The Nuclear Family

What makes a house a home? It is not the boards, and the shingles, and the windows and doors. It is not the furniture or the matching appliances. It is not the carpets, rugs, or wood flooring. It is not the dining room table no matter how large or small it may be. It is not the amount of floors that the house contains, not the number of bathrooms. A house is made into a home by the people that are inside of it. A house transforms into a home by the memories that are made. All the nights spent watching television together on those couches, all of the family dinner prepared and served out of the kitchen, fathers rolling around in the floor with your kids and giving them piggy back rides, taking care of them when they are sick. Watching them make arts and crafts, and teaching them how to throw a ball out in the front yard. House’s become home with memories made, and people become a family as they grow together. God’s word gives a few guidelines on what it takes to be a family. You may have a nice family, and you might have had a good up-bringing, but unless you follow what God’s word calls a family then you will be lacking. Today I want to look at a few instructions on what it takes to make a good family.

*Disclaimer: The Bible is packed cover to cover with material on how to be successful in having a family. We will barely scratch the surface today.*

What is a family? The definition of family is “a group of one or more parents and their children living together as a unit.”

Adam: God formed Adam from the dust of the ground, and God breathed the breath of life into Adam’s lifeless body. Adam became living, was given dominion over all living things on the earth. Adam was directed to subdue the earth. This means to control it. To cultivate the land and force the earth to produce what you want it to produce. Force the earth to bend to your will. Adam was in control. He was tasked with being a farmer. He was told to go out and work. At the time his work was blessed so whatever he did was perfect, but Adam was still given the command to work.

Eve: Eve was created from Adam, for Adam. She was not a piece of property. She was not like the other animals in the garden that came from the dust like Adam had. No, she was special. She was made from the bone of the man. She was a gift. A very welcomed gift. Do you know why God created Eve? Because Adam was alone. Adam was a hard worker. He named all of the living creatures, and he took care of them. But it could only go so far until poor Adam noticed that every other creature had a companion but him. In a world where you are the only creature of your kind, and you are at the top rivaled by no one, it can get pretty lonely. Adam needed a companion, he needed a partner, he need a friend. So God created Eve. He created Eve and He put her into Adam’s care to reign over all that lived on earth together. Not as a subordinate, but equal. They were created differently, but were one in the same.

Companion: A person with whom one spends a lot of time or with whom one travels. One of a pair intended to complement or match each other.

Eve completed Adam, and Adam completed Eve. Their relationship was this. They were one. One male, one female, one union. They ate together, they lived together, they slept together, they walked together and talked together, they explored together. They did life together just as God had intended it.

Genesis 2:24 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

It has happened since the beginning of time. The beginning of a family is when one man leave his mother and fathers home to create a home with his female companion who has also left her home. They come together as one, and they make their own home together. Then they continue making their home until the process replicates itself.

Genesis 1:28 “And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.””

Then they were to be fruitful and multiply. They were to make children, and continue making children until they had a sizeable family. They were to populate the earth.

God has not changed His mind. A man is to leave his mother and father, a woman is to leave here mother and father, and they are to come together as ONE. Then they are still to be fruitful and multiply. One of the reasons the Islamic religion is taking off is because they are reproducing at a high rate. They are being fruitful and multiplying. This is our calling as well. Man meets woman, woman falls for man, man prepares the way for a family, they leave and cleave, and they reproduce. Supposed to be in that order. Did you notice something about the creation of Adam and Eve? Neither one could fulfill the multiplying command without the other. Woman was created the way that she was in order to complete what man lacked in that arena, and God formed man in the way that He did because He knew that He would bring woman along one day and man was to complete her.

A family, by Biblical law, is one male, and one female. You can sympathise and make arguments about “love” when it comes to same sex marriages, but you know what? If they want a baby, guess where they get it? They absolutely have to go back to God’s perfect design between one man, and one woman. Biblical standards are still upright, and just.

A Good Husband, and a Good Father:

The first step to having a happy home is that the man is to be a good husband. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church, and gave Himself up for her. Husbands are not to be selfish, but sacrificial. Your wife was given to you so that you might protect her. If you have animals at your home, whether it be dogs or cats or cows or chickens, goats or fish, whatever it may be, I guarantee you that you take care of that animal. It does not have to find it’s own food. It probably has a bed somewhere, or some sort of a shelter it can get out of the elements if it desires. It probably has some water somewhere that it has access to. You keep it alive and mostly happy. Your wife needs that same care. She needs far more than an animal, but she needs to feel loved and she needs to be feed. She needs a roof over her head, and food on her table. She needs someone to take care of her needs. Someone to reach what is out of hers, someone to loosen tight jars, and lift objects that are too heavy for her. She needs someone to stand by her side on the rough days, and tell her that it is going to be okay. She needs someone to encourage her to do her best at all she does, because after all she is your other half and is a reflection of you. She needs a man.

Some of you guys have gone through the MD5 discipleship, and some are currently going through it, if you have been through it or are going through it will you stand for just a moment. Thank you guys. It is a good program. It seeks to teach men how to be real men, and to get back in touch with who God has called them to be. One of the big acronyms that the course uses is RALI.

R- Rejects Passivity

A- Accepts Responsibility

L- Leads courageously

I- Invests Eternally

R: A husband, a father must be active. When the children are out of line, not matter the age nor severity of their detour, a father must step in and guide them back to the right path. Sin means “to miss the mark.” Think of life as an arrow that is launched towards a target. You are aiming for the bullseye, but as you sin the arrow begins to waiver. As we correct our lives the path straightens up again, headed for the center of that target. You have helped your children launch their arrow, and as they fly through life they begin to get off course. Step in and guide them back to where they need to be going. It is never to late to help your kids.

