Commands of Christ-23

Wednesday, May 18, 2022 Commands of Christ – 23

A Christian’s Relationships: Within God’s family

1. Why are family relationships special?

Wikipedia

Human bonding is the process of development of a close, interpersonal relationship between two or more people. It most commonly takes place between family members or friends,[1] but can also develop among groups, such as sporting teams and whenever people spend time together. Bonding is a mutual, interactive process, and is different from simple liking. It is the process of nurturing social connection.

Bonding typically refers to the process of attachment that develops between romantic or platonic partners, close friends, or parents and children. This bond is characterised by emotions such as affection and trust. Any two people who spend time together may form a bond.

There is an emotional/physical bond between parents and their children established at birth.

Wikipedia: Of all human bonds, the maternal bond (mother–infant relationship) is one of the strongest. The maternal bond begins to develop during pregnancy; following pregnancy, the production of oxytocin during lactation increases parasympathetic activity, thus reducing anxiety and theoretically fostering bonding. It is generally understood that maternal oxytocin circulation can predispose some mammals to show caregiving behavior in response to young of their species.

In contrast to the maternal bond, paternal bonds tend to vary over the span of a child's development in terms of both strength and stability.

In fact, many children now grow up in fatherless households and do not experience a paternal bond at all.

In general, paternal bonding is more dominant later in a child's life after language develops.

Fathers may be more influential in play interactions as opposed to nurturance interactions.

Father–child bonds also tend to develop with respect to topics such as political views or money, whereas mother–child bonds tend to develop in relation to topics such as religious views or general outlooks on life.[Rossi, A. & Rossi, P. (1990). Of Human Bonding: Parent Child Relations Across the Life Course. Chicago: Aldine. ISBN 0-202-30361-6]

We realize that repenting of our sins and making Jesus Lord of our life can rupture those closest, earliest family bonds and for our emotional well being we must for NEW “family” bonds — bonds with other believers. (Agree-Disagree)

Matthew 10:34–39 (NASB95) “Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 “For I came to SET A MAN AGAINST HIS FATHER, AND A DAUGHTER AGAINST HER MOTHER, AND A DAUGHTER-IN-LAW AGAINST HER MOTHER-IN-LAW; 36 and A MAN’S ENEMIES WILL BE THE MEMBERS OF HIS HOUSEHOLD. 37 “He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. 38 “And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. 39 “He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it.

Acts 2:40–45 (NASB95) And with many other words he solemnly testified and kept on exhorting them, saying, “Be saved from this perverse generation!” 41 So then, those who had received his word were baptized; and that day there were added about three thousand souls. 42 They were continually devoting themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43 Everyone kept feeling a sense of awe; and many wonders and signs were taking place through the apostles. 44 And all those who had believed were together and had all things in common; 45 and they began selling their property and possessions and were sharing them with all, as anyone might have need.

Hebrews 10:23–25 (NASB95) Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; 24 and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, 25 not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.

2-fold admonition: Since we have turned to Jesus and “have confidence to enter the holy place by the Blood of Jesus (vs.19) - personally “hold fast”

CBL Dictionary - An almost technical sense of “hold fast”; “adhere to,” in the sense of following obediently, occurs in reference to Christian teaching and tradition. The faithful persevere and “hold fast” to the Word (Luke 8:15; cf. 1 Corinthians 11:2; 15:2; Hebrews 3:6,14; 10:23).

Secondly - it seems of major importance that we MUTUALLY (not one-sided) strengthen the bonds with our “church family.”

The name of our church is New Life Family Church. The name implies that we believe something about family is important. What are your impressions?

Our church, should want to help people who leave their family behind because they accept Christ.

I think it is appropriate for our area because many leave their physical family bonds (they weren’t strong?).

W minister to those who leave their family behind for other reasons and have no immediate family.

It seems most of us feel a need to bond with people outside of our family.

(Agree-Disagree)

Those bonds will have a tremendous effect upon the trajectory of our life.

1 Corinthians 15:33 (TPT) So stop fooling yourselves! Evil companions will corrupt good morals and character.

Wikipedia: Social connection is the experience of feeling close and connected to others. It involves feeling loved, cared for, and valued,[1] and forms the basis of interpersonal relationships.

"Connection is the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard and valued; when they can give and receive without judgement; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship." —Brené Brown, Professor of social work at the University of Houston[2]

Increasingly, social connection is understood as a core human need, and the desire to connect as a fundamental drive

We could go to a bar and forge bonds with others.

