Lead by Example - 1 Timothy 4:12

Intro

As each of you are graduating and entering into a new stage of life, you are going to have an opportunity to be used by God wherever He places you. And just because you are young and still learning does not mean God cannot use you to make a huge impact for the Kingdom.

Paul wrote a couple letters to a young leader named Timothy in which he says the same thing to him. Paul is encouraging Timothy to be a leader and to set an example for all the believers, many of whom were older and more experienced than he was. And yet Paul was convinced that despite Timothy’s youth, he could be just as influential to the church as anyone else. He wasn’t the leader of tomorrow. He was the church’s leader at that very moment.

In fact, do you want to know what leadership is? It is not being in a position of power and authority where you tell people what to do. Leadership is leading the way and setting an example so others can follow. Leading is servanthood on display so others can learn to be servants as well.

This slide is a perfect definition of leadership.

You are leaders today whether you recognize that or not. We are all leading in some form or fashion. We are either leading people to Christ and a deeper understanding of and relationship with Him or we are leading people away from Him. But either way, we are all leaders. How are you going to lead as you go into this next stage of life.

Read 1 Timothy 4:12

1 Timothy 4:12 ESV

Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.

Leading in holy conduct

The first two ways God calls Timothy to lead in is through speech and conduct. These are both outward and observable aspects of our relationship with Christ. And as we grow in Christ, there should be a change towards holiness in how we conduct our lives.

Peter quotes that great command in Leviticus when he says in 1 Peter 1:14-16

1 Peter 1:14–16 ESV

As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.”

Paul is giving Timothy this same command when he tells him to set an example for the believers in speech and in conduct.

A. Leading in our Speech

We are called to lead in our speech, which means we must be self-controlled in what we say. Of course, when we say self-control I do not mean we simply work out of our own strength. Remember, self-control is a fruit of the Spirit, so even here, we must rely on the Spirit to help us control our speech.

The tongue can get us into a lot of trouble.

James 3:5–6 ESV

So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell.

One of the most common problems we as people have is that we talk too much. It’s been said we have two ears and one mouth so we should listen twice as much as we speak. However, very rarely is there someone who has said, “Man I wish I would’ve spoken up here.” Most times its “I can’t believe I said that. I wish I could take that back.”

a. We can destroy the trust others have in us by what we say. We can break confidences and share information that was entrusted to us.

b. We can destroy other’s reputations and character by gossip. This would be a direct violation of the ninth commandment of do not bear false witness against your neighbor. If you have an issue with someone, take it straight to them. Do not talk about it with anyone else.

We can also simply bring dishonor to God by the words we speak and the conversations we take part in.

Ephesians 5:4 ESV

Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.

c. Sometimes we just need to stop and think before we say anything.

Proverbs 18:13 (ESV)

If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.

Proverbs 15:28 (ESV)

The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.

We can set an example for other believers in how we use our words and our mouths. Seek to bring honor to Christ through your words and to build others up.

B. Leading in our Actions

Speech and conduct go together because these are both observable aspects of our character.

So Paul tells Timothy to set an example for the believers in his conduct. This is what he does and how he behaves towards others.

Now, we must make it clear that we are not saved by our works. But if we are saved, we will have works that follow.

Ephesians 2:8–10 ESV

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

We are not saved by good works, but we are saved to do good works. You show the genuineness of your salvation by how you act and live towards others.

How do you treat those with whom you disagree? How do you behave in your relationships with the opposite gender? How are you influenced by those of the same gender? Do you honor Christ by how you live and relate to others? Can people see that something is different about you by the way you live and act?

This includes how you continue to show honor to your parents long after you leave the house, to how you live in purity with those of the opposite gender, the words you use in your speech, the work ethic, honesty and respect you show to your employer, the priority you place on your relationship with God and the time you spend with Him.

Leading in Holy Character

we have to realize that our conduct will follow our character, so while what we do is important, who we are is much more so. You are called to lead in who you are and lead others to desire a change o& heart and character as well. There are two things we see about character that Paul lists here.

A. Leading in our Love for our Neighbor

Our society and culture speaks of loving others. But when it does so, it speaks of it as if love is simply total agreement with someone else. If you disagree then you can’t love someone else.

Or it speaks of love as a feeling of affection and desire for someone else.

If love is simply limited to our culture’s definitions, then it would be impossible to truly love our neighbor as ourselves.

