Father's Day: Follow the Perfect Father

Follow the Perfect Father

Introduction

It’s been quite a week, hasn’t it? VBS over 50 boys and girls, songs we learned still stuck in my head, it was a hot one, wasn’t it?, I had an app tell me it felt like 140 degrees one day, I think it was exaggerating, And we had some intense, storms, derecho, power outages, so thankful to see Eric and Cammi finally get their power back on yesterday. And a wave of COVID has been hitting a lot of people.

Another piece of news this week was about a guy named Rafael Nadal. If you don’t know who he is, he’s a pro tennis player, and some are starting to compare him to Tom Brady and football or Wayne Gretsky and hockey. I’m a big fan, but what was really special this week that he announced he’s going to be a father for the first time in October.

Normally on Father’s Day we often think of honoring dads for working hard, bringing home the bacon, for mowing the lawn and fixing things. And we should be so thankful for how they serve us.

But we are also celebrating dads today for who they are, for all they’ve done, and for how they reflect our Father in heaven to us.

Some of you are with your fathers today, but others don’t live near you. I’m thankful I get to see mine tomorrow, God willing, when we drive to meet them on the East Coast.

I know this day is difficult for some of you, for those who have lost fathers, for those who have lost children, for those who grew up without a father in their lives or one that abused or neglected them.

I was so encouraged to read about the Story of how Father’s Day was started. A woman named Sonora Smart Todd from Spokane, Washington, had the idea to start it in 1910. She had four siblings and her mother had died in childbirth. So she wanted to honor her father for raising these five kids all by himself so well. And over time it was celebrated all over the country but didn’t become a national holiday until 1972, when Sonora was 89 years old. And I agree, this isn’t a holiday the greeting card companies thought up, we really need to take time to honor our fathers.

What does it mean to be a father?

In a world today where many people don’t know how to define what it is to be a woman, where we call mothers birthing persons, maybe defining what a father is is not so easy.

So here’s the bare bones: a man biologically becomes a father when he plays his role in conceiving a child, and then following through with everything that role entails for that child.

So fatherhood actually begins by cherishing the ability our Creator God has given us to be fruitful and multiply, to create in our own image. First-time fathers like our Brother Tim Bradley, who’s expecting a daughter in August with his wife Mary, learn that to be a good husband and father, you’ve got to take care of momma and the baby inside of her, to help her sleep through the night, to feel for those kicks and even talk to the baby so he or she can learn his voice, to go to birthing classes with her, to be her rock during that delivery. To cut the umbilical cord, to get the privilege together to name that baby boy or girl. To get up for late-night feedings and change diapers and clothes and smell the baby’s head, to rock the baby and sing to the baby and read to the baby and teach the baby to stand and walk and speak and run and swing and… suddenly they’re off to their first day of school and riding bikes and playing t-ball and doing gymnastics and reading chapter books and multiplying and dividing. And you show them all your favorite things. My kids love watching tennis like me and playing guitar like me and being smart like their mom.

Man, one of my favorite memories ever was taking my son Adrian to Arizona and Utah last year with one of my buddies from college and his son, and we went hiking in the Grand Canyon and Arches and Horseshoe Bend. That’s why I chose this background, it reminded me of one of the hikes we went on, and also the opportunity to spiritually lead my son into maturity.

But you know what? I haven’t experienced the rest yet, but many of you have. Many of you dads have watched your boys and girls turn into young men and women, grow up and discover what they want to do for the rest of their lives and play sports and move out and go off to school and fall in love and become fathers and mothers themselves.

When my son was 5 years old, he said to my wife Emily: “Mommy, I don’t want to be a garbage man or a construction worker when I grow up, they have to work too hard. That’s why I’m going to be a doctor or an astronaut.”

But I just mentioned all the good stuff. Then there’s the hard stuff. There’s the messes and the kids being loud all the time and less time with your spouse. There’s the fear of them physically getting hurt. I probably struggled with that a lot more after I accidentally opened a heavy door into my son’s forehead. He got stitched up and it’s hard to find the scar, but it’s taken a lot of faith in God to let my kids cross the street or go ride their bikes without me helicoptering over them. Then there’s this crazy world around us, one that throws out God’s handbook for life and tells our kids to do whatever makes them feel good. So I read news this week about kids wanting to switch their gender has skyrocketed. And they’re getting inundated with advertisements that encourage them towards these lifestyles, and TV shows and movies and video games that teach them to love the world. So that’s a whole other part of being a father, of leading them and teaching them God’s ways. And correcting them when they go wrong. It starts when they’re so young, when they disobey and you tell them no. When they start lying to you and try to cover your tracks. When they speak unkindly to their siblings or their friends. And then you’ve got to love them by disciplining them well.

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Thankfully, we have a perfect example of a Father, and a perfect example of a Father/child relationship. We get plenty of examples of Father through Scripture. We get Noah, who convinced his sons and their families to get on the Ark; we get Abraham and his willingness to sacrifice his only son Isaac to obey God; we get parables like the Prodigal Son and the Father who welcomed him home with wide open arms.

