Sermon Tone Analysis
Overall tone of the sermon
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Review
Where we have been so far:
First Things First: We must first get our relationship with God right before we can get a relationship with the opposite sex right.
Singleness: Singleness is a season of life for every human being on the planet.
Singleness is not for distractions or ambitions, but a good gift from God to allow one to have an undivided devotion to the Lord.
Dating: Not a status to dwell on but a process to move through.
The purpose is to evaluate whether or not you are meant to marry a particular person.
Engagement
The purpose of engagement is union.
Ben Stewart says, “the brief season of engagement exists to allow a young couple to focus on the complexities of bringing their two lives together as one.
It is not simply a time to work on the wedding, but rather a time to work on the future marriage.”
Four Ways To Know That They Are The One
1.
You have a Strong Sense of Commitment
Do both of you have a commitment to one another to stay with one another even when conflict arises or things get hard?
Do you WANT to work through conflict?
Song of Solomon 8:6 says that love is as strong as death…when it takes hold of something, it is final, and never lets go.
-DO YOU HAVE THIS TYPE OF COMMITMENT?
NEVER LETTING GO WHEN THINGS GET TOUGH?
Ben Stewart says, “Evaluate long enough to see how the relationship survives when drama comes.”
Emotions can come and go and be fleeting…remember the 90/10 rule.
2.
You Have A Growing Skill of Communication
You must have the ability to communicate and to navigate relational conflict.
If you have never had to work through a disagreement in the dating process....that is a problem.
One of you is probably not being honest and stuffing how you really feel.
How do you handle disagreements?
Proverbs 12:18 “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”
Ben Stewart says, “If you can learn to communicate well with each other, you will navigate through a lot of issues quickly.
But if every disagreement dissolves into arguments and yelling, you need to pump the breaks.
Before you jump into “till death do us part,” make sure you pick up the skill of communication.”
3.
You Have Survived a Moment of Confession
Every rock needs to be uncovered before you propose or say “yes.”
There should be no major surprises about one’s past life before you get engaged.
If someone can’t share these things with you it demonstrates a lack of trust.
Proverbs 28:13 “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.”
4. Support of Your Community
Consult with your family, friends, and pastors…those who know you best and have seen you and the other person through the dating process.
If they give you the blessing, that should be encouraging and affirming of what you are feeling.
Proverbs 11:14 “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.”
Fostering Union in Three Key Areas
1. Family
You need to be around and connected with the person’s family and parents.
When you marry someone, you marry their family.
Guys, you need to get the blessing of the girls father before proposing.
Value and respect your in-laws.
This is obeying the command to honor your father and mother…just as you should your own parents.
2. Finances
Let the in-laws know that you can take care and provide for their daughter.
Create a budget!
For your in-laws and do it with your future spouse.
Dave Ramsey’s 7 Baby Steps.
3. Future
How will you do holidays?
Traditions?
Vacations?
How will we do ministry together?
How will we cultivate devotional life with Jesus together?
Career dreams/aspirations?
“Ask questions so you can minimize friction in the first years of marriage.”
-Ben Stewart
Marriage
The purpose of marriage is to display the glory of God in the relationship between Christ and His church.
Essentially, person’s marriage should be a picture of the gospel.
Marriage should be lived in the joyful service of God as we join ourselves with another to serve God better than we could alone.
Don’t make marriage an idol:
We do not need to marry someone simply to meet our own needs, for if we do, our marriage will just be a good-looking mask for selfishness.
“If we pursue any goal except the honor of God, then we are worshipping an idol.”
-Christopher Ash
Marriage Was Designed By God
Genesis 2:18-25
God is the one who created marriage, therefore, He is the one who defines what marriage is and what marriage is not.
“God designs a husband and a wife to complement one another.”
-Ben Stewart
Marriage Displays God
In marriage, the husband is to represent Jesus in the way he loves his wife.
The wife is to represent the church in how she respects and submits to her husband.
Just as Jesus loved the church and gave himself up for her, the husband is to do the same with his wife.
Just as the church lovingly submits and respects Christ, the wife is to do the same with her husband.
God has given the husband and wife these specific roles so that marriage will be a beautiful display of God’s redemptive relationship with His people in Christ!
Now let’s look at the text that makes this clear: Ephesians 5:22-33.
The Wive’s Role: Loving Submission and Respect
Ephesians 5:22-24 “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.
Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.”
From Genesis 2 and Ephesians 5:22-24 we see that the role of a wife is to be her husband’s helpmate…to lovingly submit and respect his God-given authority to be the leader of the family and the home.
This means that the wives role is to help support the husband in various ways so that he can fulfill his role as the leader, provider, and protecter of the home.
Elephant in the room: What does it mean for the wife to submit?
What it does not mean:
Subjugation: Forced submission
Servitude: Second-Class citizens only alive to serve the husband and do every request he asks.
Make sure to remember that both women and men are made in God’s image and equal in the sight of God.
Jesus fully submitted to the Father’s will, yet this did not remove his divinity, was was still equal with the Father being fully God.
“Exercising authority does not increase my status or value, any more than submitting to authority reduces my status or value.”
-Christopher Ash
What it does mean:
Submission as recognition
You recognize the God given order in which God has established marriage and the family.
You recognize that God has placed the burden of responsibility on the husband to lead, guide, and care for his wife and family.
Submission as response
You have an inclination to receive and affirm your husband’s leadership.
This does not mean you can never initiate or disagree with things he says, but you have a posture that affirms and respects his leadership.
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