Humility

When someone's trying to pass on a message, it's important to communicate clearly. But in order for that message to "stick," the person you're talking to has to actually listen.

You ever been caught not listening?

Let me tell you bout my kids...

30 minutes before time to get off the switch or tv, I give them fair warning:

"We're leaving for soccer soon". "It's time to go to bed"

Y'all get ready

But you know what happens almost every time?

They say "ok" and then "forget"

Y'all don't know how much this tests my patience...bc they weren't even listening in the first place...

But I gotta have a little grace, bc there's times I'm caught not listening or not listening correctly.

You see, I'm a dude, and sometimes dudes can't speak female.

Like my wife speaks English like me, but sometimes when she says stuff I've gotta have my wife translator on:

*Show "Manslater" video*

Youtube comments:

"When a woman says she will be done in five minutes, think 5 minutes left in the fourth quarter of a football game. The game is tied and both teams still have all of their timeouts."

I'm not just saying this to poke fun, bc for me to really understand my wife, I have to know that she communicates differently than I do.

Sometimes I don't get this right bc I'm not paying enough attention, and that's when I get in trouble!

Has anyone else ever been in this situation? When you're the one not listening, it's kind of embarrassing. When you're the one not being listened to, it's frustrating. The truth is, we're all pretty good at talking about ourselves, but we're not always great at listening to others.

Have you ever been talking to someone when you suddenly realize the other person hasn't spoken and you're feeling a little lightheaded because you haven't taken a breath in 10 minutes? I think it is pretty normal for people to get stuck in conversations about themselves. I don't know about you, but I like talking about me, my life, my relationships, the things I love, the things I hate, the things that get me excited, the things that make me upset and angry. If you give me the time, I can talk about myself for a while. But here's what's interesting:

When we make it a habit to not listen to others because we're talking about ourselves all the time, other people make it a habit to not listen to us either. That's not good if you want to have friends. It's also not good if you have an important message you hope people hear.

SO WHAT? Why does it matter to God and to us?

ACTIVITY | Stay Focused . . . or Not

INSTRUCTIONS: This listening activity can either be done by splitting your whole group into pairs or by bringing two volunteers to the front to demonstrate. Either way, Partner #1 will share a story while Partner #2 listens (or not). Ask Partner #1 to think of a one-minute story they're excited to tell. When they've got it, put one minute on the clock and ask them to tell the story to Partner #2 — but ask Partner #2 to do everything they can not to pay attention. They can check their phone, close their eyes, strike up a conversation with someone else in the room, or sing a song, for example. When the one minute is up, ask them to try again — but this time, ask Partner #2 to do everything they can to pay attention. Afterward, ask these questions:

Partner #1, after the first round, how did you feel about sharing your story? Partner #2, after the first round, what do you think would have happened if you had tried to tell Partner #1 a story after you had totally ignored theirs? Partner #1, how did you feel after the second round? If Partner #2 had wanted to tell you a story when you were done, how likely would you have been to listen?

We could come up with all sorts of reasons why we fail to listen well to others. But ultimately it usually comes down to the same problem: we don't listen well because we're too focused on ourselves. When we're focused on ourselves, we . . .

Talk more than we listen. Don't ask questions or show curiosity. Fail to consider other people's perspectives. Try to take the spotlight. When we do that regularly, it makes people want to pay less attention to what we have to say.

SCRIPTURE | Acts 16:16-34

For the last few weeks, we've been talking about passing on the good news of Jesus to others. We've talked about how . . .

Jesus challenged us to tell everyone about the good news that he's alive and he can rescue us from sin and death.

We can share that good news with our lives by loving people with both our actions and our words.

We're called to share the good news with everyone — not just the people we want to share it with. We've been reading stories from the book of Acts, which is a book that tells the stories of some of the earliest followers of Jesus and how they passed on the good news all over the world. Paul and Silas are two of the more well-known people in Acts. They were missionary partners and worked together to share the gospel in places where no one had yet heard of it.

Paul and Silas were really good at passing on the good news. They had a huge impact everywhere they went. As we'll see in the story we're about to read, Paul and Silas knew they had an important message to share. They also knew that, if they wanted people to really hear what they had to say, they couldn't make themselves the center of attention. But this wasn't just a fun adventure Paul and Silas knew they could face persecution — even death — for telling others about Jesus.

INSTRUCTIONS: Read Acts 16:16–34.

This story really does have everything: demon possession, fortune telling, exorcism, an angry mob, beatings, imprisonment, dungeons, chains and shackles, earthquakes, freedom, redemption, and celebration! But there is one thing about this story that sticks out to me above everything else: humility. Some people think humility is thinking less of yourself or refusing to take a compliment. But that's not it at all. Humility is about not drawing unnecessary attention to yourself and drawing attention to others or God instead. Let me show you some of the ways I see Paul and Silas choosing humility instead of selfishness — and how their humility helped others hear the good news they had to share.

IN JAIL:

Paul and Silas could have been selfish when they were thrown in jail. They could have run, fought, yelled, or been angry with God because of their situation. Instead, they chose to humbly trust God.

IN WORSHIP:

Instead of focusing on their unfortunate situation, Paul and Silas chose to worship instead, putting the focus back on God.

WITH THEIR MERCY:

When the jailer was afraid they had escaped, instead of looking out for their own interest, they humbly intervened to rescue him from himself, which put them in greater danger.

WITH THEIR MESSAGE:

Whether Paul and Silas were speaking to huge crowds or just one jailer, they didn't make themselves the center of attention. They humbly pointed people to Jesus, the one who could save them. Paul and Silas could have focused on themselves and their own needs during this ordeal. They could have grumbled, complained, and wondered why God would have allowed this to happen to them. Instead, they kept their eyes focused on God, on the needs of others, and on their mission to share the good news of Jesus. Because of their humility, Paul and Silas not only saw a miracle happen, but they were able to pass on the good news to a man and his entire family!

