Mothers Day Celebration 05-07-22

Egalitarian and Complementarian

Egalitarian

When you hear the word Egalitarian, just think equal, the goal of the Egalitarian is to make things equal and to keep things fair.

There are lots of ways we can do that, but one thing that is not fair

One thing that I don’t expect to ever change is

Only true women, biological women can have babies.

and only men, biological men can father babies.

Complementarian

A complementarian says that men and women are equal but have:

different roles,

different giftings and

different abilities that

tend balance each other.

Kids with only one parent,

often have a family that is out of balance,

too much discipline without enough love or

too much love with out enough rules and structure.

Illus. I found this Englishmen on Socrates in the City which is a talk show base in New York City.

I think they started as a radio talk show and now make videos too.

So Eric Metaxas took his show to Oxford England to do some live interview and video tape them at Oxford.

He interviewed among other people, Canon J. John. Canon is an Englishman with Greek heritage. He is a pastor, a theologian an apologist for Christ.

So I followed his you tube videos for a while.

In one of those videos, I don’t remember which, Canon tells about his church looking at the role of women,

full time christian workers in his church.

There was a disagreement going on between the Egalitarian pastors that said

everything should be fare. These paid women leaders in the church should be recognized with ordination not just commissioning.

They are people just like us

called to serve god, just like us men,

they should be ordained.

The Complementarians pastors said,

they are called by god,

they have roles to play in the church but we don’t think

their roles include the ordained senior pastor.

Let’s stick with commissioning.

As the tide of opinions, the ebbs and flows of thoughts in Canon’s denomination moved to fully ordaining women,

opening all jobs to them and they set up a special day to honor and ordain a first group of women.

All this based on the Egalitarian ideal that “We are all the same in God’s eyes”

Galatians 3:28 NIV

28 There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

They scheduled a special service for the first installation of women as ordained pastors.

They asked a famous and accomplished nun to give the message at the evening service that night.

She more or less said

What they were doing was wonderful,

to represent God in the churches through the work of men made in God’s image and

through the work of women made in God’s image because both sexes represent the

image of God and only working together do we see the who picture.

At least that is what I got from hearing Canon describe it.

It’s so ironic

The fairness people got the women ordained on the argument because women they are the same as men

And the guest speaker said this is great because they are different then men!

As it says in God’s word

Genesis 1:27 NIV

27 So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

If we see God 100% as laws, rules, Justice and wrath

we will have a warped picture of God!

But If we see God 100% as loving and kind,

never sending anyone to Hell

we also have a warped picture of God too.

So today we are leaning more toward complementarian idea that

in general men and women are each best in some areas and not so good in others

we are going to look at and honoring the role of Mothering and Motherhood

we are going to honor The Women, and sometimes Men that have, or that are

fulfilling that role in lives around us, young and old.

Some Good Christian homes are run very Egalitarian, splitting up the work load of cloths, food, child care very evenly

Some other Good Christian homes are very much Complementarian.

I like some aspects of everything equal but in reality

Pam has thrived in some areas and I have thrived in others.

I file the taxes

I do the online banking

Pam pays the bills

Pam does most of the cooking

In fact, too often, we come home from doing something,

or come in from working outside, and

I’m ready for a break.

In half an hour I’ll think about getting up and fixing something

if I need to but usually.

There are weeks, that if I had to cook

the sermon would have been the thing that was half baked.

I value her hard work.

Sometimes I marvel how she can cook when I need a break.

I think a 100% completely equal divisions of labor ignores our gifting, our strength, our loves and our weaknesses!

Likewise 100% Complementarian approach to family could be faulty because

our idea of gender roles was made up by fallible men and women.

My friend, Pastor Rolland Ward loved to cook.

But if he was a young man in middle school today,

I am certain he would wrongly be labeled gay.

What if a young man wanted to learn to sew.

He would really be labeled gay and that is just wrong.

That’s a crazy expectation.

It isn’t alway the man who should repair things

My sister was a better handyman around the house then most of the men she married.

It isn’t always the women who should cook.

Each family has to work out who does what and have a good reason for it.

In the mode of Complementarian roles, lets talk about mothers this morning as we try to

lift them up and honor them from a biblical understanding.

Heritage of Mothers

All had mothers

Good,

mediocre and

bad mothers

Sometimes I think about my Betty mom and think how her volatility,

her highs and lows controlled me and I sometimes I want to call her a bad mother!