Affinity Groups: Ages (Seniors Center, Clubs, crafts, hobbies.

Mental Health Groups (Thoughts?)

Neighbors

Politics

Church

Lesson writer intro:

Purpose: To describe the quality of relationships the Father desires for his children.

The Christian community is a family, God's family. We need a strong awareness, therefore, of God as our Father and of our fellow Christians as brothers and sisters through Christ. At the same time we can never forget our responsibility to those outside the family, whom we long to see brought in. In Matthew 7:1-12 Jesus introduces us to these basic relationships.

Read: Matthew 7:1-5

2. Our relationship with our brothers & sisters: Why does Jesus tell us not to judge others (Matthew 7:1-2)?

Luke 6:37 (NASB95) “Do not judge, and you will not be judged; and do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; pardon, and you will be pardoned.

Romans 14:10–13 (NASB95) But you, why do you judge your brother? Or you again, why do you regard your brother with contempt? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. 11 For it is written, “AS I LIVE, SAYS THE LORD, EVERY KNEE SHALL BOW TO ME, AND EVERY TONGUE SHALL GIVE PRAISE TO GOD.” 12 So then each one of us will give an account of himself to God. 13 Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this—not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother’s way.

Contrary commands?

Luke 12:57 (NASB95) “And why do you not even on your own initiative judge what is right?

John 7:24 (NASB95) “Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment.”

1 Corinthians 5:12 (NASB95) For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Do you not judge those who are within the church?

1 John 4:1 (NASB95) Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.

Matthew 18:17 (NASB95) “If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

So, what is Jesus forbidding?

Lenski: What he forbids is the self-righteous, hypocritical judging which is false and calls down God’s judgment on itself.

POSB: It is fault-finding; it is being picky. It is the habit of censorious and carping criticism. It is not the moral judgments that have to be made sometimes (cp. 1 Cor. 5:3-5, 12-13); not the specific occasions when value judgments have to be made; not the careful discrimination that is sometimes necessary (Matthew 7:6).

There are several reasons why people tend to judge and criticize.

1. Criticism boosts our own self-image. Pointing out someone else's failure and tearing him down makes us seem a little bit better, at least in our own eyes. It adds to our own pride, ego, and self-image.

2. Criticism is simply enjoyed. There is a tendency in human nature to take pleasure in hearing and sharing bad news and shortcomings.

3. Criticism makes us feel that our own lives (morality and behavior) are better than the person who failed.

4. Criticism helps us justify the decisions we have made and the things we have done throughout our lives. We rationalize our decisions and acts by pointing out the failure of others.

5. Criticism points out to our friends how strong we are. Criticism gives good feelings because our rigid beliefs and strong lives are proven again. Proven how? By our brother's failure.

6. Criticism is an outlet for hurt and revenge. We feel he deserves it. Subconsciously, if not consciously, we think, "He hurt me so he deserves to hurt, too." So we criticize the person who failed.

There are several reasons why no person should ever criticize.

1. All the circumstances and all the facts are never known. What happened and why it happened are just not known. There are always many behind-the-scene facts. Children and parents, wife and husband, employer and employee, friend and friend—things happen when they are alone behind closed doors. And unfortunately there is something seldom remembered: when people emerge from the closed doors and enter the public, the one who does the talking does not always reveal the true facts. The spirit of talk to others is the spirit of self-justification. The spirit of silence is the spirit of caring and compassion. The spirit of silence is always the spirit which desires no hurt for others, at least no more pain than what has to be borne.

2. All people—religious as well as non-religious—come short, fail, and fall. And we all sin often (1 John 1:8, 10). No one is ever exempt from sin. When we criticize and judge, we have a problem: we forget that we are sinners. When we acknowledge our own true condition, we act with care and compassion toward all as they come short. They are failing now; we failed before. Our friend shall fail later. No one is ever exempt from sin. It is a continual cycle that is the downfall of mankind. The believer must always remember that his righteousness is Jesus Christ, and he is always dependent upon Christ's righteousness (2 Cor. 5:21; Phil. 3:8-16). He must always be seeking God's forgiveness and forgetting those things that are behind.... (1 John 1:9; Phil. 3:13-14).

