F R I E N D S - A Good One Pt 2
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Teaching by Ben Stuart
Anyone remember what we talked about last week regarding friendships?
A True Friend is CONSTANT
Wealth attracts many friends,
but a poor person is separated from his friend.
Keller: “Most relationships are transactional”
A true friend doesn’t see you as a means to an end but values you for you
Mom owned a coffee shop in HS
Best mom ever: “Oh, y’all don’t have to pay! Y’all are like my kids”
FREE FRAPPES?
I had tons of friends the days we went to the coffee shop. Other days? I had a handful. “Where you goin’??”
Who cares about me? v. Who wants to use me?
True friends aren’t fair-weather friends. They are constant through the good and bad.
One with many friends may be harmed,
but there is a friend who stays closer than a brother.
Stuart: “You shatter, they scatter”
Stuart: “There’s one friend (they’re not very common)… when you shatter, they stick.”
Anybody ever been through a really rough time or had a friend go through a really rough time?
Did they scatter? Did you scatter?
Did they stick? Did you stick?
A friend loves at all times,
and a brother is born for a difficult time.
Stuart: “I’ll move in when others move out. It might take time, money, and energy, but I’m willing to pay the price for you.”
True friends are circumstantial or like a contract
“I’ll hang out with you as long as I don’t date or like x_______. I’ll be here for you as long as you don’t y__________. You can’t get in the way of z________. If this happens, friendship is automatically terminated. Peace out.”
Yes… we protect ourselves from unhealthy situations and don’t allow ourselves to be harmed or abused. But if situations and relationships get tough, a true friend is tougher.
A True Friend has CANDOR
Divergent series (movies). Who’s seen it?
“Thank you for your candor”
What? Speak English, my guy
It means honesty
Better an open reprimand
than concealed love.
The wounds of a friend are trustworthy,
but the kisses of an enemy are excessive.
Who in here worries about what your friend thinks about you? Don’t be too worried what they might think about you. Because get this- a true friend is more concerned about how that person is growing and thriving under God than being rejected.
A person who flatters his neighbor
spreads a net for his feet.
Only flattery and compliments? Setting you up for epic failure
Stuart: American Idol
Now, a friend isn’t unnecessarily rude and cruel. They don’t nitpick. But they are honest.
Adonijah: David’s son
Tried to overthrow his dad as the king and rule himself. Ends up getting murdered- squashed like a bug
But his father had never once infuriated him by asking, “Why did you do that?” In addition, he was quite handsome and was born after Absalom.
didn’t discipline him
Stuart: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory- want to be a gloop?
I don’t want to release a wildly misbehaved child upon the world. I am trying to save the world from what you might become.
One who rebukes a person will later find more favor
than one who flatters with his tongue.
Risk the awkward for your good. For their good.
Oil and incense bring joy to the heart,
and the sweetness of a friend is better than self-counsel.
IRON SHARPENS IRON
Surgeon
BSM Guys “Mighty Men” @ 6:30am
“You said you’d be there”
“Does your word mean that little to you?”
CONFIDANT
A contrary person spreads conflict,
and a gossip separates close friends.
Whoever conceals an offense promotes love,
but whoever gossips about it separates friends.
Someone to share your heart with, who won’t share it with anyone else
Someone who loves you that can know everything about you
Elle: “You can be honest with me”
All the lights on in the house
CLASS (Tact)
Let your foot be seldom in your neighbor’s house,
lest he have his fill of you and hate you.
Here comes Mason *groan*
We love Mason! But Mason lives here
If you always with them… you aren’t trusting God with their life or yours. Not codependency, but healthy.
If one blesses his neighbor
with a loud voice early in the morning,
it will be counted as a curse to him.
Gotta know when to be quiet
CARE
Weep with those who weep, celebrate with those who celebrate
Candor,
No one has greater love than this: to lay down his life for his friends.
All of this is available to us in Jesus
“ I don’t have friends like that. I don’t have any friends.”
You do. Jesus has stepped into the circle.
CANDID
Beautiful but broken
CONSTANT
He didn’t scatter. He humbled Himself to elevate you.
CARE
First friendship you need to get right is His