Love is Not...

Alright, we are continuing in What’s Love Got To Do With It? this week.

When I sort of mapped out how I wanted to go through this series I put down that last week we were going to cover both Love is Patient and Love is Kind. But as you remember last week, Love being Patient was a little slower than expected... It’s a pretty big topic! And to recap for the sake of keeping these questions we asked in the front of our mind as we are looking at what Paul writes about love in 1 Corinthians, we are asking ourselves 4 questions to expand upon this topic of love.

/ / Have you, or how have you experience God loving you by being patient toward you?

/ / Are you patient with God?

As you wait on Him to act in your life, fulfill promises, act upon the word of God that we read and the scriptures we talk about, as we wait, as sometimes it seems to take longer than we want, are we patient in the process? Exercising our faith, encouraging ourselves in faith.

Romans 15:13 says, / / I pray that God, the source of hope [a confident expectation in a positive outcome], will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.

The ESV says it this way, / / May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace IN BELIEVING.

The word believing is the greek word pisteuo, which means more than just to believe something. It means to have faith. It’s the word we’ve talked through since Easter when we ask, What does it mean to believe in Jesus Christ: / / To believe in Jesus is to commit to Him, to follow Him, to entrust our lives to him.

Believing in Jesus isn’t just saying it, or holding the thought about it, it is that very thing being evident in our lives. So in our believing, are we learning to be patient toward God, as we fulfill the great commandment, to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind & strength?

/ / Are we patient with ourselves? Are we patient with others?

Looking at both of those together because Jesus says in Matthew 22:36-40 that the greatest commandment in all of the law is to love the Lord, but then says in vs 39, / / A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.

So, loving God, loving people, loving ourselves - everything God has set out to accomplish will be accomplished through those three things.

And this scripture is going to continually be coming up in this series -Jesus, in giving his disciples a new commandment, says in John 13:34, / / Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.

So, like Jesus loves - and Jesus is God - is how we are meant to love. In the same way God loves us. This is why 1 John 4:9 reminds us, We love each other because he loved us first, / / Loving others doesn’t start with loving others - it starts with us learning how to receive God’s love.

And that is true of loving ourselves as well.

Ok, So those questions we’re keeping in the back of our minds throughout this series on love and what love is

/ / How does God love us in this way?

How do we love God in this way?

How do we love ourselves in this way?

How do we love others in this way?

Like I said, I was going to try and get through Love is Patient AND Kind, last week, but we didn’t quite get there. And I don’t want to skip over Kind, but I do want to keep moving forward this morning, so let’s just say this, in all of the ways we looked at last week, ask what kindness truly is, and if that is expressed in your life toward God, yourself and others, and if not, maybe what is needed is you to truly experience the kindness of God in your own life.

Now, this is exactly like patience. God isn’t trying to be kind, it’s just his very nature. It’s who he is. He doesn’t ever separate himself from kindness. He doesn’t have to force himself to be that way. If you have encountered God, you have encountered Love and you have encountered kindness.

The one thing I do want to touch on this morning is that there is kind of an idea that because God is love, and He is patient and kind, that he’s not concerned with how we live our lives. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. In the book of Romans Paul tackles this issue of sin and how we aren’t the best at following God’s guidance and Romans 3:23 says, we’ve all sinned, we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.

But in Romans 2 he says, listen, you want to condemn and judge the people who have failed, who sin, who fall short of God’s glorious standard, but here’s the issue, you’re doing the same thing. And he talks through the fact that God says that he is going to judge sin. And so he says in Romans 2:2-3, / / And we know that God, in his justice, will punish anyone who does such things. Since you judge others for doing these things, why do you think you can avoid God’s judgement when you do the same things?

Now, none of us like that stuff. None of us like having our faults and our issues pointed out. The fact that we have failed. Especially when we’re holding on to those things as not so bad maybe. We have convinced ourselves that what we do or how we live is ok, not too bad, and so when someone says, “Well, it’s actually short of God’s glorious standard, which Paul says in sin...” We don’t like that. And here’s why? When we marry ourselves to our choices out of our own desires, it can hurt when we hear that those choices weren’t the right ones.

