Thank you

This date has been looming off in the distance on my calendar for a while now. I kind of always knew that at some point I’d preach a sermon in which I said “thank you and farewell.” It’s just the way of things. As the time grew closer, it seemed as though my ability to put thoughts, ideas, and words together grew more distant. Maybe it’s some kind of subconscious writers block stemming from the part of me that is deeply sad to turn the page on this chapter of my life. Thats probably part of it. But I think another part of it is that God had a different message than I would have come up with on my own.

Lacking any sense of direction, I decided I would turn to this handy thing that we Methodists have called the lectionary. It’s a schedule that actually gives us 4 passages to use in worship for each Sunday of the year. A psalm, and Old Testament passage, a New Testament passage, and a passage from one of the Gospels. It’s pretty neat and handy. And Jason and I don’t ever use it because we like to make this job hard ;)

But anyway, when I turned to the lectionary and I saw what was slated for preaching on this day, it was like the lights came on. This is what God wants me to say.

In Paul’s letter to the church of Rome he really lays out some of the most fundamental truths of our faith. One thing that he makes abundantly clear is that through all of history, in all of the dealings between humanity and God, people have been justified or saved or had their relationship with God made whole by means of one act — Faith. For Noah faith looked like building a boat. For Abraham faith looked like leaving his home to follow God, in hopes of having a child at age 100. For Moses it was marching into Pharaoh’s court and demanding that he let the Israelites go free, etc etc. And for us, it looks like admitting that Jesus Christ is Lord and placing our whole trust in his grace.

The result of this action is what the Scripture for today is concerned with, and it comes from Romans 5:1-2

“Therefore, since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have obtained access to this grace in which we stand; and we boast in our hope of sharing the glory of God.”

I think that the best way for me to say thank you is to boast in the ways that God has moved in the story of my life, and to show you how this church has magnified the hope that I have in both our current and future sharing in the glory of God, because stories… stories carry weight. Stories carry in them the truth of who we are. And as people who put our faith in the story of God, we put our hope in the truth of who God is. And it’s my job, it’s your job then to see the ways that our stories and God’s story are deeply interwoven. Where they intersect and how when we step back we can see the beautiful picture that God is painting with us and for us.

In 1991 I was in first grade. Early in the year, perhaps the first week of school I made friends with a young girl name Christina. By made friends, I mean we played at recess, beat each other up a little, and just generally had a good time. We remained friends until a few years later the school district opened a new elementary school and Christina was zoned for the new school.

In 1994 My family moved and I went to a different school. Somewhere in those in between years my family also had started attending and episcopal church. I met a friend at my new school, who invited me to come with his family to their United Methodist Church. When I walked in I met the jolliest, most loving and excited Pastor who gave the best hugs, Pastor Max. And with him was his daughter… My old pal Christina.

Long story short, that church became my spiritual home for the next several years and into my teens. I spent a lot of time with Pastor Max and his family, and he would continually tell me that I was called into ministry, that I was going to be a pastor. Every sunday I would walk out of church, and I would be hit with the savory smell of Burger King because the church shared a parking lot with one.

Eventually Pastor Max would give a sermon like this one, and when he moved away to another church, eventually I fell away and for 12 years or so. As many of you know, I fell into a lifestyle ruled by drugs and alcohol. But, one day I walked through the doors of a little Methodist church in Tampa. There I was greeted by a jolly, loving, and excited pastor who gave the best hugs. And when I walked outside of that church, I smelled it. The smell of love. Ok actually it was the smell of the Burger King across the street. But I guess if I had to tell you what Gods love smells like… it smells like Burger King to me.

