Your Integrity Our World | Week 2

[Have you ever had one of those days where you...]

Could literally eat everything in your house and still feel hungry?

[You know what I mean? One of those days where you feel like you are starving and you eat half the stuff in your house and it's like nothing you eat fills you up so you keep eating... in other words you are]

Ruled by an appetite

[we have all probably had those days or those moments. Maybe you went to the graduation party and you swore you would not eat the cake because you were trying to get healthy and you see the cake and... it's over.

APPETITES

Rule them, or they will rule you.

[They will rule you in spite of what you believe. We can believe right and do wrong. Most times, it’s an appetite that throws us out of alignment. For all these reasons and more, our appetites pose a threat to our integrity. Today, we’re in Part 2 of our series:]

Graphic: Title slide for Your Integrity, Our World

[In this series, we defined integrity as the resolve and courage to do the right and noble thing because it’s the right and noble thing to do regardless of the consequences. We celebrate it in others, and we expect it in the folks closest to us. We’re quick to point out what they ought to do, but we make excuses when we don’t do what we ought to do. Integrity or a lack of integrity is personal.]

INTEGRITY

Personal

[But it’s...]

Not private

[The load or consequence of a breach of integrity is transferred to the people around us. Your personal integrity breach impacts some other persons around you. It’s personal but not private. Thus, our title for this series is Your Integrity, Our World. It’s my integrity, our world. It’s my integrity, my family. It’s your integrity, your family.]

[Here’s our anchor verse that we looked at last time. Sit up straight to remind you that is how people with integrity live.]

Proverbs 11:3 (NASB 1995)

The integrity of the upright will guide them. But the crookedness of the treacherous will destroy them.

[People who maintain their integrity are guided by it, and it’s a primary decision-making filter for them. To keep it simple, here’s a memorable, portable definition:]

INTEGRITY

Doing what you ought to even if it costs you

[So, why don’t we just do what we ought to do? We expect everybody else to. Why is it so hard? That brings us back around to the topic of appetites. It’s difficult because of our appetites.]

Our appetites pose a constant threat to our integrity.

[Just about every day, we have to say no to one to protect or satisfy the other. We have to say no to an appetite to protect integrity, or no to integrity to satisfy an appetite. It’s a constant tension.]

[The term appetite brings to mind food and sex. But we have lots of appetites. Here’s a general list:]

APPETITES

Acceptance To be envied

Intimacy Stuff

Inclusion More stuff

Respect New stuff

Recognition Responsibility

Fame Achievement

Progress Winning

[Most of these are reasonable and acceptable. Each of these, however, poses a threat at some level to our integrity. Before we go there, here are three things about appetites. Theists believe:]

APPETITES

1. God created ’em. Sin distorted ’em.

[Everybody believes:]

2. Appetites are never fully and finally satisfied.

[Appetites have a one-word vocabulary.]

MORE

[It fuels our discontentment. We see folks with more and think, If I had that, accomplished that, accumulated that, or dated that... I’d be content. There are people in the world who would assume the same thing if they saw your life. Our appetites bait the comparison trap. One last thing...]

3. Appetites whisper “now.” Never “later.”

[Our appetites are not fans of...]

Delayed gratification

[They tempt us to opt for immediate over ultimate and now versus later. Again...]

Our appetites pose a constant threat to our integrity.

[Do you have an appetite for...]

Achievement

Advancement

[I do. I want to achieve, and I love progress. But your integrity could become an obstacle to achieving what you want to achieve as quickly as you want to achieve it. It could become an obstacle to advancing as quickly as you want to advance. Doing the right thing may slow things down. The most direct route sometimes isn’t the most ethical route. Then, you’ll have a decision to make.]

Will my integrity guide me? Will my appetite guide me?

[We don’t lie, deceive, cheat, or slander because we believe it’s good, honorable, or upright. We lie, cheat, or deceive because it’s a means to an end, and it helps us get what we want and satisfies an appetite.]

[A familiar Old Testament story illustrates this tension and provides us with a world picture and a warning of when an appetite threatens our integrity. It happened about 1800 BC. It’s a story of two brothers. The older brother was a hunter, warrior, and doer. The younger brother was a thinker, schemer, and really good cook.]

Esau and Jacob

[We usually hear their names stated as Jacob and Esau. They were Abraham’s grandsons. As

the older brother, Esau inherited a...]

Birthright

[There’s no modern equivalent of this. At this time, the first-born son received special privileges simply because he was born first. He received a double inheritance, judicial authority over family members, and the father’s blessing, ensuring God’s blessing. Here’s the story:]

Genesis 25:27

The boys grew up, and Esau became a skillful hunter, a man of the open country, while Jacob was content to stay at home among the tents.

Genesis 25:28

(Paraphrased by Andy Stanley) Their father, Isaac, who had a taste for wild game, loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob.

Genesis 25:29–30

29 Once when Jacob was cooking some stew, Esau came in from the open country, famished.

[This means literally that Esau was weary, faint, and “hangry.” His appetite is engaged, his defenses are down, and his senses are heightened by the aroma of the stew. Basically, he was a sitting duck.]

