As a Man Carries his Son

Introduction

Happy Father’s Day! I hope you have something planned for your dad’s later today. It seems only appropriate that I begin today’s message with some dad jokes:

What did the baby otter say to his dad on Father’s Day? You’re a dad like no otter.

How do baby pigs celebrate on Father’s Day? With plenty of hogs and kisses.

One little boy was asked, “What is the difference between Father’s Day and Mother’s Day?” He thought about it and quickly replied, “They are basically the same thing but you don’t have to spend as much money on Father’s Day.”

Sometimes there is a lot of truth in our jokes! It’s so interesting that there is a whole category of humor that is reserved just for dads. I guess moms don’t tell as many jokes or maybe they have better jokes but as I’m getting older, these dad jokes seem to be getting funnier to me. It’s no wonder that my wife periodically asks me, “How old are you?” Maybe it’s just me but I think everyone appreciates a good dad joke every once in a while no matter what your experience was in terms or your personal relationship with your father. Maybe your father wasn’t that funny but there is a part of us that wants a fatherly figure who isn’t serious all the time and can be lighthearted, accessible, and easy to approach. There are certainly parts of the Bible that portray God in this manner which makes a lot of sense given the fact that we have been made in the image of God and He is the one who created us with the capacity to laugh and even to find humor in the midst of a broken world.

It’s been said that people project their relationship with their parents onto God. For example if we have a father who is stern and demanding, we’ll see God in the same light. I’ve seen this over and over, our experience of our earthly fathers colors the way we tend to look at our heavenly father. My hope today is that we’ll reverse that order by looking at how God fathers us and how we can then apply that to our relationship with others and eventually our own children.

Bible Passage

Deuteronomy 1:30–33 ESV

The Lord your God who goes before you will himself fight for you, just as he did for you in Egypt before your eyes, and in the wilderness, where you have seen how the Lord your God carried you, as a man carries his son, all the way that you went until you came to this place.’ Yet in spite of this word you did not believe the Lord your God, who went before you in the way to seek you out a place to pitch your tents, in fire by night and in the cloud by day, to show you by what way you should go.

Out of all the religions that are out there, Christianity sets itself apart in a number of ways but one of the most significant differences is the fact that it is the only faith that refers to God as our father. Think about that. The Judeo Christian view of God is largely predicated on relating to God as a good father. And here we see it more symbolically in terms of his actions towards his own people and like any good parent:

God fights for us

God guides us

God carries us (like a man carries his son)

We’ll take a closer look at how God parents us in these practical ways but before we get to that, I want to build this message on two important principles:

God is the parent that we all desire deep in our hearts

A living relationship with the God of the Bible transforms us into his perfection (therefore it makes us the best parents that we can possibly be for our children.)

Let me just give you a quick example of why this might be true if you are not convinced. Anyone who is a halfway decent parent understands that children thrive under a consistent routine. (Parents would you agree with me.) Some of you guys are like rabid sleep training experts. Kids have to be in bed by 7 at night, take their nap at 11 in the morning. You set behavior patterns, routines so that your children know what to expect. When they try to deviate from these expected norms, you firmly reinforce the decision because that this is what we do every night. Unless it’s a rare exception (like prayer night at church), you don’t vacillate back and forth and let them sleep at 11 one night and then back to 7 pm the next night and randomize their sleep schedules. That would ensure a cranky child and even crankier parents.

Many times as we discover these parenting tricks, we assume that we’ve found some deep hidden secret to raising our children and we fall in love with the methods but often we don’t ask the more important question of why? Why do my children need routine and consistency? In fact, why do I as an adult need routine and consistent patterns of life in order to flourish? And here is the simple answer: deeply embedded in the human condition is a desire for someone who will not change, who loves us, cares for us, provides for our needs, and everyday we can expect Him to be the same person to us, and ensure that there is an order to our lives. Because when our lives our ordered, there we can find meaning and purpose. It’s nearly impossible for any human being to find a meaning to our lives when we are surrounded by chaos. And so when we think of the person that perfectly fulfills these needs that are present in us from the very first breath that we take, is it any surprise that this seems to describe God as revealed in His own Word.

Malachi 3:6 ESV

“For I the Lord do not change; therefore you, O children of Jacob, are not consumed.

