8: DEVOTED OR DISTRACTED (1 Cor 7:10-40)

OPENING

JOKES

The bride didn't mean to gain wait before the wedding. She did it by snaccident.

When asked if the husband-to-be had cold feet, he replied, “Nope. I don’t have cold feet. They’re at groom temperature.”

Why do wives use twice as many words as their husbands? Because they always have to repeat themselves.

The father of the bride gave a speech at the wedding. He got the bride to put her hand out and the groom to place his hand on top of hers. He looked at the groom, and said, "this is the last time you'll ever have the upper hand."

A husband who found that to be true said, “I play the world’s most dangerous sport. I disagree with my wife.”

Marrying someone for their good looks is like buying a house for the paint color.

Marriage isn’t easy. Marriage is more than butterflies in the stomach, an eternal, invigorating, emotional experience.

Marriage is hard work that demands a love that will sacrifice, serve, forgiven & be faithful.

Marriage demands that you be DEVOTED to your spouse. But over time, many married folks get DISTRACTED by other things, and sometimes - other people.

So too, following Jesus is more than just an emotional experience. Christians are to be DEVOTED to the Lord. But it seems that many of us are DISTRACTED.

Today we are reminded that no-one and no-thing should distract us from the Lord Jesus having 1st place in our lives - including our spouse.

_________

Before we dive too deep, we need to establish some ground rules.

Remember who Paul is writing to - Corinthian Christians to answer their questions about marriage, separation, divorce, and remarriage. Roman marriages were typically arranged, especially by prosperous parents, with little personal choice from the married couple. [Ben Witherington III, Conflict and Community in Corinth: A Socio-Rhetorical Commentary on 1 and 2 Corinthians (Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 1995), 170–171.]

The Roman culture was different than the Jewish culture. While the Jewish culture did not allow a woman to divorce her husband, the Roman culture did. [Derek R. Brown and E. Tod Twist, 1 Corinthians, ed. John D. Barry and Douglas Mangum, Lexham Research Commentaries (Bellingham, WA: Lexham Press, 2013), 1 Co 7:17.]

Although Paul is teaching what Jesus taught on this issue, he also speaks to specifics that Jesus did not address.

While we will see what the Scriptures say about marriage, separation, divorce, and remarriage, there IS a bigger concern for Paul and should be for you and me…

1 Corinthians 7:35b (CSB)

...so that you may be devoted to the Lord without distraction.

So, here we go.

1 Corinthians 7:10–11 (CSB)

To the married I give this command—not I, but the Lord—a wife is not to leave her husband. But if she does leave, she must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband—and a husband is not to divorce his wife.

First, this is not Paul’s command, but a command from the Lord Jesus (Mat 5:31-32, Mk 10:11-12, Luke 16:18).

This is a broad brush statement, that Christians who are married should stay in the marriage.

Again, broad brush, for those spouses who refuse to stay, you have 2 options:

Stay unmarried until your spouse dies (v39).

Be reconciled to your spouse.

Jesus taught that neither men nor women were allowed to leave their marriage partner and pursue another, as this would be adultery.

The married believer can’t bail out on the relationship for any reason like, “I just don’t love him/her anymore” or “I’m just not happy, and God’s wants me to be happy.”

Actually, God wants you to be HOLY…to obey His commands, including staying in your marriage are serving your spouse.

There are, however, a few exceptions, where divorce and remarriage IS allowed. Jesus mentions one exception on two different occasions in Matthew’s gospel (Mt 5:32 & Mt 19:9).

Matthew 5:31–32 (CSB)

It was also said, Whoever divorces his wife must give her a written notice of divorce. But I tell you, everyone who divorces his wife, except in a case of sexual immorality, causes her to commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

The one exception for divorce that Jesus mentions is in the case of sexual immorality.

That’s the word porneia that Paul has used in 1 Cor 5:1, 6:13, 18, 7:2 - that broad-brush term for any kind of sexual activity outside of marriage.

So, according to Jesus, one can’t simply divorce your spouse for any reason and then marry someone else. This is adultery.

And since God still sees you as being married to your spouse, and you both become sexually intimate with other people, then you BOTH commit adultery.