It’s because we believe a certain way, whether that is because we have been told that, or we came to our own conclusions or our own thoughts, and so to be told we’re wrong hurts. Because what we believe, we believe to be true - for whatever reason.

But we’ve gotten it wrong. God isn’t asking us to give up our own way to punish us, he’s asking us to give up our own way because HIS way is better for us, not because he just wants his own way. Paul continues to say in Romans 2:4, / / Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?

The ESV says it really powerfully, / / …do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance.

To / / repent - to have a change of mind, as it appears to one who repents, of a purpose he has formed or of something he has done.

We think a certain way, doesn’t matter why. I have a belief. These days some call it “My Truth”, right? and so in having “My Truth” what I believe is right or wrong and wanting to hold on to that truth we don’t recognize that God wants to actually shine a light on HIS truth, which is THE truth.

Think I’m kidding? Does God actually want you to be willing to give up the way you think that you think is true? What did Jesus say? Deny yourself, take up your cross and follow me…

So, listen, if Satan is the father of lies, which is what the bible says of him, then his entire purpose and goal is to get people to believe something that is NOT true as if it were. Meaning, there is a whole world of people, inside and outside of the church, that believe things that are not true, but believe that they are true… And until we come to a place where we are willing to allow God, IN HIS KINDNESS, to lead us to a place where he removes from us the lie, and teaches us the truth, where we experience true repentance - a change of mind, true transformation, we will be stuck in those lies, but believing we’re in the truth and simply banking on God’s kindness and patience.

So, God is kind…and just like I said last week, God’s patience has a purpose. God’s kindness has a purpose. One of which is to lead us to a place where we feel safe enough, confident enough and willing enough to say, "I don’t even know if what I believe is a lie, because it’s truth to me, but I want to live by THE truth as established by You, God. I want to live by the truth.”

OK, so the definition of the greek word used for love is / / KIND means to show oneself useful, to act benevolently, to be kind...

/ / useful - able to be used for a practical purpose or in several ways.

/ / benevolent - well meaning and kindly - serving a charitable cause rather than a profit-making cause (motive)

/ / kind - having or showing a friendly, generous and considerate [careful not to cause inconvenience or hurt to others] nature.

That’s all i’m saying about kindness this morning. I’ll leave it with this thought:

When you say you love someone, do you mean that you are willing and able to help them in practical ways and multiple ways? Are you serving them for no other reason than you want to serve them, even if you get nothing in return? Are you pleasant, friendly, generous and considerate, which means when you talk to them, interact with them and react to what they do, you are careful not to cause inconvenience or hurt? Is this your nature?

Remember, this is how God is toward you! And it is that kindness that is leading you to a desire to want to change. I was praying the other morning and simply said to God, “Make me more kind. Make me more loving. Do a work in me that when people encounter me they leave feeling loved...” Listen, you aren’t going to please everyone. That’s impossible, you’re not pizza. But the question is, / / as we encounter more of God’s love ourselves, are we seeing a change in how we live and how we love people?

1 John 2:6, / / Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did.

This is a really powerful verse - 2 Corinthians 3:16-18, / / …whenever someone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away...

The veil he’s talking about is the blindness in seeing the truth that causes peoples hearts to be hard toward God…So he’s saying, when someone turns to the Lord he is able to remove that barrier between them and the truth. This is absolutely critical for all of us, regardless of how much truth we have received and how much truth we think we have, the key or the first step to walking in the truth is NOT seeing that you’re believing a lie, the first step is being OPEN to God showing you that you believe a lie. Listen, the reality is, you believe something. You believe that what you believe is the truth, and that is NOT going to change until you are told something different from someone you trust enough to tell you the truth that you actually believe HAS the truth.

