The sacred duty of a husband and father

Introduction:

Because today is Fathers Day, I want to spend a little time together this morning discussing what is quite possibly the most overlooked advice when it comes to Fatherhood. It is advice that is paramount and foundational to being a good father. This must happen first.

In our text before us this morning, v.22-24 are instructing a wife how to be submissive to her husband, and boy do we conservative christian men like these verses.

There are three reasons given in vs.22-24 as to why a wife should be submissive. Im simply going to list them, but not flush them out fully this morning. You can go back on our youtube page in our series through Ephesians and find an entire sermon regarding that.

The reasons given are simple:

It is God’s will and an act of living in obedience to the Lord. v.22)

It is God’s order for the family unit. (v.23)

It is an example of the church and our relationship to Christ. (v.23-24)

Men, please understand when the Bible speaks of submission, it is not a club to bully your wife around with. A wife’s submission is her response to our love for her and if we are loving her properly, we will never have to demand it.

In. v.25 we read four words that are packed full of power “husbands, love your wife.”

The whole point of Ephesians 5 is that the husband is to be the spiritual leader of the home and second only to our relationship with God is having a proper relationship with our wife.

The Apostle Paul, under inspiration of the the Holy Spirit, tells us here in our text that we are to love our wives the same way in which Christ has loved the church.

What then does that kind of love look like?

1.) It is a sacrificial love. (v.25-27)

Love (Agape)- selfless and unselfish love, a giving and sacrificial love. It is the love of the mind and of the heart. It is not just a love of affection and feeling, but of the will and commitment. Agape Love is a love that wills and commits it self to love a person. It is a Love that works for the highest good of the one who is loved. It loves when love is not deserved, it loves when the other is entirely unworthy of love.

The standard for that love is Christ love for the church. (v.25)

Christ loved the church so much that sacrificed himself for it and men, that is how we are supposed to love our bride as well.

If it be needful that thou shouldest give thy life for her, or be cut to pieces a thousand times, or endure anything whatever, refuse it not…He brought the church to His feet by His great care, not by threats not fear nor any such thing; so do thou conduct thyself towards thy wife.

Chrysostom (As quoted by William Barclay), The Letters to the Galatians and Ephesians Pg. 25

The sacrificial love of Christ that a husband should have for his wife involves three elements:

A.) Being set apart and cleansed (v.26)

Sanctify- set apart

When you said “I do” you vowed that you belonged to each other, that is a sacred and set apart bond.

If a man loves his wife sacrificially, instead of selfishly, that love will not only protect him, but her as well.

B.) Not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing. (v.27a)

Spots- mistakes that tarnish your life and marriage, mistakes so serious they are incredibly difficult to wash off your body and out of your mind.

Mistreatment and abuse.

Immorality or adultery.

Withdrawal and avoidance.

Wrinkles- things that cause friction and get on the nerves of your spouse and that need to be ironed out.

Temper.

Neglect and broken promises.

Selfishness.

C.) Holy and without blemish. (v.27b)

Holy- separate and untouched by evil.

The husband’s love will stir him to remain holy and without blemish and will stir his wife to do the same.

Men, your marriage is largely dependent on your love for your wife, a sacrificial love that puts her before you.

2.) A love equal to the love you have for your own body. (v.28-30)

A.) He is to nourish and cherish her.

Nourish- to feed, clothes, nurture, to look after as long as she lives.

Cherish- to hold ever so deer with in the heart, treat with warmth, tenderness, Care, affection and appreciation.

Think through the meaning of those two words and imagine the difference that could exist if men nourished and cherished their wives like we should.

B. To become one body and one flesh. (v.30)

This has a twofold meaning:

It is referring to the active intimacy between a husband and a wife.

Two people can never become closer than a marriage brings.

Marriage is supposed to be the complete absorption and assimilation of each person into the other. A complete union and oneness.

Body and spirit.

Mind and thoughts.

Objective and purpose.

Behavior and activity.

The husband become as one entity with his wife and she becomes one entity with him.

3.) A love that is uniquely joined to his wife above all others. (v.31)

Joined- to hold fast or glued together. To be cemented. To be joined in the closest Union possible. It’s a union higher and stronger than even parent and child. It’s more than physical sex and procreation even, it is a spiritual union wrought by God alone. It is a union of the body, mind, and soul.

Conclusion:

Marriage is a spiritual union wrought by God. It is a spiritual union so great that it is beyond anything physical is this world. It should be a place of warmth, splendor, tenderness and sharing.

Men, if you love your wife correctly, you will love your children correctly.

v.32-33 tell us that:

Christ and his love for the church are symbolic examples for the husband and that the church in their love for Christ are symbolic examples for the wife.

THE PICTURE TELLS US THREE VERY PRACTICAL THINGS:

The home should be filled with the presence of an atmosphere of the Lord.

The home is to be governed by the Lord. Every decision should be made in light of the Lord and his will.

The home has three partners: husband, wife, and Christ.

Application: Here is the clear and simple take your way from Ephesians 5:22-33:

The husband is to love his wife as much as he loves himself with the sacrificial love of Christ.

The wife is to reverence her husband the way in which she reverences Christ.

When we have that kind of marriage, then we preach the gospel with our union.