Matthew’s notes Jesus speaking to the issue again later in his writing.

Matthew 19:9 (CSB)

I tell you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another commits adultery.”

So, in the case of sexual immorality, God allows for divorce and remarriage.

This should NEVER be the 1st option as the 1st option is forgiveness & restoration.

But can a person who has has biblical grounds for divorce be remarried? There are differing views here.

Some say Jesus allows for divorce in the case of adultery, but not remarriage.

Question: If God allows and recognizes the marriage as being over, then why couldn’t they be remarried?

Others say that Jesus implies that remarriage is an option for the innocent spouse. This was certainly true for Jews, if the Old Testament command to stone the adulterer was carried out. Obviously, the marriage would have been over, and the living spouse could then remarry.

It is my best understanding that God DOES ALLOW remarriage for the innocent spouse in the case of SEXUAL IMMORALITY, which is ADULTERY in a marriage relationship.

But are there any other EXCEPTIONS?

Yes, as we are about to see, there are.

1 Corinthians 7:12–14 (CSB)

But I (not the Lord) say to the rest: If any brother has an unbelieving wife and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. Also, if any woman has an unbelieving husband and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce her husband. For the unbelieving husband is made holy by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy by the husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is they are holy.

What does Paul mean by “I not the Lord say”? Paul is answering a question that Jesus didn’t specifically address. What would Jesus have said to this question? Paul gives his best answer as led by the Holy Spirit.

A Christian can’t up and leave their spouse because they don’t follow Jesus.

If you are a Christian who married someone who didn’t follow Jesus, that’s on you! You can’t quit your marriage because the person you married hasn’t converted to Christ.

If you started following Jesus after you married, you can’t divorce because you changed directions in the mid-stream of your marriage.

If your non-Christian spouse is willing to stay with you, you must not divorce him/her.

Further, according to Paul, the unbelieving spouse and children are made holy by the Christian spouse & parent.

This doesn’t mean that your spouse and children are saved because YOU are. God doesn’t have grandchildren - only children. The Scriptures are clear that an individual is saved by turning from sin and trusting in Jesus - not because of a relative’s faith.

But the Christian’s influence in the home will impact your household. Spouses and children should see the Christian acting like Jesus is alive and worthy of his/her life. God’s blessings to the believer will overflow to the family and God’s grace will be extended in a tangible way to the spouse and children!

How many people in this room were impacted by ONE GODLY FAMILY MEMBER? Maybe the rest of your family was NOT godly, but your mother, father, grandmother, grandfather lived their faith, talked about Jesus, and prayed for you. That one godly family member or friend made a difference that impacts your life years later!

But…what if the non-Christian spouse doesn’t want to stick around with the spouse who follows Jesus? That’s a great question…and here’s the answer.

1 Corinthians 7:15–16 (CSB)

But if the unbeliever leaves, let him leave. A brother or a sister is not bound in such cases. God has called you to live in peace. Wife, for all you know, you might save your husband. Husband, for all you know, you might save your wife.

What does “not bound” mean?

Craig Keener notes that “Paul’s words recall the exact language for freedom to remarry in ancient divorce contracts” and his ancient audience would have understood his words that way.

Craig S. Keener, The Gospel of Matthew: A Socio-Rhetorical Commentary (Grand Rapids, MI; Cambridge, U.K.: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 2009), 191.

John MacArthur writes: “Throughout Scripture, whenever legitimate divorce occurs, remarriage is assumed. Where divorce is permitted, remarriage is permitted.”

John F. MacArthur Jr., 1 Corinthians, MacArthur New Testament Commentary (Chicago: Moody Press, 1984), 167.

However, Paul notes, if the unbeliever is willing to stay in the boat, the Christian spouse should too - and be ready to throw the life-preserver to the non-Christian spouse who realizes they need help. Christians spouse, God might use you to save them!

However, if the unbeliever leaves, the Christian is not bound to the marriage anymore, and is free to remarry since GOD SEES the marriage as being over.

So, according to Jesus - divorce is legitimate for ADULTERY - sexual immorality outside the marriage (Mt 5:31-32; Mt 19:9).

According to Paul - divorce is legitimate for ABANDONMENT, when one spouse leaves the other (1 Cor 7:15-16).

