The Jesus Conversations | Who is My Neighbor?

Ever been in a high stakes, high emotion conversation with a friend, a colleague, or a neighbor? Of course! One such conversation for me happened on a snowy morning in New Jersey a few months into my first church placement out of seminary. A blizzard had come through that previous night and dumped several inches of snow on the ground, which meant before I could leave for the office, I needed to do the painstaking task of burying out my car from underneath the snow. After several shovel piles, I noticed that my neighbor was peering through his window at me. I knew my neighbor only as an acquaintance, but he and I got along well, so I smiled and waved. Unbeknownst to me, however, as I dug out my car, I was heaping the snow higher on his car next to mine. After a few more of my shovel tosses, he flung open his door and yelled out, “Hey Idiot, stop digging out the snow!” I looked at him totally bewildered. I remember shrugging my shoulders and wondering why he would make such a cruel comment. Before I could even respond, he ran outside with his snow shovel and began to shovel the snow from on top of his car onto mine. Still not realizing what started this whole confrontation, I asked him to please stop piling my car with snow and undoing the work I had just done. But rather than explaining himself or helping me understand what I was doing wrong, he said something that stayed with me to this very day. He said, “And you call yourself a Pastor." All of a sudden, I found myself in a high-stakes, high-emotion conversation at 7 o'clock in the morning over shoveling snow. My neighbor saw my behavior as something intentional and destructive, associated it with my faith and vocation, and then made a conclusion about me without ever engaging me in a single word of dialogue other than to call me an idiot. He made a brash judgment. And quite honestly, so did I. Even though I held my tongue in the moment, I thought about him in all kinds of negative ways throughout the rest of the day. Now, this situation did come to a good ending when later that night, I knocked on his door and entered into a difficult, but intentional, conversation toward understanding and forgiveness for both of us. I learned that his mother had just passed away, and he was working through his grieving process, which had inadvertently crashed into me. In talking through the issues, we prayed together and remained good neighbors until the day I moved. Some of my hardest moments have involved conversations with misunderstandings, confusion, and prejudgments about people or circumstances. These kinds of moments crash into our lives on a regular basis. Probably on the daily for most of us, and they include every arena of life - at work, with our families, in our relationships, in politics. And they also crash into our faith. In his book Crucial Conversations, [[show pic]] Joseph Grenny offers tools to engage these dialogues with health and effectiveness. I highly commend this book to you. It’s written from a business perspective, but it can help you engage crucial conversations in every part of your life. His premise states that for the conversations that matter most, we typically do our worst. He wrote, “We’re designed wrong. When conversations turn from routine to crucial, we’re often in trouble. That’s because emotions don’t exactly prepare us to converse effectively. Countless generations of genetic shaping have driven human beings to handle crucial conversations with flying fists and fleet feet, not intelligent persuasion and gentle attentiveness.” (Grenny, page 5) The long term affect of flying fists and fleet feet can be devastating and far-reaching on families, relationships, vocations, politics, and certainly matters of faith. Enagang crucial conversations matter. * How many families could still be together? * How many communities could still be thriving? * How many more people could know the saving grace of Jesus had it been for the courage of others to enter into life’s tough conversations? Yes, it’s hard, but our fearful neglect of doing hard things shouldn’t be the reason why our lives, our relationships, families, communities, and faith break under the weight of tension. Throughout his ministry, Jesus engaged the hard conversations, even the awkward and the tense! He encountered all kinds of controversies, which threatened his ministry at best, but at worst, posed violence against his life. Interestingly, though, Jesus never shy’ed away from these tough moments. But rather, he diffused them and leveraged these moments as opportunities for life-giving, grace altering truth-telling. And the question I want to help you answer today is, “How?” How did Jesus do this?