I stayed at that little church, serving in all kinds of ministries, then on staff as the youth pastor. At annual conference 2017, I answered the call to Ordained Ministry. Shortly after that I found myself here, with you. And for the past 5 years you have been shaping me into the pastor that I am today. You’ve suffered through those early sermons. You supported me while I gained two higher education degrees. You taught me what the church community can be. You wholeheartedly embraced me, Lexi, and then Ezra. And for that, I give God all of the glory. Well not for your love of Lexi and Ezra really, because they are delightful. But your love of me is truly a gift from God ;)

All of you, through all of these churches, have shown me what it looks like to be at peace with God. When I was quite sure that God had had enough of me and my antics, the people of God showed up to show me that God is not a quitter. God’s love for me is unmoving. God and I are at peace, and I know this because you have shown me how to be at peace with myself long enough to hear and feel the message of Jesus Christ.

But that’s not the whole story. And the Apostle Paul knows that this isn’t the whole story. It’s not all rainbows and butterflies, this following Jesus thing. It’s definitely not all rainbows and butterflies in ministry… So this is what he says next

Romans 5:3-5 “And not only that, but we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us.”

It’s probably no coincidence that I chose to preach on this passage this week. I had no idea the amount of suffering that this past week would hold for my life. On thursday, I found out that my commissioning as an elder would be delayed, as a small minority of people blocked my entire commissioning class from the credentials that we earned, because two of us identify as queer.

That was not a reality any of us was prepared for. And it’s not a reality that ends any of our stories. We are all going on to serve our appointments. Nothing has really changed, other than we were publically humiliated. But such is the way that things are in our world and even in our church right now. God will prevail. Paul’s words give me strength. Suffering is not the end of the story, and it’s certainly not the end of or my colleague’s stories. Justice will come, justice takes time, and justice has no expiration date.

But listen, this day, this sermon isn’t about last weekend. Sure I suffered a bit over the past few days, But I’m here to talk to you about the suffering I’ve endured over the past five years here.

Dang you all look nervous. Good. Haha don’t worry, this isn’t an airing of grievances. It’s not a Festivus ;) yea I knew John Koch would laugh.

Ok so exhibit A) I’d been working here for just a few months. It was a Wednesday night, so I was running the Micronesian youth ministry and we were playing capture the flag outside. The enemy team had their flag hidden right up around the Main street entrance to this building. I decided I was going in. But i tried to be stealth about it. I climbed the sign underneath the giant metal cross, and planned to jump from the top on it, onto the concrete bench in front of it and then make my move.

I made my move, and the next thing i knew i woke up on the sidewalk of main street with a bunch of students gathered around me asking if I was ok. Yeah I missed the bench. I didn’t capture the flag. I did capture a mild concussion though. Thankfully Diana Crisler was there to nurse me back to life and make sure that I was ok to get home.

A few months after that, Leslie and I took a bunch of teens to the Keys for a mission trip to rebuild after Hurricane Irma. We stopped in Miami for dinner, and I decided to park our van away from the rest of the cars. We went and had a really nice time eating pizza together. The problem was, when we got back to the van… all of our stuff was gone. Yeah someone broke in and took our bags with computers, clothes, medicine, bibles. It was not a great time.

But here was the beautiful thing. The kids brushed it off very quickly. And when we got home, Pat Ross and maybe some others had raised money to replace everything that was lost.

One last one. Some time last year we had one of our campus clean ups. Remember this? Jason remembers. I was behind friendship hall cleaning up the landscaping with the Joseph family. I was using hedge trimmers… not wearing gloves. And well i trimmed a bit of my left hand.

Kaite Goodell took me to the hospital and sat with me while they cleaned my wounds and stitched my hand up. And she is like totally afraid of open wounds and the mess that she witnessed in that ER with me

This is just a small sample size, of the suffering I have endured here at first dunedin. And the common theme running through these and pretty much every other story I could tell is that I still make questionable decisions, and when the consequences of those decisions come on around to bite me, there you have been. Helping me heal, helping me recover, helping me find restoration.

That’s what church is all about. You, First Dunedin — and the churches that have come before you in my story have shown me what a spiritually vital, caring, nurturing community is. You’ve set the bar really really high. See in my suffering, you have helped God to cultivate all of this in me.