Now this does not mean that we have license to sin nor that our sin is excused. We are not to continue in sin, not by criticizing nor by doing any other evil. But we must acknowledge our weakness and remember that the person who really knows God is the person who is ever seeking God. "He that cometh to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him" (Hebrews 11:6).

3. All there is to know about a person is never known. How then can we criticize? Think about childhood for a moment. Eighteen years is a long time. Day by day moves into a week, and week by week stretches into a month, and month by month lasts and lasts until a year has arrived. And year by year is a long, long time for a child to be molded into an adult. What kind of mother, what kind of father, what kind of friends did the failing person have to influence and mold him? What kind of genes and temperament has he inherited and developed: fiery, composed, inferior, strict, strong, lovable, shy? So much goes into influencing a human life that only God can know a person, know him well enough to judge him. Certainly we can never know one another well enough to pass judgment.

4. Judging others usurps God's authority. When a person criticizes another, he is saying that he is worthy and has the right to be the Judge over other lives. He is claiming the right to be God, which is ridiculous. Yet most lay claim to the right at one time or another, and some claim the right to exercise a judgmental spirit all the time.

Note what Scripture says, "Who are thou that judgest another man's servant? To his own master [God] he standeth or falleth. Yea, he shall be holden up: for God is able to make him stand" (Romans 14:4; cp. James 4:11-12).

Jesus condemned judging (especially in the sense of finding fault with or condemning) one's "brother" (cf. 5:21ff.). "Brother" (verse 3) equals fellow member of the community of the faithful (cf. 5:22, 43, 47). The one judging his brother will be judged by God. Only the Lord knows the motives behind our words and deeds; therefore, judgment is His prerogative alone. Rather than expecting His disciples to judge one another, Jesus asks His followers to be forgiving and merciful so that they may receive forgiveness and mercy as well (Matthew 5:7; 18:34, 35; cf. James 2:12, 13).

Swindoll: The first principle Jesus expounded relates to judging others: Exhortation must come from a position of love and humility rather than hypocritical pride. Far too many Christians, however, like to play a game I’ll call “Let’s Label,” also known as “The Judging Game.” The gameplay is pretty simple: Someone finds something they don’t like or agree with about a person, usually by quickly and superficially surveying the person’s external qualities. Then they jump to negative, critical opinions about that person. These self-proclaimed judges never take the time to dig deeply, get the facts straight, and draw fair conclusions about a person. Instead, they slap the person with a label and then interpret all that person’s words and actions through that grid. Finally—and this is key—they share their inaccurate observations and conclusions openly and freely with others.

In the Christian life, if worry is our favorite pet sin, then judging is our favorite pastime. Worry represents a lack of faith and trust in God; judging flows from a lack of love and acceptance of others. Even though Jesus spoke firmly against judging others, we go right on playing this wicked, destructive game. How much clearer could Jesus have been than “Do not judge” (7:1)?

Why is it wrong to judge others? First, we can never know all the facts about a person or see into their hearts to know their motives. Only God can do that. First Samuel 16:7 says, “God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” Second, in our fallen, frail, and finite condition, we are necessarily prejudiced people, which means we’re never able to be completely objective. We prejudge based on our limited perspective and little information. Third, when we judge others, we place ourselves in a position we’re not qualified to fill. God is the all-knowing, just Judge; we’re in no position to play God.

With this background, we need to clear up what Jesus did not mean when He said “Do not judge” in Matthew 7:1. He didn’t mean for us to be naïve and lack discernment. In fact, the Lord would soon warn His listeners to “beware of the false prophets” (7:15), which requires discernment. Likewise, 1 John 4:1 says believers are to “test the spirits to see whether they are from God.”

This requires observation, weighing facts, and drawing conclusions.

Jesus’ warning in the Sermon on the Mount against hypocritically judging others doesn’t mean we’re to support false teachers blindly or neglect our responsibility to call out genuine deception or wickedness when we see it.

In fact, local churches have a responsibility to “judge” a so-called brother or sister who claims the name of Christ but is clearly engaged in unrepentant and ongoing sin (1 Cor. 5:11-13).

But the calm, careful, corporate discipline of a local church is very different from the labeling and judging that occurs between individuals who are fueled by hypocritical pride.

What Jesus is condemning in the Sermon on the Mount is a judgmental, negative, haughty attitude that assesses others with a suspicious spirit.

People who have such an attitude are always on the hunt for faults, mistakes, or imperfections in others.