Today marks the beginning of a new series called "The Jesus Conversations.” Jesus modeled a different way of engagement to bring about restoration in the world, not division. He engaged the most difficult issues of our human condition, including prejudice, sexual trauma, affluence, and power so that we may experience healing restoration here and now through God’s salvation. Jesus’ crucial conversations offer all of us a way to invest our time into the difficult tensions of our life for the opportunity to invite those on the other side of the conversation into the community of faith where they may discover God’s grace and forgiveness. We call this invest and invite, and it’s our strategic approach to help our family, friends, and colleagues find and follow Jesus. As we prepare for Easter over the next few weeks, which is the most open opportunity for inviting others into church, may we learn together from Jesus how to get onto the restoration side of life’s prejudices so that we might see God’s Kingdom come in Miami as it is in heaven… together, as healed and restored men and women. The Gospel-writer, Luke, recorded this conversation between Jesus and a lawyer, beginning in chapter 10, verses 25-37. Let me share the conversation with you. An expert in religious law confronted Jesus with with a test question, asking: “What must I do to inherit eternal life?” As the conversation unfolded between them, it becomes clear that the lawyer is really asking something different. Has that ever happened to you? In my experience, most crucial conversations begin exactly like this one. The lawyer asked a question about one thing, but he really wanted to address something altogether different and trap Jesus in a semantic argument about the law. Classic passive aggression. If Jesus had taken the bait and answered the question at face value, then his answer certainly would have incited conflict and played into the lawyer’s intention to trap Jesus. But that’s not what happened. Rather, Jesus showed his own emotional intelligence by asking a clarifying and redirecting question in response. Jesus asked, 26 “What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?” 27 [The lawyer] answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” Jesus asked a question and gave the lawyer an opportunity to demonstrate his own understanding of the law, even acknowledging the lawyer, saying: 28 “You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.” I think for many of us when facing a crucial conversation - myself included - we speak, and then wait our turn to speak again, and then start shouting to make our point.

But Jesus went an entirely different direction. Instead of shouting, Jesus dignified the lawyer, even though the lawyer set out to test Jesus. That’s the kind of radical grace with which Jesus led his life first of all, and then entered into crucial conversations.

He always gave dignity to the person on the other side him, regardless of their motives.

And in doing so, Jesus dispelled the lawyer’s poor intention before it ever got a chance to escalate into conflict. Think about the last crucial conversation you had… what if you had extended dignity to that person first before that conversation ever started? Would the outcome have been different?

If we follow this way… if we listened first, and listen well, and then ask great questions, then undoubtedly, nearly all of our crucial conversations would resolve before they ever disintegrated into something that we would later regret. As you encounter life’s tensions, Do something crucial: engage the conversation. Listen first, then ask great questions. But this particular conversation didn’t end there. Luke recorded, But [the lawyer] wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “Who is my neighbor?” Well, obviously, the lawyer knew the law. He knew what to do. He knew what God expected of him: to love God and love his neighbor as himself, but here it becomes clear that the lawyer couldn't reconcile these commands with his own judgmental behavior, so he asked Jesus another trick question: Who is my neighbor? Once again, Jesus used his emotional intelligence to perceive a deeper underlying question from the lawyer. Jesus listened and listened well, and the true question Jesus perceived from the lawyer was: “Do I really need to love all of my neighbors?” And let’s be honest, was ask the same question, too. This question makes sense. And here the conversation turned from the theological to the Uber practical.

There are people in our lives who are really hard to love. Everybody's got that crazy bald neighbor who piles up snow on the car. We’ve all got those crazy family members and those annoying colleagues, but we also have something much deeper happening in our hearts… in the shadow places of which we rarely speak, but lay dormant until a confrontation raises them these thoughts to the surface of our mind:

I know God commands us to love God and love our neighbors as ourselves, but

* I can’t imagine showing love to those people. * I don’t know how I could ever love people who live there. * I’m not sure that I can love people who believe that. * It’s not possible to love people who look like that. * I can’t love someone who would say that… or do that… or think that… * I could never love a person who would marry that person. * I could never love that person after what they did to me. Over the centuries, many have villainized the lawyer for asking this question because of his attempt to justify his actions. And perhaps rightly so. But if you’re really honest with yourself, then this is probably a question you’ve asked, too: “Who is my neighbor?” The lawyer’s question is one that every Jesus follower must ask at some point. Is my neighbor simply those within my sphere of influence? Or is my neighbor any person that I might encounter? As I mentioned earlier, Jesus didn't back down from these kinds of questions, and his response to the lawyer brilliantly illustrates the power of a Story.

