Fathers, what will your children say about you?

Introduction: What will your children say about you? Is this a scary thought? Here are some things they may say:

· My father was loving.

· My father was present.

· My father was a provider.

Or

· My father didn’t show love.

· My father wasn’t around much.

· My father wasn’t a provider.

Will your children stand up and speak at your Celebration of Life service? And if they did stand up, what will they say about you?

It’s not too late to rewrite your story. Even as this is the first day of the week, so this can also be the first day of the rest of your life. Start fresh NOW!

Here is what I want my children to say about me. That I am a…

I. Good Father

Are there such things as good fathers? Before you answer that question allow me to define these two words:

· Good as an adjective means “to be desired or approved of”. As a noun it means “that which is morally right; righteousness”. And as an adverb it means “well”.

· Father as a noun means “a man in relation to his child or children”. As a verb “(of a man) cause a pregnancy resulting in the birth of (a child).

I like the thoughts of a: morally right; righteousness - a man in relation to his child or children. Good describes the type of man in relation to his child or children.

Would you say that you have a Good Father?

How would you rate your father on a scale between 1 and 10. 1 being poor and 10 being knock it out of the park great?

My earthly father would probably get a 1. He was an overall very poor father. He failed his children, my mother, and society.

Like so many kids today I didn’t get to grow up with my biological father. I didn’t have a good father. And on the second go around with a stepfather I still didn’t have a good father.

Can I tell you something that just may encourage some of you today? Shortly after I came to faith in Christ, I read Psalm 68:5,

A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, Is God in His holy habitation.

When I read the first five words of that verse my life was changed. I received the truth that this verse was presenting. That God becomes a father to the fatherless. I received this truth as my own, and that day God became my Father.

Andrea Lucado wrote, “The two truths that have the most transformative power in your life are that you are God’s child and God is a good Father.”

You see, we may not all get a good biological father, but we can all have a Good Father. I like the song that Christ Tomlin wrote with the title: Good Good Father. Here are the lyrics:

Oh, I’ve heard a thousand stories Of what they think You’re like But I’ve heard the tender whisper Of love in the dead of night And You tell me that You’re pleased And that I’m never alone

You’re a good good Father It’s who You are, it’s who You are, it’s who You are And I’m loved by You It’s who I am, it’s who I am, it’s who I am

Our children really do want to be able to say that they had a Good Father.

By the way, the word “Good” is used 749 times in the Bible. There must be something important about that word.

I want my children to say that I was a…

II. Supportive Father

The old ARMY motto was: Be All You Can Be

A Father’s motto for his children should be no less. As fathers we should desire that our children become the best that they can possibly become.

Debbie and I decided early in our marriage that we were not going to push our idea of what our children should do with their lives. Our three sons didn’t have to be pastors. Our two daughters didn’t have to marry missionaries. Scripture says,

Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6)

The Amplified Bible reads,

Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6.

Beth Canford writes, “the Hebrew form used for the phrase “in the way he should go” actually means “his way”. It refers to the child’s particular bent. Used as a noun, the word bent means a special way of doing something, or the special way in which something was designed. When shot from a bow, an arrow will travel in a particular direction, depending on the bow’s bent. This is designed into the bow. If you try to bend a bow differently than the way it is bent, at best you’ll miss your target, at worst, you could break the bow.

Children are not empty buckets, waiting to be filled, or lumps of clay, waiting to be molded into what their parents desire for them. Children, like bows, are designed by God with an individual bent, and a set of gifts to be used for God’s purposes. We as parents are called to recognize this “bent” and to train our children according to their design.”

Presently here are what our children do for their careers:

1. Michael is a husband, and graphics designer in Seattle.

2. Nicholas is a husband, father, and professional photographer in Hayden.

3. Anthony is a husband, father, and Project Manager/Roof Estimator in Spokane, Washington.

4. Meghan is a wife, mother and Physical Trainer and Gym owner here in Spirit Lake.

5. Kayetlin is a woman, and a professional student and shift manager at a Dairy Queen (Soon to be a barista at Starbucks).

The point is that they are all different. They all had different bents. As a father my role was to encourage them to become the best at whatever their bent was.

Please AVOID seeing yourself in your children. They are not to become clones of you. God created them as individuals. Thank God for individuality! Different is not bad. Look around, we are all different.

Fathers, we must tell our children to be the best they can. Believe in them. Encourage them to strive for success. Debbie and I told our children from the time they were born to love God first place and to put Him first in whatever they do. Almost in every birthday card or anniversary card we give our children we write – Make sure you keep God # 1 in your life or put God First place in your life.