But most of all, we have God himself. One God in Three Persons, Blessed Trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. God didn’t reveal himself fully at the beginning, but over time we learn more about who He is, and how as a Father we are his children if we follow Him. And that’s exactly what Jesus did here on earth. He followed his Father perfectly. We hear echoes in the Old Testament of the Father’s great love for us and then see it on full display in the New Testament. We learn what it’s like to discipline in love from God, and finally we learn what it’s like to have a real father to child relationship with God, because Jesus modeled it for us.

So we can all learn from our Perfect Father today, how to follow him more, and how to be more like him.

So first,

The Father Loves His Children

How do we know God loves us? His word tells us clearly in:

John 3:16 NKJV

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

We just sang, how deep and vast was the Father’s love for us? He gave his perfect son Jesus to stand in our place, to redeem us.

1 John 4:9-11 Explains it this way:

1 John 4:9–11 ESV

In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

Jesus, fully God, fully man, lived a perfect life, died on a cross in our place, was buried, but on the third day he rose victorious! Once for all the blood of Jesus washed us white as snow. It made dead hearts alive again.

Jesus gives the most striking picture of the Father’s love in the parable of the prodigal son. The son takes his inheritance early, runs away and wastes it, finds himself in poverty eating with the pigs, and decides he’ll go back to his home to be a servant, no longer a son. But the Father did not react the way he thought. Luke 15:20 tells us:

Luke 15:20 ESV

And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.

And Father God has that kind of love for you and me. In fact, he loves us so much that...

The Father has adopted us into his family as sons and daughters.

Galatians 4:4–7 ESV

But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God.

Praise God for this truth! The Father has adopted us, not as second-class citizens, but as full heirs. The blood of Jesus has made us his adopted brothers and sisters.

Do you think of God this way? Because this is not just a cool idea. God wants us to walk in this reality. Do you talk to him this way, as a true son or daughter of the King of the Universe? Over and over the Bible encourages us to address God this way:

1 John 3:1 ESV

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him.

And Jesus instructed us to pray this way in the Lord’s Prayer:

Matthew 6:9 ESV

Pray then like this: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.

Thankfully, God is the father of all who trust in Jesus, but he has a special place in his heart for those without a father.

Psalm 68:5 ESV

Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.

One last thing before we move on. Have you taken the step of making God your father by trusting in Jesus? Because Jesus basically says everyone has a spiritual father - either God or the devil. Listen to Jesus’ words in:

John 8:42–47 ESV

Jesus said to them, “If God were your Father, you would love me, for I came from God and I am here. I came not of my own accord, but he sent me. Why do you not understand what I say? It is because you cannot bear to hear my word. You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies. But because I tell the truth, you do not believe me. Which one of you convicts me of sin? If I tell the truth, why do you not believe me? Whoever is of God hears the words of God. The reason why you do not hear them is that you are not of God.”

If you haven’t experienced the transformed life, if you are still in the dominion of the devil, I invite you today to be adopted by the Father into his loving family. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done, or how long you’ve faked it. You don’t need to clean yourself up, you just need to repent and believe.

So to everyone, do you believe that you are His and that he loves you deeply?

Number 2,

The Father Disciplines & Guides His Children

The Father Disciplines and Guides his children

Proverbs makes this very clear to us that he reproves us, he disciplines us, he corrects us, but he does it out of love.

Proverbs 3:12 (ESV)

For the Lord reproves him whom he loves,

as a father the son in whom he delights.

My sweet little kids had to learn this as they grew. up. The first time our daughter Mikaela was about to get a spanking, our son Adrian was just 4 and he pleaded with us, “No, she’s not supposed to get spankings, she’s a girl!”

We explained to them each time that we disciplined them because we loved them and because we had to obey God and teach them to obey God too.

Hebrews addresses God’s discipline even more:

Hebrews 12:7 ESV

It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?

and...

Hebrews 12:10–11 ESV

For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

This is actually a beautiful process we see play out in our lives. When Jesus saves us, he washes us white as snow, he trades us his righteousness for our sin. We are then positionally righteous before God. But we still have a long way to grow and become more like Jesus. And God does this through loving discipline.

But God doesn’t just discipline and correct us, he also guides us:

Psalm 32:8 ESV

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.

God will direct us in the big decisions and the small ones, but we need to bring our petitions to God and ask him to lead and guide us day by day. And we need to submit to that direction.

We must learn to submit to his wise direction even when it doesn’t seem to make sense to us. Has he ever asked you to do something like that, or something that was really difficult? Maybe it could be moving across the country, or quitting a secure job to move to the mission field. Whatever it is, we are his children and need to submit to his authority. And our children need to learn that under our direction and learn how to follow God.

1 Corinthians 11:3 ESV

But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.

