Guiding Light Week 4- The Holy Spirit Shows us How To Love

In life, we often have to have to find ways to be agreeable with others even when we don't agree with (or even like) them. Sometimes that even means choosing to give up something we want for the benefit of others.

STORY | Talk about a time you struggled to love someone who hurt you.

It's easy getting along with people we agree with, but not so much with those we disagree with — or those who have hurt us.

Way back in 2009 I was a young youth pastor down in TN. That summer I took our students on a Mission Trip to the Bahamas that we went on with the entire Southeast Nazarene Region.

Now the guy in charge for coordinating on our district was Pastor Kevin Thomas. Kevin is about 5’7 with glasses and a moustache. I barely knew this guy at the time, but I got to know him really well on this trip...

Kevin was pretty strict about things on this trip, probably because he was concerned about our safety.

He had a curfew for all people- students and adults-to be back in their hotels at a certain time.

Kayla and I were engaged at the time, but she was still living in the big city of Sparta, TN and was there with her youth group kids from Sparta.

One night, she wanted to see me in the hotel lobby to say goodnight because she just couldn’t get enough of me. (Can’t blame her)

Problem is, when we were going back to our rooms it was a little past curfew.

On top of that, another one of my youth group kids Cody was also out a little past curfew.

I didn’t think a lot of it… until the next day when ole’ Kevin wanted to meet with me, my youth group AND my Senior Pastor Don and his wife Terena.

He lit into us like we done killed somebody.

I don’t get embarrassed much, but this dude embarrassed me big time in front of my youth group and Pastor.

I didn’t say much at the moment… because what I was thinking about this dude at the time was not good and I really wanted to punch him in the face.

I was furious.

I held it against him for a long time…until our ET Naz District Assembly, where God convicted me to go ask him for forgiveness for holding a grudge for so long against him.

I still thought that he handled things wrong and was out of control… but that wasn’t the point.

BC I was called to love him and I pretty much hated him… so God told me to get things right with him.

We all have stories about people who are hard to love, maybe because . . .

It can be difficult to show we care. We've been hurt by them. We don't agree with them. Or just because they annoy us. Whatever the reason, it's easy to get stuck holding onto feelings like irritation, anger, sadness, or bitterness. The problem is: God tells us to love people. But what do we do when it's really hard to love certain people?

SO WHAT? Why does it matter to God and to us?

VIDEO | A Clip from Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

Throughout this series, we've been watching clips from Star Wars about how Rey, a young Jedi, learns to use the force — a mysterious power that fills their universe and can be wielded for good or evil.

While Rey is committed to using the force for good, another Jedi named Kylo Ren has chosen the dark side. Even though they're enemies, and Kylo Ren has hurt Rey in unforgivable ways, she never stops believing he can choose a different path. Eventually, they confront each other in battle. Rey wins, fatally wounding him. But then . . .

As a teaching tool, play a short clip (1:16-2:14) from Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker,

After everything he did to try to destroy her, Rey used the force — the life inside her — to love her enemy. And while that imaginary "force" doesn't exist outside of Star Wars, there is something (or Someone) even more powerful who does.

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SCRIPTURE | Galatians 5:22–26

The past few weeks, we've been exploring some of the words of Jesus and the writings of Paul. Paul was an early follower of Jesus who spent a lot of his time investing in young churches around the world. The book of Galatians is a letter Paul wrote to the Galatian church filled with advice for how to process things like anger, hurt, and confusion.

See, the Galatians were having a tough time agreeing on how to follow Jesus. They pointed fingers at who they thought was right and who was wrong. In Galatia, there was plenty of bitterness and hurt to go around. But Paul wasn't going to stand for it. In his letter, he reminded them of the "force" that lived inside them — the Spirit of God. INSTRUCTIONS: Read Galatians 5:22–26. Paul reminded the Galatians God had already given them everything they needed to love each other.

They may not have been able to love people very well in their own strength, but through God's Spirit, they had the ability to live with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. Just like a healthy tree grows fruit, Paul said their love for each other would be evidence that the Holy Spirit was at work in their lives. Paul doesn't say we simply need to try harder to love each other. He says we need to stick close to the Holy Spirit, because we can't do any of these things in our own power.

SCRIPTURE | Matthew 5:14–16

Jesus said himself that the world would know his followers by their love for others. Just like God loves us, Jesus said we should love each other. It's this reflection of God's love I think Jesus was talking about when he said this . . .

