solving problems?

…it doesn’t matter what you believe, doesn’t matter if you both worship the God of the Bible or not, as long as you are happy, go marry whomever you want…you will not find solutions to life’s problems with God or in His Word…you need to find your own solutions.

…or is your counsel to them to search for godliness in the person, are you preparing them to be the godly spouse…are you communicating to them the importance of worship of God, the truth that there is no problem you will ever encounter that God can help you with....that God has solutions.

So look what happens next...Orpah, eventually follows Naomi’s counsel…returns to Moab and fades into oblivion…never hear if Orpah and Naomi ever saw each other again…

Let’s pick up the story at verse 16… Ruth responds to Naomi’s counsel…

read Ruth 1:16-22.

Main Point — When Life Leaves You Feeling Empty, Choose Hope!

What we are going to see in this text is a contrast between the two choices you can make when life hits you hard.

We want to answer the question here what are the two choices I can make and how will that impact me?

I. You Have the Choice of A Faithful Commitment.

both Naomi and Ruth have suffered unspeakable losses…both have lost their husbands, both have lost their wealth, both are suffering…regardless of who you think is suffering more, the suffering is very real...

The same is true of us and our time…regardless of the amount of suffering you have had to endure or will endure… you can still choose to be faithful...

Two important background ideas to keep in mind.

A central theme in this book is faithfulness.

Remember last week we pointed out the first use in this book of the great OT word “hesed” in verse 8 – may the Lord deal kindly with you…

that word means covenant faithfulness, loyalty,

We want to add to that understanding that it is the ability of a person to make a commitment and keep it…

so we have two legitimate questions that arise from this study:

Is God able to keep his promises to His people and is it reasonable and appropriate to find your hope in Him?

Will God’s people choose to be faithful to Him in response to His covenant love?

What Naomi was as an individual, Israel was as a nation.

That is why the narrator gave us that little phrase in verse 1 about this point in Israel’s history…everyone was doing that which was right in their own eyes because they had judged God to be unfaithful, unable to keep His promises to them…

in their mind, and in Naomi’s mind they drew the conclusion that they were on their own… God was not capable of being faithful to them, therefore they were not obligated to be faithful to Him…Find your hope somewhere else, but certainly not in a God who provides…

that was Naomi’s philosophy, and it was Israel’s also.

now, let’s think carefully about Ruth’s response to Naomi...read 16-18

Sometimes your choice to be faithful will stand against what others think you should do.

Ruth 1:16 - But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or turn back from following you…

she said to Naomi – I cannot do what you have asked me to do…

you’re telling me to go back to Moab and place my hope in finding a husband there regardless of what he believes...

No, I can’t do that, I won’t do that!

Life is full of all kinds of struggles and hardships and temptations...and this world and those around can provide you with all sorts of counsel and thoughts about how you ought to think and act...and you need to know that a decision to do what God wants, to be faithful to Him and live out the principles of His word…is not always going to be the popular choice, it is not always going to be easily accepted or appreciated...

some may even despise you for it...so a person decides he or she wants to be morally pure – but their boyfriend or girlfriend wants otherwise – choosing the path of being faithful to God is not universally appreciated…

Your faithfulness reveals the practical source of your hope.

Ruth saw the beauty of staying by Naomi’s side and trusting the LORD to provide.

v. 14 – Ruth clung to her…that’s the same word in Genesis 2:24 -- Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife…

there is great depth in the commitment Ruth chose to have for Naomi…think about what Ruth is going through here…four times Naomi counsels her to Return…Naomi’s position is – get away from me, I’m cursed, and if you hang out with me, you’ll be cursed as well…Ruth’s mother - in - law urged her to leave...in other words, God cannot provide for you if you stay in this relationship…our relationship needs to end, there is no solution to our problem!

the principle there is – generally speaking, people give up on relationships with one another too quickly…as if God cannot and will not provide…

not speaking about the situations that are abusive...

but far too many people cut off relationships if there’s some tension…or they cut off family members…or they quit that job, or they move away, or they leave the church…especially now in this day of social media and “unfriending”…

I haven’t seen it a while, but I love that Geico commercial where three elderly ladies are sitting in the living room drinking coffee or tea and there is this wall of pictures and one lady says something the other doesn’t like and then the owner of the wall of pictures takes her picture off the wall and says “I’m unfriending you”… to which she responds “it doesn’t work like that…that’s not how this works”

When problems arise in relationships the person who doesn’t want to work at solving the problems and restoring the relationship is screaming the message that we can’t find our hope in a God who will provide answers and strength as we try to solve these problems together…

Ruth was not afraid to make a commitment for life.

v. 16 – where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge…

Hebrew grammarians tell us the intent of the structure here is to communicate that I am committed to you forever…despite Naomi’s counsel...

