Godly Manhood: A Father’s Day Message [Genesis 1-3; Romans 5:12-21]

If you will turn with me to Genesis 1 we are going to look at Godly manhood from the bible today, we will also be looking at Romans 5. We live in a time with massive confusion and misperception—not only in our culture, but also in the church—regarding what it means to be a man. So I want to not only honor father’s today on this Father’s Day, but also challenge men in general.

This study has been challenging for me mainly because through it I’ve seen areas in my life that I need to improve and grow, and I pray this message will help and challenge men to take a long look at yourself and see where it is you need to improve and grow in the Lord as a godly man.

I want to speak clearly, even sternly at points, because I am convinced that this is a huge need in our culture and in the church and in families and future families represented all across the room.

I want to speak specifically to men today, but in a way that I hope will encourage women and will help you as women know how to pray for men—married women, to know how to pray for your husbands; children, to know how to pray for your dads; single women, to know what to look for in a man when it comes to marriage; and for you as women to know how God has designed you in a way that complements men for your good and for God’s glory.

God’s Design for Men… [Gen. 1:26-28]

Let’s start with God’s design for men, and really for women also, in Genesis 1:26–28. Follow along there with me as we hear the Word of God. Genesis 1:26–28,

And God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” (Genesis 1:26–28)

God created men and women with equal dignity

What do we learn here about God’s design for men and for women in the first chapter of the Bible? First and foremost, clearly God created men and women with equal dignity. In verse 26, God creates man and woman in His image, both of them with equal value before God and equal dignity before each other.

This is where any conversation about manhood must begin. From the start of the Bible, God in His Word speaks against any kind of male superiority or male dominance. In any culture, any relationship, where man is thought to be better than woman—in any culture, any relationship, where women are treated as inferior, as objects to be used or abused, then we undercut the very design of God.

For all of eternity, no sex (man or woman) will be greater than the other. No person should ever feel superior or inferior because they are a man or a woman. We all have equal dignity before God. Verse 28 says God blessed man and woman, not just with dignity, but with dominion over everything else in all creation—together. This is a truth that’s reiterated in Psalm 8:3–8, where we hear that God has crowned men and women with glory and honor, over and above everything else in all creation. God created men and women with great dignity, equal dignity.

God created men and women with different roles

At the same time, God created men and women with different roles. This is clear in the very next chapter of the Bible, Genesis 2. Genesis 2 contains a parallel account of the creation of man and woman, but this time with more specifics. I want you to read along there with me and listen to the distinct reasoning behind the creation of woman and the subsequent roles that are given to the man and the woman. Let’s start in verse 18 of chapter 2.

Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” Now out of the ground the LORD God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said,

“This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” (Genesis 2:18–23)

What a picture! Notice God doesn’t just immediately create woman after man in Genesis 2. Instead, God parades all these animals before man for him to name them. What’s the point of that? Well, it’s not just for man to name all these animals. It’s to show man that he is alone, that there is none like him. He’s looking at all these animals, considering what names match their natures, and in the process, he realizes, “None of these match my nature.” In this naming process of animals, man realizes his need for a helper like him.

So God performs the first surgical operation, and man goes to sleep, alone. While he’s sleeping, God takes one of his ribs. Now remember, man was formed from dust, and God obviously could have created woman in the same way. Instead, God takes a part from Adam’s side—not from his head, his hips, or his feet, but from his side where his heart is. This is a picture of how woman would be, in the deepest sense of the word, his partner, literally, as the text says, his helper. God intentionally forms, verse 18, a helper fit for man.

Now she stands, formed by God, like man and uniquely suited to serve alongside man. Then God touches the man, wakes him up, and says, “You have one more creature to name.” Adam opens his eyes, and needless to say, Adam is thrilled. The first words ever recorded of a human speaking, and it’s poetry, like song. “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” (Genesis 2:23) See the joy of the first man receiving the gift of the first woman. He goes nuts, singing, “Yes, she is from me, my very flesh. I identify with her, and I love her, and I call her woman, for she came out of man.”

Obviously, man and woman complement one another physically. They are created physically in a way that they can multiply together. We won’t go into a birds and bees explanation here.

This complementary relationship is being denied, disregarded, twisted today into all kinds of ideas and caricatures that are not the design of God, and ultimately, as a result, this complementary relationship between man and woman is being ignored, even by many in the church. Let me give you a heads up. The Bible is, from the beginning, taking us against the grain of political correctness in our day. If we will listen honestly to what the Bible is saying, we will see a beauty in the relationship between men and women that we are so missing in our culture today.

