Fruit of the Spirit: GENTLENESS

I am not sure what all comes to your mind when you think about gentleness and being gentle. Maybe you think about gentleness as acting soft or lightly. On days when I get up early in the morning before anyone else—others in my house are still sleeping—I get ready to leave gently. This is what that means. I don’t stomp around the house on the hard floors. In fact, just the opposite; I take my steps gently. I don’t slam doors to rooms or kitchen cupboards. Just the opposite; I gently close doors. If someone else gets up I don’t yell out “good morning” at the top of my lungs. Rather, I gently whisper a good morning so that I do not wake anyone else up.

Today we are considering what gentleness looks like as a spiritual fruit. Here is what the apostle Paul has to say to the church in Philippi about it.

Philippians 2:12–18 NIV

12 Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, 13 for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. 14 Do everything without grumbling or arguing, 15 so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky 16 as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain. 17 But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. 18 So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.

Alright, at first glance you may be asking yourself what this particular passage has to do with the spiritual fruit of gentleness. After all, gentleness—or being gentle—is not mentioned by name anywhere in the words of this passage. But I think we can get there. Let’s work our way through what this passage is saying, and I think we arrive at a place of understanding gentleness as a spiritual fruit we bear.

passage begins with a “therefore” — we need to understand what comes before this in order to make sense of what is being said here

Let’s set up some context for these verses. The passage begins with a “therefore,” meaning we need to understand what comes before this in order to make sense of what is being said here. I’m going to save time by backing it up to the verse that actually begins this section of Philippians and sets the entire tone for the theme of these verses. It is the statement Paul makes at the beginning of chapter 1:27.

Philippians 1:27 NIV

27 Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in the one Spirit, striving together as one for the faith of the gospel

“Stand firm in the ONE Spirit, striving together as ONE for the faith…”

Conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel. What does the apostle Paul mean by that? He gives us a pretty strong hint here that unity has something to do with it. “Stand firm in the ONE Spirit, striving together as ONE for the faith…” We skipped over the first 11 verses of chapter 2. It is a passage which urges humility in relationships with one another and points to the humility of Christ as our example for this; again saying that this is for the purpose of maintaining ONE Spirit and ONE mind (Philippines 2:2).

vs 13 — Greek energās = activity which causes something to be

Bring it up to verses 12-13 where we began our reading for today. “Therefore…work out your salvation with fear and trembling.” This is a hard verse that is easy to misinterpret. The Bible is NOT telling us that our eternal salvation is something we have to work for. I think the Bible is pretty clear that we can never—by our own works—attain salvation by our own doing. What, then, is this working out all about? First, note that verse 13 also mentions work. But in verse 13 it is God who is working. And God is working in his people for two things: to will and to act. But this work that is mentioned twice in verses 12 and 13 are not the same word. These are two different words from the Greek. The work mentioned in verse 13 is the Greek word energās. It is where we get our English word energy. It means activity which causes something to be. It is not work in the sense of labor or a job. It simply refers to the kind of activity which causes something to happen. That’s what God’s work is in this passage. It is the activity of his Spirit in the lives of his people which causes something to happen.

vs 12 — Greek katergazomai = showing a result that is produced

The work mentioned in verse 12 is a different Greek word. It is the Greek word katergazomai which refers to showing a result that is produced. Think of it this way. When the math teacher gives an assignment with a complex math equation, often the teacher does not want you to simply write down the answer; the teacher wants to see something more. What does the math teacher say in the instructions? Show your work. That’s katergazomai. Let me see how you got this result. This work that God is doing in his people by the activity of his Holy Spirit to will and to act in his people—all things that are results of our salvation in Jesus—let that work show! All of this is an ongoing explanation of the statement Paul began with back in chapter 1:27. Conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel. Let God’s work of salvation in your life show for others to see.