I can argue with you all day, but if you don’t think I know the truth, and you’re just trying to convince me of your truth, then we’re getting nowhere - welcome to social media, right - a constant barrage of people just trying to prove that they are right? But when we come to God and say, “I believe something, for whatever reason, how I was taught, how I grew up, my life experiences, my viewpoints of the world etc… whatever has shaped my world and my truth is real to me, BUT, I am willing to allow you to reshape, remake and rework my mind!”

I’m not even necessarily saying I believe a lie. I might not even know that yet. What I’m saying is I’m open...

That’s what Paul means when he says, When someone turns to the Lord, I’m open to your truth, Jesus, the veil is taken away… You now can see the truth!

And so he says in vs 17, / / For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord - who is the Spirit - makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image!

That’s the key! When Jesus says in John 13:34, now, go love each other like I love you - it happens when we turn to him, allow him to remove that veil that’s been blocking us from the truth and look to him, his glory, his love, his goodness and as we do, the more we do, we are changed to be more and more like him, and the more we allow Him to love us the more we’ll love like He does!

Alright, I took too long on Kindness, but I really don’t want to skip things....so let’s keep going in 1 Corinthians 13...

It’s really kind of interesting, when we talk about this passage of scripture we often say, 1 Corinthians 13 tells us what love is. But let’s read it and point a couple things out:

We’re reading 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, But I’m going to list it out for you. Paul says 15 different things about love:

/ / 1. Love is patient (+)

2. Love is Kind (+)

3. Love is not jealous (-)

4. Love is not boastful (-)

5. Love is not proud (-)

6. Love is not rude (-)

7. Love does not demand its own way (-)

8. Love is not irritable (-)

9. Love does not keep record of being wronged (-)

10. Love does not rejoice about injustice (-)

11. Love rejoices whenever the truth wins out (+)

12. Love never gives up (+)

13. Love never loses faith (+)

14. Love is always hopeful (+)

15. Love endures through every circumstance (+)

You’ll notice I put a little (+) or (-) beside each of those. / / Paul says MORE about what love is NOT than about what love is!

Of those 15 points, 8 of them are about what love does NOT do. It’s almost like he’s saying, it’s more important to use restraint than it is to learn what to do. If you start with stopping yourself, THEN add what you should do, you’re off to the races. Look at how many times the book of Proverbs says that we should hold our tongue, keep our mouth shut, not say anything....

Think about it - When Jesus said to follow him, he said we had to FIRST deny ourselves.

So, understanding what love doesn’t do is equally, if not more important, than knowing what love does, and by learning what love does NOT do, and following that, you are actually, in fact, loving the person, because the NOT doing something is an act of love.

One of the reasons I think Paul goes to such great lengths in covering what Love is, is because we can grow in some areas, and still need to learn in others. Have you ever met someone that is really great at some of these things we’ve been talking about. They are super helpful, really kind, but then when you get to know them maybe it’s the way they talk about other people, or the way they treat certain people, or maybe it’s the relationship they have with their spouse or kids. And you’re kind of left wondering, Wow, I thought this person was really nice. This is why Paul says we are being made into the image of Christ more and more, because the more we have today sometimes needs a bit more tomorrow, and a bit more the next day. Again, this is the journey of love, the journey of following Jesus and learning to love like He loves. And that’s why Paul says, “Here’s some things love does, and here’s some things love doesn’t do. So, while you’re learning to do these things, also be training yourself to not do these things...”

Having an 8 year old is a great reminder of this. There are a lot of areas of her life where we are training her, teaching her and leading her toward how she should act. But I don’t expect her to know something she doesn’t know yet. And like I said earlier, we all have a belief system, we all believe a certain way, and until we come to God and say, “What is YOUR truth...” meaning, I’m open to being wrong about how I’m doing life, and willing and open to being taught how you want me to live, then we can’t expect more of ourselves than we know, and it’s a great reminder to have grace for all of us as we’re all in the process!