Here in Genesis 2, and then reflected all over the Bible. Man was created to be the head. Now, as soon as I use that word, I want to be clear in how I’m using it, how the Bible uses it. This term “head,” it’s referring to a leadership role. Again, this is not male domination. This is not greater dignity. That would go completely against God’s design. We’re talking here about role, and that’s a key distinction that’s familiar to all of us. I am a husband and father that’s my role, it doesn’t mean I’m more valuable than my wife it’s simply the role God has designated to me.

Man was created to lead his wife with love, and to provide for and protect his wife. And really not just his wife, but women generally. We know this!

We all know that when two guys and two ladies are walking down the street, and some attacker approaches the group, there’s something wrong if the two guys step back so the ladies will save them. Those are not men. By God’s design from the beginning, man is accountable for protection in every way.

Any husband who rolls over next to his wife in bed and says, “I heard a strange noise downstairs. Will you go check it out” That guy has issues. He’s not a man; he’s outside of the design of God. A leader provides and protects with love and feels the accountability for that kind of provision and protection.

Sin’s Distortion of Men [Gen. 3:1-7]

In our culture today we respond negatively to the idea of men being head in his role…and that is due to sin’s distortion of men. Starting in Genesis 3:1-7.

“Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the LORD God had made.

He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’? And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’ ” But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths.” (Genesis 3:1–7)

I want to show you here how sin specifically relates to and affects men and women in different ways. Sin certainly affects all of us in the sense that sin separates us from God, that sin is rebellion against God, but I want you to see specifically how sin plays out in man here in Genesis 3. I want to show you a passive effect and an aggressive effect of sin on men’s lives, and I want us to think about ways we see this—and men, ways we reflect this—all across this room.

Passive: Sin leads men to relinquish their responsibilities

First, passive: Sin leads men to relinquish their responsibilities. This is the essence of what Adam did in verses 1 through 5. You say, “Well, Adam didn’t do anything in verses 1 through 5.” Exactly. Notice how the serpent, in the very way that he tempted this couple, subverted the design of God in man and woman. He came not to the man, but to the woman. From the very beginning, he undercut the headship of man, saying, “Eve, you lead the way here.” Adam, from all we can tell, was standing right by her, while Eve led out.

You see how important this is when you get down to Genesis 3:17, and God says to Adam, “[Adam,] because you have listened to the voice of your wife …” (Genesis 3:17) Notice this. Adam was reprimanded, disciplined by God, yes, for eating the fruit, but even before that, for listening instead of leading. For ignoring the command that, if you’ll remember, he was given in Genesis 2:17. If you look back in Genesis 2, you realize that God gave Adam the command not to eat the fruit before Eve was even formed.

Here in Genesis 3, he is completely forsaking, relinquishing, abandoning his responsibility before God to lead his wife and to obey God. He should have stood up and said, “Serpent, you have no business questioning my wife about the commands God has given. Those commands came directly to me, and it’s my responsibility to be faithful for carrying them out. You can talk to me.” Instead, he sits silently by, like a wimp, and does absolutely nothing. That’s one distortion of manhood here—man sitting back and relinquishing his responsibility to lead.

Aggressive: Sin leads men to abuse their authority

The other distortion of man in Genesis 3 that we see here is aggressive: Sin leads men to abuse their authority.

Look down in verse 16, where after sin enters the world, God says to Eve: “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16) Now this is part of the curse of sin and its effect on woman, but I want you to notice how it relates to man.

The word for “rule” there is not to lead in a good way, but to assert authority by power or strength or force, oftentimes used in the Old Testament, even in an oppressive way. The whole picture is that Adam, in his distorted manhood, would rule or lead with a harshness and forcefulness that is not the design of God.

This is where you go to the other side of the spectrum in man’s sinfulness. Here, man is not relinquishing his responsibility to lead but is abusing his authority as a leader. Man rises up and says, “Okay, I’m not going to be a wimp in this relationship; I’m going to dominate this relationship.” This is why I was careful earlier to say, “Headship is not the same as domination.” Headship in Genesis 2 was good, but in Genesis 3, as a result of sin, headship becomes domination and force, a selfish abuse of authority. Men seeking to control women and abuse their position of leadership in their relationship.

Think about it. We see both of these pictures today in men. And men, we reflect both of these sinful distortions of God’s design. I want to give you examples of some very practical pictures of how sin distorts manhood.

