Matthew 5:31-32 (2)
Notes
Transcript
Introduction
Introduction
Good morning church. I know Zach and Jay have already said this but for those downtown and those at cove who are mothers we want to wish you a very happy mothers day.
It’s a really special day for many. I also know this it’s a hard day for some. For those who long to be mothers and aren’t yet you can feel abandoned or alone. For those who have lost their mothers and don’t have their mothers close it can feel sad, and desperate.
and if you are walking through a really tough season of life right now on this mothers day I want you to know Jesus has not forgotten you. He has not abandoned you, He is with you, and he loves you very much.
This morning we will be in Matthew chapter 5:31-32. As you flip to the passage in your bibles or see the passage on the screen you may wonder why we have choose this passage on mothers day.
at rivertree we preach throught the bible verse by verse. You can be sure the pastors don’t just cherry pick and try to pick what’s the easitest passage to preach. We trust the Lord lead us each week in the preaching of the Word. In doing so we don’t get to avoid hard topics. We believe every single word is inspired form God and we trust the passage we are in each week will minister to the body of Christ at rivertree.
as we look at the words of Jesus this morning on divorce and remarriage I pray we would find comfort, challenge and encourament from his words.
I’d also like to add there is no way in just 30 mins I can give the entire perspecitve on marraige the Bible offers us. I will do my best to give an overview of what Jesus is saying here in Matthew and how it connects to the Old Testemant
I am aware in our current cutlral moment this subject can be difficult to understand and be a real place of pain for many. What we will discover together this morning is Jesus has a real desire to meet us in this pain. To bring understanding, healing and hope for our future.
In this passage and the other passages of the Bible we look at today I think we will leave knowning these are really special mothers day passages in the Bible. Because we will see Gods desire to build a family, to build homes where mothers are honored and respected. Where marraige displays the beauty and glory of Jesus’ relationship with the church
and this is so important. Becasue something we probably all have in common in this room today is divorce has touched each person in some way. Whether we have been through a divorce because of our own choices or someone else. Whether we are children of divorce, or we have friends or family of divorce everyone is touched by it and to some degree has felt the pain that comes with it.
I also know this. Probably we will look to a lot of places to deal with this pain and questions we have regarding divorce. This is why it’s so amazing God has giving us his word. His word is the best place to go as we beging to think about these things from a biblical perspective
let’s read
“It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Now when Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. And large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.
And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”
Pray
Last week we looked at Jesus’ words on anger and lust, so it’s no suprise in the following section he begings to teach on divorce.
In this part of the sermon on the mount and in Matthew 19 Jesus is going back to first principles. In other words He is reminding his discpjles and anhyone else who would listen to his teaching about how things were in the beginning.
In the beginng God made one man and one woman and he brought them together. It’s good for us to know marraige was and has always been something birthed out of the heart of God. Since he brought them togooether divorce was incoceivable.
When God officated the first marriage and brought eve to adam he made no allowance for the marraige to end.
I think we understand this. It would be rare for someone on thier own wedding day to hope this marriage ends in divorce. At most weddings there is this celebration of 2 coming together. The husband and the wife leaving thier hoems to form a new home. This is front and center and celebrated even at todays weddings.
I’ve had the joy of officateing many weddings over the years. And to illustrate the 2 people getting married come up with all sorts of ways to show they are coming together.
I have seen a unity knot(people tying rope together)
Unity cross
Unity tree(dirt from child hood homes into a bucket with a tree) It was amzing
unity sand and a host of other things. It is truly remakrakble the ideas people come up with these days. I share with you as the Pastor who is officating those weddings it’s one of the part which can make you nervous. you pray whatevert they are doing they ahve practiced.
Becasue the worst thing is when you are trying to tie a knot or put something together on your wedding day and it doesn’t work out can be pretty ackward. People observing the wedding start to get worried if this marriage is going work out and so does the couple.
I have some expierence about things not working out in this area. On my wedding day 18 years ago this may we chose a pretty tranditonal unity moment. We where going to do the unity candle. If you aren’t familiar with this practice. Normallyu at the begginng of the cermony the parents of each spouse light a candle representing the homes they are in. Then at the right time the couples go to the candle light the middle one showing 2 becoming one and blow out the candles their parents lit.