And I think there is one more exception for divorce and remarriage - to borrow the phrasing of Paul , “I (not the Lord)” would counsel a married person to divorce in the case of ongoing physical ABUSE. I can’t imagine Jesus asking a woman to stay in the marriage when she is being beaten by the husband who is being UNFAITHFUL to his vows to protect and provide for her, any more than I would expect a good earthly father to counsel his daughter to stay in the marriage.

HERE ME CLEARLY: In any of these situations, the Lord’s desire would be that both spouses REPENT of their sin toward Him and one another, and then be restored to recreate a marriage that loves God and one another.

And now we come to a chunk of Paul’s writing that really gets to the heart of today’s teaching where Paul focuses on being...

DEVOTED to the Lord, instead of being DISTRACTED by other things.

1 Corinthians 7:17–19 (CSB)

Let each one live his life in the situation the Lord assigned when God called him. This is what I command in all the churches. Was anyone already circumcised when he was called? He should not undo his circumcision. Was anyone called while uncircumcised? He should not get circumcised. Circumcision does not matter and uncircumcision does not matter. Keeping God’s commands is what matters.

Gentiles didn’t need to become good Jews by circumcision before following Jesus, the Jewish Messiah. Jews didn’t have to reverse the outward sign of circumcision. God wants His people to be circumcised in their souls, given a new heart that cares about what matters most - keeping God’s commands (Rm 2:27-29; Gal 5:6, 6:15; Col 2:11-14).

1 Corinthians 7:20–24 (CSB)

Let each of you remain in the situation in which he was called. Were you called while a slave? Don’t let it concern you. But if you can become free, by all means take the opportunity. For he who is called by the Lord as a slave is the Lord’s freedman. Likewise he who is called as a free man is Christ’s slave. You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of people. Brothers and sisters, each person is to remain with God in the situation in which he was called.

Paul’s encourages Christians to ‘bloom where you’re planted’ - to live for Jesus in whatever situation you find yourself in rather than putting all your effort into changing your status. We are to live as Christ’s slaves because we were bought at a price.

* Note: Many “slaves” in the Roman Empire were treated more like indentured servants who were part of the family rather than the harshly treated slaves in the 1800s of America.

1 Corinthians 7:25–28 (CSB)

Now about virgins [unmarried]: I have no command from the Lord, but I do give an opinion as one who by the Lord’s mercy is faithful. Because of the present distress, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife. However, if you do get married, you have not sinned, and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But such people will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you.

Why would Paul write this? Is he trying to keep Christians from getting married? Here’s his answer.

1 Corinthians 7:29–31 (CSB)

This is what I mean, brothers and sisters: The time is limited, so from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none, those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though they didn’t own anything, and those who use the world as though they did not make full use of it. For this world in its current form is passing away.

“Virgins” here refer to young people of marriageable age, not necessarily to those who have never had intercourse. Craig Blomberg, 1 Corinthians, The NIV Application Commentary (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 1994), 151.

Some think Paul was convinced that Jesus was coming back within his lifetime, since he writes that the time is limited.

Because of this, writes Craig Blomberg:

“All Christians should therefore sense an urgency to serving the Lord…[but] distractions of marriage may temper this urgency. So those who choose to wed must not become so preoccupied with their families that they can no longer effectively serve Christ.”

Craig Blomberg, 1 Corinthians, The NIV Application Commentary (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 1994), 152.

Whether Paul thought Jesus was returning soon or not, Paul was certainly more concerned about eternal impact than earthly issues and he understood that the time is limited for Christians to share Christs with our dying culture.

For example, the wife might want her husband to come home at a decent hour, but opportunities to share Jesus with others should be front burner.

Believers who live in this world must experience moments to weep, rejoice, buy and own stuff, but shouldn’t act like any of that is going to stick around forever because this world in its current form is passing away.

You and I have a LIMITED TIME to impact our culture. What are you doing to make a difference while your still can?

1 Corinthians 7:32–34 (CSB)

I want you to be without concerns. The unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. But the married man is concerned about the things of the world—how he may please his wife—and his interests are divided. The unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the things of the Lord, so that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But the married woman is concerned about the things of the world—how she may please her husband.

