A Wise Woman

Proverbs 31:10–31 ESV

10 An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. 13 She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. 14 She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. 15 She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. 16 She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. 17 She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. 18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. 19 She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. 20 She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. 22 She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. 23 Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. 25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. 26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. 27 She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29 “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” 30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.

Happy Mothers Day!

To all those who are biological, adoptive, or selective - those of you who choose to care for your family, thank you.

Men, I also know days of celebration can sometimes be daunting to us. Although the only person we usually shops for is our wife, it can be a terribly stressful experience. I would like to read to you some great advice from a man who has experience. Herb Forst in Reader's Digest, (with some modification).

What NOT to Buy Your Wife:

Although the only person a man usually shops for is his wife, the whole experience is a stressful one. Many a man has felt extreme frigid temperatures for a long period of time based on a poor present decision. As a veteran of these wars, I'm still not sure what to buy my wife, but I'll pass on what not to buy her:

1. Don't buy anything that plugs in. Anything that requires electricity is just not acceptable. 2. Don't buy clothing that involves sizes. The chances are one in seven thousand that you will get her size right, and your wife will be offended the other 6999 times. "Do I look like a size 16?" she'll say. Too small a size doesn't cut it either: "I haven't worn a size 8 in 20 years!" The worst is the look of “you poor thing, I wouldn’t wear that if someone PAID me”. 3. Avoid all things useful. The new silver polish advertised to save hundreds of hours is not going to win you any brownie points. 4. Don't buy anything that involves weight loss or self-improvement. She'll perceive a six-month membership to a diet center as a suggestion that's she's overweight. 5. Don't buy jewelry. The jewelry your wife wants, you can't afford. And the jewelry you can afford, she doesn't want. 6. Finally, don't spend too much. "How do you think we're going to afford that?" she'll ask. But don't spend too little. She won't say anything, but she'll think, "Is that all I'm worth?"

Now I hope this helps you men, if you haven’t bought anything for Mother’s Day yet (ahem, ahem).

As I was thinking of what God wanted me to bring as a Mother’s Day message this year, Proverbs 31 kept coming to remembrance. As we look at the list of attributes of this woman, it may be overwhelming, and to a level that no one could feel they would ever achieve. However, we should not look at this as a measuring stick in which all women are measured, but the goal where all should be moving.

Husbands, kids, you all also contribute to the successfulness of mom. Men, does our walk with God support or detract from your wives success? Kids, do you see the sacrifices mom makes and regard her as the blessing she is? The role and influence of mothers are frequently stressed in Scripture, and their care for children is used as a picture of God’s care for his people. So, we should view our relationship with her in the same way we view our relationship with Christ.

I want us to look at the attributes of this Godly woman, wife, mother, and how she honors her family, and ultimately God.

Precious and Rare

Proverbs 31:10–12 ESV

10 An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.

When looking at this word used to describe this particular wife, (hayil) is translated as excellent, strong, valiant. It is often used to describe a warrior in their efforts in battle. Having a wife who will battle for her family in an excellent, strong, and valiant way is truly rare. She is described as being far more precious than jewels.

Men, when we find the “one”, we know there is nothing like them. Sometimes it’s a long hard road, sometimes we are clueless, sometimes they are clueless, but when you find your God-sent soulmate, you know. They do exist, if we are faithful to pray for and seek her out. We can’t explain it, but we know. That is where we see this explanation. Think for example, if diamonds were easily found, would they still be valuable? We know the answer is no, and we treasure her as a rare gift from God.

When this type of relationship exists, there is a complete trust. Never having to worry about where her heart lies. She is totally committed to her family. As a result, she builds him up - she completes him, and he is happy.

Now, before I get rocks thrown at me, please understand this is only a pattern. Not every woman will do everything in the exact same way as this woman did. Time has passed since this time, things have changed, and you are not a failure if you do not do everything in this passage. However, we should not forget that Godly virtues and characters don’t change. To be a model wife and mother, you must first be a Godly woman.

Provider

Proverbs 31:13–16 ESV

13 She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. 14 She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. 15 She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. 16 She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.

