Untitled Sermon (2)

The bible doesn’t have a lot to say about dating. If we look at the bible in the context and culture it was written, dating wasn’t a thing, arranged marriages were more of the norm back in that day.

So the bible doesn't give very clear commands on how to date.

Our culture has taken over on saying how we should date, what we should do. In turn we have all made up our own “unwritten” rules of dating. (ASK FOR EXAMPLES) Example, boys ask girls out. Guys only pay for everything. You have to be physical to show your love for the other. How much time you spend together, more time = you love each other more.

BUT at the same time God does have a few written rules on how to treat one another that can clearly connect with dating relationships.

Honor and Respect

Romans 12:10

Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.

Philippians 2:3-4

3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit. But in humility consider others as more important than yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but rather to the interests of others.

Matthew 7:12

Therefore whatever you want others to do for you, do also the same for them…

The Bible is chalked full of instruction on the importance of us honoring and respecting others in an unselfish way. Remember a few weeks ago when Caleb talked about the difference between lust and love? Lust is selfish. Love is selfless. Your dating relationship does not suddenly allow you to treat the other person as your property or possession. It’s actually quite the opposite. More than ever, you should be on guard against selfish thinking. Respecting and honoring and guarding your significant other needs and heart to take high priority.

You need to respect and honor his/her family, his/her friends.

You need to respect and honor his/her walk with God.

You need to respect and honor his/her commitments.

You need to respect and honor his/her, “No!”

That last one sounds a little weird, so let me explain. I want you to hear my heart in this, but I also want you to hear how seriously I take this one. If you hear the word “no” from your date, it is to be respected. No means that. NO. Guys, if you are making any kind of move and she says “no” in words or in body language, you need to honor that. Girls, the same is true for you. And to either of you… if you are in a dating relationship where the other person does not seem to honor your “no,” you deserve much better than that. Get out and wait for someone who will honor and respect you in the way you will honor and respect him or her. Someone who will guard you NOT attack you.

Be equally yoked

2 Corinthians 6:14-15 (NIV):

14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15 What harmony is there between Christ and Belial[? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?

Let’s make sure we are all on the same page when it comes to understanding what a yoke is. In Bible times, you plowed a field by using animals to pull the plow through the dirt. You could get a lot more torque on the plow if you had multiple animals (usually oxen) pulling the plow. The yoke was a giant piece of wood and (sometimes) metal that you could put around both animals’ necks, connecting them together. The plow would then connect to that yoke and draw off both animals’ strengths.

For that yoke to be at its best, two things need to be true of the animals inside it. First, they need to be heading in the same direction. Second, they need to be near equal in their strength in order to evenly carry the load of the plow.

I hope you catch the connections to the dating world. If you claim to follow Christ and want to date someone who is not, you are really heading in different directions. Now, you may say, “Hey, I’ll influence him/her to start following Christ.” Maybe you can, but that is when you begin missionary dating. That is not our job. This also has a common outcome when overtime boundaries can be crossed or done with because morally you dont have the same mindset and moral standards.

To take it a step further, you need to take a moment and consider if the person you are dating or wish to date is at a similar mindset in his/her journey with Jesus as you are. Now, I’m not asking you to be super judgmental, and I’m also not saying you need to be perfectly aligned in every lesson God has taught or is teaching you. I’m just saying that if that person is fresh in their faith or just coming out of a major struggle, why not hold off and let their spiritual strength build up first?

Tell story about Mine and Calebs relationship in the beginning. The struggle of one of us being strong and the other is. Boundaries were pushed and not strong in living according to Gods word.

The bottom line in this one: make sure you are connecting with a person who is connected with and heading toward God with a similar spiritual intensity as you are.

Flee from sexual immorality

1 Corinthians 6:14 (NIV)

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.

Larry talked about this briefly last Wednesday. I’m not going to rehash everything. This is probably the clearest command in all of Scripture to set up a standard inside any dating relationship. All through Scripture the challenge is to place a high priority on having sexual integrity. Sex is an amazing gift created by God that He intended to be enjoyed in a marriage relationship. Do everything you can to keep any chance of compromise in this area off the table. Understand that even the most spiritually solid and focused couples need to keep this one a priority. This can also include the way you speak to eachother (inappropriate conversations), things you send eachother (pictures is the biggest thing here), how are you dressing??

sexual immorality comes in many forms not just physical act of sex.

Jesus needs to be first

Exodus 20:3

“You shall have no other gods before me.”

I saved this for last because I want it to be the last thing you hear bc this is the MOST important part of dating, marriage or any relationship.

NO ONE, NO PERSON will ever fulfill what your heart desires the way Jesus does and will.

We all will and do fall into the temptation of making our boo thang number one.

Just to be completely transparent, so yall know I am just as guilty, I CONSTANTLY put Caleb before Jesus and my time with him, I put my joy and satisfaction in him and I’d be lying if I said he was perfect and makes me complete. He constantly disappoints me. He lets me down. He tries his best to give me the things I tell him I need and it’s never enough.

We all fall into this, we idolize our boo, making them a little God. And the Lord strictly commands not to do such a thing. We are to put him first above all things.

I want to be straight forward and honestly as blunt as I can be. You are nothing, I am nothing, your boo is nothing without Jesus. If it wasn’t for him we’d all be in Hell. He created you. He created me. He is the reason we have breath. He created the ground you walk on, the water you drink. He is the reason we have all the good things in life. He absolutely deserves to be first in our life.

Without him we would have no hope, no joy, no light.

When we don’t make him our number one we are telling him He isn't worthy to be our one, and basic guy or girl is. Did they create you? No. Can they fulfill every desire of your heart? We already discussed this, No. Did they DIE for you to save you from the wrath of God? HECK NO, they’d take off running if they had the chance.

We need to put Christ first before we put our boyfriend or girlfriend.

And I want to end with this point. When we put our priority and our eyes on Christ first, all other things fall into place. It doesn't mean it’s going to be easy, but we do find true joy, peace, and complete satisfaction. We learn how to live and love those around us, and when we put God first we save the heartache of chasing the wrong person and he leads us to the right person (eventually, it's probably not now but some day.)