With that in mind, this morning we’re going to go through the middle part of vs 4, / / Love is not jealous or boastful. The ESV says Love does not envy or boast;

So we’re looking at what love chooses NOT to do this morning. And we won’t break it down into the 4 questions, how does God love this way, how do we love God this way, how do we love ourselves this way and how do we love others this way, but I want you to, as we are looking at these things, keep those four questions in your mind.

These two words, jealous and boastful, or envy and boast, are very connected. They go together for good reason.

So, starting with Love is not jealous [envy] - the greek word is zeloo, and it means to burn with zeal, to be heated or to boil with envy, hatred or anger, to desire earnestly and pursue.

This word is either used in a positive sense or a negative sense. It’s the same word that Paul uses in both 1 Corinthians 12:31, / / So you should earnestly desire the most helpful gifts - and when he starts 1 Corinthians 14:1, Let love be your highest goal! But you should also desire the special abilities the Spirit gives… obviously both of those are a very healthy context here. The word desire in both of those scriptures is zeloo - To burn with desire, to earnestly want and not just want, but to pursue with great zeal - / / zeal is with great energy or enthusiasm in pursuit of a cause or an objective. You really really really want this thing!

But in the negative sense this can cause some major issues.

If we look at the english definition of / / envy as a noun it means a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities or luck. The desire to have a quality, possession, or other desirable attribute belonging to someone else.

The greek word zeloo is the same word that Luke uses in Acts 7:9 when he describes what happened to Joseph, in the Old Testament. If you remember that story. Joseph has a couple dreams, and in those dreams he basically sees that his brothers and parents are going to bow down to him. Sure it happens, but as a young kid telling your big brothers this, it’s not going to go well for you, is it… On top of that, you happen to be your father’s favorite, and he gives you this beautiful colorful coat. So, this word, zeloo, / / [they] were jealous [zeloo] of their brother Joseph - that’s the word Luke uses when he describes the feelings that Joseph’s brothers have for him when they betray him, take his coat, throw him in a pit, kill a sheep, cover his coat in the sheep’s blood, and go back to their dad and say, “oh no, look, we found this coat covered in blood, our brother must’ve been torn apart by a wild animal”… that’s some pretty intense feelings.

What Paul is doing here is bringing in some contrast and perspective. If Love is kind, meaning we are learning to serve each other, we are doing acts of kindness, we are benevolent toward each other, then yes, we should be zealously pursuing the most helpful gifts, like he says in 1 Corinthians 12:31… BUT, if we allow our zeal to consume us, we can end up coveting what someone else has rather than being zealous for the Lord and being content with what He’s given us.

Zealously pursue the gifts, but don’t be jealous of someone else that may have gifts you don’t have.

Now, there’s good reason that jealousy & boasting are put together. What Envy does is it gets you to say, “I want what you HAVE” whether that is a quality, possession or how their life goes, the definition says ‘luck’ OR it gets us to say, “I actually wish I was you. I want to BE you.” “I wish I had what you have” “I wish I was LIKE you...” Envy makes YOU the focus and makes ME feel deficient, like I am lacking in some way. / / Envy undermines what God says about you to get you to believe that you’re not enough or don’t have enough.

Envy is trying to convince you that somehow God made a mistake when he made you because clearly that other person is better than you, and so you need to be like them!

But who were we made in the image of? Genesis 1:27, / / So God created human beings in HIS own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. And what did we read earlier in 2 Corinthians 3:18, / / And the Lord - who is the Spirit - makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image!

I need you to hear this this morning. / / You were made to be like him, and you are being made to be more like him.

Now, boasting on the other hand, is the complete opposite. It’s the greek word / / perpereuomai, which means to boast about oneself, a self display, embellishing oneself excessively, to extol oneself.

Love doesn’t do that, it doesn’t boast.

Romans 12:3 says, / / …I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves...

And he then goes on to say, just like he’s done in 1 Corinthians around the topic of love, he shares how we all have different gifts, and encourages us to use the gift God has given YOU. We all have different gifts, all have different functions, so you are responsible for what God has given YOU, not what He has NOT given you and not what he’s given someone else.

