What Every Father Ought To Be

1 Timothy 3:1-7 “What Every Father Ought To Be”

Would you turn to 1 Timothy 3, today is Father’s Day and I would like to wish all of the fathers in the congregation today, a Happy Father’s day.

Now the passage we are looking at, perhaps is a little unusual for a father’s day message, because the passage is focused on those who are looking to be a pastor.

And Paul gives a series of qualifications for what it is to be a pastor. Now what is a pastor? Well, a pastor, is another term for shepherd. And what does a shepherd do? He guides a flock.

Well, if we really get down to it, that is what the man is suppose to do for his family. To be their shepherd, to guide them. So, let’s read this passage and see the qualifications for what every father ought to be.

[Read Scripture]

Now we have this list that Paul shares with us about being a pastor, and if we are to be God’s men, this is what every man should aspire to be like.

The problem of today, is that we have boys pretending to be men, but what needs to happen, is that the males of today, need to learn how to be men, and learn how to be godly fathers. So, I would like for you to see what every father ought to be. Every father ought to be…

A Partner

· I shared this at mother’s day, but it bears repeating. That fatherhood should start in marriage.

· Now that means that a man and a woman come together, and they make a family together.

· The man is not to be overbearing of the wife, the wife is not a slave but a partner.

· You know, way back in the beginning, God saw that man needed someone to be by his side, so God created woman.

o Genesis 2:18 “And the LORD God said, It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”

· Now somewhere along the way, men have taken that help mate and abused it.

1. They one have treated their wife as a waitress

2. They have forfeited their place as a man, and pushed their duties on the woman

i. No wonder we have males who don’t know their males, they have never been taught how to be a man.

3. They have forgotten to love their wife as Christ loved the church. Ephesians 5:25

· Husbands and wives are to help one another, not to oppose one another

o Arguing with your partner is like trying to read the “Terms of Use” on the internet. Eventually, you just give up and say, “I agree.”

· Fatherhood is a partnership with motherhood, neither can be as great without the other.

A Provider

· A father ought to be a Provider.

· Now I know what 99% of you men in the service are thinking, when I say provider. That you have to be the one who sacrifices all of your time earning money, so that there is food on the table.

· But being a provider is not just about earning money. Its important that you are providing financial resources for your family if you are able. But just providing money is not your only job.

· You see as a provider you should be providing your family with

o Prayers

o Guidance & discipline

o Godly role model

o Love to mother and child

· Now I believe men ought to work. But we are living in a day where many don’t won’t to work anymore.

· We rather let someone else do it. So many today are just sitting at home, or hanging out at places they ought not to be. No drive. No ambition. There use to be a name for that. Deadbeat.

· 2 Thessalonians 3:10 “For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.”

· Its time for us as men to provide a home where our families are cared for and God is put first.

A Protector

· Now every father ought to be a partner and provider, but also every father ought to be a protector.

· Can we all agree that the home is under attack? That our beliefs and values are being attacked by a Satanic agenda.

· Let me ask you, dads. Would you stand up to someone breaking into your home and abusing your family? Then as the man of the home, its time to stand up to this junk that is entering into our homes and abusing our families.

· You know Joshua was a man who was a leader of the children of Israel. He had a lot of responsibility, God had placed him to lead the people into the promised land. But before he was a leader of all of the people, he was a leader of his family. And there came a day where there was some dissension among the people, it was spiritual warfare taking place. Now Joshua has to deal with this matter, and what did Joshua do, he stood up there and protected his family. And in doing so, he lead the people.

o Joshua 24:14-15 “Now therefore fear the Lord, and serve him in sincerity and in truth: and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt; and serve ye the Lord. 15 And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

· Fathers, those same pagan gods are tempting our families, and it is up to us to protect them.

· It is time for us to heed Ephesians 4:27 “Neither give place to the devil.”

A Parent

· Now there is another thing every father ought to be. And that is a parent. Now that sounds a little off saying that, but the truth of the matter is that many men who are in the home, act more like children that they do a parent.

· Look what the scripture says here in verse 4 “One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity.”