She understood the relational implications of her choice.

1) To people – v. 16 – “your people shall be my people”

2) To God – v. 16 – “your God shall be my God.”

She understood that her greatest need was not to find some husband back in Moab…regardless of who he is or what he believes…

Ruth possessed a vibrant, robust faith in a God who was worthy of her trust, and she wanted to find her satisfaction in Him, and if necessary, Him alone…

What she does next is remarkable… she invoked a “self-imprecatory oath formula”

She recognized that her commitment was being heard and recorded by God Himself.

v. 17 – May the Lord do to me, and worse, if anything but death parts you and me.

Humanly speaking – her level of commitment to Naomi makes absolutely no sense…ladies if your mother - in - law was like Naomi, would you want to spend the rest of your life with her?

Ruth’s faith was so deep it didn’t matter if Naomi got it!…this was a statement of complete conversion…and then the rest of her life would matched this confession...she concluded that it was not only a commitment to Naomi, it was a commitment to God and that had far more weight than what Naomi believed or felt at that moment.

You Have the Choice of Bitter Conclusions.

see, what we read in verses 19-21 are conclusions Naomi has drawn about her situation…

These are not “bitter complaints”.

there is nothing wrong with crying out to God about the injustices you feel…there is such a thing as the theology of complaint…

but you can’t stop there…just like in Psalm 73, one of the greatest lament Psalms…the logical turning place is when he goes into the house of his God…

Psalm 73:17 “Until I came into the sanctuary of God; Then I perceived their end.”

complaints are fine if they eventually lead to the Word and other spiritual friends who can direct you to ways to find your comfort in the sustaining grace of God…

Naomi wasn’t there…at least not at this point of the book…instead she let her complaints, and her suffering, and her disappointments ferment into a heart filled with bitterness…let’s call that “settled bitterness”, bitterness that has taken root.

Notice her response to Ruth in verse 18...

Determined = strong = Ruth respectfully and lovingly stood up to her mother - in - law...and what did Naomi do…never said another word about it!

Notice with me what the narrator reveals about Naomi...

Bitterness allowed to take root and settle affects your appearance.

Ruth 1:19 “So they both went until they came to Bethlehem. And when they had come to Bethlehem, all the city was stirred because of them, and the women said, “Is this Naomi?””

It appears to me that some physical change had taken place because the women did not recognize her.

That’s what bitterness does to you...Sometimes you can just look at someone and say there goes a bitter person...I think these women were shocked at how badly Naomi looked, and there were probably a few in the crowd who explained their surprise to Naomi’s face…

that would explain Naomi’s incredible statement in verse 20…because…

Rooted bitterness impacts how you see yourself.

Ruth 1:20 - She said to them, “Do not call me Naomi; [remember we learned last week that the name Naomi meant “beautiful, pleasant, and good”] call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me.

Mara is the Hebrew word for bitter…

She allowed her bitterness to define her…since I’m so bitter, you might as well start calling me that…

for believers, we cannot allow our circumstances or sufferings to identify us…we are not to identify ourselves as “I’m depressed”, or that I’m abused, or that I’m having panic attacks…what is happening to you does not need to define you.

you have an entirely new, and an entirely different identity once you are in Christ…you and I need to see ourselves through the lens of 2 Cor. 5:17 “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.”....it is through that lens we learn to deal with depression, and deal with abuse, and deal with panic, etc…

Naomi made the critical mistake of defining herself apart from the person and work of her God…and who she could be because of His provision…

Rooted bitterness impacts how you view your circumstances, and ultimately your God.

what was her reason for requesting this name change?..

Ruth 1:20-21 - She said to them, “Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. “I went out full, but the Lord has brought me back empty. Why do you call me Naomi, since the Lord has witnessed against me and the Almighty has afflicted me?”

Perhaps there are some here today struggling with bitterness…

Please listen closely to the text here...