· Colossians 1:18 - And He is the head of the body, the church, who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in all things He may have the preeminence (to love first place).

I want my children to say that I was a…

III. Fun Father

Are you a FUN Father or a boring father? What would your children say about you?

Tell Dad Jokes! Here are a few dad jokes – you better laugh!

· "I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered."

· "My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward."

· "Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?" "In case they get a hole in one!"

· "Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera."

Help your children learn a sense of humor. Father’s laugh often. Don’t take life so seriously. We only have a small window of time with our children. Look for things that you and your children can do for fun.

Little things in life make the biggest impact.

Allow me to share with you an example in the Bible where I believe we see God’s humor. In 1 Samuel 5 the Israelites were using the Ark of the Covenant like a good-luck charm in taking it to battle, and the Philistines ended up capturing it and placing it in their temple before their idol of Dagon. They came into the temple the next day and found Dagon flat on his face before the ark. They set him back up. The next morning, there he was again, but this time he had his hands and head cut off as a symbol of his powerlessness before the God of the ark (1 Samuel 5:1-5). God’s putting Dagon in a position of submission to His ark is a comical picture. (Got Questions).

That biblical account made me laugh.

Are you aware that God also laughs, but his laughter is not about things that are comical, but about people who are in rebellion against Him? God is laughing as to indicate their foolishness (see Psalm 2:4; 59:7-8). Some theologians believe that it is impossible for God to laugh at a joke sense He is omniscience (all-knowing) – nothing catches God by surprise. He would know the punch line before we told the joke.

Here is what the Bible says about laughter:

· Ecclesiastes 3:4 tells us, “And a time to laugh.”

· Proverbs 17:22 reminds us, “A cheerful heart is good medicine.”

Liz Curtis Higgs writes, “By His design, laughter dissolves stress, relieves anger, eases disappointment, lowers blood pressure, mends relationships. And that’s just the short list.

Ask medical professionals, and they’ll tell you: when a patient begins to regain her sense of humor, it’s a sign of physical, emotional, and spiritual healing at work. (lizcurtishiggs.com)

Fathers stop and smell the roses with your children because life goes by way too fast. Go and spend time in front of the chimpanzees the next time you go to a zoo. Better yet, stop by at our upcoming VBS – watch the children and I guarantee that at some point you will laugh at what you see take place.

Be a fun father – Throw a ball, ride a bike, take a hike, have a water fight. Build a snowman (Can you say “Snowman” in today’s culture? Well, I guess you can, after all it is Father’s Day). Get down on the floor and build Lego with your kids, and make sure you leave them out on the floor so that someone will step on them, because we all know how fun that is.

Take your children out for a treat. Even if it’s only an hour until dinner!

I want my children to say that I was an…

IV. Engaged Father

I read this past week that the average amount of time parents spends with their kids a day is sadly low. In America, the average is between 55 - 125 minutes a day. I ask you, is an hour or two hours sufficient?

Time means everything to a child. Never ever be too busy to pause your life long enough to connect with your children. Kids need both quality and quantity time.

· Talk with your children – open communication.

· Do things together (games, models, hobbies). Get down on their level (age-appropriate things).

· Just hang out with your kids.

· Be the cool dad.

Pray with your kids. Read the Bible to your kids. Help them to develop a quiet time with God.

Redeem the time (Ephesians 5:16). You can never recapture the moment you have right now!

Remind your children that “The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament shows His handiwork.” (Psalms 19:1). Connect them with the creation that God made.

I heard about one dad that would always say to his son, “Would you look at that, just look at that.” The son would say, “Look at what, dad?” And the father would respond, “Look at all that God has made.”

Ask your children questions. Even when they don’t want to communicate with you – you communicate with them. Keep probing and keep talking with your children.

Fathers date your children. Take them out and engage them on a weekly basis. Engage them in all areas of life – age appropriate of course. Talk about…

· Daily news – local, national, and international

· Political commentary

· School sports

· What their friends are into

· Their feels about things

We used to ask our children while we ate dinner to share with us the best part and the worst part of their day. We would go around the table and each of our children could express themselves.

The point that I’m trying to drive home is to engage your children. Never allow your children to be able to say that you were a disconnected father.

I believe that we see a father engaging his son in Proverbs chapters 1-7. A repeated phrase used in those chapters are, “My son…”.