· We men think we are the kings of our homes. But our subjects are running wild. Or the men are running wild just like the subjects.

· Now I know we are not to be a tyrant. It is not our job to just bark orders all day. That is not ruling your house well. Because when you just boss your family around, you know what is going to happen? They are going to begin to hate and despise you.

· Ephesians 6:4 “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.”

· One that ruleth his house well, is one that understands that children are children, a wife is a wife, and that you need them just like they need you. It is rewarding and taking care of them.

· It is watching out for them, but also it is knowing when it is time to step in when they get out of hand.

· Now dad, you are to be a dad. It is not up to the wife to have to be the disciplinary all of the time. Its time to be a man and be a parent.

Is Present

· Not only is he to be a parent, he is to be present.

· What we need is men who are present in the home. Do you realize that many homes are missing the man in it.

· There are a lot of factors that are removing men from being in the home.

o Work

§ Some workplaces know the man better than some families do.

o Separation / Divorce

§ Here is a sad statistic, 1 in 4 children grow up in a home without a father.

o Uncommitted / Other Interests or Hobbies

§ Not invested in the family, will spend thousands of $ on golf clubs, boats, guns but won’t give time for the family.

· To many men are missing from the pictures of their family.

· Illustration: Billy Crystal was in NY when his daughter Lindsay turned 11. He phoned home to wish her a happy birthday and to apologize for not being there. Then he said, ''I've sent a large package that will arrive late this afternoon.'' Then he jumped on a non-stop flight to LA. Later, when Lindsay got home from school, the doorbell rang and when she opened the door she saw a large, six-foot box. When she opened it, her Dad was inside. Crystal said, ''She hugged me so long I didn't think she'd ever let go!'' Then he added, ''I've missed 35 birthdays with my Dad. I'm not gonna let that happen with my daughter.'' Crystal was 15-years-old when his Dad died of a heart attack.

· When the father is not present or participating in a child’s life, that child is going to act out. Think about Absalom burning the barley field of his father.

· Now Paul tells Timothy here some of the hang ups of why dads are not present. Look at verse 3

o Wine – how much alcohol is keeping a dad from being who he is suppose to be. How many bars have a father sitting in it.

o Fights – you no why there are many dads not present, because they are locked up. If you are beating your family, you are not a father you are a coward. The jails are full of men who think it is alright to hit, but listen, Jesus taught us to love. Tenderly.

o Greedy – men who work all the time. That they care more about money than they do their family.

· Listen, don’t be a dad who is missing from that child’s life because you have your eyes on the wrong things.

· Be a dad who shows up. Go to those games, go to those dance recitals, go to those concerts, see your child grow, because it is quick.

A Path to Christ

· Now we have seen that a father ought to be a partner to his wife, a provider for his family, a protector of his home, a parent to his children, and present in their lives, but there is one more, and this one is important. Every father ought to be a path to Christ.

· Do you realize men, that your families need an example of Christ in their life. Without you living your life for the Lord, your family is likely to fail.

· You can influence your family so greatly, in fact listen to this survey from lifeway:

o If a child is the first person in a home to become a Christian, there is a 3.5% chance everyone else will follow.

o If the mother is the first, there is a 17% chance everyone will follow.

o But if the father is the first, there is a 93% probability that everyone else in the household will follow.

· It echoes those words of Joshua, as for me and my house we will serve the Lord.

· You know what a thrilling feeling it is to lead your family to knowing Jesus? That your children come to know the Lord because of you being an example of Christ. It puts the verse in 1 Corinthians 11 into perspective when Paul said:

· 1 Corinthians 11:1 “Be ye follower of me, even as I also am of Christ.”

· Listen, Father, it is not someone else’s job to point your kids to Christ, it is your job.

· Now let me ask you, if your family came up to you about coming to know the Lord, wanting to be saved. Could you lead them to Christ.

· Could you point them to Christ? Do you know the way? Can your family see Christ in you? Are you the example you should be? If not then here is the beginning of the path to Christ, let them see you come to Jesus today.