First, there’s the guy who won’t grow up. This guy lives in perpetual adolescence. He’s in his 20s, 30s, even maybe 40s, who lacks direction and vision. His life revolves around what he wants to do and he’s still trying to figure out who he is. Sure he’s a nice guy who’s probably looking for a mentor because he refuses to be one himself to somebody else. He won’t grow up and take real responsibility.

Then there’s the one guy who is absent from reality. He’s has a wife, and kids, and bills to pay. He takes responsibility for putting food on the table, but that’s where the responsibility stops. He sits around the table with his wife and kids and is present physically but emotionally distant from them. He never asks his wife how she feels and he has no clue what’s going on in his kids life. He’s the dad who’s there but not really.

Then there’s the too cool guy. He’s funny, entertaining, always has a good joke, a good quip to get people laughing. He’s the life of the party. The only problem is that everybody likes him, but nobody respects him. He wants so much to be liked by his kids that he refuses to discipline his kids. He wants so much to be liked by the people around him that he’ll never confront serious issues going around him. He wants to be what everybody around him wants him to be, so he refuses to stand up for what’s right and good, particularly when it costs him. There comes a point when even his cool antics get pretty annoying to his wife and his kids. She wants a real husband. They want a real dad who they can respect, not just laugh at.

Then there’s the blame it on everybody else guy. the guy who has all kinds of reasons why he’s not the man God has designed him to be. This or that happened to him when he was young. This or that is happening to him right now. He didn’t have a father to show him what manhood looks like. Have you ever noticed here that as soon as Adam was confronted by God for his lack of leadership in Eve’s life, the first thing he did was blame Eve? Verse 12, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” (Genesis 3:12) Notice that Adam’s blaming doesn’t just stop with Eve; Adam blames God. “You’re the One who gave her to me, so technically, God, you did this. You made me this way. You gave me these circumstances.”

There’s also the tough guy. This is the guy who thinks that to be a man is to do the opposite of what women do. Women hug and kiss their kids, so this guy doesn’t hug and kiss his kids. Women say, “I love you,” so this guy never says, “I love you.” This guy’s tough. He thinks he doesn’t show emotions when the reality is the only emotions his wife and kids see communicate that he is distant from them and domineering over them. He barks orders at them. Or maybe he even abuses them—emotionally, verbally, physically. What kind of coward of a man asserts his manhood by abusing women and children?

There are many other examples I could point out but you get the point. So let’s look at Christ and manhood and what...

Christlike devotion in men

Looks like...

Right in the middle of this chapter where manhood is marred by sin in Genesis 3, God promises to send a man from the line of woman who would crush the Adversary in this world. Genesis 3:15, “I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring; he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel.” (Genesis 3:15) This is a promise that God will send His Son, born of woman, to defeat sin and Satan, to conquer the effects of sin, and to redeem and restore everyone who trusts in Him.

Right after the sin of the first man in the world, we have a promise that another man is coming, and the good news of the gospel is that man has come. His name is Jesus, and Jesus perfectly models true manhood. He is the man that we are all supposed to be like. Not only does He perfectly model true manhood, but He mercifully saves us from our sin and from ourselves.

He dies on the cross to pay the price for our sins as men against God, for all our relinquishing of responsibility and all our abuse of authority, for all our rebellion against God and all our tendencies to assert ourselves before God. Jesus mercifully saves us from our sin and ourselves. Then, when we confess our need for Him—for His grace and His mercy—when we turn from our sin and ourselves to trust in Him as our Savior and our Lord, Jesus personally makes us into the men God created us to be. This is where the cross comes in.

Turn to Romans 5:12-21

“Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned—for sin indeed was in the world before the law was given, but sin is not counted where there is no law. Yet death reigned from Adam to Moses, even over those whose sinning was not like the transgression of Adam, who was a type of the one who was to come.

But the free gift is not like the trespass. For if many died through one man’s trespass, much more have the grace of God and the free gift by the grace of that one man Jesus Christ abounded for many. And the free gift is not like the result of that one man’s sin. For the judgment following one trespass brought condemnation, but the free gift following many trespasses brought justification. For if, because of one man’s trespass, death reigned through that one man, much more will those who receive the abundance of grace and the free gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man Jesus Christ.

Therefore, as one trespass led to condemnation for all men, so one act of righteousness leads to justification and life for all men. For as by the one man’s disobedience the many were made sinners, so by the one man’s obedience the many will be made righteous. Now the law came in to increase the trespass, but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more, so that, as sin reigned in death, grace also might reign through righteousness leading to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 5:12–21)

See it! One man’s sin—Adam’s sin brought condemnation to all men. All men in this room have sinned and have propensities to sin in all of these varied ways. But see it! Another man has come—Christ—and He is the perfect man who perfectly obeyed God as a man, even to the point of dying on a cross. Through His death for our sins, we can be made righteous before God.