Numbers 23:19 ESV

God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it?

Understandably, it’s impossible for us not to change and in fact as finite and sinful beings, there are definitely things that we need to change but it’s also easy to see the damage that volatile, ungodly change can have on our family relationships. When a father explodes in anger, when he is usually calm and quiet, well that can leave lasting scars in the hearts of our children. But God our Father does not change, he is slow to anger, abounding in love, and so His children will never be consumed by his wrath. How many children have been hurt by failed promises and what amounts to as lies, even though it might seem like just a change of mind. I had a friend who was told that he could get any toy he wanted, if he got straight A’s in 3rd grade. Well he got the A’s and asked for the latest video game console and was flatly rejected. That incident along with other failed promises stuck with him into his adult life as he tried to figure out why he carried so much resentment against his father. Again, our earthly parents can never fulfill all the things they say to us but we have a Father in heaven who never fails to do what He has said. Be careful what you promise your children because it’s so important that you fulfill what you can. And it’s s plain to see, even in this short example, that if we can become more and more like our Father in heaven, we would be much better people and much better parents in the long run. This is what is at stake as we learn how to imitate our Father in heaven just as Jesus taught.

Ephesians 3:14–15 ESV

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named,

RT France in his commentary explains these verses in this way, “And the more nearly any fatherhood, natural or spiritual, approaches in character to God’s perfect fatherhood, the more truly does it manifest fatherhood as God intended it to be.”

God Fights for Us

In the context of the passage that we read in Deuteronomy, all the miracles that God performed in Egypt was out of a desire to fight for his children. The nation of Israel is referred to as God’s own son in the Old Testament.

Hosea 11:1 ESV

When Israel was a child, I loved him, and out of Egypt I called my son.

Like any good father should, God fought for the freedom of his children and did allow them to be bound by the chains of injustice.

If God is willing to fight for us that means He is for us and according to the apostle Paul in his letter to the Romans

Romans 8:31 (ESV)

If God is for us, who can be against us?

I realize that sometimes it can feel like everything is stacked up against you but if you know that God is for you, you have the confidence to not only survive under those circumstances but actually to even flourish and grow. If you have the assurance that no circumstance can ultimately defeat you or stand against you, you no longer have to live in fear or anxiety or feel like you are simply the victim of chance. To be clear, Paul isn’t telling us that there won’t be people and things to struggle against but in the end it there is no weapon formed against you that can prosper. And if you can believe in your heart that God is for you, this enables you to live courageously and accomplish incredible things for Him.

In a sense, we are also called to fight on behalf of our children but I think this requires a lot of wisdom on our part as earthly parents. In middle school, Carissa wanted to start an after-school prayer club but her principle did not allow it based on the fact that it was Christian. The school allowed for every other type of club but not one that was Christian in nature. This is actually against the law and constitutes religious discrimination so I got to fight mode as a father and told Mira, “I’m going to sue this principal and school district.” Luckily, Mira is a woman of prayer and she told me wisely, “Maybe that isn’t going to be the best witness as a Christian. Why don’t we allow God to fight this battle for us?” I learned a valuable lesson from my wife and that is, “Sometimes fighting on behalf of your children means teaching them that God is ultimately for them.” I remember before our daughter went to high school, Mira took her to the front steps of her school and prayed to claim that campus for the Lord. If you are interested, Mira can share everything that God has done at George Washington High School, but it’s nothing short of a miracle.

However there is a flip side to this and that is the fact that we can live at odds with God. In the greater context of Deuteronomy, the nation of Israel had forgotten how God had fought for them and now they were faced with the consequences of those decisions. On the cusp of entering into the land that was promised to them by God, they saw the opposing armies that they would have to overcome to take the land and they forgot I think it is easy to make the assumption that God must be on our side independent of our attitude, behavior, and lifestyle and this is simply not true. Part of the problem is that we are not accustomed to thinking that God might be against us but the Bible is very clear that there are certain conditions of the human heart that God is categorically opposed to.

1. In 1 Peter 5:5 – we are commanded to “clothe ourselves with humility towards one another because God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” If there is ever a conflict between the proud and the humble, God will always pick the side of the humble.

