Bamidbar Drash v2

Bamidbar in the desert

In this weeks Parashat we have the introduction of Bamidbar. It is the fifth word in this book of the Torah and means In the Desert. In all 3 sections of this weeks Parashat we have a setting of the Desert.

We begin the book of Bamidbar with Moshe Taking a census of Yisrael in the desert. Why the desert? Why not at the sea on the beach after freedom from captivity, why not at the foot of the mountain after the receiving of the Torah, why not at an oasis or on a road? The Desert is often described as a rugged place with little water, vegetation and shelter. I think that is why HaShem counted there. The desert is a place of brutal honesty. There is no sugar coating or excuses just like there is no water. There is no word games or obfuscating the truth just like there is no shelter. Everything is laid bare to see.

In Bamidbar Hashem does not just take a count of Yisrael, Yisrael takes an accounting of itself. It is the raw and unfiltered look at what Yisrael does even after experiencing what HaShem has done for them, and reveals their failings and short comings, that if we are honest, exist in us all. We often times read in this Bamidbar how Yisrael failed time and again to serve HaShem. We are reminded of the failure of the Kohanim to serve appropriately, Moshe’s failure with the rock, Benei Yisrael’s faithlessness even as they experience the continuing miracles of HaShem, and yet if we had been there we would have been worse. HaShem brought Yisrael to the desert to reveal to themselves who they truly are, even as they experience who he truly is.

For me the desert is often times emotional or spiritual. Even when I go to others for advice, comfort or help, I usually end up providing these things to them instead of receiving them. I have endured lasting loneliness, stark betrayals, and total abandonment. Some times it is as if every direction I look is only empty waste. Waste of time, energy, and effort as I watch those that I have invested so much in go away leaving me once again alone. In my desert there is no consideration of me only a total indifference. Yet it is in the desert that I find HaShem and in him I find the comfort and nourishment that I really need.

HaShem takes us in to the desert, because he loves us. He reveals to us truths about ourselves. While in the desert we disconnect from the things of this world that we may be able to connect with him. It is hard living in the desert and that is the point. It forces our reliance on a God that can seem so distant but is really right there with us. In the desert there is no distraction or deception. Danger is every where even the air you breath pulls the moisture from your body unless you breath correctly. Consider that even your breathing must be done correctly.

We all will go through the desert at some point because HaShem will lead us there. We can either go reluctantly kicking and screaming like spoiled children or we can gird our loins find our strength and embrace the journey for on the other side we will reach the promised land of HaShem’s good grace and then, when we arrive we will surely know his mercy and grace because we know, that promised land is not ours and we do not deserve it. Yet in his goodness he brings us there, he brings us home.