Next, I want my children to be able to say that I was a…

V. Godly Father

Scripture tells us,

And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment. (Mark 12:30)

Be a Father who loves God, and that it is evident before your watching family. Make sure that God is 100% real in all areas of your life. Don’t just be a Sunday Father, but a Sunday through Saturday Father. Be the real deal.

· Give God the total essence of your personhood.

· Give God every emotion within your fiber.

· Give God the best of your cognitive abilities.

· Give God your physical strength.

What kind of a person do you want your children to marry? I want my kids to be married to spouses who love God. That God is number ONE in their lives. Therefore, I must set the EXAMPLE for them by being a godly man myself.

I want my son-in-law, and daughters-in-law to see that they have a father-in-law that is a man of God. Not in word only, but in deeds! I want my life to match my talk and walk. I so want to be the real deal.

In the Jewish Shema found in Deuteronomy 6 we read these words,

“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lordis one! You shall love the Lordyour God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. (Deuteronomy 6:4-9).

A godly father teaches his children the “HOW TO” love God.

The scripture says,

And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. (Colossians 3:17)

The best words I will ever hear from my children are these words: Thank you Dad for raising us to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. If I hear these words I will have done well as a father.

I want my children to be able to say that I was a…

VI. One Woman Father – Faithfully Committed!!!

The best gift that you can give your children Father’s, is to love their mother. Do your children KNOW that you are madly in love with their mother?

Christian Country artist Barry Lee White did a song for married couples at the Summer Bash Wednesday night. The song was entitled: One Man Band. Some of the words were,

That the ring on her finger is a one-man band, and until time stands still beside her man she will stand.

Fathers are you a one-woman man?

When Paul wrote to Timothy about the qualifications of a bishop (pastor, elder, shepherd, overseer) he penned these words,

The husband of one wife. (1 Timothy 3:2b)

These words can be translated as, “a one-woman man.”

Father’s your children should know that you only have eyes for one woman, and that woman is their mother. You are faithfully committed to her until death do you part.

One thing that I greatly appreciated hearing about Paul Kressin at his Celebration of Life Service was said by his wife. Mary Ann said this about Paul, “I could have never asked for a more faithful husband.” What a legacy to leave for one’s children.

Scripture is clear when it says,

You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife. (Exodus 20:17b)

Faithful men have eyes for one woman. Faithful men do NOT turn to pornography. Faithful men make a covenant with their eyes not to look upon other women with lust.

Father’s, don’t you want your children to say that you were a faithful husband committed to their mother? Sure, you do!

The other night at the Summer Bash we heard a testimony from Hannah, a young woman who is a D.J. at K.Y.M.S 89.9. She shared the story about two fathers. Her earthly father who cheated on her mother, and wreaked havoc upon the family and how she was still working through the pain he inflicted upon them some two years later. Her father had brought emotional scares into her life. She then switched and talked about her heavenly Father and shared how He has never let her down. That her heavenly Father has been faithful.

Finally, I want my children to be able to say that I was an…

VII. Impacting Father

How have you impacted the lives of your children? We will impact our kids whether we realize it or not. It will either be a positive impact or a negative impact. There is no such things as neutral impact.

Leaving a legacy is what I am really talking about here. Father’s what kind of legacy will you leave your children?

Bill High has written, “Legacy focuses on what will endure. It’s about passing on things of lasting value to those who will live on after us. Legacy involves living intentionally and aiming to build into the next generations for their success.”

You will be remembered for something, so what something will you want to be remembered for?

· Enoch – Walked with God.

· Joshua – As for me and my house we will serve the Lord.

· David – A man after God’s own heart.

· Daniel – Purposed in his heart not to defile himself.

· Job – Though He slay me, let will I serve Him.

· Abraham – A man of Faith – for he waited for the city which has foundations, whose builder and maker is God.

· Paul – For to me to live is Christ.

· Peter and John – Pillars of the early Church.

· Onesimus – Profitable (useful).

We read in Proverbs 22:1,

A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, loving favor rather than silver and gold.

Leave a lasting MARK in your children’s life. Impact the life of your children. The truth is most if not all children truly do want their father to be their greatest hero.

Conclusion: So, father’s, what do you want your children to say about you?

1. I had the best father – he was a good father.

2. I had a supportive father – he encouraged my bent.

3. I had a fun father – he made me laugh and we had great times together.

4. I had an engaged father – he spent time with me, and we need a lot of things together.

5. I had a godly father – he loved God with all his heart, soul, mind, and strength. And he taught me to love God with my everything.

6. I had a one-woman father – he was faithful to my mother.

7. I had an impacting father – he has made his mark in my life and I am eternally grateful.