After what happened this weekend, The 16 of us were surrounded by a vast majority of our colleagues who love us. I’ve been shown more love and support in the past few days than I’ve felt in a long time at the denominational level. I’m being deeply reminded of the connection that we have as members of God’s kingdom.

Suffering has a purpose. The real heart wrenching suffering, and the silly suffering that I basically cause for myself. All of it in some way or another serves me and produces qualities that God can and will use. Paul says that suffering produces endurance.

Endurance, Let’s face it. I made it through 2 degree programs, a 5 year process of interviews, written and oral interviews, and anxiety to get commissioned as and elder, and closing in on 1 year of keeping a baby alive. I did not do that because I’ve got stunning will power. My life story is one in which will power does not shine brightly as a guiding light. But you have encouraged me, nurtured me, listened to my anxiety laden word vomit as I prepared for board of ordained ministry. Your presence in my suffering gave me the strength to go on.

Character, I’ve grown. I’m not the same person that walked in here 5 years ago. You showed me how to grow. The direction to go. You raised a pastor, and in that I have hope that this next chapter for both you and I will be one in which God’s love is magnified. I have hope that I will carry the lessons and the example that you have given to me into a new congregation in a new town. And I have hope that some of the strides that we have made here, as a community over the past 5 years will continue.

Our church, well it’s something amazing. We have 3 incredible worshipping communities. All are represented today, and all of you have given me a gift.

Traditional - you have connected me back to the church of my childhood. The hymns, creeds, anthems, liturgy, all remind me of that church that I met God in.

Modern - you remind me of that little church in Tampa that reignited my love for God through music. You’ve been a consistent reminder of the ways that God’s love was made real to me when I felt like I least deserved it.

And of course Micronesian - You have taught me immeasurably more about love, family, community, and God than any book, seminary course, or bible study could ever teach. I have witnessed through you the power of a community bound together by the Holy Spirit. When I read the book of Acts and the description of the Early Church as both a place of incredible generosity and equality… as well as kind of an organizational enigma (lets be honest… a hot mess) I see you all. I see the ways that you physically love each other. The ways that you sacrifice so that you can take care of the needs of others. It inspires me. It gives me hope for the church. And it gives me a big vision of the future to live into. I love you. You are my family, and I don’t know what life looks like not being with you each week.

All of you are our family. We have deep roots here. Lexi, Ezra, and I will always find a home here, and we will never forget the ways that you showed us how to love, how to live in community, and how to be the church. We are forever connected through the Holy Spirit, and I know that we will carry a piece of each other with us where ever we go.

I want to leave you with these words from Paul, which aptly describe the way that I feel. This is the opening of Pauls letter to the Philippians,

Philippians 1:1-11 “Paul and Timothy, servants of Christ Jesus, To all the saints in Christ Jesus who are in Philippi, with the bishops and deacons: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. I thank my God every time I remember you, constantly praying with joy in every one of my prayers for all of you, because of your sharing in the gospel from the first day until now. I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work among you will bring it to completion by the day of Jesus Christ. It is right for me to think this way about all of you, because you hold me in your heart, for all of you share in God’s grace with me, both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel. For God is my witness, how I long for all of you with the compassion of Christ Jesus. And this is my prayer, that your love may overflow more and more with knowledge and full insight to help you to determine what is best, so that in the day of Christ you may be pure and blameless, having produced the harvest of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ for the glory and praise of God”

I can think of no better way for me to close my time with you than to do something that I’ve waited 5 years to be allowed to do. Share in Christ’s family meal with you. The meal that he shared with his disciples, before he gave himself up on the cross so that people like us could come to know the way of truth and the way of love. A community that redeems and raises up a person like me to lead God’s people. Today we will do communion a little bit differently, so if you would, please follow along with the liturgy on the screen or beginning on page 9 of your hymnal, you’ll say the words in bold.

The Lord be with you...