Instruction of a Father
Notes
Transcript
How Things are Going
How Things are Going
Murphy Brown
Murphy Brown
A progression happened and I remember seeing it when I was just 11 years old. — The television show Murphy Brown’s title character became a single mother on the show. The plot is that the Murphy would be a single mother and the father didn’t wan’t to take any responsibility.
Dan Quail, who was at the time the Vice President of the United States said this about the TV Show:
Bearing babies irresponsibly is simply wrong, Failing to support children one has fathered is wrong. We must be unequivocal about this. It doesn’t help matters when prime-time TV has Murphy Brown, a character who supposedly epitomizes today’s intelligent, highly paid professional woman, mocking the importance of fathers by bearing a child alone and calling it just another lifestyle choice.
The political left immediately pounced on this. — It was the year before the election and the Vice Presidents comments were construed as him not wanting to provide support for single mothers.
The public perception of being an unwed mother shifted from stigma to hero. And that has been the narrative, and the portrayal in media: That a single mother can do it all, have success at work, and raise well rounded children. — She doesn’t need a man in her life.
Washington Post
Washington Post
I think it best to clarify at this point that a lot of women do an amazing job raising their children alone, and they should be given credit for that. But what they are doing is a matter of stepping up and taking responsibility for the consequence of their sin — Something that is very admirable — But I wouldn’t call that heroic. We don’t get to be called a hero when we are responsible for the situation.
20 years later the Washington Post would write that it looks like Dan Quayle was right after all. I gave similar numbers last year, but I think it is worth being reminded of, so let me share some statistics:
71% of high school dropouts are from fatherless homes
75% of adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes
90% of runaway and homeless children are from fatherless homes
85% of children with behavior disorders are from father less homes
85% of youth in prisons grew up in a fatherless home
Children who live absent their biological fathers are, on average, at least two to three times more likely to be poor, to use drugs, to experience educational, health, emotional and behavioral problems, to be victims of child abuse, and to engage in criminal behavior than their peers who live with their married, biological (or adoptive) parents.
So yes, I guess Dan Quayle was correct. Fathers are important after all.
Bible
Bible
We find the wisdom of God regarding fathers, among other places in in Proverbs 13:1
1 A wise son heareth his father’s instruction: But a scorner heareth not rebuke.
Our message this morning is entitled The Instruction of a Father.
Let’s Pray
Been There Done That
Been There Done That
The book of proverbs is written for a purpose and we read that purpose in the first chapter of the book.
Proverbs 1:1-6 says the following
1 The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, king of Israel; 2 To know wisdom and instruction; To perceive the words of understanding; 3 To receive the instruction of wisdom, Justice, and judgment, and equity; 4 To give subtilty to the simple, To the young man knowledge and discretion. 5 A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; And a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels: 6 To understand a proverb, and the interpretation; The words of the wise, and their dark sayings.
So what we are reading is the instruction of King Solomon. It is a book from a father to a son trying to pass down the wisdom he had acquired along his long and often difficult life.
I often think that I wish I could start over at the age of my children but with the the wisdom I have gained having experienced life well into adulthood.
Wisdom is usually hard won, and wisdom passed down from one generation to the next is too often neglected.
We have 2 types of people in our passage this morning don’t we? — Let me read it again, Proverbs 13:1
1 A wise son heareth his father’s instruction: But a scorner heareth not rebuke.
The one who is wise and the one who is a scorner. The division is between the person who accepts wisdom and learns from it, and the person who mocks it. — Wisdom is foolishness to the fool.
We find this Hebrew word לֵץ (lēṣ) what we read translated as scorner in this passage 16 times in the Old Testament. — It refers to a person who is prone to ridicule and to scoffing. — You know these people, they are the ones, that when confronted with knowledge or some issue react by mocking opposing viewpoints rather than engaging with them. — They are, unteachable.
Proverbs 9:7 gives us warning in dealing with people like this:
7 He that reproveth a scorner getteth to himself shame: And he that rebuketh a wicked man getteth himself a blot.
Don’t try to correct an uncorrectable person. Don’t try to correct that person who makes statements mocking everyone who disagrees with them — If you do, you will be the subject of the mocking — It will be like Proverbs 9:7 here, you will be brought to shame.
Children
Children
Children have an opportunity to make a decision when it comes to the instruction of their fathers. — This goes for young children and adult children alike. — To hear or hear not — to be wise or to be a scorner.