Other times I think of the sacrifices she gave me,

even financial help as a young couple,

with debt forgiveness and I think, she was a great mom

In reality, she was somewhere in between.

Likely, that is were your mom is or was too.

Types of mothers

Birth mother- we all have one,

but we don’t tend to call them that unless we were adopted out

Adopted moms

Step moms

Surrogate moms

Many adults have other ladies in their lives that are a mother to them.

My sister used to talk to a mom down the street when she didn’t want to talk to mom.

Today, my sister seems to be a mother to more women then her actual family too.

Sometimes these extra mothers are a great help

Sometimes it was unwanted help

I remember a boss who was getting too much into my life and I thought

I don’t need another mother, thank you!

Of course at the time I didn’t say anything.

Best homes situations

A Mother and a Father

We really need both

And some people moved with compassion have been

big brother/ big sister to complete strangers kids,

to help make a difference in a kids like when there was only one parent.

Our missionary Gordon Elliott used to do that as a young adult,

before he moved away into foreign missions.

In general dad’s and grandpa’s are more living examples of Gods justice, the giver of laws and rules

we need laws and rules and structure in our lives

In general moms, grandmas etc. are more examples of God’s Mercy and His Grace.

We all need mercy and grace in our lives

God knew that a nursing mother was a great picture of love

so he said in his word

Isaiah 49:15 NIV

15 “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!

It’s an almost impossible thought that a women could forget the child she is nursing

or have no compassion for a child she bore

It would be more impossible for our Father God, to forget us.

Both Law and love are attributes of Gods character

We need both in our lives

A child without expectations is unruly, selfish, entitled

A child without Mercy and Grace is damaged too.

From what I have read,

there is a messed up,

harsh,

critical mother behind

nearly every gay guy.

There may be many other factors, but moms play a roll in their boys mental outlook.

A study in 2014 lists 5 ways moms influence our

Brains,

Attitudes and

Resilience

5. Talking to mom can change how you see a situation

Talking with mom just my help you take the lemons you get in life and make lemon-aid out of them.

4. A moms voice activates the brain

Brain scans show that little children prefer the sound of their own mothers voice over others.

3. The neural connection between moms and babies makes a Mega-Network

When a mom’s emotional state is positive, scans of the mom and babies brains will look similar

As I skimmed the article in sounded like they scanned them both at the same time and compared the maps of brain activity

2. Positive relationships with a mother can benefit a child throughout a lifetime

How?

Stay in school longer

Have better episodic memory

Have better marital satisfaction in adulthood

1. Moms can literally change your brain

Maternal support affects brain size

A child with good mothering will grow a larger, more capable brain then

a child with poor motherly support.

Isn’t that amazing?

The researchers concluded

we should do what we can as a society to foster parenting skills because

clearly nurturing has a very, very big impact on later development.

How can we Honor our Moms?

We can directly honor them.

And we can honor them indirectly

How would you honor them directly?

Ephesians 6:2–3 NIV

2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”

How can we do that?

Directly with Cards, letter, phone calls and visits.

We honored my birth father and his wife by coming to his funeral.

Spending time with her and the whole family.

How can we honor them indirectly?

We can honor them by how we live

Here are some scriptures.

Proverbs 1:8 NIV

8 Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.

So do the right thing

make good choices

Here is another

Proverbs 31:1 NIV

1 The sayings of King Lemuel—an inspired utterance his mother taught him.

That the chapter that mostly tells about a virtuous women, who can find.

who by the way represents a goal to shoot for,

not the norm.

Some of us could say,

DAVE

You don’t know my mother!

You are right, I probably don’t know your mother,

but I know something about

The power that comes from an honoring attitude

and honoring cultures.

illus1

An outstanding Christian couple at a Christian College or Bible School in Redding CA.

leaders in the school,

messed up one summer and got pregnant.

They knew they did wrong

they returned to school fully expecting to be kicked out

that is what the rules said would happen.

they expected to be shamed,

never returning to church or God.

but they met with a culture of honor they didn’t expect

the school could see,

these kids were not callus sinner ready to go on Crucifying Christ all over again and again

with their bad behavior (Heb 6:6)

these young parents were followers of Christ who

like Peter were remorseful after failing God,

they would do much much more for God,

and be blessed so much more by God

if they were honored, not publicly dishonored.