And they find them! There are always petty flaws and failures to be exposed. They do this out of an attitude of superiority, presumption, prejudice, and pride. The result is a destructive, condemning attitude and a blindness to one’s own faults. This is the glaring hypocrisy that Jesus emphasizes here.

Judging others is not only destructive for the person who is unjustly and prematurely labeled and condemned. Jesus made it clear that playing the role of judge also has harmful effects on the person doing the judging!

First, the attitude we demonstrate will result in the same attitude from others toward us (Matt. 7:1-2). We’ll get back what we dish out. You’ve probably heard the saying “What goes around comes around.”

Jesus affirmed the basic proverbial truth of this, but not in a karmic sense.

The reality is that if we exhibit a hypocritical, judgmental spirit, it will come back to bite us.

When we fail to show grace to others, it will be more difficult for others to show grace to us when we need it.

When we point our fingers at others, we’ll draw the attention of those with critical attitudes. When we apply unjust standards to others, we shouldn’t be surprised when others apply unjust standards to us.

Second, a hypocritical, judgmental attitude can result in our own condemnation before God.

By acting like we’re qualified to pass quick, merciless judgment, we’re placing ourselves in a position of moral superiority. The apostle Paul says, “Therefore you have no excuse, everyone of you who passes judgment, for in that which you judge another, you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things” (Rom. 2:1). Those who play “Let’s Label” are equally as guilty before God as those with whom they find fault, because “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Rom. 3:23).

CBL: 7:2. This verse reflects a common thought in Judaism, and Jesus reiterated this important principle: what a man sows, he will also reap (Job 4:8; Proverbs 22:8; Galatians 6:7). But in contrast to the rabbis who understood this principle in the sense of a strictly corresponding reimbursement for words and deeds, Jesus recognized another standard, the standard of mercy which is based upon love and forgiveness. Mercy does not repay evil for evil, as the rabbis would have recommended.

The context makes it plain that "judgment" here has nothing to do with "discerning spirits." Jesus warned against false prophets in verses 15-20 and even gave the criteria for distinguishing them (see also commentary on 16:19).

Christ-Centered Exposition: Jesus is not telling us to overlook sin in one another. Rather, Jesus is responding to Pharisees who have elevated themselves and demeaned others who didn't live up to their own particular standards. This was the Pharisees' way of life, their program of holiness. And Jesus' response to that is not to tell them to forget about holiness or to stop pointing out sin; rather, His response is to exhort them to consider their own sin before they begin pointing out sin in others.

Undoubtedly, we should be willing to encourage one another and point out sinful habits in others, but only after a time of reflection on the ways that sin is present in our own life. And then, even when we do that, all of our correction, all of our admonition, and all of our encouragement should be seasoned with love, grace, and evident humility.

Pulpit Commentary: Parallel passage: Luke 6:37. Judge not. Not merely "do not condemn," for this would leave too much latitude; nor, on the other hand, "do not ever judge," for this is sometimes our duty; but "do not be always judging" (μὴ κρίνετε). Our Lord opposes the censorious spirit.

Ironside: But we are not to attempt to sit in judgment on the hidden motives.

We are so easily prejudiced and our snap judgments are wrong so often. We cannot read the heart or discern the thoughts. This is God's prerogative alone. If we disobey this command we need not be surprised if others pass judgment on us in a similar way.

"With what measure ye mete." We will be measured ourselves by the same stringent rule that we apply to other men.

How might these verses expand on Jesus' statement about the merciful ( Matthew 5:7 )?

Matthew 5:7 (NASB95) “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.

If we show mercy, we will be more likely to receive mercy.

3. According to Jesus, why are we often unfit to be judges (Matthew 7:3-4)?

Question 3. The picture of somebody struggling with the delicate operation of removing a speck of dirt from a friend's eye, while a vast plank in his own eye entirely obscures his vision, is ludicrous. Yet when the caricature is transferred to ourselves and our ridiculous faultfinding, we do not always appreciate the joke. We have a fatal tendency to exaggerate the faults of others and minimize the gravity of our own.

4. Some have assumed that Jesus was forbidding all judgment, even in law courts. How would you respond to this suggestion?