INSTRUCTIONS:

Matthew 5:14–16 The Message

“Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.

When Jesus said "you are the light of the world," he meant the light within us is meant to be a light for others. When we make God's love and truth evident through our lives, others can better see who Jesus is.

SCRIPTURE | Romans 5:5

In another one of his letters, Paul told the church in Rome that God's love lives in us through the Holy Spirit.

Romans 5:5 NIV

And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

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Because the Holy Spirit fills us with God's love, Paul says we can have hope, even when people hurt us. This doesn't always mean we get our way or never get hurt. It just means . . .

We can place our hope in God, who always loves and never hurts or disappoints us. We have a well of love to draw from that is bigger than us — it's God's love flowing within us and through us, to others. This is good news, isn't it? I don't know about you, but I often feel like I'm running a little dry on love for other people. In my own strength, I'm not great at producing the "fruit" of the Holy Spirit.

And that's why I need the Holy Spirit. The same is true for you. On our own, we don't have the ability to love like Jesus. But with God's Spirit, we can. This is true for every follower of Jesus, but throughout the Bible, you can read stories of people miraculously receiving specific gifts through God's Spirit. With these gifts, they were able to shine the light of God's love, like people who were . . .

Able to perform miracles, heal diseases, or even raise others from the dead. Empowered by the Spirit to care for those who were poor, sick, dying, or in need. Given the gift of hospitality to welcome others with the love of Jesus. Maybe some of these things don't sound particularly miraculous at first glance, but if the Holy Spirit has ever helped you love someone who was difficult to love, or moved someone to love and care for you in a radical way, you've seen the miraculous work of the Holy Spirit. Jesus doesn't just tell us to love people — he knows we can't. That's why he sent us a Helper.

THE HOLY SPIRIT HELPS US LOVE

NOW WHAT? What does God want us to do about it?

4 STEPS TO FREEDOM

We sometimes explain our lack of love for others by saying things like, "Well, they're just unlikable!" or "It's all their fault." But Scripture never says the Holy Spirit would only help us love people who deserve it. It says God's Spirit helps us love. Period. But how?

ASK FOR HELP. Just like we can ask the Spirit to show us truth and give us wisdom, we can ask for help developing the "fruit" of the Spirit. That's exactly the kind of prayer God wants to answer with a yes! So ask!

GET HONEST. Sometimes it's hard to be honest about why it's hard for us to love, but remember, the Holy Spirit shows us the truth — not just about God, but about ourselves too. Ask why this is hard for you and listen humbly for the answer.

BE LOVED. We might have to let the Holy Spirit love and comfort us before we can figure out how to love others. Try journaling about your pain or sending a long text to yourself about what you're feeling. Then ask the Spirit to help you see how much you're loved.

PICK ONE PERSON. Loving others doesn't always mean a big, grand gesture. Sometimes love is not saying that thing you know will hurt someone. Sometimes love is saying "hi" in the hallway. Sometimes love is a small step away from anger. Pick one person you struggle to love and choose one thing you can do for them as a gesture of showing them God's love.

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*PLAY INSTRUMENTAL WORSHIP MUSIC DURING THIS TIME*

REFLECTION | Bitterness Dissolving

INSTRUCTIONS: Before your teaching time, print and cut the handouts provided in your Week 4 folder and set up a few stations around the room with large bowls filled with water. Give each student a handout and a washable marker. Instruct them to write the name of someone they struggle to love and why, then fold their card in half, walk to one of the water bowls, and submerge the card. As they hold the card underwater, ask them to pray for the Holy Spirit to help them love. The card should come out of the water with little to no markings on it. When we allow God's love to change us and fill our hearts, we find our anger and bitterness begin to dissolve. It doesn't mean we'll never again struggle to love others. But when we are struggling to love like Jesus loved, we have a Helper who has already made it possible. The Holy Spirit might seem mysterious or unknowable at first, but hopefully our conversations in the last few weeks have helped you see just how available God's Spirit is to you. The Holy Spirit isn't just an impersonal force that fills the universe. If you know Jesus, you know his Spirit is alive around us and within us, because the Holy Spirit . . .

Is a gift from God. Shows us the truth. Gives us wisdom. And helps us love.

*Prayer*