Be a Gossip Stopper

The first time I remember being gossiped about.

Speaking Critically about others Sabotages your Community

Why do we speak critically?

It feeds pride: and the sin nature in us loves to feel proud.

Deep down there is a need:

To significance

To be valuable

To be validated

To be justified

To be healed

In order to meet those needs, we put others down. We talk bad about them. We share our side of the story. We vent. We rant.

The effects of Critical Speech:

It is really easy to speak critically of others. This can be called gossip, slander, bad mouthing.

It destroys trust.

It promotes a culture of drama and suspicion.

If I came to _____ and started gossiping about another friend, ______ now knows that I am someone who gossips. So he now needs to be suspicious of me gossiping about him.

It hurts the reputation of others. It often gives a warped or distorted picture of a person.

It promotes pride.

James 4:11 ESV

Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge.

Key Point: Don’t speak evil against someone.

Speak Evil: Don’t say anything that would hurt cause someone else to think badly of them.

What kind of judging is this talking about?

heart of ill-will towards someone. Disgust, disdain, bitterness, having a grudge. And then talking about it. This is talking about where someone should stand spiritually, justified or condemned. And that is not our role, it is God’s.

It is not talking about making a judgement about whether something was right or wrong.

at he is saying here, is if we choose to gossip, critisize and have a judgmental attitude towards someone, we are neglecting the main law “love your neighbor.”

Our focus should be on personally obeying the law of God, not slandering someone else who we think has messed up.

There is a place, for correcting a friend who is sinning; but that type of correction must flow out of a heart of love for the person, rather than out of a heart of hatred.

James 4:12 ESV

There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?

Key Point: God Saves… In Jesus, those needs are met.

God is the ultimate judge of a person.

There is no place therefore, for us to speak in a condemning way about our brothers and sisters in Christ.

We can leave all revenge up to God. He will discipline those who need it.

He has the power to SAVE — Gospel

If anyone had a reason to gossip, it would be God.

Applications:

Watch Out! You will be most tempted to talk bad about someone, when they have just done something bad to you.

Make it a point to never say anything bad about someone behind their back.

…sharing a story about them.

…making a comment about them.

…sharing their faults with others.

“Can you believe Karen would...”

“I would never do what she did.”

“That’s just Karen.”

Don’t engage in gossip conversations.

“This isn’t appropriate for us to be talking about.”

“Let’s not talk about Karen like that.”

Purposefully speak well of people.

This will fuel a healthy community.

Clear it up.