The Biblical Model for Marriage

Introduction

While there are only a few passages in God’s Word that specifically address the marriage relationship, they provide all that is necessary to understand God’s exalted view of marriage (based on Genesis 1:27-28; Genesis 2:18-25; Malachi 2:14; Matthew 19:3-6; Mark 10:6-9; 1 Corinthians 7:2-5, 10-16, 27-40; Ephesians 5:21-33; Colossians 3:18-19; Titus 2:4-5; Hebrews 13:4; 1 Peter 3:1-9).

God Has Ordained Marriage

When you marry, you commit yourself in a covenant before God to a lifetime of companionship with your spouse (Malachi 2:14; Proverbs 2:11-19, especially verses 17-18; Mark 10:6-9).

Your commitment to companionship is designed to provide for mutual help (Genesis 2:18) and to unify you and your marriage partner in every aspect of life (Genesis 2:24; Mark 10:8; Ephesians 5:31).

Your marriage commitment is sovereignly ordained and established by God and should never be dissolved (Genesis 2:18, 23-24; Proverbs 18:22; Mark 10:9). Only the sinfulness and corresponding hardness of heart in a marriage partner can lead to breaking the covenant relationship of marriage (Matthew 19:8-9; Mark 10:2-11, especially verses 4-5).

Your marriage relationship with your spouse is to be patterned after the relationship of the Lord Jesus Christ and His local church (Ephesians 5:21-33, especially verses 24-27).

God Has Established the Character of Marriage

Biblical love for your spouse is to be based on God’s love for you (based on 1 John 4:7-11) and must be practiced out of a desire to please the Lord (based on 2 Corinthians 5:9; Colossians 1:9-12, 3:17).

Marriage is to be a one-flesh relationship, not only physically but also in mind and purpose (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5-6; Mark 10:7-8; Ephesians 5:31).

In God’s sight, marriage partners are equal in value (1 Corinthians 11:11-12; Galatians 3:28) but have different responsibilities (Ephesians 5:23-25; Titus 2:3-5; 1 Peter 3:1-7).

As in all Biblically based relationships, marriage partners are to seek to have the same mind and same judgment (based on 1 Corinthians 1:10; Philippians 2:1-7).

All decisions are to be based on the principles of God’s Word (Psalm 19:7-11; Isaiah 55:8-11; 2 Timothy 3:16-17; Hebrews 4:12; 2 Peter 1:3-4).

If your spouse is an unbeliever, do not lose hope when your spouse does not base decisions solely on the Word of God, since the natural (unbelieving) person cannot understand or accept the things of God (1 Corinthians 2:14). This is not an impossible situation (Matthew 19:26; Romans 8:28-29; 1 Corinthians 10:13; Philippians 4:13) if you seek God’s wisdom (James 1:5) and continue to practice Christlike servanthood in your home (Philippians 2:3-4).

A believing spouse has the responsibility to present God’s truth to an unbelieving spouse in speech and actions that are Christ-honoring and Biblically submissive (based on Acts 1:8; Ephesians 4:15, 25, 29; 5:21; 1 Peter 3:1-9, 15).

While clear directives of Scripture are to be obeyed without compromise (based on 1 Samuel 15:22-23; Acts 5:29), preferring your spouse in matters of preference or opinion is the loving thing to do (Romans 12:10; Ephesians 5:21; Philippians 2:3-4; 1 Peter 3:1, 7).

Marriage partners are to leave the parent-child relationship with their own respective parents in order to cleave (permanently bond) with one another (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Ephesians 5:31).

Marriage is to be undefiled and is to be held in honor by all (Hebrews 13:4).

Marriage is to be marked by the loving servanthood of marriage partners to one another (Ephesians 5:21-33).

You are to serve your spouse lovingly (1 Corinthians 7:3-4; 1 Peter 3:1-9), as a believer is to do in all relationships (John 13:14-17; 1 Corinthians 13:4-8; Ephesians 5:21; Philippians 2:3-4; 1 John 3:18; 4:10-11).

You are to seek to be a fit help to your spouse (based on Genesis 2:18; Ephesians 5:24-25).

Jesus is the example of servanthood for you to follow in ministering to your spouse (Mark 10:43-45; Ephesians 5:24-25).

God Has Made the Marriage Relationship Basic to Society

Marriage is designed to give society stability in relationships and responsibilities (based on Genesis 1:28; 2:18, 23-24; Ephesians 5:21-33).

Marriage is designed to give the necessary stability for bearing and bringing up children (based on Genesis 1:28; Psalm 127:3).

A Biblical marriage relationship is designed to be a criterion for the evaluation of the maturity and development of potential elders in the local church (based on 1 Timothy 3:2, 4-5; Titus 1:5-6).

Marriage is integral to the life of a local church (based on Ephesians 5:21-33; 1 Timothy 3:2, 4-5; Titus 1:5-6, 2:3-5).

God Has Designed Some to Receive the Blessing of Remaining Single

If you are single, you have a great opportunity for ministry in the life of a local church family, since you do not have the responsibilities or potential distractions of married people (based on 1 Corinthians 7:32-35).

God has given singleness as a gift to some. He desires those who are presently single to be content and to bless others with their time, material goods, and energy, making the most of every opportunity to serve (based on Romans 12:1-2, 9-21; 1 Corinthians 7:32-35; Ephesians 5:16; Philippians 4:11-13, 19).