How not to parent your child

Introduction:

How do you measure spiritual success? In the world, success is measured by achievements, but what kind of spiritual achievements should we have? One of them is raising a spiritual family up from the Father down to the little kid. You see, in the beginning God created the world and then he created the family. This order of creation should tell us what are supposed to be our priorities. First God and then the family and then the Church. We can not serve the church unless we have good families. If our families are messed up we cannot serve the Lord. Therefore, we should pay extra attention on how to parent our children. Because if we fail to raise them properly, we will destroy our ministry we will never be able to serve God publicly.

I. Irresponsibility - the most common mistake in America.

a) Characteristics:

1. lack of taking care of the profound needs of the child (like emotional or spiritual).

2. lack of building a relationship and to spend meaningful time with the child

3.They let others to take care of the profound needs of their children. School, friends, technology.

4. laid back attitude when it come to the problems that a kid faces and shifting of the responsibility of letting other to take care of the kids’ needs.

b) Causes:

1. Lack of patience

2. a belief that God will take care of the kids and they will raise themselves with little input or just a superficial one.

3. other priorities like work, career, name David with Absalom [Absalom killed his half-brother Amnon for raping his sister Tamar] (For Absalom political power was more important than his father because his father never took the time to become important for his son)

4. laziness Eli with his sons

c) Cure:

1. assuming the responsibility that God entrusted the kids to me so that I may take care of them with His help. We are the main agent that is supported by God

2. denying our wordly dreams and desires that stops us from spending meaningful time with our kids

3. God will hold us accountable for the way we trained our kids

4. Plan to spend time with your kids and take care of his emotional and spiritual needs

II. Favoritism

a) Characteristics:

1. always compare one kid with the other

2. you have a double standard when it comes to discipling and rewarding

b) Causes:

1. one kid just makes you happier by obeying more or by helping you more with stuff. And the natural response is to like him more than the others. But we should resist that. Isaac and Rebecca (Isaac preferred Esau just because he would catch and cook good game

2. Gender preference: sometimes we prefer more the only girl or the only boy that we have.

c) Cure:

1. understanding the consequence of (i) possible enmity between brothers (ii) of possible enmity between the parent and his child - Esau and Jacob

2. consider the love of God

3. love them as you wish to be loved by your parents

III. Tyrannical parenting

Characteristics:

-controlling every aspect of your child even at the age when you are not supposed to do that

-obsessed about how you kid affects your image and make every effort to keep the appearances (forcing him to be the best at school)

-forcing the kid to do what you could not do in your life. Living your life through your kid.

Causes:

-spiritual pride

-frustration about your life

-bad relationship with your spouse

Cure:

-humbleness

-accept your life the way it is and gives thank to God. If you want to change something, change in your life, not in your kid’s life

-fix the relationship with your spouse