A: A husband and a father must accept the responsibility of running his household. Listen guys, it is not up to your wife to rule the roost. It is your responsibility. Genesis 3:16 says “To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.”” You are the head of your house. Be the head, and do not get things backwards. When you make mistakes, own up to them. Fix what has been done, and take charge as a man. Do you know what it means when you are in charge? It means you have the power to change things. Do so.

L: Lead courageously. Be bold. Do not be afraid to put that foot down. Afraid of your kids? WHY!? What are they going to do? Glare you to death? Mumble under their breath? You are the father. You and their mother brought them to life. They owe their existence to you. Do not be afraid to lead them. It is your right, and your absolute privilege as a man to lead your wife and your kids. Be bold. Do it well.

I: And most of all invest eternally. Your kids can get mad at you for many things, but if you teach them the right ways they will have a good foundation to stand on when life comes crashing down. Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Your kids are ultimately in charge of their own decisions. Especially when they leave your house. If you want to see your children living their best life possible, if you love your children, then you better be investing in them eternally. Some day they will have arthritis. Some day their backs will ache so badly that they do more sitting than they do standing. Some day they may even be wheelchair bond, and at that point what did their sports or their extra curricular activities get them? No matter how broken down their bodies become, they will still have a soul. Invest in their eternity.

I have spent the most time on the father because he is the one who is the head of the house. He is the one charged with the security of the family. In God’s eyes, it falls back on him. The mom may be crazy, and she may all kinds of things, she may have grown up wild and people say “well you know how that momma is” but do you know what it always comes back to? Where is the dad? What is he doing? Why did he not lead them? Why has he not stepped up? Why does it look like his family is falling apart while he seemingly sits silent? Why does he seem so weak?..... It all comes back to the father. Family’s need men with strong backs supporting them.

Mom’s: Love your husbands. Do you know what one of the greatest forms of love is? Submission. Listen to this prophecy about Christ. Isaiah 53:7 “He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth.” Jesus loves us, and with out a word He submitted His life to God’s will and sacrificed that life so that you and I could have a chance at freedom. When your husband leads, do not get in his way. When he gives an order, do not undermine him. When he lays his law down, uphold it. So many time we see fathers trying to control their family, but the mother goes behind his back and unravels his leadership. Do you know what that does? That destroys your family. Sometimes little by little, sometimes by heaps, but it causes a power struggle, and a loss of identity for the father in the eyes of your little babies. Support your husband. If you do not like something, talk to him. But never go behind his back. That is the utmost disrespect as a mother, as a spouse, and as a daughter of God.

Let your husbands lead. Let them be the head. It is your duty and your calling to be complementary to your husband, not the control.

If you are having a hard time then pray for your husband. If you are having opposing views then talk to him. Seek the Lord’s guidance, and seek to understand each other.

Parents united. Teacher your children the word of God. Listen to God’s instructions here in Deuteronomy.

Deuteronomy 6:1-7 ““Now this is the commandment—the statutes and the rules—that the Lord your God commanded me to teach you, that you may do them in the land to which you are going over, to possess it, that you may fear the Lord your God, you and your son and your son’s son, by keeping all his statutes and his commandments, which I command you, all the days of your life, and that your days may be long. Hear therefore, O Israel, and be careful to do them, that it may go well with you, and that you may multiply greatly, as the Lord, the God of your fathers, has promised you, in a land flowing with milk and honey. “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”

Did you catch how important it is to teach your children the word of God? God said to teach them when they sit, teach them when they lay down, teach them when they rise, whenever and wherever you are you are to be teaching your children God’s word. Never miss an opportunity to combine life with His teachings. Notice the generations God shares as well. You, your son, and your son’s son. God never meant for your family to stray. He means for your teachings to sink in far enough that your children will follow Him, and your grandchildren will follow Him, and you grandchildren will teach your great grandchildren to follow Him, and 100 years later your family lineage would still be following Him.

But it is unlikely if you do not teach them His word while they are growing.

Children: I am about to use a phrase that you hate. OBEY YOUR PARENTS. If you want to live a Christian lifestyle you must first obey your parents. If you cannot obey your earthly parents, you will not obey your heavenly Father either. It is your earthly duty to obey your parents. So long as they are not asking you to go against God’s word, which they are to be teaching you themselves. No one said you had to like it, no one said you had to understand it, it simply said obey. What if Isaac would have rebelled against Abraham on mount Moriah? Isaac would not have been blessed and allowed to prosper as one of the Patriarchs of Israel. What if Jesus would have disobeyed His parents? He would not been able to present Himself as the blameless sacrifice for the entire human race. Obeying your parents is crucial. Unruly children cause a break down in the dynamics of a Nuclear family. If God commands the father to lead, the mother to support, the child to obey, but you break the chain with disobedience, then you are bringing down God’s design for what Godly family is to look like. You are called to support your parents as well.

It is hard enough to watch the world travel down the path that it is going. Do not make it more difficult by challenging them.

God is the one who instituted marriage. The union between one man, and one woman. Nothing altered in any way. Once bound together He called them to multiply to the best of their abilities, and after such they are to form a family who supports each other and in solidarity follow God’s word.

The world is seeking to destroy the nuclear family. If the devil can unravel the family, he can isolate people, and destroy their lives. Fathers, do not let Him have your marriage. Do not let Him have your children. Mothers, do not let Him drive a wedge between you and your husband. Children, do not give him power in your lives by rebelling against your family.