If you aren’t married, have you ever prayed this way?

“Lord, if it will honor you, I will remain unmarried and sexually pure the rest of my life, so you can use me without distractions.”

To remain unmarried (celibate) is NOT a curse. To remain unmarried doesn’t lessen a person’s purpose or value in any way. After all, the guy writing this - the apostle Paul - remained unmarried from the time of this writing until his death.

Paul is NOT commanding Christians NOT to marry, but letting them know this is an option, whereby a believer might be focused on how to please the Lord.

1 Corinthians 7:35 (CSB)

I am saying this for your own benefit, not to put a restraint on you, but to promote what is proper and so that you may be devoted to the Lord without distraction.

Does that describe YOU?

Engaged, Married, or unmarried - Are you devoted to the Lord Jesus? Is your primary goal today…to please HIM? Or is your primary goal to please someone else - a friend, a family member, a coach/teacher, or…YOURSELF?

Are you DEVOTED or DISTRACTED?

That’s the reason why Paul is writing about all of this.

Living happily ever after, but that isn’t about WHO you marry or IF you marry - it’s about WHO you are living for - it’s about whether you are DEVOTED to the Lord or DISTRACTED by other things.

We live in a world full of distractions. It’s HARD WORK to get still and rest, it’s a struggle to find a quiet place to pray and open the Scriptures.

We are distracted by the realities of real life, and we so often substitutive solitude for busyness and peace for pace.

And we don’t have time to talk much about DIGITAL DISTRACTIONS - movies, internet, social media. But how much time does THAT take from us?

This week, I’ll hope you will take the time to LIST the people, events, and practices of your life that consume your time.

Family, friends, work, school, sports, hobbies, technology, ect.

THEN, list the people, events, and practices of your life that demonstrate that you are DEVOTED to the Lord.

Time in Scripture & prayer? Spiritual friends who encourage you to love & obey Jesus? Church that challenges you to seek Jesus first?

If these lists are way out of balance, what should this tell you about whether you a DEVOTED or DISTRACTED?

Now we close out this passage with the last 4 verses of chapter 7, where Paul wraps all this up by encouraging followers of Jesus to keep Him in the middle of all that we do.

1 Corinthians 7:36–38 (CSB)

If any man thinks he is acting improperly toward the virgin he is engaged to, if she is getting beyond the usual age for marriage, and he feels he should marry—he can do what he wants. He is not sinning; they can get married. But he who stands firm in his heart (who is under no compulsion, but has control over his own will) and has decided in his heart to keep her as his fiancée, will do well. So, then, he who marries his fiancée does well, but he who does not marry will do better.

Engaged couples often struggle with acting improperly toward one another - that is - they struggle to remain sexually pure. If this is the case, the couple needs to get married quickly instead of living in sin.

If the couple can enjoy one another’s company without sexual activity, then the relationship can continue without immediate marriage.

Paul completes his thoughts on marriage, remarriage, and non-marriage with these words.

1 Corinthians 7:39–40 (CSB)

A wife is bound as long as her husband is living. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to anyone she wants—only in the Lord. But she is happier if she remains as she is, in my opinion. And I think that I also have the Spirit of God.

Remember the rest of what Paul has written in context: the Christian spouse who is abandoned is also free, not bound, and therefore able to marry again.

But the believer who is married, whom the non-believer is willing to stay with, is to STAY in the marriage until the spouse dies. After that, they may be remarried, but - and here is the principal for everyone in this room

If you are a follower of Jesus, it is God’s will that you marry someone only in the Lord - that you only marry a person who is a follower of the Lord Jesus.

If it’s tough to not be distracted when you ARE married to a Christian, it’s going to be super tough to keep Jesus first even you marry someone who doesn’t want to keep Jesus first.

FEET2FAITH

Seek Jesus 1st. Start your day in the Scriptures & prayer.

Ditch Distractions. Don’t let the good things become God things. Relationships, technology, & material possessions can all be GOOD THINGS, but when we live for them they become GOD THINGS, and that’s idolatry. Determine to wake up every day and be DEVOTED to the Lord!

STAFF

DEACONS

PRAY OVER GRADUATES