Well on my wedding day it didn’t go quite as expected. It came time for us to light the candle. We walk down the stairs, A josh groban song was being sung in itailian(strange) and Elizabeth whispers to me “do you remeber what to do?” in all the confidience I had within me I said yes! Problem was I had no clue.
we get our candles Elizabeth leans in to light the middle one but I turn away and immeditaly I blow out my familys candle. She says “STEVEN” and the place errupts in laughter. I still didn’t know in that moment what I did wrong but man I knew I messed up something
and I share that with you because really there is something at most weddings which long to point back to the words of Jesus in Matthew and the words of Moses in Geneis.
In Matthew 19:5
and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?
Jesus gives us insight to the mystrey and majesty of marraige. He says the two are no longer two but they are one. The two are becoming this one flesh union.
But by the time Jesus is walking the earth, minitering and teaching divorce had become more of a reality and in some cases very easy.
it’s not how it was suppose to be. It is way we are told in Malachi God hates divorce. And i’ll offer this for some when you have read that or heard this verse teached and thought God hated you if you are divorced. That is not true. He hates the abberation which divorce is. He sees the pain it causes. He sees the hurt the confusion, the guilt and the shame and says this is never how it was suppsoe to be
it’s way Jesus even teaches on this in matthew. By the time of Jesus some had taking the words of Moses foudn in Deautronmy 24 and used them to justify why they were getting a divorce.
Some men had used and abused the Bible in such a way which woudl be devasting to the woman and the family.
let’s look at
“When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house,
Moses teaching on divorce is intersting. He knew it wasn’t the way it was suppsoe to be be but because of the hardness of the peoples hearts he came up with a way in which divorce was allowed
Some in Jesus day took moses teaching to an extreme: where teaching if you as a man saw anything in his wife he didn’t like he coudl just give her a piece of paper dissovling the marraige.
Jesus knew the pain it was causing and how people where using and abusing the law of God for their own benefit.
Those who were abusing moses teacihng were preoccupied with the grounds for divorce
Jesus was focussed on the instutaiton of marriage
Those abusing moses teaching called it his command
Jesus called it the hardness of hearts people had
Some in Jesus day regared divorce lightly
Jesus took divorce so seriously that, with only one exception, he called all remarraige after divorce adultry.
Jesus teaching was radical(still is) and revolutionary.
The disciples’ response indicates just how radical Jesus’ teaching was: “The disciples said to him, ‘If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.
which is intersting becasue when you read the words of Jesus it can cause some confusiong if you are only thinking of the world we live in today.
It’s good to ask quesitons about the text and one question which would be fair to have is why does a man divorcing a woman in Jesus day make her an adultry and make her future spouse also guilty of adultrery?
That seems like an unfair accustation but in Jesus day he was saying something everyone knew
If a man divorced a women for whatever reason he felt like the women would have no hope. The pain, and problems this greater in the ancient world was devasting
Jesus knew a divorce was forcing a women into remarraige becasue without it she could not provide for herself
If a man divorced a wife he was divorcing her into a life of poverty, pain, guilt, and shame for the rest of her life.
He wants his listerners to feel the weight of the problem sin was causing in the world.
What Jesus isn’t putting a greater burden or yoke on people who have been through divorce or are consdering it.
No quite the oppoiste with empahty Jesus “But I say to you”
moves us to his own uderstanding of the position
He is emptic towards women of his day. He can see the pain this misuse of scripture had caused. He sees what was suppose to be a lifelong union broken and for no justifiable reasons at all
He sees the pain and the desparte postion of the wife. how she is now despereate to provide a way for herself.
And he says this is not how it is suppose to be
He knows there was a possiblity if a man would divorce a women because there was just something he didn’t like in her. She could belive there was something already defecient about her and know if she remarries she is making herself and the man she marries an adutler.
The situtaiton surronding divorce in Jesus day and really our own day is complex, confusing and painful.
but Jesus doesn’t overlook the pain. Instead he gives hope. He highlights just how beatiful, how magnificent, and how wonderful marriage is in Gods eyes.
He wants us to know marraige should not just be eneded easily. When we have a biblical view of marraige we start to understand this.
If we listen to bad teaching on marraige or the worlds view we can be lead astray and actaully led into sin which casues guilt, shame and seperation
In Jesus day and in our day some are still teaching the wrong things about marraige. They say marraige is about
Staying in love
Being happy
getting your way
raising a family
having compainship
having a best freind
and while those things are good none of those are what the Bible holds out as what marraige really is. Becasue if that’s all marraige is then when you don’t feel in love anymore it might be easier to end the marraige
or if you just aren’t happy what would be the big deal of ending the marraige
if it’s about getting your way(good luck with that) because you wont
or if it’s just friendship and compainship the minitue you don’t feel as connected you might start to entertaining dissolving your marraige.
but the Bible says marraige is more then those things
Marriage isn’t mainly about those things, but as piper says Marraige is about covenant keeping.