Back in those ancient days we refer to as the 80’s — Long before the slap heard around the world — The Fresh Prince rapped these lyrics:
You know parents are the same
No matter time nor place --
They don't understand that us kids
Are going to make some mistakes --
So to you, all the kids all across the land
There's no need to argue —
Parents just don't understand
More often than not, our parents have been there and done that. — They do, actually understand. -- They have gone through life’s seasons before us.
The Dad Dynamic
The Dad Dynamic
Dads are different than moms. There is a Dad Dynamic.
Our government, if you turn over the right rocks will admit as much. In the US Department of Health and Human Services’ guide The Importance of Fathers in the Healthy Development of Children the state
fathers should take the lead in giving their adolescents a little more freedom as they grow older, so long as this freedom is coupled with the occasional word of encouragement and advice, along with consequences for abuses of that freedom.
I see this when I used to be a church camp councilor and I still see it in scouting. --- When their kids go off to camp, Dads are like “good luck, have a fun trip” while Mom is fighting back tears and trying to talk their kid out of going. — And that’s just in our family!
I read somewhere else that Dads help kids prepare for the world outside their family. A Dad is more likely to be sterner and to not hear excuses. Dad’s are the ones who often tell their kids to walk it off, especially their sons. — When they do that they are preparing them for a world that doesn’t have the sentimentality of their mother for them.
Father’s Need to Step Up
Father’s Need to Step Up
Father’s need to step up. No doubt. Around a quarter of children today live in fatherless homes. That means a quarter of children have fathers who aren’t living up to their responsibility as fathers are putting the entire burden of parenthood on the mother — Or in some cases and grand parent or other relative.
The context isn’t children, but rather widows, but Paul makes a point in 1 Timothy 5:8 that I believe applies. Here is the principle:
8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
The sword cuts both ways. Our culture can’t pretend like fathers aren’t needed. But neither can fathers.
It’s a matter of duty. There are cases that it makes sense that the wife works and the husband stays home. I’m not saying there is a problem with that — but the duty falls on the husband — And if the family is not being provided for, then he is worse than an infidel. Meaning an unbeliever.
Heavenly Father
Heavenly Father
The calling of fatherhood is a high one. God, more specifically the first person of the Godhead is referred to as God, the Father.
We have been talking about pictures of heavenly things as we have been studying through the book of Hebrews and here, looking at fatherhood we see the same thing. Father’s get to be a picture of God.
Ps 103:13 says
13 Like as a father pitieth his children, So the Lord pitieth them that fear him.
Pity here is the idea of having compassion and psalms says that God shows compassion to you and I, in the same way that a father shows compassion for his children.
Prov 3:11-12 says
11 My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord; Neither be weary of his correction: 12 For whom the Lord loveth he correcteth; Even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.
So we find that a Father should correct and chastise his children as needed — and so too does God chastise and correct the believer.
And here is the the thing — If fathers don’t have compassion on their children and don’t spend time correcting them and guiding them then those fathers aren’t living up to their duty as image bearers of God. It is almost seems a blaspheme for them to use the name father, which God ascribes also to himself.
God Doesn’t Let Us Down
God Doesn’t Let Us Down
Fatherhood is a big calling. It is a duty. The father’s job is to provide for his family… to show love … to be corrective when needed … to prepare their children for the world … to pass on wisdom … and to model God.
It’s a role that fathers often fail in. Be we have the character of God as He has revealed himself in scripture as our guide.
Given the statistics that I cited at the beginning of the message, there are plenty of children that don’t understand what God means when he calls himself Father. — For them, a father is nothing more than a source of broken promises and disappointment.
God is different. God is reliable. 2 Peter 3:9 says
9 The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.
God comes through on His promises — But I like that the verse continues that God is also patient, longsuffering. And God loves us and doesn’t want any of us to perish.
The thing about Hell is that it is a completely avoidable end. God doesn’t want to see anyone there — Not the worst person you could imagine.
But how does verse 9 end? God wills that we avoid perishing by coming to — repentance.
This morning, if God isn’t your father verse 9 tells you what He wants for Father’s day. For you to repent, meaning for you to turn away from your sin and put your faith and trust in the Lord Jesus Christ for your salvation.
If you know you need to do this, please don’t leave here this morning without making a decision for your eternity.
If you have any questions about what it is to be a child of God — To have a heavenly Father — We are going to close in prayer, after please come talk to me and I would love to tell you more about Our Father in Heaven.
Let’s Pray