Question 4. The context does not refer to judges in courts of law but rather to the responsibility of individuals to one another. Likewise, our Lord's injunction to "judge not" cannot be understood as a command to suspend our critical faculties in relation to other people, to turn a blind eye to their faults (pretending not to notice them), to eschew all criticism and to refuse to discern between truth and error, goodness and evil. Much of Christ's teaching in the Sermon on the Mount is based on the assumption that we will (indeed should) make value judgments.

If, then, Jesus was neither abolishing law courts nor forbidding criticism, what did he mean by "Do not judge"? It is not a requirement to be blind, but rather a plea to be generous. Jesus does not tell us to cease to be human (by suspending our critical powers which help to distinguish us from animals) but to renounce the presumptuous ambition to be God (by setting ourselves up as judges).

5. What steps must we take to truly help a brother or sister (Matthew 7:5)?

Question 5. Again, it is evident that Jesus is not condemning criticism as such, but rather the criticism of others when we exercise no comparable self-criticism; nor correction as such, but rather the correction of others when we have not first corrected ourselves.

Read: Matthew 7:6

6. Our relationship with "dogs" and "pigs": This is startling language from the lips of Jesus. What kinds of people do you think he refers to as "dogs" and "pigs" (Matthew 7:6)?

Matthew 15:21–28 (NASB95) Jesus went away from there, and withdrew into the district of Tyre and Sidon. 22 And a Canaanite woman from that region came out and began to cry out, saying, “Have mercy on me, Lord, Son of David; my daughter is cruelly demon-possessed.” 23 But He did not answer her a word. And His disciples came and implored Him, saying, “Send her away, because she keeps shouting at us.” 24 But He answered and said, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” 25 But she came and began to bow down before Him, saying, “Lord, help me!” 26 And He answered and said, “It is not good to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs.” 27 But she said, “Yes, Lord; but even the dogs feed on the crumbs which fall from their masters’ table.” 28 Then Jesus said to her, “O woman, your faith is great; it shall be done for you as you wish.” And her daughter was healed at once.

Why is it futile, even dangerous, to talk with such people about the gospel?

Question 6. By giving them these names, Jesus is indicating not only that they are more animals than humans, but that they are animals with dirty habits as well. The dogs he had in mind were not the well-behaved lapdogs of an elegant home but the wild pariah dogs, vagabonds and mongrels, which scavenged in the city's rubbish dumps. And pigs were unclean animals to the Jew, not—to mention their love for mud. The apostle Peter was later to refer to them by bringing together two proverbs: "A dog returns to its vomit" and "A sow that is washed goes back to her wallowing in the mud" (2 Peter 2:22). So then the "dogs" and "pigs" with whom we are forbidden to share the gospel pearl are not just unbelievers. They must rather be those who have had ample opportunity to hear and receive the good news, but have decisively—even defiantly—rejected it. We cheapen God's gospel by letting them trample it under foot. At the same time, to give people up is a very serious step to take.

LifeGuide Topical Bible Studies - Sermon on the Mount.

Read Matthew 7:7-11

7. Our relationship with our heavenly Father: What encouragement does Jesus give those who ask, seek and knock (Matthew 7:7-8)?

How can we be assured of these promises (Matthew 7:9-11)?

Question 7. All three verbs are present imperatives and indicate the persistence with which we should make our requests known to God. The force of Jesus' parable (Matthew 7:9-11) lies in a contrast rather than a comparison between God and men. It is another a fortiori or "how much more" argument: if human parents (although evil) know how to give good gifts to their children, how much more will our heavenly Father (who is not evil but wholly good) give good gifts to those who ask him (Matthew 7:11).

Read: Matthew 7:12

8. Our relationship with all people: The Jewish Talmud stated: "What is hateful to you, do not do to anyone else." Likewise, Confucius told his followers: "Do not to others what you would not wish done to you." How does the golden rule (Matthew 7:12) go beyond these commands?

Question 8. Not doing hateful acts is one thing (the Talmud and Confucius). Positively seeking someone's good is another (Jesus). Self-advantage often guides us in our own affairs; now we must also let it guide us in our behavior to others. All we have to do is use our imagination, put ourselves in the other person's shoes and ask, "How would I like to be treated in that situation?"

If someone asks about the Talmud, you can tell them that it is a collection of ancient rabbinic writings that form the basis of religious authority for traditional Judaism.

9. In what sense does this rule sum up the Law and the Prophets?

10. Think of a relationship that is presently strained or broken. How can this passage help to mend that relationship?

LifeGuide Topical Bible Studies - Sermon on the Mount.