A Godly mother provides for her family. We see her providing clothing. As a loving mother, dressing your children in clothing that is clean and neat is not a testimony of your economic standing, but of qualities that are far more important. You instill in your children dignity and self-respect by the way you clothe them.

She provides food. In this particular example, she goes far and wide to find food to provide nourishment. Like weaving and sewing her family’s clothing, making meals for them is a joy for her and gives her great satisfaction. Even more so today, to hold a full time job and still provide meals requires effort and sacrifice. Unfortunately, foods that are “convenient” but not nutrition are also available. Choose wisely what you feed your family.

She rises early to make breakfast. She made sure her family started the day with a meal, and had to be up early to do so as most of the men started work at sun break in order to get the chores done before the heat of the day.

She plans the days work for her and her servants. Her task may have not been cooking in particular, but planning the meals and securing the food so the servants could prepare it. Today, we see he need for planning. Communication seems to be a struggle at times with couples and families. We tend to get so busy we are occupied with our own jobs and schedules that we sometimes forget we are not the only one. As the kids get older, scheduling becomes more critical as you may be split in different directions. One word of advice, though, don’t neglect your time together as a family.

She manages the household well. She labors in the field, has a good sense of business, invests and contributes to the financial wellbeing of her family. Now notice the example here - she uses her money from her sales to buy her field and plants her vineyard. She provided for her family and could sell the excess for a profit. Today, you have to make wise investments in your family. Sometimes that is working, sometimes that’s staying at home. Whatever you do, though, contribute so that your family profits.

Hard Worker

Proverbs 31:17–25 ESV

17 She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. 18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. 19 She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. 20 She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. 22 She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. 23 Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. 25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.

Throughout Proverbs, laziness is one of the most talked about and ridiculed practices. A wise woman could not be accused of being lazy. Hard work is something none of us should be scared of. While she is a woman’s woman, she’s not pampered or delicate, she is a hard worker. Her lamp does not go out at night points to a mother who works late at night so she can have product to sell.

While the rest of the family may sleep, she continues to work.

Why would she stay up all night? Simply to provide for the family she loves. Notice she does not procrastinate (not afraid of snow for her household for all her household are clothed”. She has taken care of the immediate needs, but also the future needs of her family.

Why does she do these things? Because she loves her family, she WANTS to provide for her family, and because her family supports her. Because of her diligence, both she and her husband are known by other in the community. Notice it says her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. Her husband is successful because of her support at home. They complete each other, they support each other. They compliment each other. They work as a team that cannot be divided or defeated. They are who they are individually because of who they are as a couple. But never forget, the true success is that they both seek the Lord. By truly seeking the Lord, then the confidence to face each task day by day grows and the future can be looked at with confidence.

Wise

Proverbs 31:26–29 ESV

26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. 27 She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29 “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.”

Wisdom is a noble virtue. Notice, when a Godly woman speaks, only wisdom comes out. She doesn’t speak with malice or ill intent. Not only do they speak wisdom, but they teach wisdom to their children. We should always want what is best for our children, and we should look to encourage them and correct them appropriately. Love them, and allow them to come to you with anything, at any time, and without being condemned.

The actions of a righteous, Godly woman does not go unnoticed. Both her children and her husband praise her. Moms, persevere with your young children. When they’re older they will speak nothing but honor and praise for you when they are older. In the end, your husband will love you more for it, and will publicly praise you. You are blessed by your family because of your relationship with God. By seeking Him in everything you do, you ARE the super mom.

Faithful to God

Proverbs 31:30–31 ESV

30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.

Notice this model mothers life is focused on success through her faith in God. She finds her favor with God, not in her looks or even her personality. Many people master the smooth talk to betray others just so they can get what the want. This is not the picture we see of a Godly woman. She has honor, integrity, loyalty, goodness, diligence, compassion, strength, confidence, modesty, and ALL of this comes from her relationship with God.

The secret of wisdom—skillful, successful living—can be reduced to one thing: a reverence toward Jehovah that leads to establishing a relationship with Him through His Son, which in turn results in living in submissive, obedience to His commands.