And that is what happened, according to the school rules, they deserved to be kicked out,

but they were blessed with grace, mercy and supported instead.

God was glorified in their lives as they grew past their insecurities

that were behind their selfish sinful behaviors.

illus 2 In the movie

I can only Imagine

True story of Bart Millard the lead singer in MercyMe

His father was abusive

he deserved no honor as a dad

but Bart chose to honor him and that

brought dignity and healing to his dad and their relationship.

Did Arthur Millard, his dad, deserve to be honored?

No, he was a pretty bad dude.

But following God’s commandment, Bart honored his dad.

That action, changed Bart’s relationship with his dad forever.

and changed his dad too.

So consider giving Honor beyond what your mom or dad deserves!

In second Timothy, Paul says this to his son in Christ

2 Timothy 1:5 NIV

5 I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.

Timothy learned to reverence God and to believe in God because of the faith of

Lois - his grandmother and

Eunice - his mother.

Yet the bible also says that King Ahaziah

1 Kings 22:52 NIV

52 He did evil in the eyes of the Lord, because he followed the ways of his father and mother and of Jeroboam son of Nebat, who caused Israel to sin.

Parents,

mom’s

be careful what you teach your kids.

One of the first anti smocking adds I ever say,

showed a man who was doing stuff with his son,

painting the house

and the little boy is pretending to paint

narrator says

Like Father, like son

driving the car

and the little boy is pretending to drive the car

narrator says

Like Father, like son

washing the car

and the boy tries to help wash it too

narrator says

Like Father, like son

then the dad sits down to have a smoke and

when the child reaches for the cigarettes

narrator says

Like Father, like son

What was the message

That our kids imitate what they see us doing

one of the many ways parents, grandparents

mom’s foster moms, aunts and great aunts

influence our lives.

How can we honor them

Should we honor them,

what if they are not worthy?

None of us is worthy of the honor, grace and mercy God gives us

Many stories of abuse recovery include

the victim choosing to honoring parents beyond what they deserve.

that takes forgiveness,

It’s good for the victim and good for the remorseful abuser.

Friends,

Church Family

I want you to know

There is someone who loves you more than your mother and deserves a stronger response of Love and Honor

That person is Jesus Christ our Lord and savior.

Jesus said some strong words,

Matthew 10:37 NIV

37 “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

So what can we do

We can honor God

Which in turn can change our hearts

Make it easier for us to love our moms and dads warts and all.

Then, with His power and strength

we can honor those who don’t deserve honoring.

Not necessarily trust

We can honor our parents,

more than they deserve

We can love our kids

more than they desire

As we thrive in the lavish love the Father has poured out on us.

Paul Overstreet and Tanya Tucker wrote a song some years ago called

i won't take less than your love

It begins like this.

"How much do I owe you?" said the husband to his wife,

"For standing beside me through the hard years of my life.

"Shall I bring you diamonds, shall I buy you furs?

"Say the word and it's yours.

And his wife said: "I won't take less than your love, sweet love.

"No, I won't take less than your love.

"All the riches of the world could never be enough,

"And I won't take less than your love."

The song continues with a devoted son asking

"How much do I owe you?" to the mother said the son.

"For all that you have taught me in the days that I was young.

"Shall I bring expensive blankets to cast upon your bed?

"And a pillow for to rest your weary head."

And the mothers aid: "I won't take less than your love, sweet love.

"No, I won't take less than your love.

"All the comforts of the world could never be enough,

"And I won't take less than your love."

The last chorus is a man to his Lord

"How much do I owe you?" said the man to his Lord.

"For giving me this day and every day that's gone before.

"Shall I build a temple, shall I make a sacrifice?

"Tell me Lord and I will pay the price."

And the Lord said: "I won't take less than your love, sweet love.

"No, I won't take less than your love.

"All the treasures of the world could never be enough,

"And I won't take less than your love."

Lets try to sing verse 3 and Chorus 3 before I close in prayer

And think about how you can honor your mother today

And how you can honor God every day.

Let’s sing

Verse 3

"How much do I owe you?" said the man to his Lord.

"For giving me this day and every day that's gone before.

"Shall I build a temple, shall I make a sacrifice?

"Tell me Lord and I will pay the price."

Chorus 3

"I won't take less than your love, sweet love.

"No, I won't take less than your love.

"All the treasures of the world could never be enough,

"And I won't take less than your love."

Let’s Pray