Father's Day 2022

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I want to talk today about being a spiritual father.

1 Corinthians 4:2–5 NIV

Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful. I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God.

This is important for understanding this idea of being a spiritual father. Paul sets the groundwork here - he says, the role i’m asking you to follow,

we’re not talking about being judgmental

SIDEBAR - And this is a radical idea, ‘judge nothing’. Now, paul’s not saying, ‘let everything slide’. He teaches in 1 Corinthians 5 that there’s circumstances that require a judgment.

But he narrows the scope. In some scriptures, Paul says ‘if you disagree on things like, which days or holy or not, which food you can eat or not - keep those beliefs to yourself, and don’t condemn others’. But in other parts he says,

1 Corinthians 5:9–11 NIV

I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.

So he’s saying, if you have a person who claims to be a brother, but they do these things- don’t count those people in your association.

But he also specifically says, this doesn’t apply to people in the world - otherwise you’d have to just flat out leave earth.

So anyways - Talking about Paul’s understanding about when to do or say something and when not to is a big topic, and it’s copmlex, but suffice it to say - in this section, he’s speaking AGAINST being judgmental. He says, there’s a better way to do this then just deciding to cut people out.

1 Corinthians 4:6–7 NIV

Now, brothers and sisters, I have applied these things to myself and Apollos for your benefit, so that you may learn from us the meaning of the saying, “Do not go beyond what is written.” Then you will not be puffed up in being a follower of one of us over against the other. For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?

‘Do not go beyond what is written’ - otherwise you will be puffed up

What does that mean?

Have you ever met a person who prides themselves on how judgmental and strict they can be? How many rules they can put in place and follow? Basically - how much they can make other people do it the way they think is the right way or the only way?

It SOUNDS holy, but the problem is, Paul is saying, what is WRITTEN is to keep us close to Christ. Keep us humble. But with being judgmental, with being rule based and legalistic - it puffs US up instead. When we ADD to what the Bible teaches us, with stuff that we think is wise - It lifts US up in our own eyes - and that’s dangerous.

The pharisees did this.

But then he says - what do you have that you weren’t just freely given? Faith, salvation, eternal life - it’s all free, and none of it depends on what you did. So why do we act like reaffirming how good we are is the final goal? We say that it’s all by grace, and we act like it’s all by merit.

Paul says, being judgmental, it leads us to putting ourselves back on the throne. It causes us to say, ‘i’m a better believer than this other person’. And that’s not what is needed.

Paul and the Corinthian Church

Paul has this contrasting scenario right after these verses - the corinthians, and himself / the other apostles.

CORINTHIANS - Starting to prosper. They are experiencing riches. Wisdom. Strength. Honor.

PAUL - Suffering. Considered fools by many. They are hungry, poor clothes, no home. Treated brutally. Persecuted. He calls himself ‘The scum of the earth’.

If you asked me to pick out which ‘list’ seems like it was more blessed by God, which group sounded like it was doing God’s will - I’d pick the corinthians here. It’s obvious (EXAMPLES)

But then Paul says this:

1 Corinthians 4:14–16 NIV

I am writing this not to shame you but to warn you as my dear children. Even if you had ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel. Therefore I urge you to imitate me.

Paul is saying, ‘I see these things happening. And I’m warning you, this isn’t good’.

And Paul here, he sees the church going astray. He sees them puffing themselves up, building up their own kingdoms and their own thrones. He sees them facing the wrong way.

But he also wants to speak out against judgmentalism. Because he knows that

Being judgmental is our default way of dealing with things

There aren’t any problems if I just kick out all the people who I don’t like! And who don’t do things like I do.

To Paul, the solution isn’t taking the judgmental road

- for the Corinthian Church the solution is in finding more people he calls

Spiritual Fathers

And he says - there aren’t many people committing to this way of life. You have PLENTY of guardians. This word in the greek refers to a servant who was a child’s tutor or instructor. It’s their job to impart info.

Lots of people want that. Because it’s easy.

But paul says to them, what the church needs is ‘spiritual fathers’. People who are committed to, without judgment, walking alongside them and helping them put word to practice. Helping them to take what they’re taught and apply it to what they do.

The corinthians, they were setting themselves up for one kind of failure - the failure of prosperity. There’s plenty of other kinds of failures that seem holy at the beginning.