That word, perpereuomai comes from the root word / / perperos, which means to be a braggart. The topic of boasting is actually in the bible quite a bit, and for good reason. Any of you who have kids understand that there is value in learning that winning is good, but that doesn’t change our value, we are not “better” or more “valuable” than someone else because we won. Obviously we are talking about God given value, which we all have the same amount, the highest amount - if all you do is win win win win win then you’ll get drafted by the major leagues and I will not. So winning is good, and it shows you can be monetarily valuable for a team, or business, but it does not change your value as a human being.

And sometimes we see that in our children, how they talk about things that happen. I remember when Kaylee was in dance, and this was just the absolute perfect demonstration of these scriptures. One of two things would happen pretty consistently, she would see other kids dancing better than her, or doing things she couldn’t do, and it would make her sad, it would hurt her little heart in a way that would actually break mine. She would come to tears because she felt deficient in some way, like she didn’t measure up and that made her less of a person or something. It draws on some sort of fear and that is what causes a lot of our envy. And then on the other side, ifshe was actually better than other kids at something then that would become a point of pride and something to boast about… “see, I did it better… look at me… look what I can do...”

The desire or pull on us to boast is that it temporarily makes us feel better about ourselves but it’s often times at the expense of putting someone else down. And this is not just a kids issue. I see this in adults all the time. I see this in myself. The desire to show off at what I can do to gain just a little bit of praise so I feel good about myself for a moment. It’s interesting that these are the things that love does NOT do, and yet we do them out of our need for affection, in our pursuit to receive love...

So, do you see now why Paul would put these two together?

/ / You are better than me… ENVY… I want to be you...

I am better than you… BOAST… You should want to be me...

Pop Culture and Social Media play into this way too much, it’s a constant narrative. Remember the song, “If I was you, I’d want to be me too, I’d want to be me too, I’d want to be me too...”

Pointing directly at, “Look how awesome I am. You should want to be me. What you are isn’t good enough, I’ll always be better than you, and the only way for you to have a chance at being awesome is if you try to be like me… I have more than you… I do more than you… I am more than you...”

And it’s my boasting that is trying to get you to envy! These two things that love chooses not to do, are constantly pitted against each other.

Paul says in 1 Corinthians 4, why boast about anything, don’t you realize that all you have was a gift given to you by God and if it was a gift, then what do you have to boast about?

Jeremiah 9:23-24 says, / / Don’t let the wise boast in their wisdom, or the powerful boast in their power, or the rich boast in their riches. But those who wish to boast should boast in this alone: that they truly know me and understand that I am the Lord who demonstrates unfailing love...

Unfailing love is the key. See, / / Boasting and envy come from the same place: not believing we are enough on our own.

One says, “I am not enough, I must become like you...”

The other says, “I am not enough, I must make you feel less valuable than me so I can feel more valuable than you.”

You can live your whole life craving what someone else has and find yourself stuck in envy because you aren’t content and don’t feel like you are enough on the inside, so you look to the outside world to fulfill you. And equally, you can have all the success and all the things and still live your life pining for more because if you haven’t found true contentment inside you’ll never be content with what you have on the outside.

So, how do we move forward? If this is about learning to love well, to love like Jesus loves, how do we practically learn to give up these things and embrace what love would do? Love takes work, we know that, but behind the work, God wants to also do a miracle.

If the root cause to these issues is feeling like I’m not enough, then I want to ask you a couple questions this morning.

Do you see what other people have and have a hard time not envying what they have? Does what other people post on social media, their vacations, their new toys, the boat, the car, the golf cart or camper, their new jobs or boyfriend / girlfriend or the night out on the town, leave you longing for something you don’t have, and not content with what you do have? Those can be indications that a part of our heart believes that what we have and maybe who we are isn’t enough… and God wants to heal that.

