What do I know about being a Father?

Introduction:

While I have 13 kids now, I wanted to start today with two stories about this little girl ( show a picture of Julie.) So when this little girl was less than a year, Sabrinia and I only had one child at the time and we lived in Germany in a small two-bedroom military apartment. It was a cool little place with hardwood floors throughout. Now Julie was such a good baby. She gave the impression that this fatherhood thing would be easy. Now to be fair I was not always around due to deployments and going to the field so I may have had a much simpler view than Sabrinia. Now at this time Julie was barely walking and it was late one night and I thought I heard something in the kitchen. So we went to investigate and found our little angel sitting in the cabinet with a box of lucky charms dumped out on the floor eating all the marshmallows. She had claimed out of her crib like a little monkey and made her way to get a treat. Well, we knew right away that she would not be contained and would need to switch to a toddler bed. But I also realized how in over my head I was at this fatherhood thing.

Years later when we were living in Nevada, Julie and I were joking around and she said something silly I laughed and told her she was an idiot. Well later that day we were out and about and the kids wanted lunch so we went thru the Mcdonald's drive-thru. While I was trying to place the order, we had one of the worst order takers of all time. I mean she was bad. I would say what we wanted and she would say the wrong thing back. I was getting so frustrated. After about 15 min she finally had our order in and as I drove around to the window I said that I hate idiots. All of a sudden Julie bursts into tears. I look at her and say it's ok I'm sure they will get our food right. She tells me that that's not it. I’m like what is it then. She says “ You hate idiots” so I tell her that some people just annoy me. She burst into more tears and exclaims You hate me because I am an Idiot. It hit me like a ton of bricks how every word and every step we make is observed, how each and everything we do as parents affect every part of their being.

I knew I was out of my depth. I mean How could I ever know how to be a good father? See I never knew my father, and I only had a few stepfathers that were in and out of my life and who did very little of how to be a father. I thought I could be adequate but never truly be a good father. I mean I had a wonderful mother and she did her best to raise her two boys well. While she was a budiest, she allowed me to go on the bus to Baptist Church on Sundays. That bus to Calvery Baptist Church in Mesa was what started me on my faith journey and the Church is what put Godly men in my life to show me how to be a good father. Now while not all of the Godly men in my life helped me, over the years God has put some Fathers in the faith in my life that have taught me about being a father.

1 Corinthians 4:14–17 ESV

I do not write these things to make you ashamed, but to admonish you as my beloved children. For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel. I urge you, then, be imitators of me. That is why I sent you Timothy, my beloved and faithful child in the Lord, to remind you of my ways in Christ, as I teach them everywhere in every church.

I want to point a few things out in these verses. First this letter was written to admonish and correct the Church at Corinth. Paul was, as a father must do, correcting his Children. This Church was not doing to good. They were into all manor of thing. This church was in a very wicked city. The Church was full of aragance, the members sued each other, and they were not observing the Lords supper correctly. Its easy to see they were not doing well. The reports Paul must have been receiving about this Church would not have been easy to hear. Not everything we do as fathers are going to be fun. This is one of the hardest parts of being a parent. Between my day job and my ministry, I want every minute I spend with my children to be fun. And it would be so much easier just to make all my time with them all fun and games. But with 13 children, you can be assured that someone has done something everyday. My wife has to deal with it all day so I have to do my part. It would be easy to simply ignore the issues, But that would not be good for them. Correction is necessary and good for our Children. Corection helps them grow. It says in

Proverbs 22:15 ESV

Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.

Now there is also a balance to this, There has to be grace and love as well. We must teach and train them in good times not just when their is an issue. Paul says in

Ephesians 6:4 ESV

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Look at Paul’s tone in the verses. He shows them love in the midst of thier correction. We are to show our children love even when we are disciplining them. Sometimes this can be very difficult but it is absolutely nesscisary.

Next, he differentiates between guides and fathers. Some of your versions translate it as a tutor. Not everyone who teaches or guides us is a spiritual father. While I was at the annual meeting, I was able to attend some great teaching sessions. The pastor's conference alone had 12 wonderful, Biblicy sound preachers. I heard a lot of great teaching. And while I loved the experience, none of those men are invested in me. See teachers come and go. Many of them will have a profound impact on your life and many will not. But there is a marked difference between a teacher or a guide and a spiritual father. Every year as Children move up in grades and they get new teachers and their old ones get new classes. Some children have nannys that take care of them for large periods of time, but when that job is over the nanny moves on to the next job and the next child. A spiritual father goes much deeper than this. They are invested in the persons spiritual life even when they are not directly with or over that person. I have been blessed to have several spiritual fathers in my life that have invested in me and changed the course of my life. Jim Agular is one that comes imidiatly to mind. If it was not for Jim and someothers I would have had a much harder time with this journey. They invested so much in me and like Paul they showed me how to walk and they were invested in me even when I was not with them. I could still reach out to the ones that are still here on earth and they would drop everything to help. Anouther diffrence is in correction. With a guide, they can correct you but they don't have the same authority or standing as a parent. When one of my kids gets in trouble at school there is only so much that they can do, ultimately if they can not get a child to comply they call the parent. The parent has the ultimate say and authority over the Child.

Another thing is that we tend to resemble our parents. It was funny a few months ago Julie noticed that her son stood like me and ate like me. He had picked up many of my mannerisms, down to the way i use my finger to sort of lick my plate after a good meal. It made her giggle but it shows Pauls's point here. Paul is not telling them he is perfect. He is telling them to walk in the ways he has shown them by example. He expands on this later in the letter when he says

1 Corinthians 11:1 ESV

Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.

