Pursuing the Lord

“We’re going to play a game called “Who Am I!” In this game, each person will write three facts about themselves on a piece of paper. Try to come up with facts that aren’t obvious or known by everyone else. Everyone will then hand their paper to the leader, who will take turns reading each one aloud, assigning a number to each. On another sheet of paper, each person will write down their guess as to who each set of facts belong to. After all sets of facts have been read, we’ll discuss and vote on who we believe each set of facts belongs to and that person will reveal themselves to the group!”

Rules

Ask everyone to sit together and distribute writing utensils and paper. Participants can sit or stand in a circle or sit in rows.

Each participant will write down on the paper three facts about themselves.

Participants can add their names if the leader doesn’t care to participate in guessing.

Facts should not be obvious or make it easy to guess.

After recording three facts, the players should hand their papers to the leader.

The leader should quickly mix the papers and begin reading, without announcing names.

At this point, players can either record their guesses on another sheet of paper or attempt guesses openly.

In order to keep the game going until all facts are read, do not reveal each participant until all are read, if possible.

Read each of the lists of facts to the group. If students are writing down their answers, assign each list of facts a number (1,2,3, etc) so the students can keep track of their guesses.

You may want to write down the number of each set of facts as you read them to keep them in order.

After all lists of facts are read, return to the first set of facts and discuss with the group asking them who they believe it is. Re-read the facts if needed.

After each set of facts is read, the group can openly guess, vote, or follow any other method to attempt to identify who the facts belong to.

The owner of the facts should reveal themselves one by one, following the review of their facts list.

Alternatively, facts can be reviewed, discussed, and the owner revealed altogether without recording answers by the group.

The game ends when all owners of the facts have been revealed.

This game can be played as many rounds as preferred or as time permits.

Adapted from: https://spirituallyhungry.com/who-am-i-game-instructions/

Found at: https://spirituallyhungry.com/no-prep-youth-group-games/

Pursuing the Lord

Good evening guys! We’re going to talk about two things this evening as we continue learning about relationships We’re going to ask the questions: “

1. Is Christ my greatest treasure”,

and,

2. “what if God wants me to be single?”

(repeat these)

Intro

So to get us started, I want to hear from you guys:

“How do you know if you’re ready to date?” (discuss)

Are you seeking first the Kingdom of God?

Read Matthew 6:25-34

Matthew 6:25–34 ESV

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Q: Am I willing to trust God to provide a mate for me?

Q: Am I willing to submit my dating choices to God?

Q: What are some of the choices you would have to make in dating?

Q: Would I let God tell me NO to a relationship?

Personal Illustration

I remember being close friends with a girl named Lauren. We spent a lot of time together and in groups. We were friends until the second semester of college where the quality of our faith collided. I was deeply committed to the idea of marriage, and she wasn’t. It was a pretty rough breakup since we were close friends, but shortly afterwards I met Catie. We ended up marrying 14 months later. God knew that I needed to say no to my relationship with Lauren because he was refining me to care for Catie.

Transition

Here’s another question for discussion...

“Does being single for a long time mean that as time goes by, it gets harder to find a future spouse?” (discuss)

What if God wants you to be single?

Read 1 Corinthians 7:7-8

1 Corinthians 7:7–8 ESV

I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am.

Being single is a gift!

(How can this be?)

Read 1 Corinthians 7:25-35

1 Corinthians 7:25–35 ESV

Now concerning the betrothed, I have no command from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that. This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away. I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

Here Paul lays out a case for singleness.

This was extremely counter-cultural for his day.

The Old Testament never portrays celibacy as a good thing.

The Jewish rabbis taught against celibacy.

The Romans even had a tax aimed at discouraging celibacy among Roman citizens.

And yet, Paul portrays being single as a good thing.

He wanted to spare them trouble in a difficult situation (1 Corinthians 7:26-28)

“this present distress” was probably an intense famine (something we don’t often, if ever, think about)

Historical acounts (Eusebius and Pliny)

Tax records show people defaulting on agricultural taxes (can’t pay their bills because they can’t grow crops!)

Well-known Judean famine prophesied by Agabus (Acts 11:28-30)

Records of “curator of grain supply” post filled 3 times in 40’s and 50’s

Records that the fear of famine could create riots and even revolutions

Q: Do you want to raise a family in that?

He wanted them to have correct priorities (7:29-31)

When we become believers, we have a new set of priorities. Worldly pursuits no longer hold the meaning and value that they once did.

You’ve heard someone in your life say “don’t get so wrapped up in all of these worldly things!” The identity markers (role distinction and status indicators) that were so important to the Corinthians, as well as human society in general, are meaningless in light of the gospel.

This is similar to what Jesus said in Luke 14:26

Luke 14:26 ESV

“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.

The issue is a relativizing of other relationships and priorities.

God wanted them to live with undistracted devotion for the Lord (7:32-35)

Paul is not warning against marriage, but against the specific pressures and distractions that are the “stock-in-trade of married people.” It is a concern about “freedom for mission” that drives Paul’s argument in these verses.

Practical Application and Encouragement

My wife Catie and I have known lots of Godly faithful people who have never married. We’ve also known lots of ungodly, faithless people who have never married. Not only that but we’ve known married couples who have been godly and faithful and married couples who have been godless and faithless.

Some of the encouragement I have in dealing with singleness, and hear me on this: God knows exactly what He is doing in your life. Whether you marry or not, He is calling you to Himself. If He does call you to singleness, you are not a second class citizen in the church or the kingdom of God. He may need your priorities to be set on Him for a strong ministry and relationship with God. He may be sparing you from trouble that He doesn’t want you to worry about (Matthew 6). Singleness is a good and holy thing just as marriage is. It may be lonely (or full of strong loving relationships), but God never leaves you alone in your singleness.

Single, or married, we should ask God to give us correct priorities in seeking first the kingdom of God (Matthew 6:33), and to practice living with an undistracted devotion for the Lord.

Let’s Pray:

Discussion Questions

Are you willing to submit your present and future dating decisions to the Lord?

What is one thing you could do as a single person that would be harder to do if you were married with kids?

Are you living out the Lord’s intention for this season of your life (“correct priorities”)?

Are you devoted to His word and His work in this season (“undistracted devotion”), or are you just living selfishly?