Or maybe you feel like when you are around other people you need to cover your faults, and talk about how awesome you are, or that thing you did, and make yourself shine, feel more important. Maybe you want to, maybe just a little bit, praise yourself and your accomplishments so people can see how great you really are. There’s a need to be seen. A need to be recognized, and sometimes it comes at the expense of someone else. If I put them down I’ll feel better about myself. God wants to heal that need to be seen.

Remember how we’ve been saying this isn’t just about one aspect of love, but it’s the journey of love that doesn’t start with us loving better. It starts with God loving you, changing you, transforming you - so that you can love Him, love yourself, and love the people around you like He loves.

OK, first things first - we have to deal with the root cause of these things - the feeling of inadequacy in our hearts. Of not measuring up, of not being enough, of covering our deficiencies. And remember what I said earlier, you might not see these things as lies, or like you’ve made some horrible mistake, because it’s literally how you live your life based on what you’ve been taught, what you’ve picked up, learned, seen, observed. What’s made you who you are. But the key to loving LIKE Jesus is to be honest and ask the question, “Jesus, is there anything I believe to be true that is actually holding me back from what you have for me?” - you might not even recognize it, that’s ok. Step one isn’t admitting you’re wrong, it’s admitting you might not know that you’re wrong, might not know you even have a problem. That’s not saying you do. That’s between you and God, but I am saying you need to be open to God showing you where you’ve believed something that isn’t true.

Trust me when I say this because I’m saying it as someone who lived for nearly 30 years with the belief that the only way to over come my weight issues was to do better myself, be stronger, have more will power, do more, and it is all on me. I didn’t know how to give it up to God… Now everything has changed, not because I saw the error of my ways, but because HIS KINDNESS led me to a place where I was willing for him to change the way I think!

Remember this is about you understanding who you are and that God created you in His image, and through the Holy Spirit is making you more and more into the image of Christ! Allow God the time and access to your life to heal you and tell you what He truly thinks of you. And we’re going to pray into that in a minute.

Ok, second thing we need to do is take a pro-active approach to loving - which as we are seeing can mean learning to DO certain things, like be patient, be kind, and learning to restrain from, or unlearn some things, like being envious, jealous, braggadocious… Remember we read 1 John 3:18 last week, / / …let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.

So, in a minute we’re going pray and ask God to do what only God can do, to change us in ways we can’t change ourselves, but right now we’re going to look at the things we can do, that we can ask God for the courage to live out!

I am going to give you four practical things which will have a major impact both on whether you have any tendency to envy or to boast AND will increase the outworking of love in your life.

/ / Focus on yourself when you are drawn to compare

If you suddenly find yourself wanting to compare yourself to someone else, what they have that you don’t, who they are that you aren’t, what they are doing that you aren’t doing... make a focus change. CHOOSE to change the channel.

Start by saying, “What areas of my life has God given me and blessed me that I want to work on?” Remember, Paul tells us to pursue the most helpful gifts, why? Because when we focus on becoming what God’s created us to be for the betterment of others, we end up loving really well. Focus on being the best you that you can be, not so you can boast, but so you can become all that God has created you to be so that you can serve and accomplish the good works He’s got for you. We’ve talked about this verse before, it’s an important one around here, and I think it’s high time we remind ourselves of it… Ephesians 2:10, / / For we are God’s masterpiece… [turn to your neighbor and let them know, “you know I’m a masterpiece, right?”] / / He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago!

You’ve been created and gifted with purpose. Focus on the masterpiece that you are, not what someone else is, that won’t help you become more of who you are meant to be.

Remember, Dr Suess taught us:

/ / Today You are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.

/ / Up your gratitude game

Start your day by being thankful for what you have

Start your day by being thankful for who God made you to be

Did you know that studies show that just simply adopting an attitude of gratitude, and especially taking just 5 minutes a day to keep a gratitude journal, enhanced long term happiness by 10% and showed a 35% reduction in depressive symptoms.

Quote scripture over yourself about who God made you to be and then THANK him. Psalm 139:14, / / THANK YOU for making me so wonderfully complex. Your workmanship is marvelous.