Don’t miss the point then, men. There has been only one man in all of history who is really a man as God has designed him to be, so the only way for you to be a man is to be found in Him. That is only possible by trusting in what Jesus has done for you. You cannot become a man apart from the cross. It is only in, by, through, and from the cross that you will ever be a man. When you humble yourself, when you throw aside your boyish pride, and you admit your need for God’s mercy to make you a man in Christ, then He will.

Think about how the cross of Christ compels you to manhood. This is where I want to give some practical exhortations as you’re thinking, “Where do I begin? How do I move forward in becoming the man God created me to be? How do I take next steps?” I want to give you some practical, pastoral exhortations, acknowledging, brothers, that there is no easy answer here. We don’t become the men God has created us to be overnight. This is a lifelong journey, so where do you begin?

Begin at the cross, and see that the cross compels us to initiate humble, hard-working leadership in our lives. This is what the cross is all about. The cross is where Jesus, as a man, took responsibility for all men (and women). He humbly came to serve and lovingly walked the hard road to the cross in order that we might be saved.

Strive for purity. Be holy, men, as God is holy (1 Peter 1:13–21). Practice spiritual disciplines. Take initiative in your walk with God. Read His Word. Be long with Him in prayer. Fast. Worship. Men if you’re going to be disciplined about anything, don’t let it be video games or working out or getting a paycheck or hunting or fishing or following this or that sport or listening to this or that music. Be disciplined in your pursuit of God over and above everything else.

Flee sexual immorality. Be a one-woman man. Husbands, have eyes for no one but your wife. Single guys, keep your eyes and your hands off of anyone who is not your wife. Flee all forms of sexual immorality—heterosexual and/or homosexual, pornographic or in person, in thought, desire, or in deed. Flee it, men.

Fight material idolatry. Your life is not defined by how much you make and how much you have. Get out of the rat race that says this is what makes a man. It’s what makes a fool. Fight material idolatry, and cultivate personal integrity in your life, in your family, in your work. Strive for purity.

Take responsibility; take responsibility in your life. Take responsibility for starting a family, and take responsibility for shepherding a family in every way—spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, physically, and relationally.

Take responsibility...

Spiritually, is your wife flourishing in her relationship with Christ? Are your children flourishing in their relationships with Christ? Start by praying with your wife and your kids. Read the Bible with them. Talk about God with them. If you haven’t already, lead your family to become committed members of the church where they (and you) can grow and help others grow in Christ. Shepherd your family spiritually.

Emotionally. Your wife wants you to know her, and she wants to know you. This requires more than sitting in the same room with her or sleeping in the same bed with her. This requires work, initiative, you sitting down with your wife and asking her how she feels. What is the state of her heart? How can you serve her heart? Take the initiative. Don’t wait for her to come to you and say, “There are some problems in my life or in our marriage that we need to talk about.” You initiate that conversation.

Take responsibility physically for your life and your family. Some of you need to do this with the way you eat, with the way you don’t exercise. Obviously, we know that not one of us, even the healthiest among us, is guaranteed tomorrow, but the reality is that you are a steward of the body you have been given, and you owe it to your wife and your children to steward that body well—if not for your good, at least for their good. And to take responsibility in the same way for the physical health of your family—that together you might love the Lord with all your strength and honor the Lord as temples of the Holy Spirit.

Intellectually, take responsibility for your family knowing God and loving God with all their minds. And relationally, take responsibility for the social health of your family, for the relationships within your family, and with the community (and the nations) outside your family. Show your sons what it looks like to love a wife well, and show your daughters what it looks like to be served by a husband. Show them how to love neighbors and people in need.

You say, “This takes a lot of time. How do I do this?” Now you realize you don’t have time for all your hobbies and your sports and your games and your shows that you thought you had time for because you’re giving your time to things that actually matter, to people who actually matter. See it! This is what the cross compels us to do. Jesus took responsibility for our salvation, for leading us to the Father, so in Him, we take responsibility for starting, for shepherding a family to love God.

Strive for purity, take responsibility, and provide and protect those around us. Honor women, train boys to be men, and love your wives, the cross compels us to show selfless, sacrificial love for our wives.

We are driven on this Father’s Day to the cross, for the cross compels us to desperate dependence on grace that only Christ can give. To be a man is to be found in Christ. To be a husband is to love like Christ. To be a father is to lead like Christ. You cannot do any of this apart from Christ.