Bible uses the word fear as a reference to awe, reverence, respect — (not terror)

show the work of God in my life by embracing an attitude of humility with one another out of reverence and respect for God

Next, let’s talk about “fear and trembling” for a moment. The word fear in the Bible often is not a reference to terror or worry. Many times in the Old Testament we see the Hebrew expression the people ought to live in the fear of the Lord, that we should be people who fear the Lord. That does not mean that we should be terrified of God. The Bible uses the word fear as a reference to awe and reverence and respect. It is an instruction from the Bible to live in a posture of humility in reverence to God. This makes perfect sense for Paul to mention here in this passage since the verses that open Philippians 2 are all about embracing an attitude of humility. The reason we embrace this attitude of humility is out of reverence and respect for the Lord. Is this starting to make more sense now? Show the work of God in his people by embracing and living out this attitude of humility with one another out of reverence and respect for God.

All of that is a set up for what’s next. Everything I’ve talked about so far has been about verses 12-13 which are the summary of everything going back to chapter 1:27. Now in verse 14 the passage moves to the heart of this teaching.

Philippians 2:14 NIV

14 Do everything without grumbling or arguing,

Do you want to know how it is that we work out our salvation with fear and trembling? Stop complaining and arguing. The word which is translated as complaining or grumbling is actually quite rare in the New Testament. However, its Hebrew equivalent shows up more often in the Old Testament, particularly in Exodus. Quite often in the wilderness narrative of Exodus we find the Israelites complaining and grumbling. That generation never made it out of the wilderness. The ones who lived in constant grumbling and complaining never made it to the promised land.

Paul takes this language from the Old Testament and brings it forward to address what is going on among the people in Philippi. And the Bible preserves those words to speak appropriately into our world today as well. It seems so easy in our world today to fall into grumbling and complaining and arguing. In fact, it is so easy in our world that it I find it happens automatically. Sometimes I start complaining without even realizing that I am complaining. Our world has made griping so second nature that sometimes I am not aware of my own grumbling. Let’s be honest for a moment; that’s all of us.

Hold up here for a moment. Because if at this point in my talking about a culture that grumbles and complains and argues, your first reaction is to think of somebody else, then you’re missing the point. Scripture is not a sledge hammer for us to swing at other people; scripture is a mirror for us to see our own reflection. This is not about other people’s complaining or arguing; it is about my own grumbling and my own complaining. Because here’s the thing, I am not responsible for your spiritual fruit, and you are not responsible for my spiritual fruit; we are each responsible for our own spiritual fruit. It begins with my own assessment of the ways I am allowing myself to embrace an attitude of grumbling and complaining and arguing.

how I do I get rid of the grumbling and complaining and arguing?

This leaves us with a tough question though. So, how I do I get rid of the grumbling and complaining and arguing? Sure, it’s easy for Paul to just write those words, but it does not seem quite so simple to actually carry it out. After all, we love complaining. It is the reason we have the saying that misery loves company. When I lived in Kalamazoo there was a few other men I would meet for breakfast regularly. When we first started out getting together, we would go to the same restaurant every time and we would sit at the same table every time. We quickly noticed that the next table over from us had always had the same group of elderly men every time we came in. Before long we also noticed that all they did was complain together. They complained about traffic; they complained about neighbors; they complained about politics. All these men did when they sat down for breakfast together was grumble and complain. After several months we noticed something else; they always just complained and grumbled about the same things over and over again. At first, we sort of chuckled about it and joked that someday that was going to be us when we got old. But eventually it sank in for each one of us and we had a serious conversation together about the tone and content of our own breakfast conversations. We didn’t want to become that. We didn’t want to be people who sank into endless circles of bitter anger and grumbling complaints. We took a look in the mirror and had to make a decision; that was not going to be us.

gentleness is the medicine for grumbling and complaining and arguing

gentleness alleviates forceful manipulative coercion

The question is still there. How do I get out of an attitude of grumbling and complaining and arguing? This is where the spiritual fruit of gentleness comes in. Let’s talk about gentleness. Gentleness is the medicine for grumbling and complaining. What do we mean by that? It means that, out of consideration for others, I hold back from using unnecessary force. Examples of unnecessary force show up in other places of our lives as well. Attempts to control or manipulate power, to take over and ram through my own personal agenda, these are examples of unnecessary force showing up in ways that is not considerate of others. This is what arguing is all about. Arguments are escalating uses of force meant to get my own way, to continually push as hard as I can in order for me to get other people to do what I want. And gentleness is the remedy. The answer to forceful manipulative coercion; the answer to bitter grumbling and complaining is gentleness.