You can turn to your neighbor who just asked if you realize they are a masterpiece and say, “you sure are wonderful....ly complex...”

But honestly, start your day by thanking God for making you you… You are pretty amazing. Honestly. And You are loved. And you are wanted. And you are special. And if you don’t always believe that, I’m here to tell you, and to remind you, and to encourage you to begin to believe it. Because it’s true.

/ / Learn what God has done for you

What does the bible say about you?

What does the bible say about what you should have, what you should be, what you should do?

What does the bible say about who you are in Christ?

The more you know about who you are, and who God is and what he’s done for you, and how you should live your life according to His word, the less you will feel the need to be someone else, or boast about who you are. Like Paul says, If it’s all a gift given to us by God, then what do you have to boast about anyway?

/ / Learn to celebrate others...

This might be difficult at first. It might not come naturally, but it’s really important and incredibly powerful.

We read earlier, outdo each other in showing honor…focus more on what is good and how you can encourage someone than what is not there and what you wish would change. We can tend to focus on what we don’t like about a person, or situation, rather than celebrating and honoring what is happening and what’s good. There’s a saying that’s sort of an adaptation of Proverbs 11:27, it says, / / Anyone can find the dirt in someone. Be the one who finds the gold.

That doesn’t mean things don’t need to change, but the reality is, and they’ve figured this out in the business world too, most successful CEOs focus 10% on the problem and 90% on the solution, because going over what’s wrong over and over again doesn’t make change, changing does!

If envy is the issue, you see something someone has and you can’t seem to help but want it…bless them. Maybe just in your silence, not in person, but say, “God, I bless that person...” If you can, go to the person and say, “Wow, that’s amazing. What a beautiful new car…” or “You have a really nice house… or dog… cat.... kids…whatever it is… I’m really happy for you.”

If it’s boasting, catch yourself. you want to say, “ya, well I have....” instead, stop yourself and say, “Wow, that’s so good to hear. I love that this is happening in your life...”

Like 1 John 3:18 says, work at loving people by giving up your right to envy, and your right to boast. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you, to catch you when you are about to put yourself down for what others have, or push yourself up to make yourself feel better...

Let’s pray together:

Heavenly Father, I want to love like Jesus has shown us how to love. I want to be more patient, more kind, I don’t want to be jealous or boastful. Would you do in me what only you can do. Would you change in me what I cannot change. Would you perform our promise from Romans 12:2 in me - transform my life by changing the way I think. And give me the courage, and wisdom, and strength, to deny myself and the ways of this world, and to follow after you.

Now I want to pray for you and bless you this morning and I want you to lean into this, I believe God wants to cause lasting change in your life now:

Holy Spirit would you do an absolute miracle in our lives this morning. If we act out of jealousy and boastfulness because we are trying to be something we are not, something you didn’t make us to be, would you work a transformation in our hearts right now, as your word promises that as we focus on you we are made more and more like you.

Where we have not felt like we measure up, would you reveal to our hearts how you see us.

Where we have felt less than, or not enough, inadequate, would you pour your love into our hearts and show us the value that you see in us.

Where we have felt like we need to put others down to build ourselves up, would you transform our hearts to see those around us like you see them, with the love you have for them, that our desire would be to life each other up, encourage each other, and celebrate each other.

I speak to each of your hearts right now, You Are Enough! You Are Loved! Let every area and way that you have felt inadequate or not enough fall off of you right now, in the name of Jesus. I bless you with the power and presence of the Holy Spirit to be in you, through you and around you, that as you rest and live in His glory you will be made more like Christ! You were made to be like him and are being made to be more like him!

Every fear of not being enough…comes off, right now, in the name of Jesus.

Every disappointment you’re carrying from your life, experience, trauma, be released right now, and replaced with the love of God.

Every fear of failure removed now, in Jesus name.

Every effect of rejection you have experienced be healed in Jesus name.

Every hurt and wound from others expressing jealousy, or boasting over you, let that wash off of you this morning.

Be free to experience the love of God that transforms you so you can be free to love like He loves!