2. In James 4:4 – we read that “friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.” We need to check ourselves to see if we are driven by the things that drive the world, status, wealth, materials, pleasures, selfish ambition, and the list goes on.

God Guides Us

So is God for us or not? Does He fight for us or is he opposed to us? The answer is complicated and it is here we see the importance of a biblical balanced view of God’s guidance. In the desert, God led his children with the cloud by day and the pillar of fire by night and on the top of Mt. Sinai, He gave them the Law. Unfortunately, like all children, they ignored the guidance that God provided and tested the Lord. In those, moments we do see how God dealt with sin both with grace and truth. The world moves from one extreme to the other but the Scriptures reveal a God who disciplines his children out of love.

Proverbs 3:12 ESV

for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.

In the same way, one of the primary ways that we guide our children is to reprove or discipline our children out of love for them.

1. Discipline should be controlled - Just as the Lord is slow to anger with us, we should also be slow to anger with our children and avoid disciplining our children from a place of anger. The anger of man does not lead to the righteousness of God.

2. Discipline should be consistent - We cannot discipline our children for one thing one day and then turn a blind eye the next time it happens. There is a steadiness to parenting that brings about a clear understanding of right and wrong in children that will serve them well in the future. You cannot just laugh off your children’s sin when they are young and cute and then decide to correct them when that behavior continues into their older years.

3. Discipline should be compassionate - Theirs this old adage that when we have to discipline our kids, it should hurt us more than it hurts them. It is with a heavy heart that we should discipline our children. Out of that compassion, we should forgive and show as much grace as God has shown us.

4. Discipline should have appropriate consequences - Small mistakes should have minor consequences while major transgressions should have more severe consequences. The punishment should fit the crime. Consequences for bad behavior are things that parents should talk about with one another to make sure that they are appropriate.

God Carries Us

We know that despite our many sins, God continues to care for us and to carry us like a father carries his son. In this world, a parent’s love for their children is the closest thing that mimic the love of God for us and even then it is not that particularly close. As your own children cannot fully comprehend your love for them, so it is with us and the love of the Father. J.I. Packer, in his classic book “Knowing God”, states that the greatest benefit won on the cross was not salvation but rather the privilege of adoption into the family of God. The unconditional love of God is predicated on this relationship between father and son. This is why He can’t forsake or leave us. The angels of heaven don’t have this guarantee!

Galatians 4:6 ESV

And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!”

Because we have received the Spirit of the Son, our hearts cry Abba Father. I’m sure you have all heard this before but the term Abba is an Aramaic affectionate diminutive for “father” used in the intimacy of the family circle. We know we have been adopted when we respond to God not out of fear but out of a deep sense of trust. If you believe in God, merely because you are afraid of hell and other consequences, it is a good indication that you do not understand God to be your Father. This passage talks about receiving a spirit of adoption that allows us to cry out “Abba, Father”. The term “Abba” is one of the most intimate ways that we can address God. Unfortunately, there is no English word that can be translated for this Aramaic word. The word “daddy” describes it in part but not completely. You would use the word “Abba” to address your father with a deep sense of respect and trust that comes out of an intimate relationship with him. Jesus used these very words in the Garden of Gethsemane in Mark 14:36. In his moment of crisis, when he needed to put his full trust in the Father, he cried Abba! Father!

We know that we have been adopted simply by the convictions of our spirit. The Spirit testifies with our spirit. Do you have a deep sense of your place in God’s family? Can you address him as Father or are you much more comfortable with the general term God? We have to remember that the majority of the time in the gospels, Jesus addresses God as Father and he made it a point to teach all of his disciples that their prayers should begin with the words “our Father”. Many years ago, I had an amazing dream in which God, the Father, God, the Son, and God the Spirit were looking through a window of an orphanage. Obviously, I didn’t get a picture of God but just a distinct sense that these three entities were God. They were looking at me, sitting in the middle of the room with snot running down my nose. Father: There is a lot of work to be done. Son: He would make a great addition to the Family. Spirit: I would love to hold him and comfort him. For a person who grew up without a father and spent time in foster homes, I came to the understanding and conviction that God is truly my Father, that he is indeed the father to the fatherless. His Spirit has made full testimony to my spirit.