Had Jesus said, your neighbor is everyone, including those you are prejudice against, then no doubt, the lawyer would’ve laid it down against Jesus! You’re telling me I need to love those people???. That’s offensive! Prejudices run deep in the shadow valleys of our hearts. And so what does Jesus do... he reaches into those shadow valleys of our heart and meets us there with a story. Jesus said, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead." First problem: the man was traveling alone on a very dangerous path, and more than likely, very few people would have taken pity on him. Certainly the lawyer and the other hearers would thought: He got what he deserved. No one traveled that road alone. The Man would traveling on a 15 mile desert road between Jerusalem and Jericho known as the “Bloody Pass.” It descended more than 3000 vertical feet with switchbacks and cuts, which made it a playground for robbers to steal, kill, and destroy from pilgrims journeying to and from Jerusalem. Jewish travelers, however, still preferred the ‘Bloody Pass' over the more direct route between Jerusalem and Galilee because the direct route took them smack dab right through the middle of Samaria. [show pic] Jews and Samaritans despised each other. Up until the first century, they had been in a longstanding quarrel for more than 450 years. To this day since, more than 2000 years later, this tension is tragically reflected in the smoldering conflict between Israel and Palestine. At another time, Jesus even traveled the bloody pass himself in real life, not in a story, to visit with a Samaritan woman, which caused even further clash against Jesus. I am telling you this because Jesus lived what he taught. This is one of the reasons why we love Jesus. He lived the life, not just talked about it. But more about the Samaritan woman next week… Jesus continued 31 A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. 32 So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. For the lawyer, the priest and the Levite would have been viewed as teammates, and well within their rights in the Jewish law to pass by such a man. Furthermore, the road was so dangerous and the robbers so clever that they often masqueraded as wounded travelers in order to trap unsuspecting helpers. Leave the helpless man, the lawyer thought. 33 But a Samaritan, Jesus said. Ahh, the Samaritan, Jesus went there. For the lawyer, no one was more difficult to love than the despised Samaritan. The Samaritans can trace their family lineage to the 12 tribes of Israel. But several hundred years earlier, the Samaritans abandoned their family line for the safety and security of other warring tribes. Yet, they still wanted to claim God’s blessing as their own. Nothing could have been more offensive to an Israelite. Sellout the family but keep the goods. No one was more detested to one who sought to keep the law pure than someone who betrayed it. For a moment, put yourself in the lawyer’s shoes. Think about your Samaritan, and then imagine that person or group of people doing this: Jesus continued, But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. 34 He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. 35 The next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’ In the eyes of this lawyer, this vile Samaritan did what even he wouldn’t have done. He risked his own life to help a total stranger, to help his neighbor.

The Samaritan saw the broken and beaten man on the road and was moved with compassion for him. He inconvenienced himself by adjusting his travel schedule. He risked further danger from robbers to stay longer on the Bloody Pass. He used his own resources on a total stranger. He gave up his own comfort to place the wounded man on his donkey. He even opened an unlimited tab with an innkeeper until the man was healed from his wounds. And did these things without asking for anything in return. Think about your Samaritan. And imagine that person doing these things for you. Would you do these these things for your Samaritan? And so Jesus asked: 36 “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?” The Priest, the Levite, or the Samaritan? 37 The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.” Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.” With a simple story, Jesus revealed the lawyer’s deeply held prejudices against the Samaritans that had been keeping him from fully loving God and others. And with one simple story, the lawyer’s worldview was readjusted.

That’s why Jesus always engaged crucial conversations… for the hope that someone’s mind might be changed, and as a result, experience fully God’s mercy here and now. Do something crucial: Engage the conversation. Tell a Story. Why else would Jesus engage the pain points of our life other than to heal us from that which we cannot heal ourselves? Our sin, our prejudice.

Jesus’ ministry initiated a new kingdom ethic by which such values as: * respect for one another * responsibility to each other Each characterize the interactions we must make toward one another! In the parable Jesus shared, each person saw the broken man on the Bloody Pass with prejudiced eyes, except one: Lawyer – Object to discuss Robber – Target to exploit Religious – Problem to avoid Innkeeper – Customer for profit Samaritan – Person worth loving Jesus calls people like the Samaritan true neighbors in the Kingdom of God, who love others as they love themselves, despite: * those who disappoint us * those who are different from us * those with different histories… different backgrounds… different families * those from different races and ethnicities * and those who claim different sexualities Your Status doesn’t determine your neighbor, neither does your wealth, your intelligence, your degrees, or your understanding of faith.

