AUTHENTICTY

Me:

I have to say that it is good to be here with you guys. My name is Abdiel Valerio, I am married, been married for 2 years going on three in November and we have one baby critter who is 1 year old and 5 months. And I live in Highland. I work as the youth pastor at faith church highland and munster. I also go to a Men’s Bible study on Saturday mornings as well so my age range of friends starts at 11 and ends at 82. So I have to say I’m really glad to be here with you all being around my age range.

To start, I have two boxes of cereal with me, I got frosted flakes, and i got Frosted Flakes. I want you guys to tell me the difference between the two right now. GO!

Tiger/Panda

Kelloggs/Millville

Expensive/Cheaper

Now which one are you more likely to get, be honest.

The cheaper ones!

I mean they just appeal to me, I wanna save money, it has the same name, it tastes probably just as good or maybe even better.

The question is, is this one the actual authentic one?

NO

But we want it because we believe it’s more appealing.

Transition Statement

I wonder if we are willing to be less authentic to the people we love and who love us because we think that it will be more appealing to them

We live in a culture of filters and posting the best parts of our lives. We live in a culture dominated by the idea of being someone appealing rather than being someone authentic.

And the more we think we have to become appealing, the less we will get to experience community.

We might have friends, but we might not have an intimate community and the reason we might not have intimate community is because we haven’t learned how to be authentic.

Authenticity is the bridge between a friend and experiencing intimate community.

If we don’t learn how to be authentic with each other, our only friend will be loneliness.

You can be married, go to the biggest campus, go to the smallest campus, go to small groups, get plugged into a ministry, and still feel lonely. Why? Because you have not crossed the bridge of authenticity.

Will and Liz talked about the story of two dudes David and Jonathan from 1 Sam. 18. It says that their souls were knit to each other.

There’s another point in scripture where Jesus is praying the night before he is taken to be crucified and He’s praying for the body of believers, you and me.

He prays with droplets of blood as sweat: John 17:20-21

John 17:20–21 (ESV)

20 “I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, 21 that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me.

Oneness is not an idea for just marriage, it is the standard for the community of believers that we make up.

But we can hinder this, because of our willingness to be appealing rather than our call to be authentic.

I want to take your attention now to Colossians 3:5-9 Paul writes to a struggling body of believers and desires to encourage them by knowing Christ, and showing them how they should not behave as believers while encouraging them how they should behave. The text we are going to look at involves how believers should not behave and I’m going to show you how this is important when it comes to being authentic in relationships.

Colossians 3:5–9 (ESV)

5 Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. 6 On account of these the wrath of God is coming. 7 In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. 8 But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. 9 Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices

I want to really focus on verse 9 here. Do not lie to one another.

How many of you have ever been asked the question: How are you doing?

it seems like this has become more of a greeting than it has an actual desire to get to know someone’s state of being.

Ask: How are you?

Answer: Yup

Good enough!

But I want us to understand something, when someone who loves you, cares about you, and wants to see you become more like Jesus asks you, “how are you?” and you say good when you are really not doing good, you are being deceitful. You are lying to them. You are slipping into a pattern of a living outside of Christ.

If we want to be authentic, we need to be truthful.

Ask: How are you?

Answer: Not good, interest rates are high, gas prices are killing me, I went to school and got a job that pays too low and I’m paying so much student loans because no one told me about options when it came to college. Everything SUCKS!

Now that is authentic. That is striving for intimate community.

Now for those who asked the question and got all that, listen to me:

Don’t mistake authenticity with negativity (somebody opens up about how much their life sucks and you think they are being negative when in reality they are just being authentic.)

Your job is to show them grace, not judgment. We should celebrate when people are authentic instead of thinking less of them or thinking they are negative people.

I wish more people were willing to risk being negative for the sake of being authentic.

Sometimes, being appealing seems like a good move because you want to people to like you and to impress people. Nothing wrong about that. But if your goal is to be appealing and not experiencing authentic, intimate community, then you are striving for the wrong things.

Don’t be a millville panda bear, when you are supposed to be kelloggs tiger.

I’m gonna pray and we will have some discussions

Pray

Questions:

1. What do you think the difference is between being appealing and being authentic?

2. Do you think being authentic can be difficult or easy? Explain?

3. Do you agree or disagree with this statement: Authenticity is the bridge between a friend and experiencing intimate community. Explain?

4. Are there any experiences in your past that make it difficult to be authentic with people? Would you be willing to share or explain why that experience makes it difficult to be authentic?

5. Does being authentic only mean sharing your mess with people or can it mean sharing other parts of your life?

6. What are some steps you can take this week, month, and year to become more authentic with people around you?