Even Jesus followed his Father, and wives are called to follow their husbands, and we are called to follow Jesus, and our children are called to honor and follow us. Compare that to what our world today tells us: it’s a culture of defiance. Strike out your own path, do what you want, what makes you feel good. But it’s a culture that leads to destruction, not true joy. True joy is found in submitting to our Good Father.

Do you believe that God the Father is perfect in all of his ways and worth following, like we sang this morning?

Number 3,

The Father Spends Time With His Children

The Father Spends time with his children.

We see this so clearly in the life of Jesus with the Father. When Jesus spoke to God, he always referred to him as his Father. Here’s just one of the many instances when Jesus stole away to be with his Father, his Abba, his Dad:

Matthew 14:23 ESV

And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone,

Now many ask if God the Father ever left the Son or forsaked him? I want to address one line we sang today, How great the pain of searing loss, the Father turns his face away. This is controversial because people ask if the Father really abandoned Jesus.

John 16:32 ESV

Behold, the hour is coming, indeed it has come, when you will be scattered, each to his own home, and will leave me alone. Yet I am not alone, for the Father is with me.

So even Jesus believed that when his closest friends abandoned him, the Father would not. And I believe the answer is is that he did not. The communion of the Trinity was not broken, even with the weight of the world’s sin on His shoulders. But I believe the song is trying to communicate the deep weight of pain the Father felt, how great the pain of searing loss. But he never left Jesus, and he will never leave any of his children.

So God is calling us to spend time with him just as Jesus did. Another word for that is to abide in Him. Here’s what Jesus told his disciples in:

John 15:1–5 ESV

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

God loves to spend time with us. He is always available and waiting for us to be with Him. In fact, one of my favorite verses in scripture is about God spending time with us:

Zephaniah 3:17 ESV

The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

Your times with God won’t always look the same. Sometimes prayer, time in the Word, journaling, singing, listening, but I hope at times you will experience the Lord rejoicing over you, singing over you as his son or saughter, and holding you in His arms so you can feel the depth of his love for you, and quieting your heart.

Do you believe that He is a good father who wants to spend time with you?

Courageous Commitments For Dads:

So here are a few courageous commitments our fathers can make today to become more like your Heavenly Father to the children he has entrusted to you. I hope you’ll take these not as do’s and don’ts, but instead changing your mindset and building your relationships. So first,

Love and encourage your children

So first, remember how loving and generous God has been to us.

John 16:23 ESV

In that day you will ask nothing of me. Truly, truly, I say to you, whatever you ask of the Father in my name, he will give it to you.

Luke 11:11–13 ESV

What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

So how can you give good gifts to your children. How can you sacrificially love your children, serve them, help them, and encourage them?

We went on a big family adventure in the summer of 2019 to England and France, so Adrian was 7 years old, and we were climbing the stairs to the top of the dome of St. Paul’s Cathedral in London. Adrian had a fear of heights, and as we went up this see-through metal staircase he was very frightened and was loudly protesting and trying to stop. I said, “Adrian, these stairs were made to support an elephant! He said, “It wasn’t made for ME!”

I kept encouraging him and we did get to the dome and one of the best views of London, but I don’t think he was able to look for long. Fast forward 2 years, we were hiking in Utah and we had some pretty sketchy hikes with huge drops, but I kept encouraging him and he faced his fears and conquered them. I was, and still am, so proud of him.

Second,

Lovingly discipline and instruct your children.

We live in a world that finds this statement ridiculous. They tell us we have to use positive reinforcement and bribes, and some schools are even trying to shut parents out from having a say in what kind of instruction their children are receiving.

Well, God gives us very different direction for our parenting:

Psalm 32:8 ESV

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.

And...

Ephesians 6:4 ESV

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

So we need to discipline and guide our children, but we need to do so in kindness and love like our heavenly Father treats us.

Fathers, we have a high calling and responsibility to teach our children about God and how to follow Him. Don’t neglect to tell them or leave it to someone else. don’t teach them to fear God but not love Him. Teach them to walk with Him as Jesus Did.

Our true joy is found in God, and I believe that’s a father’s true goal: to model for his children to have joy in God, to be glad in him, to have a real relationship. Model that in your attitude, in your quiet times, in your devotions with them, in how you make decisions.

And on the flip side, God promises blessings to children who submit to their authority and honor their parents.

Exodus 20:12 ESV

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

So cherish the short time you have on this earth to guide and direct and bless and love your precious children.

And third,

Spend quality time with your children.

Again,

Zephaniah 3:17 ESV

The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

Consider the time you spend with them every day. Tell them I love you. Hug them. Kiss them. Play with them. But also consider those special moments, whether they are weekly or monthly or yearly, going on a biking trip or taking them on a date or going on vacation and spending quality time focused on them. More than anything else, express your love for them, model the love of your Heavenly Father to them.

Fathers, we thank you today for your time, your encouragement, and your love.

And we give honor to God the Father who made a way for us back to Him, and has modeled what a perfect Father is.

Invitation

Follow the Perfect Father