He is not claiming to be perfect or even the ultimate example. He is imitating Christ. He sent Timothy to them, His spiritual Child, to remind them by his example of how Paul walks and inturn how Christ walks.

I not only get to show my children Christ, but I also get the honor of guiding the students of this Church. So as I imitate Christ, I also get to help mold and teach them to walk as Christ walked.

As you saw earlier in the video, I had the privilege of taking the youth to camp. We to 26 students to camp and I thought I would share with you what the students learned. For the second year in a row, we did our own camp. We received the curriculum from Fuge the camp that we have been taking the students to for many years. While the Bible studies were laid out. I got the opportunity to write and share 4 sermons with the students that went along with the bible studies. The Theme of the camp was Matchless one and it had four parts. Each part of the Bible study connected old testament event to the ministry of Jesus and how He was the fulfilment of the passages. The sermons I did went deeper into the topic and emphasised the overall point of the lesson. The first part was Matchless sacrifice

Matchless Sacrifice

for this lesson, I chose the verses Romans 5:6-11

Romans 5:6–11 ESV

For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.

The point of this session was to show the students that God had a purpose in creation and that was for us to worship Him. But man sinned and broke that relationship. God being just, had to carry out the penalty for sin. The students were also shown that no mater what they did, they could not pay the penalty for this sin on their own. How God gave them the law, but the law further showed them the hopelessness in trying to save oneself. But in Gods perfect love for us He made a way for all to be saved. He did this while we were still sinners, while we still were unworthy of this sacrifice.

Matchless Forgiveness

The next section was Matcless Forgiveness.

I chose for this the verses of Matthew 28:1-8

Matthew 28:1–8 ESV

Now after the Sabbath, toward the dawn of the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to see the tomb. And behold, there was a great earthquake, for an angel of the Lord descended from heaven and came and rolled back the stone and sat on it. His appearance was like lightning, and his clothing white as snow. And for fear of him the guards trembled and became like dead men. But the angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you seek Jesus who was crucified. He is not here, for he has risen, as he said. Come, see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples that he has risen from the dead, and behold, he is going before you to Galilee; there you will see him. See, I have told you.” So they departed quickly from the tomb with fear and great joy, and ran to tell his disciples.

In this lesson the students were taught about the forgiveness that we receive thru Jesus’s Sacrifice. But to go further I wanted to show the students that Jesus provided true and perfect forgiveness. When the Isrilites would perform their sacrifices, the effects were only temporary. I would have loved to see the pure joy and these womens faces when they arrived at the tomb and found it empty. Only a few days earlier had they witnessed the most important person in their life, the one they had placed their hope in die. They were now faced with the grisly task of preparing Jesus’s body. They went to the tomb defeated but so found out that not only had Jesus paid the penalty for sin, but He also defeated death, His perfect sacrifice paid the price once and for all. Jesus defeated death and sin. We can have true hope because we serve the living God.

Matchless Obedience

1 Corinthians 10:1–13 ESV

For I do not want you to be unaware, brothers, that our fathers were all under the cloud, and all passed through the sea, and all were baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea, and all ate the same spiritual food, and all drank the same spiritual drink. For they drank from the spiritual Rock that followed them, and the Rock was Christ. Nevertheless, with most of them God was not pleased, for they were overthrown in the wilderness. Now these things took place as examples for us, that we might not desire evil as they did. Do not be idolaters as some of them were; as it is written, “The people sat down to eat and drink and rose up to play.” We must not indulge in sexual immorality as some of them did, and twenty-three thousand fell in a single day. We must not put Christ to the test, as some of them did and were destroyed by serpents, nor grumble, as some of them did and were destroyed by the Destroyer. Now these things happened to them as an example, but they were written down for our instruction, on whom the end of the ages has come. Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

The next section was designed to show the students that the sacrifice and the forgiveness should produce obidiance in us. The natural reaction to the salvation given to us should be obedience. In the passage Paul talks about how even though the jews were miraculously saved from the egyptians and crossed the sea on dry land, they imidiatly began to forget what was done for them and imidiatly began to sin. Paul tells us that all the examples of them failing is for us. While we are living in dark times and it seams like the world is turned upside down. there is no temptation that has not already been faced. there is no sin that is new. Gid will not allow us to be tempted by more than we can take. It is so easy for us to become discouraged by the world around us but we have the hope. Our l

Matchless Risk

The final day was matchless risk. This was showing the importance of taking risks for Jesus. The verses I chose for this were Romans 10:14-17

Romans 10:14–17 ESV

How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!” But they have not all obeyed the gospel. For Isaiah says, “Lord, who has believed what he has heard from us?” So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.

I had the privilege earlier this week to meet lots of young missionaries. These young men and women, some of them with small children and babies, were there to be sent out into the field. Some of them were going to places so dangerous that they had to stand behind a screen to hide their identity. Yet they were ready to risk it all to take the gospel to the ends of the earth. Dr Paul Chitwood the president of the international missions bord said”154,937 people die without hope in Christ every day around the world.” That is a stagering statistic. While there are verses that show that people who die without Christ have no excuse, these verses here show our responsibility. If we are truly in love with Jesus than there is no way we just accept this. We must proclame the Gosple to all. We don't save anyone. It is only the Holy Spirt who convicts and reveals the truth. But we still have a responsibility to share the Gosple. The students were challenged to be Bold in their witness and to bold in their faith and to be willing to face rejection and ridicule and maybe even physical harm to advance the gospel.

Closing

My hope is that the students were able to see these lessons lived out in the lives of the youth leaders and myself.

Not having a true earlty father has not be a henderance to me. God has provided wonderful examples through out my life that prepared me to be a father to those who He gave me. I