30 He said to Jacob, “Quick, let me have some of that red stew! I’m famished!”

[This dynamic rarely happens in the real world. Rarely will a younger, weaker brother have leverage over his older, stronger brother. Shrewd younger brothers bask in the opportunity and then look for a way to leverage it. “So, you don’t want Mom to know what time you came in? What’s that worth?” They will begin with what’s most valuable and work their way down.]

[So, Jacob sees and seizes an opportunity. He thinks, Go big or go home.]

Genesis 25:30–34

30 He said to Jacob, “Quick, let me have some of that red stew! I’m famished!”

31 Jacob replied, “First, sell me your birthright.”

[You want me to trade my birthright, seriously? Who would trade their future for a bowl of stew? Even a lifetime supply? Who would trade their integrity for a bowl of stew? Who would trade their influence, self-respect, respect of their children, and reputation for stew? Nobody and potentially, everybody. We’ve seen it and done it.]

Who would trade their marriage for...

One night

One Click

Who would trade their reputation with their kids for...

One more drink

Getting that business deal done

Who would trade their future...

For one "fun" night

For revenge

32 “Look, I am about to die,” Esau said.

[Die? He walked in. He’s building a case and creating a narrative. He’s justifying or “just-a-lying” to

himself.]

32 “What good is the birthright to me?”

[I want to add two words to the text.]

Genesis 25:32

(Paraphrased by Cody)

32 “Look, I am about to die,” Esau said. “What good is the birthright to me right now?”

[It was no good to Esau. At least not until their father died. But that comes later. The integrity of the upright will guide them. The upright see right. Upright people are focused on later because they remember later is longer. Esau was looking at right now. Now is now. And now... now is gone.]

Genesis 25:33–34

33 But Jacob said, “Swear to me first.” So he swore an oath to him, selling his birthright to Jacob.

34 Then Jacob gave Esau some bread and some lentil stew. He ate and drank, and then got up and left.

[The stew was gone along with his birthright. He traded his future for a bowl of stew. Who would do that? What would cause someone to do that? An appetite. The narrative ends like this:]

34 So Esau despised his birthright.

[He had decided: It’s not that important. I don’t care. That’s what we do. We decide we don’t care when it’s too late to care. We create a narrative that it wasn’t that big a loss, and then, we believe our narrative.]

[“What else could I have done? I was dying! I was going to lose my job.” “What else could I have done? That would have been the end of the relationship.” “What else could I have done? I didn’t have any choice.” Then, we believe the story we manufactured to justify what we’ve done. We hang on to our excuses and justifications. Very few people fully face up to that. Then, we’re never truly ourselves, we are never truly ourselves and we walk as with a limp.] and every once and a while someone tries to bring it up because everyone see's it and we shut them down.

You can’t be yourself as long as you’re lying to yourself.

[Nobody can know yourself if you’re lying to yourself. Worst of all, you can’t give your entire self to anyone as long as you’re lying to yourself.]

[Jacob’s deceit and Esau’s shortsightedness set in motion a chain of events that ripped the family apart for generations.]

Our appetites compete with our integrity.

[We will be forced to say no to one to satisfy or preserve the other. What’s equally concerning

is...]

Our appetites compete for our future.

[We rule them, or they rule us. We rule them, or they ruin us. We will all be tempted to trade our integrity for a bowl of stew. In the meantime, it doesn’t look like a bowl of stew. But years later, when you look back, you’ll see that what you got in exchange will be gone.]

[Years ago, when I taught high school students, I loved talking to them about their friends. Here’s what I would tell them: Your unhealthy relationships will last about two years. That’s all they can survive. Unhealthy relationships have a short shelf life. The problem is, when the relationship is over, what you’re left with is almost worthless and, in some cases, is embarrassing or shameful. What you give up (in an unhealthy relationship) will be irretrievable. It’s not unforgivable, but it’s irretrievable. We can’t un-hurt or un-disappoint someone, and we can’t undo the past. So...]

What’s your bowl of stew?

[What’s competing with your integrity now? What’s competing for your preferred future?

What or who is difficult to say no to right now that you know you ought to say no to?]

[What are you talking yourself into that people who love you would talk you out of if they knew? The whisper of the appetite is, “It’s not that big a deal; it doesn’t matter.” What are you doing that’s not exactly illegal or immoral, but you hope nobody finds out. It’s not illegal or immoral, but you wouldn’t want to have to explain it to anybody.]

[Here’s something you and Esau have in common. You have no idea what or who hangs in the balance of your decision of whether you choose to trade your future for something that’s here now but will be gone later.]

[Here’s the challenge. Decide to stand up straight and declare:]

I will not trade what I value most for something I have an appetite for now.

[Then, do what you ought to, even if it costs you. You’ll be glad you did. The people you love and who love you will be glad you did as well.]

What’s your bowl of stew?

[What’s your bowl of stew? Don’t trade your future, your legacy, and your future relationships

for a bowl of stew. Do what you know you ought to do.]

Prayer