Sermon Tone Analysis

Brad and Mickie’s Wedding | Jun 17, 2022

Prelude

Music:

Processional

Seating of the Families

Bridal Entrance

Bride walks in

Give away

Who gives this lady to be married to this man?

Father’s Response: “Her mother and I do.”

Bride hug dad, Groom, shake dad’s hand, turn and offer bride your arm.

Once in place, the maid of honor and bridesmaids will do the dress train and take bouquet, we’ll pause while this happens.

Welcome

Good afternoon.

My name is Becca, and I’m one of the pastors at Duluth Vineyard.

On behalf of Brad, Mickie and their families, welcome and thank you for coming, and for being a part of this very special day.

We are here today to honor God, and to rejoice in the special love that Brad and Mickie have found in each another.

Please join me in prayer as we ask God to bless our time together.

Opening Prayer

Heavenly Father, we are grateful for your wisdom, compassion, and goodness in giving us the blessing of marriage.

You have poured out your love on us, and you’ve given us other people to share that love with.

So here we are today with Brad, Mickie, and their family and friends.

I ask that you bless this day, and fill it with your love.

Bless this couple who stands before you today, strengthen them, and let them draw closer to you, and closer to each other, every single day of their lives.

We ask this in your Holy Name.

Amen.

Focus Them

Hi guys, how are you doing?

You made it, you’re finally here.

I want you to take a deep breath.

Seriously guys, take a deep breath.

Take a look around at everyone.

Now look back at each other.

Savor this moment and be present.

This is one of the most important days of your lives, and it goes by quickly.

Soak in each and every moment.

Charge to the Couple

Brad and Mickie are here before God, and all of us, to join their hearts and lives.

This is a public declaration of their love and devotion to one another.

Brad and Mickie, marriage is a great thing, and, it’s a big commitment.

Marriage is a covenant and is designed to be a blessing and benefit to us.

No one should make this commitment on a whim, but with seriousness, and in great Joy.

And I’m pretty sure that’s why you guys are here, but just to make sure, I’m going to ask you some questions.

At the end, if they sound like it’s something you’re up for, respond with “I Do”.

Sound good?

Alright, Brad , you go first:

Charge to Couple & Declaration of Intent

Brad , Do you take Mickie to be your wife and will you be faithful to her, love her, honor her, live with her and cherish her all the days of your life?

If so, respond with: I do.

Response: I do.

Mickie, Do you take Brad to be your husband and will you be faithful to him, love him, honor him, live with him, and cherish him all the days of your life?

If so, say: I do.

Response: I do.

Message

As you both have been preparing for today, and adjusting plans, and adjusting again, I’m sure you’ve gotten lots of advice on what you need to do to have a long and happy marriage.

Listen to everything everyone says.

Next to your relationship with God, your marriage is the most important thing in your life.

It will be amazing at times, and crazy difficult at others.

And if you stay the course, your marriage will help build you into the people God created you to be.

As a pastor and a married woman, I’ve boiled down some of the marriage advice I’ve heard and put it into four things that I’d like to share with you.

Number One: Stay Connected

We would like to think that the two of you could ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after.

But the truth is, there will be some hard times.

Right now, I want to challenge both of you to stay emotionally engaged with each other.

Don’t let go.

Fight for your marriage, and fight for each other.

The commitment you are making to each other here today is for the rest of your life.

There is no back door.

And that might sound scary, but it should also make you feel really safe.

The two of you can be one hundred percent open and honest with each other, truly transparent.

That’s what intimacy is.

“In-to-me-see”.

No walls, no barriers, no escape hatch, just each other.

In preparing for this ceremony, Brad and Mickie picked out these verses in Ephesians that sum this up well: “Always be humble and gentle.

Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.

Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace”.

These verses are like a step by step guide to stay connected.

Brad and Mickie, while you can’t control each other, you can control yourself.

Mickie, even if Brad is once again up late playing video games, you get to decide how patient you’re going to be with him and how gently you can remind him how late it actually is.

Brad, you get to decide whether or not you’re going to fight with Mickie about who gets to use the downstairs bathroom.

Mickie, you get to decide whether or not you’re going to be patient when Brad is still sleeping in late on the weekend and you’re ready to get the day started.

Brad, you can offer a kind response anytime Mickie stress cleans the kitchen.

No matter how the other person shows up, you get to decide whether or not you will stay connected.

You each have found someone who is committing to love you unconditionally.

Don’t ever lose that.

Stay emotionally engaged, stay connected to one another.

Number Two: Create a Safe Space for Each of You to Grow

Later on in Ephesians 4:15-16 reads, “Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.

He makes the whole body fit together perfectly.

As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.”

You guys get to choose the environment and the attitudes of your marriage.

You don’t get to choose all the things you will face, but you get to set the tone.

I challenge you both to create an environment where each of you can grow, a space that encourages emotional and spiritual nourishment and health.

Today, you are making a decision and commitment to love and protect one another fully and completely, to always believe the best about each other and to guard each other.

At the end of Ephesians 4, in verses 31 and 32, Paul writes “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.

Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

To create a safe place to grow requires more forgiveness than humanly possible, more kindness and grace than humanly possible.

Creating a safe place for each other to grow requires each of you taking hold of your own choices and actions, asking for forgiveness when it’s needed and forgiving each other whether they’ve asked for it or not, or rather you think they deserve it or not.

When you know you are safe, protected, and that someone really believes in you; that’s an easy environment in which to grow.

Provide that for each other.