Grace for Messy Ships

2 Samuel 6

Intro: Top annoying habits Life on another planet? Titanic Living with Annoying People Titanic

Background: King Saul had died David crowned king

Ark to Jerusalem 6: 3-5

Uzzah’s Death 6:6-9

Obed’s House 6:10-11

Leaving Obed’s 6:12-13

Dancing & Despising 6:14-16

David’s Homecoming 6:20-23

Michal’s Response & Heart

How did she get here?

Brooding, angry, offended, rehearsing the hurt

What was it that David did?

Was it dancing, rejoicing or clothing?

It was ultimately the state of Michal’s heart.

She had expectations, assumptions and agendas for her relationship with David were not being fulfilled

Her heart & expectations clouded her ability to see a situation clearly

Sin & Self Interest: Two of our biggest enemies in relationships.

In our sin we only allow ourselves to see what we want to see.

Tempted to throw in the towel because they obviously don’t care about the relationship

Ground Rules for Messy Relationships

Humility:

Remember I have not arrived yet and they have not arrived yet. If I held myself to the same exact standard.

Recognizing sin battles my self deception

Resist Making Assumptions:

Do we know for sure what their motives are?

Do all you can to assume the best motives for someone else.

Assume a story or background that puts them in the best possible light. If not, relationships suffer. Wouldn’t you want them to do that to you. What if their motives are bad? Forgive them.

See every Relationship as a Gift

Gifts are to garded and stewarded

Gifts are not disposable and require work

You can’t just buy a new friend. YOu are not garunteed anymore relationship than you have right now. We have to work for them.

Make Your Love Genuine:

I must like/value them if I am going to love them

Reorient your Expectations & Agendas:

Have you established an agenda for them that they know nothing about?

Differences in relational investment, expectations, & willingness are natural. Be OK with that

Establish a Climate of Grace rather than Law in your Relationships:

Law says, “I have a set of rules and expectations I expect you to follow to earn this relationship”

It makes you feel justified in all that you do to a person that doesn’t follow the rules. and you are making sure in all that others do that they follow the rules and punish the person that doesn’t

Grace says, “No matter what you do to me I will love you, give you safety & what is best for Free”

I will love you not because you deserve it because I didn’t deserve the love that God gave me. A culture of grace is a culture of people feeling safe around you. because they know they will find forgiveness. You don’t crush them by your expectations but serve them.

Everything you need in relationship has its source in Jesus Christ alone:

All of your expectations can only be fulfilled in Jesus along. He is the one responsible to provide what you need. If you aren’t going to crush people with your expectations - you must look to Jesus first.

People cannot meet my deepest needs, but sometimes God chooses to meet my deepest needs through people.

But it is up to God not the people. They are a gift that he gives in his timing and discretion as he knows you need it. and if he removes them for a time, he is telling us to look more fully to Him. When we put that kind of pressure on people to meet those needs for me, what happens? They are not my savior from lonliness and despair and hardship.

We must see the Source as Jesus.

Look to Jesus to provide Himself (sometimes through providing people)

Our biggest problem in relationships is not our lonliness, our relational needs, our agendas, expectations or assumptions, our biggest problem is not running to Jesus with them.

Would you rather be compelled to high five everyone you meet or get into a conversation with everyone in a green shirt?

Would you rather be able to teleport anywhere or read minds?

What stood out from the message tonight?

How do you relate with either David or Michal?

How does it feel when someone makes assumptions about your motives in relationships/friendships?

How can you resist making assumptions about others?

What percentage of all your relationships feel like a climate of law vs a climate of grace?

What feelings do you associate with a relationship ruled by law?

What feelings do you associate with a relationship ruled by grace?