The Beauty of Submission | Ephesians 5:15–33

Submission is not a popular word in our society. We live in a world where individualism

1. We are to submit to God in our Worship.

2. We are to submit to one another in the body out of reverence for Christ.

Members of the church who refuse to submit to the wisdom of the BODY are not following the Spirit. This does not mean that body is always right, but what it does mean that we must trust that the Holy Spirit is moving his body for his purposes.

Submission is always subject to scripture.

Here's the principle: If something doesn't violate scripture then we submit; if it does we reject and push back.

3. Wives are to submit to their husbands in marriage as a picture of our submission to Christ.

f we are filled with the spirit, we will be harmoniously related both to God and to each other.

but this does not mean that we submit in the same way to each other. As a citizen I submit to the Police department in my town, the US government in federal matters, etc.

As a pastor, I submit to Christ as the head of the church.

As a husband, I submit to the leadership of elders in the body and to the scriptures, and ultimately to Christ.

"Now how do we flesh that out? Paul says that there is a certain structure which God has ordained, by which wives have to be in submission to their husbands, children to their parents.

This passage should put to rest once and for all the myth that marriages are to be fifty-fifty. I can’t think of a worse scenario for a marriage than to have the authority in that relationship divided equally. When two people are together like that, then nobody has any authority. You are in a perpetual power-struggle where one is trying to get control of 51% of the stock. And that can be exceedingly destructive to a family."

Dr. Wayne Grudem, in a careful study of 2,336 instances of kephale from classical Greek literature — all the non-classical references from Philo, Josephus, the Apostolic Fathers, the Epistle of Aristias, the Testaments of the Twelve Patriarchs and Aquila, Symmachus, and Theodocian, says, “No instances were discovered in which kephale had the meaning ‘source, origin.’”

Moreover, during Paul’s time, Philo of Alexandria made a statement which clearly explains that head means authority:

Just as nature conferred the sovereignty of the body on the head when she granted it also possession of the citadel as the most suitable for its kingly rank, conducted it thither to take command and established it on high with the whole framework from neck to foot set below it, like the pedestal under the statue, so too she has given the lordship of the senses to the eyes.

Finally, “head” has to mean authority here in its context. F. F. Bruce says, “But in this context the word ‘head’ has the idea of authority attached to it after the analogy of Christ’s headship over the church.” Head has a clear enough connotation in English as in head of a corporation or head of a university — the authority over, the leader.

What does the headship in marriage call a husband to do or be? Servant-leadership. Verse 23 says Christ is the Savior of the Church, of which he is Head, and thus follows by analogy the conclusion that the husband is to exercise his headship with a Savior-style servant-leadership. He must lead with the kind of love that is willing to die. Jesus said, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45, NASB). And again he said, “Let him who is the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as the servant” (Luke 22:26, NASB).

God help the man who thinks his headship is a license for dominance or lordship. Headship has definite limits. It can never command what God forbids or forbid what God commands. It can never be used selfishly. The Haustafel enjoins reciprocal duties. Husbands are to love their wives, parents are to care for their children, masters are to treat their slaves well. There is no room for tyranny — “Me Tarzan! You Jane!” — no bullying.

Now when the husband is called “the head of the wife,” and it goes on to say “as Christ is the head of the church” (Ephesians 5:23), something of the divine splendour is reflected in our earthly relationships, and this reflection we should recognize and honour. The dignity that is here ascribed to the man lies, not in any capacities or qualities of his own, but in the office conferred on him by his marriage. The wife should see her husband clothed in this dignity. But for him it is he who is responsible for his wife, for their marriage, and for their home. On him falls the care and protection of the family; he represents it to the outside world; he is its mainstay and comfort; he is the master of the house, who exhorts, punishes, helps, and comforts, and stands for it before God. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

R. Kent Hughes, Ephesians: The Mystery of the Body of Christ, Preaching the Word (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books, 1990).

4. Husbands are to submit to Christ and love their wives as Christ loved the church.

But before we go on, what is the nature of that headship that the scripture gives to the man? Is it a dominance?

No, it's a happy submission. It's a recognition and appreciation of the great and grave responsibility lain on the head of the husband. It is a foolish man who sees his authority as something to Lord over his wife because that authority is a reflection of Christ's authority over the church and carries with it the same duty: To give one's life for her.

True biblical submission is the outpouring of a life dedicated to the good of another.

Notice the duty:

"That he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish."

Husbands, it is your duty to tend to and care for the spiritual maturity and development of your wife and children. Your primary duty is not just to put bread on the table but to put Christ in the hearts of your family.

Only a fool reads these words and thinks this is a license to be a tyrant. This means that God has given the husband authority as his representative in marriage. This isn't a power given to bludgeon, but a responsibility meant to be wielded in humility and LOVE.

Listen husband, Christ holds YOU responsible for the spiritual maturity of your family. It's not your wife's duty to take your kids to church, it's yours. It's not your wife's duty to lead in prayers, it's yours. It's not your wife's duty to lead in family devotionals, it's yours. And while it is quite alright for a wife to be a part of these things, even to lead in a family quiet time, or lead in prayer, she is not responsible to see them done, YOU ARE; and you will answer to God for how you've stewarded his bride.

If we spent as much time talking about Jesus with our kids and wives as we did watching tv, going hunting, playing games, tending our yards, playing golf or any other of a number of activities our families would be better for it.

And wives you should DEMAND spiritual leadership from your husbands. Submission does not mean as a wife you sit idly by as your husband leads poorly. You are his help-meet.

Questioning his reasoning or acquainting him with his error is not evidence of a rebellious spirit, but rather of love. Refusing to support his moral folly is not sin. A Christian wife can stand with Christ against her husband with a humble, loving spirit which indicates her longing to honor his headship. The attitude is, of course, key.

R. Kent Hughes, Ephesians: The Mystery of the Body of Christ, Preaching the Word (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books, 1990), 185.

Marriage is exalted because it is a picture of Christ and his Church. And families we should take that seriously.

As R. Kent Hughes notes, "The loving husband is like Christ. The submissive wife is like his glorious Church. What a mystery! What a marvel!"