What does it mean to love, as Paul tells Timothy to do?

1 Corinthians 13:4–7 ESV

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Paul gives us a definition of love that is true and is able to be shown to everyone regardless of our relationship to them.

This is the kind of love that Paul is encouraging Timothy to show. Be patient and kind towards others as you go through life. This does not mean you have to agree with them. But be kind and respectful even as you disagree. i.e. becareful of social media and how you interact with others on that very dangerous platform. It is easy to become unkind and rude when you can’t look someone else in the eye.

Love does not envy the blessings someone else is receiving. And it doesn’t boast in what you have received. Love does not insist on your own way. This is a big one. Again, in our culture we are taught to look out for number 1, to take care of your self first. Love, however, looks out for those around us.

What kind of impact do you think we could have if every one of us in here today could live our lives placing the needs of others above our own? Paul is telling Timothy to live this way and to set an example for the other believers so they might follow in his footsteps. As you go forth, whether going on to college or going into the work force, set in example of how you love the people God puts around you.

Seek to honor and respect your professors and your bosses, even when they are hard to like. Again you do not have to agree with them, but you do need to submit to them, as Paul lays out in Ephesians 5.

Sometimes you do need to speak hard truth to your friends and family. Love does not delight in wrongdoing. But be sure before you have that hard conversation that your heart and motivation is to love them and to restore them. If your desire is to see them fall then you might not be the best one to talk with them about a struggle they are going through.

In all these things, lead by having a heart for loving people and wanting to seek the best for them. You can set an example for the church to follow and you are bound to make an impact in the culture and world around you as you do so.

B. Leading in our Love for God

Next, Paul mentions faith and purity, which refer to our love for God.

First, he tells Timothy to set an example in his faith.

Faith is the aspect of our relationship with God where we live by trusting in Him. This is not just a verbal and mental ascent to what we believe is true in our minds. Faith is the active living out of our belief. True faith is going to lead to obedience to God.

There will be times in life in which you are going to face some kind of hardship and you are going to be tempted to find a solution to that hardship on your own.

Examples: Your grades aren’t where they need to be and you are being offered with the chance to get the answers to an upcoming exam from someone else who has taken that class. Do you take those answers or do you study hard and trust that God will give you what you need to pass the class, even if it means having to retake the class because you didn’t make the grade like you had hoped?

Your boss at work is asking you to change some information on their records to help make his reports look better. Your job is on the line. Do you go along with what he is asking and essentially lie or do you live by faith and do what is right knowing God will take care of you even if it means losing your job?

Timothy is to be an example of living a lifestyle of faith and exercising his trust in God. We may not have to go through extreme examples like this one, but how do we demonstrate our faith as we live day by day? How do we show others that we trust that God is going to take care of us, even when it doesn't seem to make sense?

And then he mentions purity. Yes it does include sexual and relational purity, but it goes deeper than that. Paul is telling Timothy to have purity in his relationship with God.

This means to make sure that God Himself is the priority in Timothy’s life, that nothing else Timothy has or does compares to the place God has in his heart. It means that Timothy is living a life of integrity and that what he says he believes is being lived out through his life. It is a purity of character that shows itself in the wholeness of his life. Do not say you believe one thing and then do something else. True love for God is going to lead to an integrity of Character.

Finding Holiness in the Gospel

A. Just like we looked at when we talked about Jesus being the True Vine, we cannot have this holy character and live holy lives apart from abiding in Christ.

B. We need to first be changed by the power of the Gospel.

We need to see our sinfulness and our need for Christ.

Our sin is so great that Christ came to take the penalty of that sin upon Himself by dying upon the Cross

As we place our faith in Him, He gives us His Spirit through which we receive the changed character and the power to live the holy lives He calls us to.

C. We need to spend time in God’s Word daily and remind ourselves of our need for Christ. This is what Christ meant by abiding in Him. And Paul is going to tell Timothy to devote Himself to the public reading of Scripture, to exhortation, to teaching. Why? because he knows it is through this regular practice of spending time in the word that can lead to a changed heart and a changed life.

D. The same is true for you. Wherever you go, devote yourselves to the public gathering of believers. Of course, do not neglect your daily time spent in the presence of God. But we need other believers to help lead us and guide us even during our private times of worship. It is through those public times that we are encouraged and strengthened to continue to lead through the holiness God has called us to.

Conclusion