SCRIPTURE | I Corinthians 9:16–23

Later in Scripture, Paul himself writes about what it means to him to pass on the good news with humility.

INSTRUCTIONS: Read I Corinthians 9:16–23

1 Corinthians 9:16–23 NIV

For when I preach the gospel, I cannot boast, since I am compelled to preach. Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel! If I preach voluntarily, I have a reward; if not voluntarily, I am simply discharging the trust committed to me. What then is my reward? Just this: that in preaching the gospel I may offer it free of charge, and so not make full use of my rights as a preacher of the gospel. Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.

Here's what Paul says about passing on the good news:

He has nothing to brag about. He didn't care about money, fame, or even his own comfort. He put himself under Jesus' leadership. No matter who Paul was with, he put them and their needs before his own. Everything Paul did was to pass on the good news in a way that put Jesus and the needs of others in the spotlight, instead of himself. Because Paul didn't make his message all about himself, many people heard and believed the message Paul had to share. Humility is about putting God and others before ourselves. You can try to pass on the good news while being arrogant or self-centered, but if you really want to people to hear what you have to say, pass on the good news with humility.

NOW WHAT? What does God want us to do about it?

STORY | Talk about a time someone's lack of humility prevented them from effectively talking about their faith.

Like we saw in our earlier activity, it's difficult to really hear what someone has to say when they're too focused on themselves.

Arrogant pic

13 years ago, a retired Pastor in our church in TN passed away.

There funeral service was held at the church, and the Pastor’s son, who was also a pastor, was part of officiating the service.

I remember it was a good service, but there were some technical issues with the sound system during the service which we did our best to fix quickly.

I remember walking to my car after everything was done, and I overheard Pastor’s son just trashed our people who were running sound.

Now I was a young pastor then and really looked up to this guy, but he just seemed really arrogant in that moment… and I can’t stand arrogance.

It just makes me sick when I see “Christian” people act that way.

And look… I know he was going through a tough time with his dad passing away, but I decided then and there that I would never act that way, bc I know that it would destroy my testimony.

Putting others first really does make a difference. It can mean the difference between someone feeling loved and accepted or feeling unimportant and invaluable.

It means:

Making Jesus the hero of our stories instead of ourselves.

Being curious instead of assuming we know everything.

Asking more questions instead of always trying to give answers. Talking with people instead of talking at them.

If we want someone to really hear the good news of Jesus, then . . .

How we treat people matters. How we listen to people matters. How we love people matters. How we pass on the good news matters.

PRAYER | Listening to God

You know what's interesting about Paul and Silas? How they knew when to share the good news — and who they should share it with.

Sometimes God gave them clear directions about where to go and who to talk to. Sometimes they didn't have clear directions so they just tried to do the next right thing. Sometimes the people they met were seemingly chance encounters. But here's what's always true: Paul was constantly looking for opportunities to pass on the good news everywhere he went.

I wonder how we could be like Paul in this way?

What if we started seeing our family, our classrooms, our sports teams, our lunch tables, our jobs, or even the aisles of the grocery store as places where we could humbly pass on our faith to others? How would this change who we talk to, how we talk to them, and how we listen to them? How could it change your life? And could it change others' lives forever? If we want to find the answers to those questions, humility is the key. Like Paul, if we want to pass on the good news with humility, we have to start listening to God more closely. For the next few minutes, we're going to practice listening to God by asking questions like these:

How has my lack of humility kept me from passing on the good news in the past?

What's one way I need to practice being more humble?

How can I be more aware about passing on the good news to others in my life?

Who is one person I can focus on this week, besides myself?

Who is someone who needs to hear the good news and how can I help?

Prayer slide w/instrumental music

INSTRUCTIONS: Spend a few moments in prayer with some quiet music playing in the background. You and I have had the opportunity to hear the greatest news ever — that Jesus is alive and he came to rescue us. And now we have the opportunity to pass that news onto others. This week and every week, I hope you will . . .

Pass on the good news with your whole life — not just with words. Pass on the good news to unexpected people — even the people you struggle to love or accept. Pass on the good news to your family by the way you love them. And pass on the good news with humility — because it's not about us and what we can do. It's about Jesus and what he's already done for us.

RESPONSE | The Pass It On Challenge

You did it! Almost. This is the last step in the Pass It On Challenge. You've listened to other people's faith stories. You've reflected on and practiced telling your own. But now's your chance to finally tell your story! You might be a little nervous. You might be excited. You might be worried it's going to be awkward. But don't stress. You've got this and we're here to celebrate you every step of the way. Whether you decide to share your story publicly on social media, or publicly at church, or with a small group of people, or one-on-one with someone specific, remember — your story matters and you've got an important message to pass along to others. So here's what we're going to do . . .

Share your story of how you came to Jesus Christ.

Here are some ways you can do that:

On Social Media- either written down or in video… using hashtag #passitonchallenge

Here in front of your youth group

One-on-One in person or through text! (You can practice with your small group leader!)

. But hey, don't forget! Sharing your story of faith isn't a one-time event, just like passing on the good news of Jesus isn't a one-time event! This challenge is, hopefully, just the beginning. You don't have to wait for us to prompt you to tell your story. You have a story to share and you can share it any day, at any time, with anyone who might need to hear it. Whether you're at lunch, in the hallway, texting a friend, playing video games, or hanging out with your family, your story is a reflection of the story of Jesus. And his story is always worth passing on.