gentleness does not change what we do, it changes the way we do it

Another feature of gentleness: gentleness does not change what actions I perform, it changes how my actions are performed. Let’s go back to the morning when I wake up and get out of the house before anyone else is up. The actions are all still there. I still get out of bed and walk around to different parts of the house; I still open and close doors to rooms; I still get breakfast from out of the kitchen cupboards. I still do all of the same actions—those do not change. But gentleness means I change the way I do those actions. So, in the spiritual fruit of gentleness I do not manipulatively force my agenda on others. But I still do have an agenda; I just go about it in a different way. In the spiritual fruit of gentleness I do not stoke arguments with others. But I still do have disagreements; I just go about addressing those disagreements in a different way. In the spiritual fruit of gentleness I do not grumble and complain when things do not go my way or things happen that I do not like. But I still have my own preferences of what I like and don’t like; I just go about expressing it in a different way. Do you see what I am saying? Gentleness does not change what we do, it changes the way we do it.

Is there a guiding principle we might see here that can help us be people who let go of complaining and arguing, and help us be better at bearing this spiritual fruit of gentleness? I think the apostle Paul gives us a nod in that direction here in Philippians. It is seen in his request from the outset all the way back in chapter 1:27

Philippians 1:27 NIV

27 Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in the one Spirit, striving together as one for the faith of the gospel

what sets Christians apart from all others is our love for one another resulting in a unity that is visible for the world to see

One of the overarching themes we see throughout most of Paul’s New Testament letters is the call for unity. The one thing that is supposed to set Christians apart from all others in the world is that our love for one another results in a unity that is remarkably visible for the world to see. Jesus says it this way in

John 13:34–35 NIV

34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

Paul says it more poetically in today’s passage from Philippians 2

Philippians 2:14–15 NIV

14 Do everything without grumbling or arguing, 15 so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky

love for one another, unity in Christ — these things show up not only in what our actions are, but in the way our actions take place

The world out there complains and grumbles and argues. But something about what we have been given by Christ causes us to stand out against that and shine brightly for others to see. Our love for one another, our unity in Christ; these things show up not only in what our actions are, but in the way our actions take place.

retreating to our cultural silos and forcing out anyone who does not conform to our tribal list of expectations leaves no room for gentleness

Let me tell you what I think is the biggest challenge we have together as a church in doing this well (I don’t mean just this congregation here, but the church everywhere). I think we often confuse unity for conformity. Unity and conformity are not the same thing. Some people may say that they want the church to be unified, but what they really want is conformity—to think, act, and look all in the exact same way. That does not require gentleness. Perhaps just the opposite; retreating to our cultural silos and forcing out anyone who does not conform to our tribal list of expectations leaves no room for gentleness. In 1 Corinthians 12 the church is described as a body which needs all the different parts to function properly.

1 Corinthians 12:17 NIV

17 If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be?

learn how to have differences without being divided figure out how to discuss different perspectives and preferences without arguing and complaining have diversity among us and still hold onto unity among us

Can we learn how to have differences without being divided? Can we figure out how to discuss different perspectives and preferences without arguing and complaining? Can we have diversity among us and still hold onto unity among us? With the spiritual fruit of gentleness the answer to all those questions is yes we can! Let’s be honest about the mission and calling of the church here in Grandville as our community around us is changing. The kinds of families moving into Grandville don’t care about our worship music; they don’t care about our preaching style; they don’t care about our programs. They don’t care about any of that because they are not looking for any of that. But what does the Bible say? What do they care about? What will they notice about us? Jesus says they will know you are my disciples if you love one another. Paul says you will shine among them like stars in the sky if you do everything without complaining or arguing. It is not what we do that sets us apart; it is the way we do it that sets us apart. That is what makes the gospel attractive to other people. Jesus makes it possible. Gentleness makes it happen.