Look at what Paul says in Ephesians 5:22-33
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
The Bible is helping us understand what marraige is really meant to display. In marraige we are told the relationship between the husband and wife is so special it actaully displays the relatinoship Jesus has with his church!
A husband is suppose to love his wife in such a way it reminds her of how much Jesus loves her. And as she is reminded abou thow much she is loved by Jesus her love for Jesus increasing.
and a wife loves and follows her husbands as he leads his household
and all of this displays the beatiful relationship Jesus has with the church.
This is where you and I find great encoruagment no matter how Divorce has touched our lives.
because what the Bible teaches us is Isreal was Gods people. He had a covenant relationship with his people. Yet they turned there back on the covenant they worship other gods, they allowed sin to enter in and commited spirtual adultry
and even though they had left God and turned their back on them he hadn’t left them. NO God loved his people so much he sent Jesus to die for his bride.
and it’s what Jesus does. He keeps his covenant. He reedems his people and he offers restoration and forgivness.
This changes everything. and we all must see ourselves as spirtaul adutlries at somepoint and see how Jesus came for US!
and if you have never trusted in Jesus that you would turn from your sin and belive in him. I urge you to do this today.
If you have been touched by the devastation of divorce in this room allow Jesus to move in and start to do a new work in your heart.
If it was because of your sin, and you’ve never asked for forgivness do so today. He has never turned away a person who comes to him
If you are a child of divorce, a friend of someone who is divorced, or a family member of someone who is divorced. Know it’s not the way God intended for it to be. Allow his Gentleness and kindness to bring helaing to you. Open your heart to expiernce the love of Christ a fresnh and a new.
I know this pain. Divorce is in my family tree. It left me hurting, questionsing, and wondering even my worth
but I am learning to say with Joseph what was meant for evil God has used for God.
If someone left you, if they abandonded you I know the pain is still there. You may still be left wondering your worth and your value. My heart hurts for you if someones sin brought an end to something you never imagined would end. That’s why Jesus said what he did in Matthew. He said the way of the world isn’t Gods way. zbut if you have expierenced the pain of this Jesus doesn’t move away form you he actaully moves towards you
I pray you can allow your heart to be opened to be loved by Jesus today.
A while ago I ran into one of my long time friends who had expierendced then pain of divorce. durning the season where things were tough I reached out to them I called them but no responses. I think the pain of what they were walking thorugh was just to tough
but then one night I ran into them in the lobby of a movie theater. My heart immeditaly went out to them not knowning exactly what to say. They could tell it was hard for me to find words
So I said all I could. I am so sorry.
They looked at me with a smile on there face and even though they had expeirrnced betrayl and abandoment they said it’s ok. It’s been so hard But Jesus is doing his best work in me know
They said I am actaully realizing Jesus makes a better husband. and to that end I was suprised, amazed and encouraged.
I texted them this week to check in and ask permission to share this part of their story.
Their respsones was this:
I am very OK and comfortable with you using any part of my story or my testimony for this chunk of sermon…
I know it’s not an easy one to Preach and I greatly appreciate how you want to honor those in your congregation who may be experiencing the same sort of difficulties and this is going to be a sensitive message for them!
I feel extremely delighted in by the Lord and seen by his community that you have even reached out and asked me!
That is basically what I said! Jesus does make a better husband!
I also tell people all the time that saying no to my earthly marriage meant that I just said yes to a better heavenly marriage. It’s not been easy every day but it’s been better every day.”
I know Jesus can do te same kind of work in each persons heart today.
IF you are married
anhyone whose been married a long time will tell you it’s not easy. It’s hard work and it’s all grace.
and if your marriage is in a tough spot or a great spot today. THis mothers day would be a good day to grab your spouses hand again and remember your wedding day. The day you said I do. And just continue to commitet to keeping this covenant
If you hope to be married- pray for your future spouse. Ask God to keep them pure and be loved by him. Ask him to prepare your heart
If you feel called to singlness - pray for the marraiges around you
If you need help please reach out to us
Let’s pray