The Profound Mystery of a Christian Marriage

Introduction

Marriage may be why we are here, but it is not what today is really about. The significance to this day goes deeper than vows, rings, and a lifetime of covenant faithfulness. Today is about Christ and his bride, his redeemed people the church. Today we celebrate with our dear brother and sister, but more significantly we worship the God who glorifies himself in what we will witness today. This is a stage, and the players portray something greater, higher, and deeper: the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ. This is Gospel Theatre.

The Creation Ordinance of Marriage and its Greater Meaning

Our text directly quotes Genesis 2:24 as Paul describes the role of a husband in marriage.

Husbands called to love their wives as they love their own bodies. However, as familiar as this command may be to us, we may easily overlook the important revelation in the nature of human love being shown to us here.

Verse 25 brings to us to this picture of Christ loving the church so as to give himself up for her on the cross. Following this are two hina clauses, one in verse 26 and one in verse 27. Both indicate purpose resulting in a chain of events. He gave himself up so that he might sanctify her, so that he might present the church to himself.

In other words, the reason Jesus gave himself up for his bride was so that she might be made holy by his holiness, washed with the word, and thus ready to be presented as his gorgeous bride in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing.

But Paul goes even further, holding husbands to love their wives as their own bodies. This definition of covenant love is not reserved ffor marriage, as all of God’s people are called to love their neighbour as themselves. But in the case of a marriage, there is a double meaning. Not only is he loving her as a neighbour, but as his wife and thus as his own body. The love between neighbours is the love between body part and body part, hand for foot, eye for ear, but this is love that is additionally head for body.

Verses 29-30 then become very precious to us.

Ephesians 5:29–30 ESV

For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.

If we break that down, we see that this is saying much more about Christ’s relationship to us than it does a husband’s relationship to his wife. A husband’s love is the love of the head with the body. He nourishes his body, cleans it, feeds it, cares for it in every way “just as Christ does the Church.”

But the beauty of verse 30, “because we are members of his body.” Theses words help us understand our text.

It is not that Paul thinks Moses, in writing Genesis 2:24, was not talking about human marriage. But as Paul fits this quote into his instruction to husbands, his logic is this: Christ cares for his bride with the care that one has for their own body. We are the body of Christ. Therefore, when someone seperates from the household of their parents and forms a one-flesh relationship with their spouse, they play the same role, acting out this united love that Christ has for his bride.

This causes Paul to exclaim that the central truth in Genesis 2:24 is not to be found in human marriage, but in the love of Jesus Christ for those he has redeemed. The same could be said of the Song of Songs, where a love serenade between two human lovers approaching marriage typologically convays the much more powerful truth of Christ’s tender love for his body and bride.

The Mystery

In verse 32, Paul declares that the mystery portrayed in the words of verse 31 is profound. The mystery he is referring to is the mysterious process of an individual leaving their family in order to join with their spouse. The word “leave” refers to a ceasing of the relationship as it previously existed, not that he leaves his relationship with his parents, but that his place as a member of his parents home is replaced by his unity with his wife. The two becoming one flesh is where Paul gets this idea of the church being the body of Christ. The relationship between a husband and wife is a relationship of flesh and blood, with all the loyalty and care that one gives to their own body.

It certainly is right to call this a mystery. Family is an extention of oneself, with the language of shared blood referring to the closeness of its members, so it would be natural to love you family as yourself, since in a sense they are an extention of that through blood and relation. But marriage mysteriously is the process of detaching yourself from you natural family to unite, flesh and blood, to another. So in marriage, the wife says, “I will serve my husband as a body serves the purposes of the head,” and the husband says, “I will love my wife with the tenderness and care that someone has for their own body.”

But Paul’s argument? This isn’t ultimately about marriage, but about Christ’s unfailing love for his bride the church.

That brings us to a view of marriage saturated with the Gospel, the work of Jesus, and his love, not ours. We aren’t here for the bride and groom, we are here for Christ. This cerimony, these vows, the lifelong commitment from this on, has nothing to do with a human marriage and everything to do with the picture that marriage paints; one of the deep, sensitive love that Christ has for his people.

A Married Life That is Not About the Married

So how shall we conclude a wedding message that isn’t about the wedding? What can we take away from a marriage that isn’t about the married? Paul’s answer in verse 33 is this

Ephesians 5:33 ESV

However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

In other words, despite the fact that marriage isn’t about the married, our marriages are still important. They are important because they are not about us, they are about God. And so I want to end this message with some words to our bride and groom here today:

The first application is this: let your marriage never be about yourselves. Remember Paul’s words, “I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” Since you both have chosen to enter into a covenant which is described in Genesis 2:24 and which Paul says refers to Christ’s love for his church, you are knowingly entering into a relationship that exists for one purpose: the glory of Christ and his love.

The second application is this: In your marriage, look for love at the source, not in your spouse.

The third application: Let your marriage display a love no your own.

Tertullian

From a letter by Tertullian, an Early Church Father, to his wife, ca. 202 AD.

How beautiful, then, the marriage of two Christians, two who are one in hope, one in desire, one in the way of life they follow, one in the religion they practice.

They are as brother and sister, both servants of the same Master. Nothing divides them, either in flesh or in Spirit. They are in very truth, two in one flesh; and where there is but one flesh there is also but one spirit.

They pray together, they worship together, they fast together; instructing one another, encouraging one another, strengthening one another.

Side by side they face difficulties and persecution, share their consolations. They have no secrets from one another, they never shun each other’s company; they never bring sorrow to each other’s hearts… Psalms and hymns they sing to one another.

Hearing and seeing this, Christ rejoices. To such as these He gives His peace. Where there are two together, there also He is present, and where He is, there evil is not.