There’s three things I want to talk about with this idea of being a spiritual father.

Be there for people no matter what

If you want to see how much Paul lives this point, just read chapters 5 and 6. The Corinthian church had hit a REALLY hard time. They had cases of sexual immorality and TERRIBLE ones at that, believers were suing each other, you name it. There are many big, famous churches in the world that have been absolutely rocked by issues like these.

And Paul is just trying to walk them through it. Trying to help them understand how to get back on track.

He calls the church his ‘dear children’. Paul is loving the Corinthian church through a level of trouble that would cause most other people to flee. I’ve seen people leave a church over the floor color, or the length of service, or the type of seating, or a shift in musical style. Paul is sticking through a church that has dealt with really serious sinful behaviour.

Being a spiritual father is about being there for your family no matter what happens.

Second

Be a compass, not a GPS

This is a particularly important point. Because spiritual fathers are here to help people learn how to navigate.

I’ve noticed there’s two types of directions. TAKE THIS STREET / GO THIS FAR, and Hey you’re just looking for this big white building, when you see that you’re near, turn when you see this one kind of house, etc etc.

Using a compass means having to pay attention to a lot more things. Picking landmarks, gauging distance. You consult the compass randomly to ensure you’re still facing ultimately the same way - but after that, you’re navigating using your own skills and senses. You’re learning to recognize your surroundings, see the signs, and make your own way to the destination.

GPS is different. It lays out every single step, and you follow it, no matter what.

STORY - Teaching my son to ride a bike. Start by holding the bars, walking with him. Then running beside him, him checking in every step of the way. Then to some autonomy, him looking at me randomly. Then I’m just watching him ride all by himself.

The danger we face as spiritual fathers is this - we’re trying to teach people how to navigate. Not simply getting them to a place. Because we’re not determining where people wind up - we’re trying to give them the skills to be able to faithfully follow God to get where HE is steering them.

We’re trying to teach them how to balance, how to pedal, how to look both ways before you cross the street - and God is picking where they should go.

When we take away the practice of teaching navigation skills, we create spiritually shallow christians. People who only know how to deal with one kind of thing one kind of way. (AS A DAD, EASY WAY TO GET YOUR KIDS TO A SPECIFIC PLACE - STRAP THEM TO SOMETHING AND PULL THEM ALONG)

Some people when they approach this, there’s only one answer to any sort of question, and it’s their answer. But when God throws a monkey wrench in the mix - and He does that often - they implode.

This leads into the last point -

Help others find their way, not mirror yours

When you have children, the goal isn’t to have them follow you around ,step for step, for the rest of their lives. It’s to build them into the person God made them to be - and then send them out into the world to find their way. To follow where God is leading THEM.

And I’m sure that God took you amazing places, and He did incredible things. But God also wants to go to amazing places and do incredible things with them too. God has a wonderful plan for every single one of us - and we need to allow Him to be able to do that, even if it’s not what we would have done, or where He took us, or what we’re used to.

And as a person that’s done both spiritual fatherhood and bio fatherhood, I’ve learned something about both.

I find great joy in the times when my kids like the things I like - but let me tell you, I find greater joy in finding out the things my kids like themselves and helping them to develop THAT. We cripple the next generation of the church when we force them to do everything we did the way we did it - God has way bigger plans than that.

I’m called to be a pastor - but I find it extremely rewarding when I help someone step into THEIR calling in life, even if it’s not like mine. Seeing a new life, a new journey, a new person following God in amazing ways - it’s so rewarding and fulfilling.

I want to make two invites today:

Be a spiritual father

Paul lamented that there weren’t many people committing to this. It’s too easy to take the route of judgment - the way of puffing ourselves up and putting others out. Being a spiritual father is hard.

But it’s so necessary. If you aren’t mentoring someone, and you’re willing to walk along with someone, no judgment, full of compassion and grace, and help them learn to follow God’s will for THEIR lives - we invite you to do that.

Think / pray - who can I connect with?

Find a spiritual father

When he give our lives and our hearts to God - He becomes our father. And he’s the best father that we could ever possibly imagine. FORGIVING - GRACE-FILLED - MERCIFUL - POWERFUL.

But even then - He also sets us up with good people around us to support us. To see us through our problems.

If you don’t have a mentor in your life - find one. Someone you can trust. Someone who’s demonstrated the fruit of the spirit in their lives.