1. Bitter people often positively exaggerate their former circumstances.

v. 21 – I went out full…

no she didn’t---she and Elimelech went out because there was a famine in the land…

this sounds like the children of Israel during the wilderness wanderings---we wish we could be back in Egypt when things were going so well…

2. Bitter people fail to see the blessings right in front of them.

v. 21 – the Lord has brought me back empty

what is wrong with that?...who is right at her side?...who is literally cleaving to her, refusing to leave…

Ruth…in fact, if you think about that statement from Ruth’s perspective for a moment…it’s like, “hello, what about me…I may not be much but I’m better than empty…”

3. Bitter people only hear what they want to hear.

Eventually bitter people begin justifying the bitterness...

When someone says something that doesn’t fit their philosophy, the bitter individual mocks it, or discredits it.

“He/she not sincere, he/she has an ulterior motive

you never say “I love you”…few days later – “I love you honey”…you don’t mean it, you just want something…

There is no winning against a bitter person...

Ruth has just uttered once of the most profound expressions of hesed, covenant loyalty that is found anywhere in Scripture, at least from a human perspective…and there is no indication that Naomi listened at all to what was said…because it would not fit her worldview, her working theology

4. Bitter people are convinced the source of their bitterness is someone or something else.

Naomi blames God for her bitterness

a bitter husband could not name a positive trait of his wife…because he doesn’t notice them, he doesn’t think about them…because if he did---it would disqualify and threaten his bitterness…and the same is true for a bitter wife…

5. Bitter responses reveal the emptiness of the heart.

and I realize that we have people in our church family who have gone through, or who are going through significant difficulties…

but if Jesus died on the cross in our place, and rose again so that we could have the free gift of salvation in Him…then we can never say that our lives are entirely empty…and we can never argue that our bitterness is justified…

now, we need to end today by making a few comments in response to the phrase at the very end of the chapter… Ruth 1:22 - So Naomi returned, and with her Ruth the Moabitess, her daughter-in-law, who returned from the land of Moab. And they came to Bethlehem at the beginning of barley harvest.

Both Options Will Impact Your View of God and What He Does.

Naomi was blinded by her bitterness and couldn’t recognize or even rejoice in what God was going to do.

Naomi failed to see the power of Ruth’s commitment to her…Naomi failed to see God was with her and working on her behalf.

Her bitterness robbed her of hope…and it will rob yours too...listen to what the writer of Hebrews says…

Hebrews 12:15 - See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled;

Hebrews 12:15 NASB95

See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled;

Sometimes God uses a “Ruth” to get the attention of others.

Do you notice the specifics of verse 22…

Ruth 1:22 - So Naomi returned, and with her Ruth the Moabitess, her daughter-in-law, who returned from the land of Moab.

We already know that Ruth is from Moab…do we really need to be told that two more times at the end of the chapter? Why does the narrator do that?

Point here is that sometimes “Moabites” get it more rapidly than the people of God!

and that really ought to speak volumes to those who have known the Lord for many years and are still walking in bitterness…or searching for solutions apart from their relationship with God and His Word…somehow over the course of time, believers become convinced their problem is too big for God and they turn to man’s philosophies and man’s solutions, instead of going after discovering what God says about them and their problem...

Ruth’s response can also be a potential source of encouragement to the new believer who has not known the Lord very long, but who is willing to make commitments that only make sense if we truly can find hope in a God who provides.

Life Lessons

On this mother’s day, we have seen a contrast between these two women…so ladies who do you want to be most like? Men who are you encouraging your wife to be like? Do you want to be a Ruth or a Naomi?

Faithfulness leads to greater blessings.

Ruth chose faithfulness, and would become a mom later in the story, and be a role model of the Proverbs 31 woman…she would also become the grandmother of Israel’s greatest earthly king…David…and even more importantly, God rewarded her faith with the blessing of inclusion in the family line of the Messiah...

2. Bitterness blinds you from seeing God at work both now and in the future.

Naomi made bitter conclusions that blinded her to the reality of God’s hand in her life…she was blinded by bitterness to the point it skewed her thinking to the degree she identified herself more with her emptiness than her God…Her bitterness blinded her from providing any godly counsel to her daughters - in-law of a future hope...she was blinded to the blessing of the people God placed right in front of her.

Let’s be thankful for those ladies in our life who choose the path of Ruth…who are faithful to God and to us and because of them we are blessed.

Let’s encourage those who are choosing bitterness to choose hope instead by looking up and seeing the goodness of God at work in every situation.