Every human being deserves respect. Every person deserves being called a neighbor. Why? Because every human being bears the image of God on his or her heart. Every human being is a person God loves. Every human being is a person God created. And every human being is a person for whom Jesus died on the cross to save. You don’t get to say someone’s unworthy of your love just because they look, act, love, vote, or believe differently than you... because God did not say that to you.

God gave you dignity, even when you rejected him. And even after rejecting him, He still created space for you to make your way back to him.

God entered into the crucial mess of our existence in order to heal the prejudices of our sin and restore the common humanity that all of us share together in Christ’s name! If you pull back from the conversation between Jesus and the lawyer, then you’ll notice how the entire narrative is built in two mimic’ed sections, consisting of: Lawyer - Question Jesus - Question Lawyer - Answer Jesus - Validating the lawyer Jesus gave us a road map for engaging crucial conversations that can lead toward health and new life. Jesus kept asking questions. Jesus kept the conversation open. In so doing, Jesus shifted the outcome from what the lawyer had originally intended as a test... into a way for the lawyer to experience true eternal satisfaction... which ironically, was the first question the lawyer asked Jesus at the beginning of the narrative.

What must I do to inherit eternal life, the lawyer asked?

WOW! How astounding!

The narrative ends with Jesus telling the man to go and do likewise. Show mercy in Christ’s name, and then you’ll taste heaven on earth here and now. You will glimpse a life of eternal satisfaction with every act of mercy done in Jesus’ name. Had Jesus simply dismissed the question… or answered it head on… or rebuked the man for testing him in public, then the lawyer may not have ever arrived at that conclusion. So... Do something crucial. Engage the conversation. Keep it Open.

Our prejudices run deep. Some are family-oriented. Some are generational. Some are driven by the color of one’s skin or where that person was born. Other prejudices originate from what one believes or how one loves. Prejudices are hard. The lawyer posed the question, “Who is my neighbor?”, but the underlying question that Jesus poses to all of us is: “Are you a neighbor?” Are you a neighbor? But no matter how much our prejudices may differ between us, there is one common thread that unites them all: FEAR.

Fear is the foundation for every prejudice. Fear of the unfamiliar, fear of the unknown, fear of loss and insecurity.

But there’s a remedy to our fearful prejudice… and that is, we’ve got to get up close and personal. Once we get familiar to those who seem so different from us, then all of a sudden those strangers who threatened our way of life and security... have a name and a history and dreams and gifts... and before we know it, they’ve become familiar and they’ve become dignified…. they’ve become image bearers of God.

Some feel that same unfamiliarity about Jesus. Some fear the unknown about Jesus and his church, and they project those fears onto what believe in all kinds of ways... and that’s why we need to make Jesus and his transformational community called the church... familiar… and known in the city.

This space here at the 5pm... this church... must become the safest place in our city for our friends and family, for the broken and the hurting, for the lost, for the seeking, and for the doubting to all become familiar with the grace and truth of Jesus Christ... and it starts first with those who know Jesus showing mercy to those who don’t.

Our church is the inn - this is the healing place - where people can heal from their wounds and find new life for a new day. This is that place. We’re not here for ourselves. We’re not here just for this gathering. We’re here so that we can see healing and restoration happen in our city. We’re here for Jesus’ fame and glory in our city.

You may believe that some people deserve your cruelty, neglect or revenge. But what Jesus exposed in this conversation is our common broken humanity that he mercifully forgave and restored on the cross. We don’t choose prejudices, they often choose us… typically, because of something that happened to us or because we were born into a way of though, which means we can choose to say no more. Tonight, you can choose to say no more. Tonight, you can choose to say, I am giving my love to God, and I am giving my love to all people in the same way that I love myself because God extended his love for me on the cross. All of us can. With Christ in you, the hope of glory, you can choose tonight to bring others into the inn, here at the 5pm, for Jesus healing!

***God can’t do much with an empty seat.

And as you live with courage, not fear, seeing others through the same eyes that God sees you, then you’ve got all the tools you need to: Do something crucial. Engage the conversation. Invite others into Jesus’ story. Get in proximity. Make contact. Invest your time. Listen with intent. Ask good questions. Tell a story. Keep the conversation open. Invite them into Jesus’ story.

Engage the conversation. Share a drink, maybe a meal, and then while you’re listening, tell a story, show mercy, invite them into God’s story. You don’t have to force it, just let the moment happen.

***Maybe tell the Trenton story. Would you pray with me?